Chapter Nineteen: Welcome to the Truth
"you're so bad for my health
but i just can't help myself
i'm so stupid for you,
~ tate mcrae
┉
M O N I C A
"Have a great evening!" I grinned widely, waving goodbye to the family of six who had been sitting in my section.
"Bye!" The sweet little girl squealed, holding her dad's hand as they walked out of the diner.
I waited until they all left before cleaning up the surface of their table. They piled all their plates together, so the clean up didn't take long before I walked behind the counter.
Once the dirty dishes were in the kitchen, I stepped out, only to notice Sophie standing on the other side of the bar, narrowing her eyes on me. She'd been looking at me as if I was hiding a big secret the whole day, which was understandable.
Because in a way, I was.
It was Monday now. Liam and I slept together yesterday, but since I was supposed to work, I ended up calling in sick, so Liam and I could spend the day together. Of course I didn't tell Sophie this, which only got her more curious.
Our lunch rush had finally come to an end, it being five in evening now. So, with our tables almost empty, she took her time scrutinizing me.
"Stop being so chirpy," Sophie demanded, planting her hands on the table in front of her. Her glaring eyes roamed around my body, and I knew then that she was eyeing my aura. "It's weird."
"Why are you so negative, Soph?" I asked, raising my eyebrows in a teasing manner. "Someone got your panties in a twist, huh?"
She gaped, looking to the side. "What?" She said, high pitched. "No, of course not."
Her response only made me laugh. "I don't have to read your aura to know you're lying," I smirked, leaning against the wall.
"You can't tell if someone's lying by looking at their aura," she glared, pursing her lips. "You can tell if they're nervous, and then you look at their body language."
I eyed her posture and snorted unladylike, which only made her glare harder. "Stop changing the subject," she hissed before moving to the side, so she could step through the swinging doors.
She stood in front of me moments later, brows raised. "You almost never take a day off. Then you call in and say you're sick, but you look perfectly fine to me," she explained, her eyes never leaving mine.
I made sure to keep my expression blank, so she couldn't read through me. "Twenty-four hour flu, I told you this," I said slowly.
"Ha!" She laughed humorlessly at that idea, throwing some of her braids over her shoulder. "You can lie to me, Mon, but your aura can't."
That statement got my heart pounding. "Well my aura can suck my dick," I chirped again, smiling sweetly once more before walking around her.
"Monica Kelly! You... you... you better tell me what happened!" She nearly shouted, bringing some of our customer's attention to us.
I ignored her, stepping out from the swinging doors. Just as I was stepping to the centre of the diner, I heard the door chime open.
My teeth clung onto my lower lip to control my smile when I saw Liam standing by the front door, a small smirk on his lips as he watched me.
When I turned to Sophie, who was still standing behind the counter, her wide eyes were looking between Liam and I several times before settling her gaze on me seconds later. "You—"
"I'm taking my lunch break," I said, not giving her a chance to say anything before walking down the hall by the back of the diner—the hall that was also closest to Liam's table.
I heard her cussing behind me, and I ended up grinning the rest of the way to the employees bathroom.
I leaned against the white, double sink vanity, and within seconds, the door was thrown open, bringing me to lock eyes with Liam. "Hey, Bangs," he muttered just as I crossed the distance, pressing my lips to his.
He groaned against my mouth, and I faintly heard him close and lock the door. "Hey, Trip," I mumbled against him, only to laugh as he hoisted me up.
Without thought, I wrapped my legs around his waist the same moment he pressed my back against the cool door. A gruntled moan left me as he massaged my tongue with his, rubbing himself against my core. Since my dress rose, the only material covering me was my panties.
He bit my lower lip gently before pulling away, only to kiss below my jaw. "How's your day been?" He muttered against my neck.
I chuckled breathlessly, throwing his baseball cap to the vanity before lacing my fingers through his hair. "Great."
"Good," he mumbled, moving away from my neck before pecking my lips. When he pulled back, he smiled softly, rubbing his hands up and down my waist. "You look beautiful," he muttered, looking at my piss stained uniform.
"I look like a dog p—" I began, but he brought his lips back to mine, silencing me.
I moaned against him, arching my back off the door. My arms wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer to me as he lowered a hand to cup my ass. "Fuck," he groaned against my mouth before pulling away, only to drop his forehead on mine.
