Author's Note: Sharing this utterly breathtaking art work from @cassmfmg on IG! Honestly, I think this picture perfectly encapsulates this chapter. Also, content warning, the second half of this chapter is going to feature NSFW content. If you are uncomfortable reading mature content feel free to skip it.
Vandel
I had really hoped I'd be able to fall asleep after the events of the day. Getting a little shut eye after this shit fest of a week really didn't seem like too much to ask. But of course (as always) the bloody Gods seemed to have other ideas for me.
Instead, I proceeded to toss and turn, slipping in and out of consciousness. Maybe the reason for my unrest, despite nearly everything being resolved, was him. I still couldn't erase that image from my mind, that last heartbroken look he'd given me.
Fucking, Ridley.
Who gave him the right to make me think of him so often? Who let him take up so much of me?
It appeared I was the perpetrator—as always.
I hoped Tuttle had found him easily enough. It seemed he'd managed to break free from my mother's spell just before Stefan's murder. He'd be happy about all of this, wouldn't he? Everything we had worked so hard for had actually come to fruition for once.
We had won.
Well...if the humans and demons had hated each other before it was nothing compared to now. My maniacal speech may have helped the princess prove her innocence but it certainly hadn't won me (or the demons) any points with the humans.
Ridley and I were enemies and that was never going to change in our lifetime.
We'd achieved what we needed to and now I had to finally let him go. I couldn't keep seeing him, I couldn't keep thinking about him...fuck , I couldn't keep wanting him.
This is it, Vandel, I thought, after today this is all over. This time, FINALLY, I won't be a fucking dumbass and still end up crawling back to-
"Vandel?"
I had to be imagining it...he couldn't be....
Slowly I sat up to see Ridley emerging from the shadows at the back of my room. As always, the moment I set eyes on him all my resolve instantly crumbled. My heart nearly skipped a beat before it took off, thundering in my chest like it had a vengeance.
He took another step towards me and instantly I knew something was wrong.
"Did you get my message?" I asked, awkwardly attempting to break the silence that had fallen between us. "We won."
"Yeah..." he said, his voice a little more than a whisper. "We actually did something right for once." He stepped into the moonlight streaming in from my window and I realized with a start how red and blotchy his eyes were.
"Hey," I said softly, "have you been crying?"
"It doesn't matter"
"Yes, of course it matters."
"Why," he breathed. "Why should it? It makes me pathetic, doesn't it? My feelings shouldn't matter...not when they come at the expense of so many others. I need to go back to the way I was before." There was a pause before he added in a small voice, "I'm not sure what I'm going to do if I can't."
"It's not pathetic. Nothing about you is pathetic. Everything about you is..." I flushed despite myself, abruptly recalling the last words I had said to him. "I...uh..." shit, what was wrong with me? Why the fuck did I keep getting tongue tied? I took a deep breath in a desperate attempt to collect myself. "Everything ...everything about you is wonderful, Ridley. And that's a lot coming from me because you know how much I hate almost everything else." I flashed him a small smile, attempting my best shot at making this sound a little less lame. "You know, except for clothes."
And that's when Ridley climbed onto the bed beside me and hugged me.
My breath caught, stiffening for a moment before melting into his touch, returning the gesture. I had no idea what had happened to him. All I knew was that I was going to be there for him no matter what.
I hugged him tightly to me, wrapping my arms around him as if by doing so I could protect him from all the awful things and feelings in the world. He buried his head against my shoulder and I moved a hand to his hair, gently running my fingers through his light blond curls. I could feel his shoulders trembling, and how fast his heart was beating against my chest.
We just sat there, silent in the darkness as I held him.
"Vandel," Ridley murmured against my shoulder, his muffled voice cutting through the silence.
"Yeah?" I said softly.
"You're the only thing in the whole world that makes me happy."
And with those words—he kissed me.
In all the time we'd known each other, in all the encounters and 'almost something mores' we'd had, he'd never willingly been the one to kiss me. I'd never realized just how much I'd wanted it.
His lips against mine were soft and desperate all at once and I surrendered to them completely.
I felt him gently push me down against the bed, bringing his lips to mine once more in a sweet, breath stealing kiss. When we parted he stared down at me with those large, sad eyes that I couldn't help but wish to never part from. He looked etherial like this, the moonlight catching in his hair, his expression more vulnerable than I had ever seen it. He moved towards me again, but this time I was the one to pull back.
"We...we can't..." I whispered, every inch of me screaming out in protest against the words leaving my mouth. "It's treason for you. You're...you're just upset right now. You shouldn't be making rash decisions like this." My gaze flickered away. "You don't really want this-"
"I do."
I shook my head. "You say that but I know you don't mean it."
"Vandel..." I hated that just the way he said my name was enough to send my pulse racing even faster. "I've always wanted this. I've fought against it day in and day out and now I..." His eyes fluttered shut. "I'm just so tired of fighting. I just want to be with you."
"Are you sure?"
"More than I've ever been about anything."
Ridley
Any protests Vandel had instantly died when my lips found his once more. I pressed him down into the mattress, gently but with the desperate need to have my body flush to his. His hands slid to my hips and tugged earnestly at the hem of my shirt. I sat back on my heels, pulling my shirt off as I did. Despite the desperation fueling me into near fervent action, I paused as I gazed down at Vandel.
He was flushed; his hair wild as he stared up at me from the bed with his large black eyes. My hands drifted to his chest, running over the soft fabric of his nightshirt. I could feel his heart thrumming in his chest beneath my fingertips. The rhythm was almost in sync with the chaotic, frantic pace of my own.
