GULF'S POV
Two years ago.
"Gulf, honey, let's go", my mother tried to guide me to the car but I refused to move.
We were all standing on the sidewalk outside the club. I already puked two times on the street before my parents got here. I hid behind Bright and gripped his waist tighter. They kept forcing me to go with them but I didn't want to. I wanted to go to Bright's house and spend the night. I wanted to sleep with him and by sleep, I mean I wanted to have sex. Of course, my parents don't know that and yes, it's so childish but it's my birthday after all.
Can't I just do what I want tonight?
"Gulf, we're taking you home now", my dad said in a strict tone. "You're wasted. You can't even hold yourself up! We'll drive you to Bright's in the morning".
"No! I want to go with him!", I slurred my words and locked my arms around my boyfriend. "Bright, I'm sleeping over okay?".
"Gulf, your parents are right", He released my grip and turned around to face me. "We can hang out again tomorrow. You need to rest first". He tried handing me to my mother again but I pulled away.
I scrunch my eyebrows at him. I stomped my feet like a kid and whined. I knew I was acting crazy but I couldn't control myself. It was because of all the alcohol I just consumed. "No! I'm staying with you! Don't you love me?!".
"Of course I do, Gulf", Bright scratched the back of his head.
"Gulf, listen to us, will you?", my mom said in a gentler voice. "You have had enough for tonight. Sweetie, you smell like alcohol and there's vomit on your shirt. Let's get you cleaned up at home, okay?".
"No! No! No! It's my birthday and I don't want to go home!", I dropped on the sidewalk, sitting on the dirty concrete. "I'm 20 already! I can handle myself!".
"You're acting like a child right now, son", my dad crossed his arms and sighed.
"Please let me spend the night at Bright's!", I whined again, looking up at all of them. "I can sober myself up. I can shower and borrow his clothes. I'll even go home early tomorrow! Just let me do this tonight, please?".
"Gulf, get up", Bright tried to pull me but I pushed his hand away.
"I'm not moving here until you say yes!".
Both of my parents groaned in defeat. "Bright, we're really sorry. Are you okay with taking care of Gulf for now?", my dad asked him.
"It already seems like I don't have a choice right now, do I?", he awkwardly laughed. "Don't worry, I'll take care of him".
"Call us if anything happens, okay?", my mom told him. She faced me with a stern look, "Behave yourself, Gulf. Try not to make a mess at his place, okay?".
I quickly nodded and stood up back on my feet. I squeezed my boyfriend's arm and bounced in excitement. "Yes! Yes! I'll be good! You can go now! I love you! Thank you! Bye!".
My dad shook his head at my ridiculousness. They waved at us and got back in the car. We waited for them to drive away before we went to the parking lot.
We arrived at his place and I ran to his bathroom so I could shower fast. I got rid of the nasty smell on my body and I scrubbed myself extra clean. I gargled some mouthwash and checked if I had anything in my teeth. He let me borrow his t-shirt and boxers. I crawled onto his bed and made myself comfortable. He had gone to the bathroom after me and a few minutes later, he came out with just a towel around his waist.
I got excited at the sight of him. I think I was still a bit tipsy because the next thing I said to him was a little too straight forward.
"Have sex with me".
His eyes grew bigger at my request. "What? R-right now?". I nodded and smiled in response.
"Is this why you wanted to come over?".
I giggled because he figured it out. "Can we? Please?". I pouted at him, hoping he'll give in.
"Aren't you exhausted already?".
"No! I'm super fine right now! Please, Bright? Please! Please! Please!", I practically begged him.
"You're too cute, Gulf. Just one round, okay?". He laughed as he took off his towel and slowly got on top of me.
We were cuddling under the sheets afterwards. I was getting sleepy. His alarm clock read "2:45AM". I was already dozing off when his doorbell rang repeatedly. We both shot up in surprise when the person outside started banging on the door.
We quickly went to see who it was. He looked at the peephole and it seemed like he was dumbfounded. "What the heck?", he exclaimed. He opened the door and standing outside was my mom's sister. She looked distraught. She was crying and shaking so much.
