Hunter's pov
I couldn't take it anymore and fell on the grass, finally letting out what's been killing me all my life.
"I killed my brother."
I brought my knees up and wrapped my arms around it burring my face between my crossed arms. I cried and cried without a second to breath. What I caused my family to go through and still suffer kills me everyday.
Just thinking about everything makes me hate myself so I'm sure that if Vincent finds out everything he won't want to be close to me. He'll stay away and I'll lose all my friends. But it's what I deserve.
I didn't hear or feel Vincent and I thought that maybe he left. I wouldn't blame him though.
I took a deep breath looking up and that's when I felt Vince wrap his arms around me and pull me onto his lap.
"Hunter don't cry." I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my chin on his shoulder.
"Vincent." I breath out. "I killed him. I caused it, I caused everything."
Vincent pulled me even closer and rubbed my back. "Hunter don't say that. Why don't you tell me what happened."
"No, you'll hate me. You'll leave me and I can't live without you Vincent, please don't leave me." I started crying all over again and buried my face further in his chest.
"Hunter please don't cry. I promise you with all my heart that I will never hate you and I will never leave you. You're stuck with me for life. Don't even think that I'm going to blame you or think any different of you. And listen to me." He lifted my face and held my cheeks in his big warm hands rubbing away my tears. "You were not even three years old. Please Hunter, please don't blame yourself."
I pushed his hands away and stood up moving a few steps back. "Then who is to blame huh? Who is responsible for putting a healthy, happy ten year old boy in a grave. Who is responsible for making my mum and dad go visit their oldest son in the graveyard? Who is to blame for making my parents cry every time they look at his picture or it's his birthday. Who is to blame for depriving Heather of an older brother to protect her but instead she's stuck with a useless blind brother who's responsible for everything. I'm the cause of it all." My voice echoed as I screamed, the sound of my voice vibrating through my chest. I felt Vincent's hand on my shoulder and pushed it off before continuing. He had to know that it was my fault. It was all my fault.
"It doesn't matter how old I was, I ruined everything. It's easy for you to say that it's not my fault, just like how my parents say it was an accident, that I'm not to blame, that I was small. But Vincent no matter what anyone says, I killed my brother, I killed Andrew." Saying his name after so many years crushed my heart into billions of pieces and melted it at the same time.
"Heather doesn't hate me, she's just angry with me. But you have to understand her point of view." I took a deep breath calming down a little.
"Than tell me Hunt." I nodded agreeing and he took my hand and started pulling me somewhere. Just then his phone started ringing. It cut after three rings. "Hunter give me your phone."
"Why, wasn't your phone ringing?"
"Yeah but whoever needs to call us can do it later. I'm going to leave our phones here and take you to sit on the bleachers and we'll come back to get them." I gave him my phone and soon he was leading me once again.
Once we were sitting on the fourth level he started talking again. "Hunter are you ready to talk about it?"
I nodded. "I want to let it all out. Make you understand that Heather is not an evil sister. You need to know that her anger toward me is justified. The way she acts all bossy and in charge is the only way because she has no one to protect her. I took that away from her. My dad loves me but loves Heather more because she's the ideal son he lost because of me. My mum is protective of me and I've become her life only because she lost her first child because of me and she doesn't want to lose me because of my blindness and she thinks I'm going to end my life because of the guilt. And to tell you the truth I have considered it. I have thought of walking onto a busy road and ending my life under a car. Because that's where it all started. With a car. And my persistence. People don't normally remember anything from when they're around three years old but the reason why Heather and I remember is because we had nightmares for a very long time and we still do. But when we turned ten my parents explained to us properly what happened and what all the nightmares mean and it was then that Heather stopped talking to me. It was then that I noticed my mum and dad weren't as happy as they pretended to be. How they were with me and still are is not natural. It's not real. It's all covered by a mask. Because I changed everything and then everything changed because of me."
"One day Heather and I were eating lunch and Heather was pouring water for me while telling me about how her friend got a rose on valentines day the week before from a twelve year old boy who liked her and how she wished a boy would give her a rose even if he was ten years old like us. As we spoke we heard mum come home and as she past us and rushed to her room we realized that she was crying. Dad was with her and he called her name telling her to stop but she didn't until I heard her room door slam close. Heather asked dad what happened and why mum was crying but dad himself wasn't in the condition to answer our questions. That evening when mum and dad both didn't come down to make dinner Heather took me to their room to see if they were okay."
