Another week had passed by and you haven't seen Mirio at all. Instead, you took your time to start letting the people you loved know you weren't going to be always around thanks to your new mission with Endeavor's agency.
Telling All Might about the new internship with Endeavor was easy. He was nothing but enthusiastic and supportive of you trying to do official hero work and get your license early.
Telling Katsuki was hard.
He didn't say much, just kind of sat there in his dorm room quietly as you explained to him that your job would be a secret, you were assigned a work partner, and you would now be reporting to Endeavor. He didn't really ask you any questions and honestly didn't quite acknowledge that you even said anything.
But when you went to leave the room, he grasped your wrist with his gaze locked on the floor.
"How will I know...how will I know if you're stuck somewhere with no one to help you...what if something happens to you like last time?" Your heart broke at the quiet tone of his voice, and so you turned to him to run your fingers through his soft and spikey hair.
"I don't know. I guess that's the risk we take when we choose to be heroes. But I'll do everything I can to make it so you won't worry about me."
"Says the girl that took on All for One and cut his fucking arm off."
"Hey, if I lived against him then I can survive anything."
Katsuki's blood ran cold and it took everything in him to not break your wrist with a panicked iron grip.
"I still get nightmares you know. Seeing you get stabbed like that...how close you were to dying...All Might isn't around to save you anymore."
"You're right. But I don't need All Might. I have you Katsuki. I won't leave you empty-handed. I can't tell you what my mission will be about...but you best believe I'll leave you little bird breadcrumbs to figure it out on your own. Endeavor wants me to deal with a lot of dangerous people, so I want to do what I can to keep you safe too. It'll be okay Kacchan...Endeavor wouldn't put me on a suicide mission."
"You don't know that!" He yelled, startling you. "The asshole abused his own kids to the point one became a villain and you assume that because he wants you to fuck Icyhot that he'll take good care of you?! He's a fucking asshole! How are you supposed to trust him?!"
You were quiet...the room was quiet...but you didn't know how to argue with him. Why did you trust Endeavor so much?
"Endeavor, Mirio, and Mirio's internship agency all think there is something massive going on with villains right now. If there's something I can do to help...to keep you and All Might safe...then I will do it regardless of if I trust Endeavor. I do think he's trying now. I think he realized he had fucked up. You need to give people an opportunity to learn and to change, otherwise, there would be no point in anyone trying to get better. I'm sure there are moments in your life that you wish you acted better...Endeavor deserves that same chance to prove himself." You leaned down to kiss Katsuki on the lips, his scarlet eyes shutting tight. Your own eyes were a bright crimson as cerulean flames engulfed your memory.
"And if not...I'll let Dabi cremate him like he wanted to."
After spending most of the night trying to comfort Katsuki and prepare for the weekend, you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming wave of guilt sweep over you. Katsuki had struggled ever since being captured by the League of Villains. He dreamt about Dabi's threats to 'hurt' you, the moment when you vanished right from his grasp, and seeing you with a blade rammed in your gut right on TV. It was an absolute miracle that you were still alive, let alone in as good of shape as you were. Despite wanting to keep him safe, he had been silently suffering in pain.
And you were going to put yourself in a position that makes him helpless yet again.
The rest of the evening was spent in each other's arms...and you held onto him for dear life just to remind yourself that this was all for him...to protect him...to keep these villains from ever taking him away again.
Aizawa made you really think about who you were...who you wanted to be. You didn't want to be a villain and even as a mercenary all you wanted to do was save people by taking out villains that would never change or learn...people who never wanted to get better.
Serial rapists, murderers, drug launderers, sex traffickers...
The world was a better place because you killed them, but as a result, you felt like a part of your humanity was torn with each death on your hands. Being with Katsuki made you want a future...to love him and be with him always...to have a real family with the Bakugos and All Might...to have a real friendship with class 1-A.
If something goes wrong in this mission... if you were forced to kill yet again and the world found out about it...everything would be lost. Katsuki wouldn't be able to be with you due to your criminal status...you wouldn't be a hero...
This was all too much to think about at seventeen years of age.
I wish...I wish this was so much simpler...to just go to school with Katsuki...to college together and just stick by his side...why am I always cursed to stay in a darkness that never seems to let me go?
