Hinata was born into a loving family. His father works as a small industrial businessman, and his mother was a loving housewife. At one point, she started working from home, but her husband was too stubborn to let her work outside. He wasn't sure if it was a sense of patriarchal aptitude- that men should do the work while women work the house, or if it was because he worries about her mental health. His father was an upright man, and he has a set of beliefs for genders and roles. It wasn't like he agreed, but growing up, he had to follow it in the aspect that, well, he was his father.
Hinata meets two boys in his neighborhood one day and decides to become their friends. He was four around that time, so the meeting between the three of them was arranged by their mothers since all parties were around the same age. Maybe it was due to his young nature, but he was aware that these two genuinely wanted to be his friends. It was in a friendly way, of course, but they made him happy.
Their names were Izumi and Koji.
These two idiots grew up alongside him. They ate worms for breakfast every Saturday and hung out every other Sunday. They seem to know a way or two to make him laugh. Hinata himself loves laughing, and he loves it more when he makes others smile. He was only four, but he seems to understand a lot.
That was three years ago. He enjoyed his life even with a stringent father. The seven-year-old boy came home from a play date when his father suddenly asked him how his day went. It was brusque and abrupt in that he was suspicious with how he gave Hinata a once over. Hinata being oblivious to the discomfort of his father told him truthfully.
"It was really fun, I really like them!"
Amber eyes looked up at his father, but he seemed displeased. His thick brows furrowed, almost as if he was angry at what Hinata had said. Almost as if what he said was wrong in his eyes. Hinata closed his mouth and beamed a nonchalant smile, his hands wrapped behind his back, nervously sweating. He didn't know what he did wrong, but he did not try to pester his father for answers.
"Go wash up and come down for dinner."
His father returned to what he was doing and Hinata took that as a cue to leave. He washed up and ran downstairs to his mother who was in the kitchen. Her round stomach was bulging and the dress she wore suited her. She was beautiful and Hinata Knew his baby sister would be just as pretty and kind.
"Shoyo, do you want ketchup on your omelette?" she asked him gently. It was soothing and light, and it made him happy. He nodded his head and pulled out a small plate from the drawer.
"Mom, when is the baby coming out?" He inquired excitedly in his seat.
"In a couple of days Shoyo. When she arrives, make sure to give her a warm welcome." His mom collected his plate and placed his omelet on it.
His face glowed, and he straightened. There was a hint of determination on his face as he say: "Yes mom, I promise to love and take care of her."
It was a declaration, but Hinata truly believed he would be able to protect his baby sister. It wasn't a wistful dream, nor was it a false promise. Hinata truly wishes to be the best brother he could be for his sister.
So when Natsu was born a few days later, Hinata was overjoyed. He was the first to see the baby besides his mother. His father was busy at work and couldn't take the time off, so it was just the two of them including baby Natsu in their quiet hospital room.
Hinata stares down at the small bundle in his mother's arm.
"Mom, can I hold her?" He asked in a hushed whisper, but it was loud enough for her to catch. His mother smiled and gave Natsu to him. With gentle care, lift her up along with the blanket.
"Shoyo," his mother suddenly started, and he looked up from under his bangs. Her face became foreign to him, willowy and hollow. She was still wearing the same smile she had on days ago, but it was weak and barely noticeable.
"Do you get along with your dad? You can tell me so I can talk it over with him. I know he can be harsh sometimes, and he always leaves on one of his business trips for months so you never got to spend time with him. When I got pregnant with Natsu, I started to realize how much you've suffered because of him. I'm regretful that you have to grow up like this."
Hinata didn't like the expression she was making. Her voice was shaky and so were her thin hands. She wanted to cry, but in front of him, she chose to hold it in. Hinata had the tendency to turn his head away from people who were emotional. He wasn't an emotional person himself, but seeing his mother in so much pain made him resentful of his father. For the very first time in his life, Hinata wanted to protect his mother from his father.
A warm hand rested on his head.
"There are times when I wonder if you're ever sad Shoyo. But then you're always smiling, and I can't help but think, 'he will be fine.' It's weird because I still have a feeling that you're keeping something from me, and you have every right to. Living in this family has been hard for you, hasn't it?" Hinata, like an ice statue, stood frozen in his place beside the hospital bed. He was seven, old enough to interpret his mother's words; he just hasn't said anything because he wasn't good at comforting people. All he could do was smile and be cheerful because Izumi once said that it brightened up his day. If he smile like that again, will his mother be happier?
Hinata decided to not tell his mother anything. She looked too tired and he didn't want to burden her. Instead, he grabbed her arm that was on Natsu and pat it assuringly, a smile gave way between his lips as the missing front tooth blew a tune.
"I'm okay mom. I love both you and dad the most, and now that Natsu's here, I'll love her just as much." His smile softens. It was partially correct. He only has one person to blame, but he's not here.
"You said we're a family right? We're not perfect, but we're all here. I don't care for anything else."
