It has been seven minutes, eleven seconds, and counting since Xiao Zhan sat down across from Cheng Xiao's Mother, Mrs. Yu. The last time either one spoke was to place their drink orders. The cafe Mrs. Yu picked was near Yunmeng, but it was a high-class cafe that lured in the VIP patients. Xiao Zhan never even thought about stepping near this building, yet here he was, ordering some imported tea that cost more than his regular meals.
Xiao Zhan took another sip of his tea, preparing to speak up before he was late for his shift. Perhaps Mrs. Yu sensed his thought for she sliced through the silence, "You know about Cheng Xiao and Yibo's relationship?"
"Huh," was all that Xiao Zhan could verbalize. Was it a statement or a question?
Mrs. Yu's pupils hounded in on him as she continued. "They've known each other since childhood. Aside from family members, Cheng Xiao gets along with Yibo the most."
"That list has expanded," Xiao Zhan retorted, surprising both Mrs. Yu and himself. Xiao Zhan was not this disrespectful to his elders. Swallowing back whatever was riling up in his chest, Xiao Zhan's guilt impelled him to apologize for his tone but it was too late.
The formality facade was wiped off Mrs. Yu's face as she openly scoffed at Xiao Zhan. The eyes that looked back at him were saying, you finally showed your true color.
"Yibo's parents adore my Cheng Xiao," her tone now was of a proud mother who was placing her daughter on a pedestal, showing off to the world; to Xiao Zhan. "She frequently gets invited for family dinners and events. Cheng Xiao always tells me how Mrs. Wang loves teaching her family recipes so she can cook for Yibo in the future."
Xiao Zhan felt a sting in his right palm. He didn't realize that he was clenching his fist so hard that his nail broke through the skin.
Mrs. Yu lifted the teacup to her lips. "We're planning a wedding," she peered at Xiao Zhan over the rim and took a sip.
Xiao Zhan froze in place: his movements, his thoughts, his breathing. The world seemed to fade away, but Mrs. Yu's words continued to penetrate his brain.
"We've always expected the two of them to get married someday. It was just a matter of finding a break in both of their hectic schedules." Mrs. sighed. "The lives of celebrities: traveling from one place to another, ending one project and starting a new, all while under the watchful eyes of the world. You know how it is."
I don't.
"Or maybe you don't." She commented when Xiao Zhan didn't reply. "I've heard about you, Dr. Xiao. Not blood-related, but you grew up with the Jiangs."
Don't. With the mention of the Jiangs, Xiao Zhan's chest pain suddenly calmed as a defensive sort of anger took over.
"You've appeared now and then for private events, but it seemed like your connection with the Jiangs was purposely kept in the dark."
"They are kind people who provided a helping hand to a child in need. My life is my responsibility." Don't drag them into the mud.
"You don't want the status," Mrs. Yu sincerely questioned. She doesn't know the full story of why Xiao Zhan's relationship with the Jiangs hasn't been well-known and assumed that he was trying to obtain a different supporter through Yibo.
"I'm just a simple man."
What a surprise this was for Mrs. Yu. Then why did he approach Yibo? Perhaps... Mrs. stopped her thoughts from wandering off track. She reminded herself why she was here and the battle already began. She couldn't falter her resolves now.
"Stay true to your words, Dr. Xiao. Since you know what kind of life you want, then you should understand how different it is from theirs. "
I know.
"They were born with status."
I wasn't.
"They chose to live in the limelight."
I don't.
"They are the same."
And I am not.
Mrs. Yu could see how Xiao Zhan was deteriorating with each one of her words. She knew she was being cruel and relentless (and a part of her now wondered if she was doing the right thing after seeing Xiao Zhan). However, she rather stepped into the muddy water than watch Cheng Xiao fall to pieces. As the mother, she'll gladly go to hell for her child.
"To the thousands and millions of fans who look up to Yibo and Cheng Xiao as their idols; who are You in all of this, Dr. Xiao?"
Xiao Zhan finally looked up to meet Mrs. Yu's gaze as she slowly drove the sword into his chest. "Are you anyone?"
Mrs. Yu stood up, gave him one last glance downward, and walked away. Left behind was a soulless man who continued to stare at an empty space.
~~~~~
Xiao Zhan doesn't recall how long he sat at the cafe, when he left, or how he got back to his medical department. He slightly remembered bumping into someone on his route back, perhaps a fellow worker, he wasn't sure. He hoped that he replied to them and didn't act rudely like he was towards Mrs. Yu. Ah, how impolite I've been.
Xiao Zhan's phone chimed with a familiar melody.
