It was the day of the school festival and you were dreading it. You didn't necessarily like big crowds. Or people in general. One good thing though, was that you were going on a life-changing adventure with Midoriya! If he actually HURRIED IT UP! You were waiting at the convenience store for him. When you saw the lettuce-haired boy, you attacked. You jumped into the air, dual-wielding rolling pins.
"I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU, PATRICK!!"
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHDKSKASAKKDJSKADKDSJAS!!!!!!!!!"
You stopped dead in front of him in midair.
"Where've you been?"
Midoriya popped out of his arms that acted as a turtle shell.
"Oh, sorry. I was training with All Might..." He replied carefully, lowkey shocked at your mood change.
"Oh." You plopped onto the ground. "Why didn't you say so? Let's go!" You grabbed his arm and dragged him into the convenience store.
"You... went on the attack before I could say anything..."
~
You went to another convenience store after the first one. Midoriya was able to buy the rope there. You couldn't pay for it cause you were broke. Youspentallyourmoneyondrugs. As you were running down the walkway, you two almost collided into two people.
"Excuse us," you said politely, "We thought you were trash cans." Midoriya nudged you.
"Please be careful," the man said. You noticed him wearing a mask.
"Ohhhhh," you said, finger(ing) gunning him. "I see. Don't wanna get caught by Miss Rona, huh? Better than the country in the center of North America by the name of The United States of America, honhonhon." Midoriya just sighed.
"You were about to ruin the aftertaste of the Gold Tips Imperial," he finished his sentence. "Come, let us go L--Honey..." Midoriya just bowed as they walked by. You gave them a stank face.
"Hm..." You hummed, squinting your eyes at them.
"Oh, that house--is it a cafe or something?" Midoriya said out loud. "You can't tell." The man suddenly turned and stalked back towards you.
"If you did not know what Gold Tips Imperial was, then you would not of thought that..." He said. You shuffled in front of Midoriya. He seemed kinda... loopy.
"My good sir, are you on multiple kinds of drugs? Do we have the same dealer?"
"Are you... someone who understands? It's wonderful, even though you're so young!"
"Um... I don't know that much... I just know because my friend made some for us..." Midoriya replied. You squinted your eyes even more at the man. It came to a point that it was almost offensive.
"Oho-ho, you have such a high-class friend..."
You all just stood around awkwardly for a moment.
"You have... a good friend..."
"Yes, I've been blessed..."
"That is a wonderful thing." The two turned. "Then, excuse us." You glanced at Midoriya and he glanced back at you. At the same time, both of you understood.
"Hey," you called out. The two stopped short. "I'm a big fan of your videos, Gentle Criminal, La Brava." Gentle turned, removing his glasses and mask.
"La Brava, start filming," he said. Midoriya put down the bags.
"Don't make a move on our school!" Midoriya said.
"You're very perceptive children," he said. Midoriya activated his quirk.
"La Brava, there's been a change of plan," Gentle said, "From this moment on, no matter what happens, don't stop the camera!"
"Of course, Gentle."
"STUPID!!! AS IF I'D LET YOU GET THE CHANCE!!!!!!"
A giant frying pan smacked into them at mach speed, sending them flying away. So fast they broke the sound barrier.
"Y-Y/N!" He stuttered out.
"Ah, save the stuttering for the bedroom wink wonk."
"... did you just say... 'wink wonk' out loud?"
You threw the pan behind you. When it landed on the ground, it broke off into hundreds of doves.
"Should we follow him?" You asked seriously.
"We can't let him attack U.A. Not after all the hard work everyone's done."
"... yeah, that was more noble than I wanted. I just wanna fight someone." You took off into the air. A mile ahead of you, you saw both of them jumping on elastic air.
'Oh, that's right. His quirk's elasticity, if I recall.' You thought for a moment.
'... hehehe...' You disappeared from behind them and reappeared in front of Gentle's face. He almost had a heart attack.
"Your quirk is elasticity, right?" You asked. You then gave him a sickeningly sweet smile. "What if I just... changed it?" The air-turned-elastic now turned back into air. The both of them fell down towards the ground and even when Gentle tried to use his quirk, you didn't allow him to. They both crashed into a construction site. You landed on the roof of a house.
"Y/N!" Midoriya landed next to you. Seemed like he jumped after you.
"Sup." You nodded. You then slapped him on his back. "GO get em tiger!"
"Huh? M-me??"
Your giant mallet smashed into him from behind, sending him flying where they were.
"HAVE FUN!!!"
~
"Oh... shit..." You watched Gentle bounce up and down on the steel beam, the whole thing shaking. Your eyes then went down to the old man standing near it.
"... Ugh... boomers." You looked back at the beam. It suddenly stopped bouncing and returned back to its solid state. You can't get rid of people's quirks. But if someone's quirk messes with the physical version of reality, you can negate it with your super-awesome-neverbeenseenbefore quirk. You flew over towards where they were and landed next to Midoriya. You looked up at Gentle.
"I admire your power and resolve, however I must continue on with my--"
"Wow, you're such a smooth brain I can't even believe it."
"... huh?"
"Am I speaking Einstein or something? E = MC SQUARED. YOU THE 'E', AND 'MC SQUARED' = DUMB PICKLY BITCH!" Your mallet reappeared. "I can skip a whole lot of episode time by doing this."
"Episode... time?"
The mallet smashed into both of them repeatedly. Gentle couldn't use his quirk cause he was too busy getting PUMMELED.
"Y-Y/n..." Midoriya trailed off. You laughed.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! YOU FOOLS!! AMATEURS, WEAKLINGS, SIMPLETONS, YOU HAVE BROUGHT YOUR OWN SELF-DESTRUCTION UPON YOURSELF!!! BASK IN THE GLORY AS REALITY LITERALLY TURNS AGAINST YOU!!!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"... she's gone... crazy..." Midoriya muttered. As they were getting pummeled, you walked up to another beam and looked at it.
"Hm... what if I..." A beam appeared over your head. "Oh. There we go." It landed on top of you.
"Y/N!!!!!!" Midoriya shrieked. However, he stopped when you slytherout of the beam like a slippery sneaky snake.
"Woo! Almost died there. Now." The beam replaced the mallet and crushed the two underneath it. "There we go!" You slapped your hands together.
"They should be dead!"
"DEAD?!?!"
"Yep! Making my way to the double digits!"
"THAT'S A GOOD THING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
You grabbed his arm.
"You have to go," you said, "Before it's too late for the festival! Oh! Here!" You handed him the bags.
"Huh?! When did you get these?!"
"Just now! So..." You grabbed him by his scruff and the back of his pants. "YEET!!!!!" You threw him at mach speed. When he was gone and out of sight, you walked up to the beam. You lifted it up effortlessly where a half-conscious La Brava and Gentle laid. Your eyes darkened.
"I want a word with you."
Ja ne!
{Ruby Red}