————
Hinata loved his family. He envisioned it as a long intertwining root full of connection where tenderness and understanding are mutually shared with one another; though it's sporadic, it has never lost its meaning in his eyes.
He has one that he loves dearly, but like a tune on replay, he started to become too familiar with his family lifestyle. He could vividly see the flaw that scratched the surface of the picture perfect family; even little Natsu had to suffer the negligence of their father.
It began pestering him, because no matter where he went, his family there waiting for him; a family that wasn't so perfect nor understanding. Had it been a small paradise, he would gladly stay to bathe in that warmth forever. But this was real life. He tried his best every day to glue the pieces together as they crack. It was weird, because Hinata had foreseen this.
"Honey, it doesn't matter who Shoyo likes." His mother was angry, face red with hands clenched tightly onto her faded skirt. She has grown sickly pale with thinning hair. Nevertheless, she's still a strong-willed woman who cares for her children more than her own being.
"Yes, it does. Shoyo is still young, he doesn't know what he's doing or thinking. Those brats he's been hanging out with has been influencing him," his father bitterly spat out. His face was contorted with anger and the aloft air surrounding him wavered.
His mother stared agape at the man sitting in the dining room chair. She became delirious and bit back tensely: "It's not their fault. Shoyo is old enough to understand what he wants. You believe you know what's good for him, but I am also his mother. I also know what's good for him, and that's to let him express who he is as a person. Shoyo is your son, you're the only man who can understand him. He looks up to you and wants your validation, so why are you being like this?"
"You're not one to talk, don't meddle into this. Tell him to come down," his father bellowed from below.
Hinata was standing near the stairway so neither of them can see him from the kitchen. His heart was pounding in his chest, and the air thickened around him. He regretted walking home hand in hand with Izumi. There are platonic feelings between them, but when his father saw him this afternoon from his car, the old man had stormed into the house to start a fight with his wife. They were at it even till now, and Hinata was afraid to go down. Had he been more careful, then things wouldn't have turned out like this.
When he heard his name, he ran down the steps at full speed, staggering over nothing before pulling himself together to confront his father.
"Shoyo," he started, turning his body to face Hinata. He stuttered out an acknowledgment and his father gave him a rough sigh.
"Do you like that kid?-" Hinata's eyes widened.
"Honey, stop." He looked down silently.
"Tell me Shoyo, what is that boy to you?" With a cotton-stuffed throat, Hinata threw his hands behind his back and uttered a small 'friend' under his breath. He was in trouble again.
"Enough! how dare you make such an accusation." He did it again, damn. He made them upset.
"Shoyo, you mustn't hang out with that boy anymore. He'll only turn on you once he realizes that you like him. Liking the same gender is sinful. I'll make sure those boys are gone from your life." his father said.
"Enough! Do you even know what you're saying right now?! Listen to yourself, you're his father for goodness sake, why are you making it as though he has a choice?" Does his mother also think he likes boys as well?
Do I? He doesn't know how he feel, but he does know that liking the same gender is bad; it was downright shameful.
"He clearly has a choice, and that's to go end it with them. I won't let my kids wander like a wench.."
The kitchen volume grew and Hinata stumbled back lightly. It was as if he was being forced to say something to clear his name when he himself wasn't sure what he had done wrong to cause them to fight. He wasn't sure whether he likes the same gender, but it must be really bad if he did. Hinata ended up doing the one thing he knew how to do best, he denies it.
"Dad, I don't like him. I don't like boys, so you don't have to worry," he finally declared. His voice was heavy, but Hinata held the shaky smile on his face. His stomach churned when he spat out those words. It tasted like bitter medicine between his lips, something keen to eating rock and poison. The room quieted down as his two parents stared him down.
His mother's eyes glistened and she bit her lip frustratingly. She looked as if she had lost a battle she has been fighting for for so long, it hurts seeing his mother like that. His father in turn only nodded his head in approval as if Hinata's answer was correct and is the only acceptable answer. The way his father looked at him made Hinata want to eat those words back up because he regretted it. It was like a rope was strangling him, and under that stare, Hinata wanted to hide behind his mother. But she didn't understand either. He didn't even know what love is, so why did they come to that conclusion?
The only thing Hinata knew was that he must keep his family from breaking apart. If he doesn't trudge carefully, the image before him might disintegrate in front of his eyes. He can't handle that, not when Natsu was only one and still needed both parents to take care of her.
He was dismissed upstairs, listening to his father talk on his phone through the thin wall. It seems as though his father still doesn't believe him. Hinata didn't believe it himself, so his father's decision wasn't all that surprising. He would've done the same thing if he had a son, because who would believe in a lie like that?
Hinata lost two of his two most precious friends at eight years old; it was all due to his negligence
Note: This is my first story, please give me constructive criticism. English is my second language; it not really an excuse for my poor English though, but don't let that disrupt your reading. Thank you.