"Auntie? What are you doing here?", I asked her. She suddenly ran towards where I was standing and embraced me. I was too shocked at the sight of her that I didn't hug her back for a while. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?".
"Gulf...y-your mom and dad...t-they...", she wailed. "Oh god, Gulf...they..."
"What? W-what about them?", my voice suddenly shook as I spoke.
Something tells me that whatever she'll say isn't any good. She clung to me so tight and I could feel her whole body trembling. She buried her face against my chest and I felt her hot tears staining the t-shirt I just borrowed.
"Gulf, you know how much I love you right? You're such a sweet kid", she suddenly declared. She still wasn't explaining what was really going on. She kept her arms locked around my neck and cried some more.
"Auntie, let's sit you down. I'll grab you some water", Bright tried to tell her but she didn't listen. He went into the kitchen to fetch her a drink. He offered her a glass but she didn't even want to let me go.
"Gulf...I'm so sorry".
"Auntie, please...you're making me nervous", my tears were already flowing even though I didn't know exactly why yet. "Please tell me what happened".
She stepped back and tried to stop crying. She breathed deeply and composed herself as best as she could. "Y-your mom and dad, Gulf. They just got into an accident", she admitted.
I knew that this was obviously bad news. My heart dropped. I felt my chest growing heavier and heavier at the thought of my parents getting hurt.
"W-where are they? Are they alright? How did it happen? Where are they right now, Auntie?", I started panicking as I realized they might be seriously injured. I grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes.
She became hysteric again. "I'm so sorry!", was all she said.
"Auntie...are they okay?", my voice came out like a trembling whisper.
All she did was shake her head and I instantly knew what she meant.
I suddenly felt so weak that I dropped to my knees. What the hell happened? Just a few hours ago they were perfectly fine. I was even arguing with them to let me stay here. Shit. Is it because of me? Did I do this? If I hadn't gotten so drunk, they wouldn't have come to pick me up. They could have stayed home safe and sound.
I couldn't believe it and it wouldn't sink in at all. Bright tried to help me up but I didn't budge. He and Auntie both sat next to me. I couldn't say anything. The room was only filled with the sound of my aunt's sobs and nothing else. I stared blankly at the wall in front of me as I realized this was all my fault.
It's like the whole world suddenly came crashing down in an instant. I should have never gone to the club. All I had to do was listen to them but I didn't. What kind of son am I?
"I should've just gone with them". I didn't realize I said that out loud until they both reacted.
"No! Gulf don't say that", my Auntie argued. "You couldn't have stopped it".
I turned to her and my heart hurt even more as she looked so wretched. "What happened?", I asked.
She sighed. "The police called me and they said their car collided with another at an intersection. It was just them and another person but...no one survived. I came to the hospital as fast as I could where they were taken...b-but they were all dead on arrival", she sobbed again.
"I'm so sorry, Gulf. They gave me your mom's phone and I saw Bright's message. I figured you'd be here. I have to go back to the hospital soon. The police will explain to me everything that happened. I'll come get you in the morning so I can update you and––".
"No", I said. "Don't tell me anything else. I don't want to know and I don't want to see them".
I wouldn't be able to handle seeing them both lying on a hospital bed covered in blood with a white sheet over their heads. I also didn't want to see the other person involved. Just imagining his family wailing and surrounding his corpse sent chills down my spine. I felt so sorry and guilty.
"Gulf...", Bright held my cheek and turned my head to face him. "I'll go with you. I'll be by your side. Don't you want to–"
"I said no. I'm not going to the hospital or the police station or wherever. Nothing I do will bring them back. They're dead. That's all I need to know". I stood up from the floor, leaving them there. I headed for Bright's bedroom and turned off the lights. I laid down and covered myself with the comforter.
It was like my heart just got stabbed a million times. I didn't even have the energy to mourn at that moment. Was I even allowed to grieve? Now that it's clear to me that I killed not just my parents, but someone else too, I don't think I have the right to.
This was all my fault. My birthday will never be the same.