"Snowy pooped all over here!" I hugged my knees close to my chest, but the black shit which resembled hard stones came rolling towards me in the cargo area. I scrambled up, clutching the side-gate. "Oh my God, slow this fricking truck! They're like mini-missiles!"
The Viking increased the speed of the truck.
"Sorry about that. You can sit here," Josiah offered, patting the empty space beside him.
As if possessed by some outer, excited spirit, I automatically got up and the truck lurched over a speedbump, causing me to awkwardly fall into Josiah's arms. Bless this beautiful world! I gazed in his chocolate brown eyes and he blinked in bewilderment. This was the best thing to happen in this trip, scratch that, in my entire life.
Before I could enjoy my temporary, rent-free stay in his brawny arms, someone pulled my hair and I winced, getting up.
"Curse you," I muttered under my breath, glaring ferociously at the satisfied lamb which let go of my hair the second I was away from Josiah.
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"I want to pee," I whispered through the shattered glass opening of the cabin of the truck, hoping only the Viking would hear me. "Stop the truck, it's urgent!" He made no movement of halting so I shouted indignantly, "I have to fucking pee so if you don't fucking stop, I'll do it right here like Snowy!"
The truck slowed down and when I turned back, Josiah and the lamb gawked at me.
"Oh, I didn't mean that. I-I won't pee here." I laughed tensely, the painful silence stretching like an infinite elastic band. It snapped when Josiah cleared his throat and I crawled down the truck, bellowing to the Viking, "He wasn't supposed to hear that! It's all because of you!" The Viking shrugged. "Where is the fucking toilet now?"
He stretched his hand, showing the expanse of wild greenery before me.
Tears stung my eyes as I froze. "Are you kidding me?"
"I don't have to. The reality is funny enough," he said with the tiniest smirk, crossing his hands behind his back.
"Fine." I gave up, gritting my teeth. "Just don't mention to him that I went out in the open."
I stomped through the overgrown bushes and finding a large, dry one needing of water, I squatted and pulled down my jeans.
I had a habit of humming to the rhythm of the pee flow and while I was doing that, I had an epiphany. A huge shit was on its way to pop out of my bum. I desperately tried holding it in even though I had tissues in my pocket because shitting out in nature was something that I didn't want in my conscience. It was disturbing, leaving traces of my shit for anyone to see.
Suddenly, a flash blinded my eyes and when I barely recovered from it, I squinted in shock at a grubby boy around six years old who grinned with a camera in his hand.