Both of us matched our breathing, surrounding ourselves in comfortable silence until I spoke up moments later. "I'm going to a club tomorrow with Sophie and some other people, you want to come?" I asked, feeling shivers as his hand moved under my dress to caress my warm skin.
"For your birthday?" He asked, pulling away slightly. When he noticed my surprised expression, he smirked. "You really thought I didn't know? Come on, Bangs."
"When's your birthday?" I asked, realizing in the months that I'd known him, I never asked the question.
He stiffened against me, making me frown. "Valentine's day," he admitted gently as he looked at where our bodies were joined.
"Cute," I grinned, wanting to lighten the mood. He must have sensed it because when he looked up, his eyes softened when they met mine.
"You're cute," he smirked, and I tightened my legs around his waist.
"Take that back, Trip," I said warningly, making his smirk widen before he pushed me further against the door.
His lips brushed against mine. "Make me," he whispered with amusement.
I gasped dramatically, tugging his hair with both my hands. "I will," I stated confidently, making him laugh.
But just as he leaned down to press his mouth against mine, there was a knock on the other side of the door. "Monica?" I heard Billy's shy voice. "Sophie asked me to find you. I think she needs you for something."
"Fucking hell," Liam groaned silently, dropping his forehead on my shoulder.
I chuckled before slowly unwrapping myself from him. The loss of his heat made me frown, but I continued to move, giving him his hat before pushing him away from the door.
Once he was in one of the two stalls, I opened the door, my face morphed in a cringe while I pressed a hand on my stomach. "Okay," I breathed out when my eyes met Billy's wide ones.
"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, and I sucked in a breath to emphasize my lie.
"Just some lady problems," I said vaguely, but enough to get his eyes flash with understanding. "Come on, let's go," I tightly smiled, forcing him to leave the hall with me, so Liam could leave without an audience.
He did just so, but as we walked behind the counter, he continued to ask if there was anything he could do to help. He even offered to buy me chocolate.
"I'm okay, Billy," I told him just as I spotted Sophie standing on the opposite side of me. Her eyes were narrowed again, and I sighed before turning to Billy.
I gave him a sweet smile as I dropped a hand on his shoulder. "Go, I'll go to my tables in a minute."
He followed my recommendation, but I waited until he was standing on the other side of the counter before removing the distance between Sophie and me. "Just ask your questions," I deadpanned, staring at her with annoyance because I knew she had several.
Her expression brightened instantly as she straightened her shoulders. "Okay, are you guys a thing? When did this start? How? Does he love you? Is he finally over Liz?"
I sucked in an unintentional breath when I heard her last question. "I don't... I don't know," I admitted, looking over my shoulder. Liam sat in the same booth he always did, typing something on his phone aggressively.
Sophie hesitated with her next question. "Did he tell you why he always sits in that booth?" She carefully asked.
Slowly, I glanced back to her, smiling warily. "I never asked," I admitted, biting my lower lip. "I guess because of Liz, maybe."
Her eyes flashed with some emotion, watching as my expression continued to change. "I'll ask," I confessed out loud without thought, but too determined to back down now, I spun on my heel and walked out from behind the counter.
As if he felt me coming over, Liam lifted his head and met my gaze. At first, he smiled softly, but when he read something off my face, he sobered up, watching as I slid into the seat across from him. "What's going on, Bangs?" He asked, lacing his fingers on top of the table.
I swallowed before clearing my throat. "I know this is off topic and whatever but..." I stopped when I focused onto his eyes, which were narrowed with worry.
"What's going on?" He asked, dropping a hand on top of mine—which I didn't realize was on the table as well, gripping its edge. When his warm, large hand landed on top of mine, I felt my hold on it loosening.
"Why this booth?" I asked, ripping off the bandage, meeting his gaze head on. His eyes widened slightly, so I continued. "I mean, why do you sit here, only here?"
It was a few moments later when his facade cracked and his head dropped, so his focus was on his lap. When he began to shake his head with a small laugh, I pressed my back against the seat.
"It was our booth," he admitted with a chuckle, looking back to me. "We drank milkshakes here around midnight."
I knew that his answer was related to Liz, but I couldn't help but feel upset at the thought that I'd been sitting in their booth. "That's cute," I forced a smile. "Hope she had better taste in milkshakes than you."
His eyes narrowed on me, probably reading through my defence mechanism. I sucked in a breath moments later when I watched him look around the diner before moving to the other side, near the door where most of the sun hit in the day.