Soft snores echoed from Katsuki as he slept by your side, his strong arms wrapped around your torso as he snuggled into you further. You clung onto his shirt like a young animal would its mother...your heart cracking in its cage as your fears circulated your mind endlessly.
All I ever wanted was to be happy.
Now that I finally am...
...it's like the world wants to take it all away.
~~
You stood outside of Endeavor's agency with tired eyes and an exhausting weight on your chest. The tower that you once thought was elegant and beautiful felt more like a tombstone...and you wanted to avoid going to that meeting room with him and his secretaries.
"Want a ride? It's a bit cooler than an elevator." You looked behind you to see Hawks his crimson wings fully exposed as he drank a cola, tossing the empty glass bottle in a nearby recycle bin with extreme precision. He seemed as bright and happy as anything...and a part of you wondered if he even had it in him for a mission like this.
"I mean-"
"Okay! Grab on tight! You look like you need some wind in your face." Without even really asking for permission, he wrapped his arms around your torso as he took off like a jet from off the ground. A scream wanted to throw itself out of your lungs but for some reason, the sound couldn't come out no matter how terrified you were.
"Close your mouth! I'm telling you, swallowing bugs mid-air is the worst!" Hawks chuckled as you quickly shut your lips. He slowed down as he held you high in the sky, the world seeming so small in comparison to your height. People were the sizes of insects, buildings looked like legos...the cerulean sky seemed like a tangible entity you could grasp with two hands.
Here in the Tokyo sky, Hawks glided smoothly in the wind, letting you feel the crisp and clean air untainted by the society below. All of your worries and anxiety remained at ground level...and you were entirely envious of the fact you didn't have wings yourself. What really surprised you about flying was the silence. The hustle and bustle of a major city was entirely muted up here...and you felt like you could let your fears just fall away.
"I found that coming up here always helped clear my head...you looked like you needed it too. I could sense your fear and stress a mile a way." Hawks had a gentle smile on his face that you couldn't see, but you could feel. He glided so effortlessly that it felt like you were floating amongst the clouds.
If this is what heaven feels like...then maybe it isn't so bad...
Golden hues glowed behind the fluffy white clouds...the Sun just an arm's reach away...
After a few more moments, Hawks landed on the sky garden that topped the Endeavor Agency building, rows of flowers of all different colors decorated the rooftop. Feet touched the ground and you suddenly wished you could fly away yet again.
"Thank you Hawks." He patted your shoulder while giving you a slick grin, his windswept blond hair layering behind his ears.
"Well...looks like we're partners now so we gotta look out for each other. Two halves of the same brain." With his response, you couldn't hold back a laugh. It was odd...this complete stranger basically put you on the verge of death...and yet you felt like you could trust him. Hawks was the type of person that kept his secrets close to his chest...and despite your budding trust of him, he has yet to feel trust with you. After all, this was a dangerous world and you could easily stab him in the back. He'd make sure he knew everything about you before he would ever trust you...
...because playing two sides was a treacherous excursion that only leaves pain in its wake...he needed to know that despite the challenge ahead, that you were reliable.
"I never pictured Endeavor as the type to like flowers so much." Your voice pulled Hawks from his thoughts and watched as you delicately caressed the orange and white petals of many of the flowers. You looked so fragile to Hawks, and now he questioned whether Endeavor made the right choice.
"He planted them for his wife. She used to come here when the kids were little to visit him. He makes sure these flowers still bloom in case she ever wants to come back."
Oh, Rei...the heartbreak you must have endured...
...but he's getting better. I'll make sure of it.
"I see...let's go inside."
As long as Endeavor kept moving forward...kept trying to make his mistakes right...you would put your faith in him just as you put your faith in Katsuki. Katsuki was once a bully and still had his moments when he harrassed Midoriya...but you knew he was trying to get better.
To keep walking even if people don't believe you are changing...to keep forward despite adversity...those were the traits of someone you would respect and follow in the great unknown.
~~
Meetings with Endeavor and Hawks continued pretty regularly while your schoolwork was getting harder. Math has become an absolute terror for you and you had no idea how you were going to pass.
"Today we will be discussing polynomial functions and how to find the zeroes of imaginary numbers," Ectoplasm spoke as he started writing on the chalkboard. You turned to Katsuki with an intense panic plastered on your face like a neon sign. He gave you that sharp-toothed smile you loved so much and reached for your hand while the teacher wasn't looking.