"Heather knocked on their bedroom door and dad opened telling us to come in and he led me to his bed. We sat down and Heather asked them why they were so upset. At first they were denying it saying that they were just tired and stressed but Heather being the smart girl that she is knew it was something else and asked mum if she was crying because Andy left us. Mum bursting into fresh tears confirmed that the cause of their tears were because of Andrew and at that very moment I knew things would change. Heather asked dad to tell her exactly why Andy wasn't with us anymore and the more he explained the more I hated myself. I realized how much I caused when dad told us mum was crying because it was Andy's birthday and she went out shopping so she could distract herself but seeing one toy that Andy used to like made her break down. I wanted my life to end the moment dad said that I insisted I want to sit on his lap as he drove us to dinner a week before I turned three and because I stood up on his lap he didn't see the truck and knocked into it which caused his one son to die and other son to go blind. I felt distant from my family the moment I asked Heather to take me to my room and she left mum and dad's room without a word to me. I knew I was to blame every second after that when I heard mum cry and I heard dad get closer to Heather and I didn't hear Heather say a word to me again. It all changed after that. The only thing that didn't change was that Andy was still gone and I was still blind." I finally stopped and looked in Vincent's direction but he remained unmoved and silent. I breathed in the cold air and hugged myself as a wind passed us. I didn't have the strength to cry nor the need to break down. I actually felt a little lighter after saying everything in my mind and heart. After a few minutes I put my hand out and touched what I think was Vincent's arm and I felt him jump.
I heard him breath out and pull in much needed air. He than held my face in his hands that still remained warm even in the cold. "Hunter if I hear you blame yourself one more time, than I'm definitely not going to talk to you again. I promise you Hunter. Don't think I'm joking. If you were to blame than I would have told you. If it was your fault I would have agreed with you but it isn't Hunter. You trust me right? You know that in these few months we know each other we've become so close that you mean the world to me. Every minute of every day I only think of you. If you're okay, if you need anything, if you've eaten. I don't know how I was living so long not knowing you. My life feels complete with you. Honestly Hunter, you brought a positive change to all of us at school. If you only know how amazing you are and how amazing it feels to be around you you'll understand the true value of your life. You just have to walk in a room and everyone wants to smile and be more kind. I know that what you and your family went through was hard and it still is but I'm telling you Hunter and you better believe me just like how you believed me when I told you about a boy liking a boy, it was an accident. I know it won't be easy to accept that it's not your fault but I will make you accept it. I will make you understand that it was no ones fault. No ones Hunter." He pulled me close to him and I rested my head on his shoulder. We remained like that until Vince told me he's going to get our phones so he can call my mum and apologize for not bringing me home yet. He returned while talking to someone and I zoned out not hearing a word he spoke. He made another call before sitting back next to me and pulling me once again in his arms. We remained like that until Finn and Brian found us.
It was ten pm and the four of us were sitting in a coffee shop that would be closing at eleven. None of us spoke a word with only Finn telling the waiter to get us all coffee and brownies.
Why we weren't going home was a mystery. But Brian did insist that this coffee shop made the best brownies and he was craving it. But I had a feeling it was not about the brownies and Finn agreeing with him made it all more suspicious. The football player usually disagrees with everything Brian says. What made it even more unbelievable was that they came in the same car to find us and neither of them argued when Vince said he's driving me to the coffee shop and sat next to me in our booth.
Finally Vincent broke the trance we were all falling in with all the caffeine fumes. "Brian I'm sorry. Please stop looking at me like you want to grind me in that coffee grinder you keep looking at. I know that I'm the most shitty boyfriend to ever exist but I'm really sorry. And I promise I'll make it up to you. With a proper meeting the parents and everything. It is safe to meet them right? What did they say?"
"Nothing." Brian replied and I wondered what they were talking about. "I left before they could say anything. I don't know what their reaction is going to be but it will probably be good because Finn did one hell of a good job I must say. I'm forever grateful to him. You have the best best friend ever and I'll forgive you because you sent your best man to do the job and I can see that Hunter needed you."
I looked down when he said that and I felt their eyes on me. Our food came at that moment and I wanted to hug the waiter and tell him thanks for saving me.
"Hunter here give it to me." Finn said, taking the sugar sachet from my hand when he saw I was struggling to open it.
"It's too late for my brain to function." I laughed finding my fork and eating my brownie which really was devine.
When we were the last people in the cafe we were told to make quick and leave because they want to close and Vincent got angry and insisted on seeing the manager who apparently already left and we landed up being thrown out with a warning never to come back.
"Vince seriously?" Finn sighed as we leaned against our cars still parked in front of the coffee shop after it was closed and the staff all left.
"We were customers Finn, they can't ask us to leave. We were almost done anyway and it was ten fifty not even eleven. I'm going to complain to management and they'll all lose their jobs. They don't know who I am." Vince still sounded angry and no one could make him change his mind.
After hanging out in the deserted parking lot for a while we left with Finn taking Brian home and Vince taking me home and after standing on my doorstep for quite a while in the cold I finally managed to convince Vincent that I'm fine and I'll be fine for the rest of the weekend and I'll meet him on Monday.