Mads
I had this feeling in my chest. It was hard to ignore. The feeling of impending doom. This was my last night with Allison before I left for the Island. Leaving her here on the mainland for her therapy was a hard decision to make. After hiring guards including Logan, and making arrangements with friends to keep an eye on her, I felt more at ease. Her father was losing his power and Josh was just a trust fund kid. Leaving her here was more beneficial, allowing her to be close to her doctor, a counselor, and her best friend, plus it would allow her to work on her separation anxiety. Of course, I will call, visit on weekends, and video message her. Even with the stakes now being so low with Troy arrested, I still felt sick about it.
Allison had fun with Sara, I could tell they really hit it off. They even made plans for the upcoming week.
Now, over an hour after Sara and Malcolm had left, we stood in the master bathroom. Allison was in a silk blue robe, her hair up, and her eyes on her skin. She was rubbing moisturizer into the skin of her neck. She made a sound of relief. I looked like a disaster. My hair was a mess, shirtless with grey pajama bottoms. I looked... old.
I look at Allison, watch her move her hands across her skin.
I take a step closer to her than another.
"I feel like I'm the gazelle in an animal documentary and you're the lion," She says.
I shake my head. "Pretty sure it's the other way around."
"The gazelle stalking the lion?" She chuckles.
"No. You're the lioness. I'm falling for your trap, right now," He says with a sigh.
I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her closer to me.
"I'm not the one starving," she says.
I smile as I move my head down and capture her lips. Sweet, savory, addictive. The kiss isn't long but it isn't quick either. As we part I stare at her, specifically her eyes. She gently places a hand on my cheek. My arms are wrapped around her waist, I gently caress the small of her back.
"Are you okay?" She asks.
"I'm great, just waiting for the inevitable disaster of leaving you here alone."
She rolls her eyes. "I'll be fine."
"Is that a joke? I mean..."
I release her and turn away. I don't want to have this conversation. I don't want to ruin our night and I don't want to upset her.
I go to the seat that is on the edge of the jacuzzi and sigh as I sit down. I lean forward resting my elbows on my knees, my head falls into my hands. A headache is starting.
"You're still suffering from the PTSD of last time..." I say it with a sigh and begin to raise my head from my hands, waiting for whatever argument that is to follow.
"Yes, that's true," She says.
She leans against the counter. It is now that I notice her robe is falling open more and more.
"I didn't have armed guards last time," She says trying to make me feel better.
"No, you were just around my entire family."
She walks to me, her robe now opened. I can see the black bralette and matching underwear that she wears. She maneuvers herself between my legs, placing her hands on my shoulders.
"Nothing I say is going to make you feel better. Nothing I say is going to make you calmer. I want to stay here. I want to visit friends, go shopping, read in a cafe, and possibly bankrupt you with my addiction to books and leather-bound journals," She says with a wide smile. This made me chuckle.
"Believe it or not, you are making me happy by not dragging me back to the island right away. As much as I love it over there, I feel confined."
I knew what she was saying was the truth. It was real, and something that I needed to understand. I always tell myself that her happiness is the second most important thing, her health being first of course. I would never want to confine her. I love how she can be independent, stubborn, and so fucking smart that it blows my mind. When those parts of her show it amazes me. I would love to see those parts of her all the time. For that to happen, she needs to heal. She needs therapy, to be alone, away from my dominating, stubborn, and angry ass self. I also need to work on not only being more protective and caring and separating that from my need to control. I don't want to control her. I want her to be free from all the burdens she has, from all the pain and suffering. I want her to be herself, a smart, loving, stubborn, sexy, beautiful woman who just so happens to be married to me. That is all I want.
"I love you." That is all I can say. That is all that needs to be said.
I run my hands up her backside to her waist and then back down to the back of her legs. I pull on her so that she falls forward, straddling me. My face is instantly met with her breasts. I first pull off her robe, which she allows. I then tug at her bralette but my actions are short-lived as she tells me no.
"I'm way too tired to keep up with you," she says giggling.
"Let me do all the work then," I bargain.
***
I thank God for the delays today. The boat is an hour late. The major part of me wants to find out why but the other part of me, who is in love, doesn't care. I am far too busy kissing Allison's neck, cheek, and lips. She lets me do this even as she is annoyed by the PDA. I tell her I love her several times before realizing that I need to go over the rules with her once more.
"Remember, Logan is in charge of your safety, whatever he says goes. If there is an emergency text me but call Malcolm because he-"
She cuts me off. "Because he is closer. I know."
"Never go anywhere alone. Also, Sophia will be doing home sessions with you because-"
Again, she finishes my sentence. "Because Josh knows where her office is. I know"
"Right. I'll call you every night and I will-"
"Visit on the weekends. For the love of God, Mads, this is the fifth time today we've gone over this, not to mention last night after we..."
"I'm sorry about that. I just... I've got a lot of anxiety about this."
She smiles. Allison pushes herself on her tiptoes and kisses me. Like a reflex, I wrap my arms around her waist and practically lift her off the ground.
"Now, I need you to do something for me when you go home," She says as I release her.
I raise an eyebrow. "Of course."
"I need you to have Ella call me because there is a bunch of things she needs to do for the Inn. I also need you to call me as soon as you get the test results back."
I was confused. What test results?
"The DNA results. For the love of God, Mads, the results!"
I nod. "Yes! I will call you as soon as we get those. I totally forgot about that."
"I'm starting to worry that you may need me and not the other way around."
I smile. "It's always been that way, elsker."
***
A/N:
Hi!
I know it's been like 5 months since I last updated. Probably longer.
I was struggling for the past few months with work and school. I started a new job and then a month in I had to get Covid tested and missed work for 3 weeks. I also had to find a new job because this one has me working too much for my studies to be productive.
I know this update was super short and it didn't do too much for the story but I really wanted to lay down the foundation for Allison's recovery.
I am going to be writing about a few things that actually are a part of PTSD recovery. Things that my sister went through after her assault and things that I was told from a survivor who I interviewed. I will also be researching other things to make sure that I have it right and that it is accurate and respectful. If any of you have a history of sexual assault, rape, abuse, and would like to message me about ways that I can make the recovery process for Allison more accurate, please do. I hope I can do this right.
Lots of love.
-Annelie Leddy