Harry carries the last bag down the stairs in the early morning with a frown etched on his face. He watches Louis rushing around the house, making sure he has all of his stuff before he has to make his drive to London. Harry sets the bag next to the door and lets himself fall back onto the couch, thinking over the last few months.
With Zayn and Louis both leaving for London once school was out, the boys wanted to make the most of their summer. They ran around all day and all hours of the night crossing things off to do. They ate lunch at their favorite diner almost every day, took many lake trips, and tons of late-night drives. The five boys spent every single day together, rotating between each other's houses and spending time with each other's families. There wasn't a minute that Harry wasn't all over Louis. He would hang onto his shirt sleeves, get on his lap every time he sat down, sit up on the countertop while Louis brushed his teeth, and even give him a cheek kiss while supporting a frown every time the older boy went to the restroom. Although Harry always had fun with the boys, he couldn't help but feel a sadness in the pit of his stomach at the thought of his friends leaving.
He huffs and leans his head into the couch as Louis walks over and sits next to him.
"What's the frown for lad?"
Harry hesitates. He doesn't want to lie to Lou, but he knows that telling him the reason for him being upset could lead to Louis staying in Doncaster. Or running away forever. He can't ruin this for Louis. He can't mess anything up for him. He puts on a tight-lipped smile and sighs.
"I'm just going to miss you. Both of you." He lets out a laugh, although there's not very much emotion behind it. "You guys are going to have so much fun you'll forget about your little eleventh graders back at home." He attempts to say it as a joke, trying not to let Louis know that it's how he really feels.
"I could never forget about my eleventh graders! Especially not you." Louis leans his forehead against Harrys and smiles. "You guys are my babies. These two years will go by in no time, and then you'll all be joining me and Zayn in London."
Even though Louis said babies, plural, Harry can't help but turn red. Louis called him his baby. This makes Harry smile back at Louis as he nods. Louis holds onto his hand and suddenly pulls his eyebrows together, pursing his lips.
"Harry, there is something I need to talk to you about before we leave. Just you and I, we should talk now so we won't be worried about distractions when everyone else gets here."
Harry nods, confused, while Louis takes his hand and leads Harry to his bedroom. They sit next to each other on the bed and Louis lets out a shaky breath. He rubs his sweaty palms against his jeans and places all of his focus on a specific spot of the floor. Harry stares at him, waiting for him to speak. It's rare that Harry sees his best friend like this, if ever, so what comes next leaves him at a loss for words.
"Harry, I'm gay." Louis hesitantly looks up to see Harry's reaction. Harry's eyebrows are shot up and his lips are slightly parted, frozen as if he's trying to understand what he's hearing. Louis continues speaking, ignoring the bile piling up in his stomach.
"Liam and Zayn kind of just, knew. I guess. I never agreed with them, but I never denied it either. I think I always knew; I was just too afraid to admit it. I was too afraid to accept who I am. But I'm not now." He wipes his hands against his jeans again, starting to regret his decision but he keeps talking.
"Eleanor and I never actually dated. I just asked her if she would be my girlfriend until I was ready to come out and she agreed. We've always been just friends and honestly most of the time when we went on our dates, we would just hang out at her house for a couple of hours talking about boys, especially you. That's why we never kissed and-"
Harry pulls Louis into a hug, and Louis melts into his touch. His body is instantly filled with relief as Harry slips his hand under Louis' shirt to rub his back.
"I wanted you to be the first person I came out too. I mean obviously like I said, Liam and Zayn kind of already knew. But I never outright said it to them. I wanted to say it to you first."
At that, Harry leans back to look at Louis and smiles. He wipes a tear that had slipped out without Louis knowing and rubs his cheek with his thumb.
"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. I'm so proud of you, sunshine." Harry grins at Louis. "This doesn't change anything between us."
Then Harry pauses, raises an eyebrow, and leans into Louis.
"Just out of curiosity." He lets a smirk grow on his face as Louis groans. "Was I your gay awakening? Like when you and I took each other's first kiss, did you realize how hopelessly in love you were with me and realized you were gay. Because I would totally be honored."
Louis rolls his eyes and pushes Harry away, the sentimental moment over.