"Don't worry, I'll tutor your dumbass."
"Thank you God for Katsuki Bakugo." You placed your palms in a prayer formation with closed eyes and a thankful smile.
"No need to thank me," Katsuki commented with a condescending smirk. You snickered at his response before taking out a notebook to start jotting down what Ectoplasm was teaching. It was so strange to think that just a few months ago, you basically had a third or fourth-grade education with no friends, family, or goals in life aside from revenge. Thanks to two men from Hero HQ assigning you an undercover mission, you not only started to become educated, but you now had a family, friends, and a lifelong partner in crime.
You smiled as you looked down in your notebook that was once Katsuki's after he burned yours after the first day of school. You flipped back to the very first page of it to see that you had a to-do list tucked in that must of fell out from something else you wrote in before you arrived at UA.
To-Do
*Get close and learn the patterns of Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugo, and Shoto Todoroki.
(Biggest troublemakers)
Hah! Ain't that the truth.
*Find the traitor in UA, snuff them out.
If only I knew at the time there were two...
*Use inside intelligence to find the man with hands, and rip his heart out.
You froze in your seat...just staring at that last message.
You knew exactly who that man was now...Tomura Shigaraki of the League of Villains.
How could you have forgotten what you came here for? How could you have forgotten the true target of your rage?
The turmoil inside of you grew thicker as you waged your options. You swore that you would stop killing...but even someone like Stain saw that your pining to be a hero was a fool's errand. Dabi saw it in you...other Mercenaries saw it...Toru saw it...Ochaco saw it...
There was a deep-seated and intense violent tendency that burrowed inside of your heart thanks to the survival instincts that had carried you to this point. To ignore that under the gilded notion that heroism required perfection would simply set yourself up for failure. Aizawa was right, not everyone could be All Might. Not everyone had the privilege to grow up in safety and idolize a rose-colored hero. Some heroes were born and bred in the depths of terror and fear with no choice but to act to survive. Did those people not deserve a hero too? To have someone who grew up knowing nothing but violence and constantly looking over their shoulder?
What does it mean to be a hero anyway?
Who was the one that stated that the hero has to be clean-cut?
Aizawa was right. He was right.
To hold yourself to All Might's standard was ideal...but to punish yourself for doing what you thought was right would never aid you in success. Letting go of the guilt of the people you killed...the pain of not saving your parents...the pressure to be the perfect hero...it was the only way for you to keep moving forward.
Endeavor, Hawks, and Eraserhead were all heroes notarized for their efforts and valiance in the face of evil...but truth be told Endeavor was a man devoured by his fears of ineptitude which reflected upon his own family. Hawks was shrouded in mystery, yet the stench of bloodlust dripped from his claws and his minacious presence was felt by villains across Japan. Eraserhead was once a boy who idealized heroism with the same rose-colored glasses you once wore but learned quickly that sometimes it was the vigilantes that were much more adept at saving the world than a political hero.
You couldn't hold that anger towards yourself anymore. You've learned by now that you can be happy...and sometimes doing the right thing was a dirty choice and not always easy. A street rat like you could be a hero, and you would do it in a way that you could live with and be proud of.
The sound of your pen checking off the first two sentences on the list and drawing a line through the last one was heard by only you. With a quick pace, you rewrote the last item on your checklist.
*Destroy the League of Villains...by any means necessary.
You looked out of the classroom window to see the same bright and burning gold sun that seemed just out of your grasp when you flew with Hawks. With his help, you vowed to yourself that you would devour its flames with an iron grasp that even Icarus would envy.
~~
A/N
Phew! What a rollercoaster! What do you guys think of (y/n)'s development? Let me know how you feel!
Please enjoy this lovely fanart by TiffAnimates06 !! She's so cute! Here are her stats:
Height: 4'10Likes: anything Mitsuki or Katsuki makes, sweet or spicy foodsBlood type: ABBirthday: October 11th
Fun fact, I'm also 4'11"!
If you haven't already, check out my MHA one-shots book and my Jojo's Bizarre Adventure book if you need something to read before next Wednesday!
Happy reading! <3
-v4k