I laughed before strolling to him. "How did you know this was my section?" I asked with amusement, standing by the edge of the table.
He smirked, and I noticed his hand moving under the table before his fingers brushed against my knee. "I'm offended that you think I don't watch you, Bangs," he muttered, his voice deep.
My heart sped in my chest, but I made sure to keep my expression neutral when I spoke up next. "Uh-huh, sounds like what a serial killer would do."
He let out a loud laugh, catching some people's attention as he shook his head. "Your obsession for serial killers is unmatched, baby."
"Is this your way of saying I'm obsessed with you?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow to make sure he didn't read through me. The word baby rang through my ears, and I bit back a smile.
He smirked again, his hand lifting to my upper thigh. My legs clenched at the feeling, not looking away from his now darkening gaze. "Can I have that PB milkshake?" He muttered, continuing to caress my skin.
"Sure," I cleared my throat, trying to seem unaffected. "You've finally accepted peanut butter is the ultimate flavour? Finally."
Just as I was turning away, he suddenly reached forward, gripping my hand before spinning me toward him. Before I could focus on what was happening, he planted his lips on mine, kissing me hard before moving away, breathless. "It's not the ultimate flavour, Bangs," he muttered against my lips before pulling away.
I avoided his eyes this time, blushing as I walked behind the counter to make his drink.
I think I knew what kind of flavour he was talking about.
┉
For the first time this month, I finally opened up my email, only to tense at the sight when the screen loaded.
I knew letters from colleges were awaiting me, explaining whether or not I got accepted for my masters. But when I read the names of each email, reminding me of the schools I applied to months before, everything felt more real than before.
I would be leaving in a few months. In January, I'd be in a different state, far from here.
In June, that would have sounded like the best thing ever. Hell, maybe in July and a bit of August, too.
But with it getting closer to October, the more different my feelings were.
After taking a breath, I leaned back against my bed, staring at my ceiling blankly. At the moment, I cussed out Darius and the damn water boiler.
At six, Darius closed the diner for the day, explaining some issues happening with the water boiler. He suggested that he wasn't sure if he'd open Mel's tomorrow before we all left. I was home at seven, now, and I hated it.
"Fuck this," I muttered, standing up from my bed, trying to figure out what to do productively. I could have gone to Liam's, but I knew he'd probably be working. Sophie also ended up going to her shop, opening early for the day.
After a few moments, I walked to my closet and began to organize my spray paint before dealing with the stencils I made with my cricut. But in less than twenty minutes, I finished, and I didn't know what else to do with my time.
So, I walked back to my computer, plopping myself on the mattress, so I was sitting by the edge of the bed before resting it on my lap.
Hesitantly, I clicked on the first email, but just as the screen opened up, someone knocked on my front door, startling me. "Monica?" I heard mom's mumbled voice from behind the door.
When I didn't respond, she cracked the door open. "Hi," she breathed out, looking anxious before slowly stepping in.
"Did I say come in?" I asked blankly, watching as she cringed, moving so she was standing in front of me a moment later.
"Sorry, I just... I," she stumbled on her words, and I lowered the screen of my computer before sliding it off my lap. When I stood up from my spot, raising my brows expectedly, she swallowed nervously. "Don't be mad at me," she cried out.
My brows furrowed at her plead, but before I could ask for more, she lowered her head, walking around me. I spun on my heel, watching as she fiddled with her fingers, now sitting by the edge of my bed.
"You think whatever you have to tell me is worse than how I already feel?" I quirked a brow, standing in front of her as I crossed my arms. "Go ahead."
She cleared her throat, not looking away from her lap as her shaky hands laced together. "I... I called up Robin," she whispered, making my brows furrow. The name sounded familiar, but I wasn't sure from where.
When I didn't respond right away, she glanced up, noticing my confusion. "Robin is Larry's—"
"Daughter," I finished for her, staring at her wide eyed. It took me a few moments until I found my voice. "Why would you call Sniper's best friends daughter?" I asked slowly.
The moment I saw her eyes began to water, I knew what her answer would be. "Because Larry wouldn't give me anything," she began to cry, stopping my heart.
"You took again?" I asked, not realizing how broken I felt by the news.
She shook her head quickly, lowering her head once. "No, no no no," she rushed out in a whisper before focusing on me again. "I... I was going to. I needed to."
"You don't need it, Fiona," I spat out. "You preach wanting to be better, but you don't try!"
