"It's gonna to be okay, talking about it will help." Charlotte reassures me as we stand outside the counselors office door.
Mrs. Edith was Adler Highs counselor, we've talked once for a minute or two, she was just checking on me and she seemed nice.
I told Owen about my plans and he asked if I wanted him to come with, I declined, I needed to go alone.
"I know, I'm just so nervous." I said, she took both of my shoulders and made me look at her.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you? It might be better." I shook my head again. "No, I'll be fine."
She nodded and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm always here for you, Carrie. Good luck." I smiled a tiny bit, she's so sweet.
"Thanks, I'll see you later." She waved me goodbye and left me, I stared at the golden plaque on the door.
Mrs. Edith Cunningham
School counselor
I closed my eyes and opened the door, think of the girls he could hurt if I don't do this. I needed to do this for them, not me.
I opened the door and walked in, Mrs. Edith was at her desk, writing. When she noticed me, she smiled brightly.
"Oh Carrie, hello!" She said happily, I gave her a weak smile. "Is this a bad time?" I ask, gripping the straps of my backpack.
It was the end of the day, it was still Monday and I'm scared as hell. Owen had practice today and he promised to make an excuse to the twins for me.
"No, not at all, come in!" A part of me wishes she said yes and kicked me out, instead, she extended her hand to the seat adjacent to her.
I sat down in said seat and fumbled with my fingers, how do I started the conversation?
Hey Mrs. Edith, I got sexual assaulted by one of the football players and now I'm telling you. Yeah right, not saying that.
"I just needed to talk to someone." I started, I wish I could just go but I'm too deep in it now.
"Well you can talk to me, what's up?" She asked, still a smile plastered on her face. "I don't know how to start." I confess.
She bit her lip. "Just start with why your here, is it for a good reason or a bad one?" I hugged my body and looked away.
"Bad." I said, she nodded and took something out of a desk drawer, a stress ball. "Here, you seen stressed." I caught it from her throw and played with it.
"Back to why you came here, a bad reason huh? Are you having some sort of conflict with a student?" I shrugged.
"You could say that." I mumbled, she out her glasses on, more serious now. "Who are you conflicting with?" She asked.
I started sniffling, thinking about what he did to me and how I'll have to tell her.
"Elliott Reed." I said, she nods again. "Aren't you two friends?" I cringed, he was my friend, I don't know why I didn't see how awful he was before.
"No we were but not anymore." She wrote something down. "I can bring him in, you two could talk and," I stopped that, I never want to see him again. ", No!" I yell.
She was silent for a second. "Alright, we won't. Can you tell me what ended your friendship?" I started crying again.
"No I can't, I can't." I couldn't do this, I couldn't tell her everything! I stood up and looked at her.
"I can't do this, I'm sorry for being a bother." I started to the door, I heard her get up and she stopped me.
"Wait a minute, it's hard to talk about these things. Stay here for a little bit and see if you can try to talk to me." She pleaded.
She looked like she was open, like she wanted me to talk to her, she was so caring even though she doesn't know me.
That's what made me say. "Okay." She directed me to the chair and sat me down again, she gave me a box of tissues.
"Now take a minute to calm yourself and see if you can finish your story, I'm here for you." She said, I took a tissue and wiped my wet cheeks and under eyes.
"He hurt me." I said, so quiet I thought she didn't hear. "Physically?" She asked, she heard me all right.
I looked at her, her eyes were fully serious and concerned. I didn't know how to respond. "Kind of." I finally said.
She stood up and moved closer to me, kneeling down next to me. "What does kind of mean? What did he do to you?" She said, wiping a stray tear on my cheek.
I can't be vague or get out of it now, I had to tell her what happened. I blew out a breath and tilted my head up and closed my eyes.
"It was Saturday night, I was at a party." I said, start easy Carrie. She nodded. "Okay, keep going." She said, sitting on her desk.
"I went upstairs with Brent Woods, we went into a room and were just talking." I had to include Brent in his story.
"Okay." She said, waiting for me to get to Elliott. "I had to pee so I left Brent and went to the bathroom." My heart was racing, I had nearing the assault part.
"I was going back to him when," I paused, feeling sick. ", When?" She repeated.
"When Elliott pulled me into a room, he was drunk and was scaring me." Her eyes filled with dread, almost as if she knew where I was going.
She didn't say anything so I thought of that as a sign to continue. "Like I said, I was scared so I tried to leave." I wiped some tears.
"Tried?" She asked, she knew where this was going, I could tell. "He pushed me on the bed and," I couldn't finish saying it.
I haven't told anyone about it yet, I haven't explained it or said it out loud.
She came back to me looking into my eyes. "This is serious, I have to call Hank and you have to report this to the police." I shook my head.
"No!" I yelled, standing up. I couldn't tell Hank, I couldn't tell the police, this can't be happening!
"Carrie, he assaulted you." She said, following my gaze to the door. "I can't, please don't make me do that." She took my hand.
"You have too, you can't sweep this under the rug." I slipped my hand out of hers and ran out of her office, passing Charlotte in the process.
"Carrie!" She said, I didn't stop to talk to her. I needed to leave, to hide, to cry.
I ran through the school, not knowing where to go or who to talk to. "Carrie, stop!" They were both following me.
I made it out of the school, what went wrong in my brain to make me tell Mrs. Edith about my assault.
I'm such an idiot, now I'm stuck in this worst case scenario and I don't know how to get myself out of it.
"Carrie?" I looked up to see the twins, fucking great! Now they'll find out about my assault, why can't I catch a break!?
"You okay?" Liam asked, moving his hand torwad me. "Don't touch me." I said, leaning against the school wall.
"Whoa hey, what's the matter?" Luke asked, his voice full of concern.
"Everything." I mumble.
"Carrie thank God, you can't just run off like that!" Charlotte said, running to me.
Mrs. Edith wasn't far behind. "She's right, you can't run from this." Luke and Liam exchanged a confused look then looked at Mrs. Edith.
"Does someone want to tell us what's going on?" What's the point? What's the point of trying to hide it, Mrs. Edith is going to tell Hank anyways.
I started to try to say something but stopped, my head ached and my stomach turned. I felt sick again, only this time, it's way worse.
I covered my mouth, feeling like I might hurl but instead I fell to the ground. I started to feel like I was drifting off.
The four people near me, crowded to me, all making sure if I was okay. The last thing I remembered was feeling Liam's pull me in his arms before closing my eyes and fading off into unconsciousness.