"Ready Mar?" James asked draping his arm over her shoulder warmly.
She nodded, though her heart wasn't in it.
"What's wrong?" He questioned as they trailed up the steps to the Headmasters Office.
"Nothing." She feigned a smile. "Let's just see our family."
"Mr. Black," Madame Promfrey whispered as to not disturb the other patients. "Ms. McKinnon will be asleep for twenty four hours. I've given her an extremely strong sedative so she can take that time to heal and gain all the sleep she missed during her captivity."
"I'm aware of that." He replied adjusting in his seat haughtily.
"Well you can't stay here for twenty four hours."
"Why not Poppy?" Sirius asked coyly flashing her his best smile, which was only accented by his stumbled and the bruise on the side of his jaw.
She frowned and popped her hand on her hip, trying and failing to not be swayed by his looks. "Fine, but if you disrupt any of my other patients I will throw you out."
"You both understand of course that despite that you were successful and we are ecstatic about the outcome you must never undertake a mission like that on your own."
James looked confused. "Why is that sir?"
"Because all of you including Ms. McKinnon were extremely fortunate to have survived that situation and a large majority of you were unharmed in your rescue of Ms. McKinnon." Dumbledore paused and upon seeing the look on James face continued. "From what you have told me you got there just as
"Professor, I mean this with complete and total respect," James began seriously. "But if one of my friends is endanger I'm going to go help them."
"That's honorable James-"
"No professor, it's simple," James interrupted him earnestly, "I don't know if you've noticed, but Marlene is a part of my family. And I don't know about you sir, but there isn't any risk or obstacle I wouldn't endure to protect my family."
Marlene's eyes watered as the sincerity of his words brought her away from her anger for a few brief moments. She reached over and grabbed his hand. "Ditto."
"Very well." Dumbledore muttered, for some reason not able to look at James. "Your parents should be here soon. I will leave to give you sometime alone, and return when your time is up."
"Thank you professor," James said for both of them as he sensed Marlene wouldn't.
As soon as Dumbledore left they both sat in an awkward silence. It wasn't that either of them had a problem with each other. It was that both of their thoughts were on someone thing else, something from the past and neither of them could quite focus entirely focus on the present.
Marlene had been out of the hospital wing for only a few hours. She wasn't even close to being fully healed, but she was healed enough to leave the hospital wing for a few hours. Soon, Madame Promfrey promised her that she would be healed enough to go back to classes and even play Quidditch. Where Quidditch was concerned she wasn't worried. They had been postponed the game after the attack in Hogsmeade back two weeks. That was more than enough time to get back on her feet. One of the things that was bothering her was what Dumbledore just said to her.
He had called her fortunate. That struck a cord of rage through Marlene that seemed to grow as she waited for her family to floo-in. She was lucky? LUCKY? Was he serious?! Did he have any idea what hell she endured? He did. He was the one who questioned her before she was sedated. He was the one who asked oh-so-gently for her to explain what had happened. Nothing was worse than explaining it, it was like reliving the whole thing all over again, one excoriating detail at time. It wasn't what bothered her the most though; it was just the easiest to process.
"Sirius mate," Remus said clapping a hand on Sirius's shoulder. "You've been here for fifteen hours, don't you think it's time to get some sleep, eat something and then come back later? Marlene will understand."
"I know she will." Sirius replied rubbing his worn eyes. "But I want to stay."
Sirius sat at Marlene's bedside for hours. His stomach grumbled beneath him, urging him to go get food, but he didn't. For some reason he couldn't understand, he couldn't leave her. Sure he promised he wouldn't when they rescued her, but that surely didn't extend to the hospital wing. The longer he sat there the more he adjusted and tried to think of other things. Sirius tried to think of time he had with the boys and what he had to do in the upcoming week, but it never worked. Flashes of her laughing, of her running around the Quidditch field, of her chasing after him and James filled his head. He always admired how she smiled; her blonde hair would cup her face, and her bright blue eyes would light up perfectly to bring out her perfect little smile.
She was going to be fine. Even Madame Promfrey had said so. Marlene just needed to sleep so the healing potions could work. He knew that, but still he couldn't leave, even when everyone else could. It didn't make sense to him. Lily and Dorcas were better friends with her. James was practically related to her, and Remus dated her for a year, why did he feel like he had to be the one to stay.
And then it hit him.
He was leaning over with a yawn, when he saw her and suddenly understood what was going on. This wasn't a crush, he didn't just fancy her, he loved her. He loved how she laughed, how even though she grew up with magic she often forgot to use it even when it would make her life easier. He loved how she did everything in her power not to get mad at him and be reasonable, but how he would always get her mad enough to throw that away and just be as angry as she felt. That was when he loved her best, when she wasn't trying to be the best person, but was just showing her emotions freely and being herself. But also he loved that when no one else would have taken him in, she did without question, and still cared about his relationship with his friends.
Sirius let out a shuddering gasp and scooted closer to her. She was sound asleep, even a little bit of drool was coming out of the side of her mouth, but he didn't care. In fact he laughed and wiped it away with her blanket, before stroking the side of her face. He would never dare to do this if she were awake. It wasn't that he was afraid she wouldn't like it, it was that he was afraid what that would mean. It was different than the way he loved the guys. At the end of the day, they would always have his back whether they wanted to or not. She didn't have to do that. She could leave whenever, however she wanted. Sure Marlene knew a lot about him, and had even seen some of the worst bits, but could she handle…all of it?