Vandel's blush deepened as I continued gazing down at him. I had never seen him like this which seemed to only fuel my desperate need to be with him. He brought his own hands to his shirt and slowly unbuttoned it the rest of the way.
I pushed my fingers beneath the fabric, drawing my hands slowly across his chest to part the white silk. His breath hitched in his chest as my fingers brushed against him. I leaned back down, capturing his lips with mine. His body arched up against me. His fingers pressed against my back, his claw-like nails running over the raised edges of the scars on my back. I gasped into the kiss, my body stiffening in surprise.
He pulled back from the kiss, a soft apology tumbling from his lips.
"It's okay," I murmured, brushing my lips down his jaw. "I was just surprised. You can touch me there, or anywhere...I...I want you to..."
Vandel cast me a small smile. "Didn't I always tell you that you've always wanted me."
I kissed him again.
"Perhaps, but if I agreed I'd be admitting you were right."
"Touché."
And with that his lips were on mine once more.
His hands ran over my back, desperately holding me closer. I sunk into him, my warmth, my breath, my everything melding into him.
We broke the kiss, panting our air into one. I ran my hands down his form, the lithe muscles of his torso clenching beneath me. My fingers found his trousers. I hesitated for a moment, but Vandel nodded hurriedly against my chest.
"Are you sure this is okay?"
"You've seen my bare ass HOW many times and you seriously still feel like you need to ask if it's okay. Stupid, nice, white knight, over-polite, Ridley. Yes, of course it's fucking okay!"
It took some doing freeing Vandel of his last remaining garment given the way we were tangled together. The effort brought forth a breathless laugh from Vandel and a smile pulled at my lips. His laughter was cut off with a gasp as my hands caught his hips. He curved up against me and my stomach clenched as his heat seeped into me.
I leaned back slightly so I could find his gaze.
"Just...talk me through this; I've never--" The admission was by no means necessary; Vandel was well-aware he was my first everything.
"Yeah, yeah...of course I knew you were a fucking virgin, dumbass." He grinned, ruffling my hair with one hand.
My cheeks flushed even brighter than before...which honestly shouldn't have even been possible.
"You're going to need this." Vandel removed a small vial out of what appeared to be thin air.
I could feel the tips of my ears going pink. "Is...that..."
"Yeah, what else? I had it stored away in a multidimensional pocket in case a time like this ever arrived."
"Please tell me it wasn't that same pocket you were keeping my sword."
"How many multidimensional pockets do you think I have? Of course it was the same pocket!"
"Oh my Gods."
"Oh calm the fuck down, it's not like it was a used dildo or something."
If my face could have turned redder I'm sure it would've.
As he handed over the vial to me however Vandel got surprisingly quiet. A strange, breathy silence fell between us. "Hey," he finally said, his voice growing uncharacteristically soft. "Uh...can I tell you something?"
"You know you can tell me anything."
"Err...you know I joke about sex...like...um...all the time...but..." now it was Vandel who's cheeks were growing surprisingly flushed. "I haven't uh...I've never actually...done it either."
My eyes grew wide. "You...you're a virgin too?"
He quickly covered his face with one arm. "Uggh, don't say it like that."
"But, you are...?"
He sighed heavily, still refusing to look at me. "Yeah...um...because..." his voice was trembling. "There's never been someone I actually wanted to be with before. You're the first person I've ever..." He paused, letting out a shaky exhale before finishing the phrase, "wanted like this."
The confession hung in the air between us for a moment before I leaned in to brush my lips to his.
"You're the only person I've ever wanted too."
I worked him open slowly, gently, like he was the most precious thing in the world to me, because he was. Vandel's hands fisted the sheets beneath him. His lips pressed together, but even he couldn't muffle the desperate whine that left him.
My lips trailed a slow path down his neck. When I reached the puckered scar on his neck, I pulled back slightly, letting my lips brush ever-so gently over the marred skin. Vandel's nails dug into my back. His thighs clenched around my hips, pulling me against him.
As Vandel's heedy pants intermingled more often with soft moans, I could feel his impatience prickling against me. His nails bit into me harder; his legs bound me to him tighter.
The cascade of whimpers and moans morphed into a tangle of demands, edged with that palpable impatience. I pressed my lips to his. His words fell apart into a soft whine that vibrated between us. My heart was thundering in my chest, my entire body both aching in anticipation and terrified all at once with what was about to come next.
"Are you scared?" I whispered.
"Of what...of this?" he murmured, breathlessly.
"O-of everything..." I stammered, "of actually doing this. Of us...together."
"Of course," Vandel breathed, his voice trembling despite his smile.
I breached him slowly and Vandel gave no resistance, welcoming me into him utterly and completely. Our bodies fell into a shared rhythm; our heartbeats too.
It didn't take long before I was shuddering apart above Vandel. I expelled a heavy gasp against the crook of his neck. His legs locked around me with bruising force, but his fingers carded through my hair gently. His chest quivered as the tension melted out of him. My name fell from his lips in a broken moan.
"Ah, fuck...Ridley...why are you so good at literally everything...it's....s-seriously so fucking annoying..."
"I love you."
I hadn't even realized the words had left my mouth. They hung heavy in the air amongst our frantic breathing and pure desperation for one another.
"You shouldn't," Vandel finally breathed.
"I know. That doesn't mean I can stop."
Vandel was holding me so tightly that it felt like I would crumble if we parted.
"Me neither," he whispered between hitched breaths. "I...I don't think it would be possible for me...to ever...stop loving you."