"Because no one lets me!" She cried out, tears streaming down her face. "You don't know how it's been, Monica. Everywhere I turn, someone's looking at me, whispering. Sometimes they just come up and badmouth me."
As she began to sob, my heart clenched. "They said things about your father, and I..." Her voice cracked before her red eyes met mine. "And you. You won't forgive me."
"How do you think I can?" I asked her in disbelief. "You disregarded me as your daughter way before I lost seeing you as my mother."
"And I'm sorry," she cried out, using the palms of her hands to wipe her tearstained cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Nica—"
"Don't call me that," I warned her, pointing a finger in her direction. "You lost that right the moment you took your first blow."
I watched as she cried to herself, and I hated how much the sight pained me. "Sean wanted to call you Nicole, just so he could call you Nic," she recalled out loud, laughing to herself. "But I loved Monica, and when I offered we call you Nica, he loved it so much better."
"Just stop," I choked out, looking to the window. The need to escape was strong now.
Neither of us spoke for the next few moments, but when I heard the mattress squeak, I finally looked toward mom, only to see her standing across from me. "I met Robin outside, and she was with a few of Sniper's older guys," she said, reminding me of what she mentioned before.
My eyes sharpened, glad the pain I felt before vanished. "Before I got... the stuff, I heard them talking," she released a shaky breath. "I heard your name."
I said nothing, holding in my breath as I waited for her to continue. "They were talking about you. Why were they talking about you?" She rushed out, staring at me with pure fear.
"How do you know it wasn't another Monica?" I asked defensively.
"They said our last name," she whispered hoarsely, making me suck in a breath.
I began to pace, feeling tingles of fear. "Unbelievable," I whispered.
What if someone wanted to finish Sniper's unfinished business? Would someone come from me? Why has so many dealers been around recently? I didn't understand anything.
"You're not getting into that, right?" She asked hesitantly, making me stop moving as I glared in her direction.
Slowly, she sat on my bed, avoiding my gaze. "No, Fiona. I won't be like you," I said bitterly, making her drop her head with embarrassment.
When I turned away from her, I looked back outside, both of us now surrounding ourselves in silence. I wanted to leave, now. The urge to run away was increasing, but before I could attempt to move toward the door, I heard her speak up again.
"These schools are far away," she breathed out.
My body spun in her direction, noticing how my laptop was fully open, allowing her to read through the emails.
"What are you doing?" I hissed, reaching forward to snap my computer shut. "It isn't any of your concern."
I stood upright, laptop in hand before placing it on my desk. When I focused back to her, I froze, seeing the sincerity in her gaze. "No matter what you say or believe, you will always be my concern."
At first, I couldn't find my voice. "Bullshit," I choked out after a few seconds, not waiting for her reply before grabbing my phone and storming out of my room.
When I was out of the house, I released a breath of air, feeling some of the tension on my shoulders loosen.
While walking in the direction of town, I settled on the idea of just crashing Sophie's workplace. But after stepping on the street where Mel's sat, I noticed the floral shop and found myself walking in its direction.
The second I stepped inside, cold air brushed against my skin. "Monica!" The familiar voice grinned when my eyes met her brown ones. "I was just about to close up, but I'll stay open longer for you."
"You don't have to—"
Anastasia waved her hand in the air, walking around the table as she made her way to me. She was dressed in a black skirt and tee-shirt, I noticed just before she stood in front of me, her cornflower blonde hair up in a short ponytail.
"Don't be ridiculous!" She said, grinning as she dropped her hands on her hips. "I've missed you here, darling." she smiled sadly, making me match her expression.
"Ana, I was here last week," I reminded her softly. I'd brought the both of us some coffee before I went to Mel's hours later.
Still, she frowned. "Pozhaluysta," she tsked. Being around her and Liam this long, I knew that meant please. "That is like forever, darling."
"You're right, I'm sorry," I smiled sadly, which only made her grin.
"Come, I brought more flowers yesterday," she said quickly with excitement as she ushered me to the walk in freezer.
My feet automatically glided to where all the tulips stood proudly, making me smile despite the pain I felt in my chest. "Beautiful, da?"
I nodded softly, lifting up the red tulip with white edging. "Yeah," I mumbled before looking to the rest of the flowers.
Anastasia silently moved so she was standing next to me. In the corner of my eye, I noticed her watching me warily.