[Bo-di: Good morning Zhan-ge
Bo-di: How are you?
Bo-di: Sorry I haven't been able to talk much lately]
Xiao Zhan's fingers hovered over the keyboard until he finally replied with [You've been busy]. He tried to sound playful, but a part of him couldn't help feeling bitter (at what, he couldn't identify). More importantly, it was a statement, a fact. Yibo was too busy and shouldn't be so considerate towards him.
[Bo-di: It's been a little hectic
Bo-di: There's a race coming up and I'm trying to squeeze in more practices into my schedule
XZ: Race? You have a race coming up?]
How could Xiao Zhan not know this? Surely Yibo would have mentioned it since it's an important aspect of him. Or perhaps it's Xiao Zhan who should have known about it. The so-called boyfriend who understood little to nothing about Yibo's career.
[Bo-di: Ah~ It's not a big deal.
Bo-di: Just a small race for promotional purposes
Bo-di: I was hoping to show you how cool I look on the road... but they'll be a lot of reporters there]
Xiao Zhan tightened his grip on the phone. Reporters again. Xiao Zhan wondered how long he had to live in the shadow before this ordeal was settled. Will it even settle in his favor. When will he get to feel Yibo's warmth on his skin again?
[Bo-di: Zhan-ge?
XZ: I'll cheer you on Yibo
Bo-di: 😽😽😽
Bo-di: Zhan-ge, I miss you
XZ: I miss you too]
What Xiao Zhan would do to have Yibo in front of him right now. To hold the younger man in his arms and listened to his gremlin remarks about how 'nothing anyone says matter' because Xiao Zhan was feeling that nothing matters anymore.
"Good morning, Dr. Xiao." The receptionist's voice broke through the looming cloud. He turned off his phone and gave her a greeting. Smile.
The day continued as Xiao Zhan saw one patient after another. He was likely on auto-drive for he couldn't recollect their faces once he stepped out of the room. All he remembered was to remind himself: Smile. Remember to smile. They're here to get help. Don't let your troubles affect others. You must remain prober.
"Dr. Xiao."
You're representing Yunmeng. Your actions will affect the hospital.
"Dr. Xiao."
Uncle Jiang. Aunt Jiang. Zhuo Cheng. And Jie-jie.
"Xiao Zhan," someone grabbed his shoulder.
Smile. "Zhuo Cheng, what is it?"
Zhuo Cheng furrowed his brows when Xiao Zhan looked back at him with that stupidly, fake, sorry-of-an-excuse to be called a smile. There were a million insults Zhuo Cheng wanted to launch, but instead, he grabbed Xiao Zhan's empty shell and dragged him away. "Cancel his appointments for the day," Zhuo Cheng gave the order to the receptionist.
Once again, Xiao Zhan found himself back in that same conference room one week ago. Such a short period has fluttered by, but he felt like he has been in this war for so, so long. They said 'curiosity killed the cat' and Xiao Zhan thought he was doing a great job at trying to survive: Unfortunately, life did whatever it wanted.
"What happened," Zhuo Cheng demanded once he tossed Xiao Zhan into a seat.
Xiao Zhan was trying to gather his words as he looked up at Zhuo Cheng, finally noticing that Zoey was also in the room. Zhuo Cheng never hid his emotions, especially discontent and annoyance, from Xiao Zhan so what he saw was Zoey grabbing Zhuo Cheng's arm. Perhaps she was trying to calm him down? Xiao Zhan figured he really aggravated Zhuo Cheng this time, but was it so bad that Zoey needed to step in?
"Did more of those rotten reporters approached you?? What did they say to make you walk around like a corpse???"
"Was it the lady from this morning," Zoey's soft voice pierced through Zhuo Cheng's escalating interrogation.
Xiao Zhan looked at her with questioning eyes. How could Zoey know?
"One of the nurses saw you at the high-end cafe, talking to some older lady. She said you didn't look too well when the lady left and when the nurse greeted you, you didn't even acknowledge her."
Ah. So I was rude to another person today.
"Who's this lady? You don't step foot into places like that," Zhuo Cheng's tone darkened.
"Someone you don't know."
"And you avoid people who have such fancy tastes," Zhuo Cheng refused to back down. "Does she have anything to do with this whole mess? Xiao Zhan!"
Xiao Zhan had been in enough battles with Zhuo Cheng (childish arguments to physical fights) to know when he was on the losing end. Zhuo Cheng would drag in all of the Jiangs if Xiao Zhan didn't give him a proper answer today. And so, Xiao Zhan relived a destructive conversation that was barely twelve hours old.