He wasn't sure, but more than that he began to think about it the more he started to panic. He had been holding her hand consistently since she'd been sedated, but he dropped it now as he stood. This wasn't right. He couldn't do this. This wasn't him. This wasn't them…She needed someone else, something else. Something he could never give her, and didn't want to either. Biting his lip, Sirius stood, ran a hand through his hair and ran out of the room without looking back.
All he had to do was stay away from her, act like how he did with her last year. Then she would adapt and they would go back to the way things were. She wouldn't question it, he even could see her welcoming it. So Sirius ran away, and he didn't come back.
So when Marlene woke up, she woke up alone. She looked around expecting someone to be there, but it wasn't until a half hour later that Dorcas and Lily arrived. Marlene wasn't mad at them. She was happy that they had gotten some sleep and eaten. She didn't want either of them wearing herself thin on her account. Still she felt sad without knowing why. James, Remus, Peter and eventually even Alice came to visit her throughout the day, but Marlene still felt like someone was missing. No one told her Sirius had been there. They all figured she knew already and they all thought Sirius was just too tired to come visit her when they did.
A half hour earlier, just before James had escorted her to the Headmaster's Office she was carefully changing into loose grey sweat pants and a plain t-shirt when it occurred to her that Sirius had never come to see her. She kept thinking that maybe the others just forgot to mention it but when James hadn't said anything about it she started to think it was because Sirius didn't want to visit. He had been one of the people that came to her aid, but then again so was Remus and he wasn't very close to her.
So Marlene sat in anger thinking about what girl Sirius was not doubt snogging in victory of his heroics. They were friends, surely that meant enough for him to get away from his hoes for a few minutes to just see how she was doing. It made her insecure and angry in a way she didn't like. Marlene just wanted the feelings to stop, but it seemed after being a sleep for an entire day all of her emotions were on full blast. All she felt was hurt in a way she hadn't anticipated or knew how to counteract.
James looked off to the side; his eyes hazel eyes weren't focused on anything in the room. He wanted to see his parents. After everything he saw and everything he went through he wanted to hug his mum and apologize to his dad for scaring him. But James just couldn't keep his mind on that. He felt too guilty about what he had done. It was one of those things that he thought that maybe with time would go away. James knew it was something that would bother him for awhile.
"Lily," James began trying to walk around her to get into the closed hospital wing door. "I have to stop this right now before they both get too far in."
Lily wouldn't let him get past her. "James that's not your call."
"The hell it is." He shot back fiercely. "That's my little sister and my best friend!"
"Yes but you don't even know what's going on between them."
James sighed and licked his bottom lip in irritation. "Lily, I don't want it to get that far. I know Sirius-"
"I thought you said only a few months ago that you trusted Marlene with him!"
"That was then! That was before…" He drifted off a furious look growing on his face as he thought of Sirius looked when he carried Marlene. "That was before everything has happened."
Lily let out a large huff of frustration, throwing her hands in the air. "You can't just-"
"But I can! I have to protect her! He will hurt her Lily!"
"You can't promise that!" She shot back defensively.
James tried to move past her again growing livid at her. "Yes I can! Lily move!"
"No, Potter!" She said sharply distancing herself from him. "You can't just-"
"Oh," He laughed coldly. "It's back to Potter then?"
Lily took a minute and stepped back from him, her eyebrows furrowing in dislike as she surveyed him. "Yeah, I guess it is."
"I thought we were becoming friends." He scoffed shaking his head.
"We were," Lily confirmed making him look at her in surprise. "But then you act like this and I remember why I avoided you in the first place! Marlene is not your property. You can't just control what she does if you don't like it. And you can," She took the bracelet he gave her off and shoved it into his hands, "Have this back."
"So that's how it is?"
"I guess so." She said as she walked away, but then she paused and turned around to say one last thing. "If you go in there you will regret it and they both will subconsciously hate you for it."
Then James watched her walk away, his hands curling around the bracelet as fell back against the wall. He hadn't noticed she was still wearing it. His mind was so caught up in what was happening with Marlene he didn't stop to see that the girl he was head over heels in love with had not only kept something he had given to her instead of immediately returning it, but also continued wearing it. And James had the impression now, that if he hadn't upset her she would have continued wearing it.
Losing her newly earned friendship had stung, but not nearly as much as the idea that they could have been headed towards something and his actions had thrown it all away. After he left the corridor he realized she was right and decided to stay out of Sirius's and Marlene's relationship, whatever it may be, for the time being. It wasn't his place to stop them from being there for each other and even if they were together he shouldn't try to stop that. It wasn't right. He would be furious if Marlene tried to do that to him, and as he looked over at her distant face he realized she never would. Marlene would trust his judgment and more than that she would support him in it. He owed her the same thing, even if it went against everything in him to do so.
He saw they had about a minute before the floo network would connect to Dumbledore's fireplace and he felt the need to say something to her.
"Are you alright Marlene?"
She nodded unconvincingly. "I'm just tired."
"I love you, you know."
A genuine smile floated onto her face, but it drifted away after a few minutes. "I love you too James."
As the fire came to life they both stood and James naturally guided her into a side hug. His arm wrapped around her waist as she rested her head on his shoulder. James's mum and dad came through first. His mother went to hold them and check them for any continuing injuries as Mr. Potter gave the both a proud grin. Soon Rick, her father and eldest sister would come through to see her, but for right then Marlene and James stayed in Mrs. Potter's steady arms.
She kissed their foreheads as they both shrunk down to fit into her embrace. "I'm so glad you two are safe."
And for the first time in a week they both actually felt safe.