"Darling," she began, and I lifted my head up fully to see her staring at me apprehensively. "May I ask... pochemu etot?" She said, clearing her throat before rephrasing in English. "Why this flower, hm?"
I found myself smiling sadly as I lifted the flower up, so it was between the both of us. "I used to go to a tulip field with my parents before my dad died. I never went after that," I admitted out loud, surprising myself.
Anastasia stared at me with sympathy, pressing a palm to her chest. "Oh my... here," she rushed, pulling two more from the bucket. "Take. I grow plenty at home," she said, her accent thickening.
The emotion in her voice was strong, and I found myself reaching forward for the flowers. "Thank you," I whispered.
She sighed, throwing her arms around me. "Oh, of course, darling. Anything for you," she whispered next to my ear, her arms still around me.
And slowly, I did the same to her, closing my eyes with comfort.
┉
I laughed loudly, watching as Karen hid Angie's glasses.
"You fucking—Karen, I'm gonna kill you!" She shouted, yelling in the opposite direction Karen stood. "I'm tipsy and blind as a bat. It's like you're asking me to die!" She said dramatically, making us all laugh louder.
Once Karen sobered up, she placed the thick, black rimmed glasses back on Angie, who stood still. In seconds, her upturned dark brown eyes were narrowed on Karen before she slapped her shoulder. "Cunt!"
"She's a Karen," Sophie smirked condescendingly, which instantly made Karen spew obscenities to her.
Maddie watched on the side with an amused smile, saying nothing as her fingers continued to brush through her champagne coloured hair—which looked darker in our current setting.
Meanwhile, I felt Liam drop a hand on the curve of my hip, making me smile before sipping my drink.
It was currently a day later—also my twenty-second birthday. Sophie brought all the girls with us to the club to celebrate, and she was pleasantly surprised when I told her that Liam would be joining. From Karen, she said that she would be buying my drinks for the night, while Maddie provided me with a basket of snacks—some that I hadn't tried yet, but knew that Liam would love to eat with me.
Angie bought me a makeup pallet with colours that I often used, along with some bold ones as well. And Sophie... well, she gave me a Ouija board and stated we would be releasing spirits on Halloween.
In the Uber to Dizzy's, Liam mumbled that my gift wasn't ready yet, but since I wasn't expecting anything from him anyways, I didn't mind at all.
"I hate you," Angie glared at everyone before settling her gaze on Karen. "You're a bitch."
Karen smirked, crossing her arms over her dark purple, bodycon dress. The colour itself complimented her hazelnut skin perfectly, and I watched as she flipped her straight black hair over her shoulder. "Payback for last week," she shouted over the music.
When I looked back to Angie, I noticed her tan skin paling. "I said sorry about that!" She hissed, clenching her fists.
"I don't care," she said stubbornly before smirking again. "We're even."
I laughed just as I felt Liam's hand beginning to caress my neck, moments before moving my espresso brown hair behind my shoulder. "Wanna dance?" He mumbled next to my ear, his hot breath making me shiver.
As I turned to him, I nodded, making his eyes smile.
He guided me to where most people were dancing before tugging me against his chest. I was left breathless by the impact, but he only smiled before swaying us lazily. "How you doing, Bangs?" He muttered, lowering his hands so they were near my butt.
"Little tipsy and a little something else," I admitted without caution, watching as his eyes darkened.
"Feelin' the same, Bangs," he mumbled as he lowered his head to my lips. But before he could kiss me, I bit back a grin and spun around so my back was to him.
Within seconds, I was rubbing my rear on his hardening length, causing him to tighten his hold on my hips. "Fucking hell," he laughed breathlessly, pressing himself further against me.
We danced together for what felt like minutes before he spun me around, planting his lips on mine.
I sucked in a breath, surprised by his invasion but welcoming it wholeheartedly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Fuck," he groaned against my mouth after a soft moan left me.
When he dropped his forehead on mine, arms wrapped around my waist, I closed my eyes. "You want to come to my parents house this Friday?" He suddenly asked me, making me almost smack my head hard against his as I moved back.
"What?" I asked, my hands gripping his shoulder while my heart beat sped.
He looked so nervous that it was adorable—although his attire made him look completely man, with dark jeans and a fitted, button up shirt. With the sleeves rolled up, he looked too sexy for his own good.
"My parents house... it's their anniversary and my mom knows I'm seeing someone—"
"She doesn't know that we're..."