"You wish, Styles." Louis twirls a strand of Harrys hair with his finger. "Although it might have been that cute butt of yours if you're lucky."
Harry laughs and stands up, grinning like an idiot. He goes to say something back but stops when he hears an Irish accent from downstairs as the door slams. Louis quickly gets up and both boys make their way downstairs to find Liam, Zayn, and Niall all lazily sprawled out in the living room.
"Oh hey boys, was wondering where you lot were!" Liam shows them a toothy smile before looking back up at the tv.
"All of my stuff is still in Niall's car, I didn't want to bring it all in just to take it back out. I'll bring it out when you start loading up." Zayn says it without letting his eyes leave the screen and Louis nods, plopping down next to him. Harry immediately sits on Louis' lap and cuddles up to him, hoping the moment can last forever.
The boys had their going away party the day before, with all of their families huddled together in Louis' living room. The other boys opted out of staying the night for their own reasons, so Harry and Louis spent the night alone.
The hour passes as the boys spend their last moments together, a heavy blanket of sorrow in the air that they refuse to speak of, as if to not ruin their fun. They all know deep down that even though the older boys are going to be a couple hours away, it will still be a difficult readjustment for all of them.
"Are you boys ready to load up the car? It's about time for you to get headed out." Jay walks through the door, a small smile on her face. Harry sends her a smile of his own as he gets up to hug her, knowing that she's trying not to cry.
All of the boys stand up and start packing up the car. It only takes twenty minutes and Harry considers letting the bags tumble out accidentally so they can have a few more minutes. Or maybe the boys will think it's a sign and choose not to leave. Either way works with him. Instead, he watches as they close the trunk.
He hugs Zayn first, and then holds in his tears as Louis hugs him.
"I love ya Harry. I wasn't kidding about calling you every day. I'll even call you as soon as I get there and give you a room tour." Harry musters up a tiny laugh as he breathes in Louis' scent. He's going to miss it more than anything.
When they pull apart, Harry pulls a box out of his pocket and slowly hands it over to Louis.
"I got this for you. I wanted you to have a part of me, just like I have a part of you in the watch. I hope you like it." Harry shyly smiles as Louis opens it and gasps.
"Oh Harry I love it, put it on for me will you?"
Harry pulls the heart shaped locket out from Louis' hands and clasps it around his neck. He opens the locket and shows Louis the pictures inside of it. On the right side is a picture of him and Harry, the first time they ever hung out together. On the left is a picture of Louis with his mom and the girls at the hospital, the day Phoebe and Daisy were born.
When he closes the locket, Louis rubs it with his thumb and holds it against his chest, smiling wide.
"I'll cherish it forever Harry. Every time I talk to someone new and tell them about you, I'll show them this locket and tell them how special it is. I'll even pass it down the family as an heirloom in the future." Louis hugs him again and smiles into his neck.
Harry, who is now turning furiously red, just nervously laughs and smiles at his best friend. He opens the car door and lets Louis get seated before planting a kiss to his cheek and shutting it. Zayn gets in the passenger seat and Louis drives off with one last wave while Jay and the other boys watch the car go.
Once they are out of sight, Jay wishes the other boys a goodnight and goes inside while Liam, Harry, and Niall all head back to their own houses.
When Harry gets inside, his eyes well up with tears and he lets them fall onto the floor. He shuffles into the living room and Anne wordlessly stands up to pull him into a hug, while his tiny sniffles turn into sobs.
"Oh honey." Harry grips onto her blouse as his sobs grow louder. They echo through the quiet living room and Gemma quietly walks in. She joins the hug, holding onto her brother from behind. Both Anne and Gemma know the real reason why Harry is so upset, but neither of them can decide which of them should say it. Or if they should even say it at all.
"Harry, this is more than Louis and Zayn leaving. Tell us what's wrong." Gemma finally speaks up.
A sob racks through his body and he can only manage to let out a little squeak.
"Louis."
Anne and Gemma helplessly look at each other from above Harrys shoulder, and as soon as Gemma starts rubbing his back, he lets go of the words he's been holding in for what feels like eternity.
"I'm in love with Louis."