Oh, fuck, why did I say that?
I'm such an asshole, why did I say that to her? When I return with the pie, Jake asks what happened, and I shrug. For the rest of the night, Jamie and I stay quiet. We didn't even look at each other.
When I get home, I decide to call Austin because he is a wonderful listener. I tell him what I said to Jamie and start to pull my hair to keep me from screaming at myself. I think it was my rage bubbling up at how she just so quickly flirted with my brothers. I still felt terrible because I didn't mean anything I said. Yes, I was annoyed, but I didn't mean to go off on her.
Before he could answer, Cameron came in. Mutter something about putting his stuff away. Then he disappears upstairs.
"You said that to Jamie, that's crazy. I thought you had a crush on her."
Why does he think I like Jamie? I barely know her.
"What?" I raise a brow.
"Dude, it's obvious to everyone that you like her, we have eyes."
I'm slightly confused. I don't believe I look at her in any way; I'm not even sure if we're friends.
"Okay, what's happening?" Cameron interrupts, taking a seat in the bean bag chair across from me.
"Just discussing how we know, he likes Jamie." He nods in agreement.
"What do I do that makes you think that."
"Dude, I saw you sniff her hair," Cameron points out.
Damn, he saw me. I tell them I don't have a crush on Jamie, and they don't bring it up again. Austin gives me advice that I should distance myself from Jamie for a few days before talking to her. I want to apologize, but I think Austin right. She might still be pissed at me.
***
Five days pass since I've last talked to Jamie. I think I gave her enough time. I won't bother her today because I don't want her first day to be terrible because of me.
I had gotten to school at eight o'clock, and the dorm room looked the same as always with the band posters, guitars, and the little recording studio we made in the back. It's nothing crazy, just some soundproofing on the walls, two amps, and a couple of mic stands. Our computer is a couple of feet from it, and we use it strictly for recording. What we record is pretty good, but for our EP, we need to record in a real studio. The boys come in, and I'm glad Micah and Cameron are my roommates. A few moments later, there's a gentle knock on the door. Dean Beyer smiles as she stands in the doorway.
"Morning, gentlemen, I would like to speak to Mr. Cross alone." We all had shocked faces, but Micah and Cameron left anyway.
"Am I in trouble?"
"No, I just want to inform you that you are assigned to show a new student around campus here the dorm building they are staying in. At nine, you need to show them around their schedule should be in the folder as well."
After that, she left, and Cameron and Micah came back in. I forgot earlier this semester I signed up to be part of the welcome community. I never had to give anyone a tour until now. I tell them what she said and look in the folder she gave me. I think a page is missing because there's no physical information about the new student like their name, gender, grade, etc. All it says is that there in the Phoenix building in room 104 and their schedule. I notice this person has the same schedule as me as well.
"Isn't the Phoenix buildings one of the girls' dorms," I ask both of them, and Cameron nods. So she's a girl, but that's all I know. Micah suggests I should leave now since it's almost nine and the building is on the other side of the campus.
I head towards the dorm building where the new student lives, and begin to wonder who is showing Jamie around; it's probably Sophie because she's also on the welcome committee. As I approach the room, I knock.
"Just a minute."
That voice. That accent. I know it anywhere. I have to leave. I can't see her yet. It's too late; she swings the door open. Her face crunches up with disgust and rolls her eyes. She was about to close the door until I put my foot in the doorway.
"Jamie, I'm just doing my job as the welcome committee, and I have to show you around." I hear her sigh and open the door more.
"Well, you don't have to, I will just find things on my own since I'm too annoyed with you."
She is going to play the guilt card. I can't blame her, I was out of line.
"Look, just let me show you around, then we don't have to say another word to each other, alright, " I state, not wanting to argue with her.
She takes a moment to think then says, "I only agree because Sophie can't show me around, and I don't know anyone else here."
Good enough for me.
I show where all her classes are, the cafeteria, the library, the gym, the student lounge. Jamie slowly dragged her feet behind me with a scowl perched on her face. I thought she would stop acting like a brat by now. Man this girl can hold a grudge.
I lead her farther from the main campus, and down a trail where my favorite place is located. It's hidden behind two tall and broad shrubs. I ignore Jamie's whining and the twigs poking her and continued until I find a nice spot in the grass. In the spring everything is vibrant and full of life, but as we get closer to winter the grass is slowly turning sienna and the cherry blossom trees are wilting.
I like to come here regardless it's perfect for when I want to be alone. I don't think anyone else besides me knows about it. Maybe showing Jamie this place will make her calm down and we can actually talk out our differences. Jamie sits next to me and we both enjoy the sounds of the birds and squirrels up in the tree. After ten minutes I decide to finally say something.
"You know I didn't mean any of those things I said at the dinner party," I confess.
"Well, it sure felt like you did," she snaps.
"I know I was an ass, but I'm sorry I shouldn't have said any of those things." Her frown disappears, and she huffs.
"It's fine. I could tell something was up with you, though."
"Yeah, I was taking my anger out on you when it was directed towards my brothers."
I was annoyed they were flirting with her, especially Jake. He has Rebecca but was drooling over Jamie. Jake can tell me all he wants that he doesn't like Jamie, but it's pretty clear he has some feelings for her.
"What'd they do?" Her brow raises in curiosity. I tell her that Jake has a girlfriend but he was flirting with her a few nights ago. Also, ask if she likes him.
"No, I don't. Jake told me about Rebecca on the plane, and I can tell he loves her." Well, now, I feel stupid.
"Sorry. I just can't stand cheaters." I hate to see my favorite brother become one.
"On that plane ride, he listened, and we grew a great friendship, nothing else. That's why we're so close." I nod, believing her.
"But is that really the only reason why you were such a grouch."
I avoid eye contact picking up some pieces of grass. "Well, I guess it was more because I felt left out, everyone seemed to be having fun except me."
Her attention was on my brothers just like everyone else's usually are. My brothers are always the center of attention in family functions and events so when Jamie kept talking to them instead of me made me feel excluded from their conversation.
"I'm not the cool Cross and it just felt like you guys didn't want to talk to me."
"Lucas, you are the cool Cross. You're in a fucking band and have a lip piercing! Sorry if I made you feel that way, but you weren't so friendly that night." I nod, she did have a point. I was in a mood that day.
I glad she thinks I'm cooler than my brothers, that's a first. I get up from the ground and hold my hand out to her. She grips my palm and I pull her up. As we walk back I suggest we grab something to eat.
We head to the cafeteria and go to the Mexican food restaurant because Jamie was craving a quesadilla. I ordered a bean burrito and sat with her at a table outside. She tells me about when she worked at a Taco Bell but got fired for almost burning the kitchen down. She wasn't supposed to be cooking, but she wanted to make herself some lunch, and it took a turn for the worst. I enjoyed hearing her stories about her life before moving here; I get a sense of who she is. I can tell she misses home; her eyes dim when mentioning friends or family, even her old school.
"Thanks for lunch, Lucas." She waves goodbye before walking back to her dorm. I'm glad we worked it out. Jamie is someone I would rather have as a friend than an enemy.