He laughed, bringing me closer against him. "No."
I bit my lower lip when I recalled all the times I visited her, remembering how she hinted always being there to talk.
"So, do you want to come with me?" He asked, looking away, embarrassed.
"Yeah," I surprised myself by saying it so easily. The idea would have made me shit myself before. "I'd love to."
"Good," he let out a relieved breath of air before chuckling. "Wait until you see how we celebrate New Years. As a hint, it involves gallons of vodka and some pickles. Maybe with you there, my mama won't make plov."
By the end of his statement, I stiffened painfully. He realized that soon after because when he lowered his head, so our eyes could meet, he watched me with worry. "What?"
"New Years?" I hesitated to say, making him instantly back away.
"Do you... do you not want to—"
"No!" I didn't let him finish. "It's just that... I'm going to take my masters, and I'm not going to take it in Wyoming."
His upset gaze instantly changed, watching me without emotion. "I have to," I breathed out, but when he continued to stare at me like he used to, a shaky breath left me. "For my dad. For myself."
When he still didn't say anything, my expression cracked. "Trip, come on," I breathed out, stepping closer.
He stepped back in response, making my heart tighten. "When?" Was the first thing he said. "When are you leaving?"
I cleared my throat and tightened my lips as I avoided his eyes. "After Christmas," I admitted slowly.
He didn't say anything, making me close my eyes with a sigh. But as I looked up moments later, I noticed a flash of something yellow over his shoulder.
My eyes focused close to where the entrance of the lounge-club was, only to stiffen when I met Meredith's eyes through the bodies dancing between us.
She wore a yellow top and jeans, covering almost every inch of her body, as always.
The urge to go somewhere, anywhere, was strong, despite being slightly intoxicated. So, when I turned back to Liam, I cupped his cheek and smiled softly. "We can talk about this when we're more sober, okay?" I said, waiting until he forced a smile before continuing. "I need to head to the bathroom."
Without waiting for his reply, I stepped back, removing my hand from his check before zig-zagging through the people around me. Minutes passed before I finally stepped into the bathroom, where there were only a few girls in.
I listened as one girl hyped up another, but as I was walking to the back of the bathroom, I felt a hand grip my wrist, stopping me in my place.
When I turned around, an instant glare on my eyes, I tensed up when I saw that it was Meredith standing across from me, face completely bare of makeup and bags under her eyes. "Happy Birthday, babe," she whispered, only for her voice to crack halfway.
I didn't respond, attempting to get her to release her hold on me. But she didn't give in, reminding me of all the classes she took during college to advance her strength.
"What do you want, Meredith?" I asked, my tone filled with enough venom to make her flinch. "How's Xavier? Isn't he the greatest human being?" I chirped, clenching my jaw.
Her eyes closed at the sound of his name, her hold on me loosening but not enough for me to walk away. "Mon—"
"Mer—"
Before I could taunt her like the bitch I was, she tugged me to the last stall on the left, locking us both inside moments later. "What the hell are you doing?" I hissed just as she pushed me down, so I was sitting on the closed toilet seat.
"Be quiet," she hissed, reminding me of the friend I grew up with. Her backbone was showing as she glared at me, leaning against the stall door in the process. "Xavier was warning me, okay? But I'm tired of it. I don't care what happens to me."
My heart stopped, watching her with caution. "Warning you about what?"
In that moment, her eyes softened, looking pained before she focused on her feet. "Warning me not to talk to you," she breathed out.
"Why?" I hesitated to ask.
She forced a smile when our eyes met again, as if it would lighten her response. "You stole drugs, babe," she whispered, making me stiffen. "And... bad people want it back."
"And who are these bad people?" I asked, watching her widen her eyes, with fear. "Meredith?"
She looked over my shoulder as she released a shaky breath. "Kevin," she admitted.
Neither of us spoke until after a few seconds, I laughed loudly, standing up from my spot. "Kevin? Yay-high Kevin?" I said, lifting my hand about three inches above me. "You're telling me Kevin's a drug dealer."
"He's the seller," she whispered, fear in her eyes.
That stopped my response until another laugh left me—this one slightly hesitate. "Kevin?" I couldn't believe it. "The same Kevin you fucked behind my back, while we were dating?"
She froze, but instead of defending herself, she broke down in front of me, waves of tears slipping down her cheeks.
I didn't know what to do. "Mer," I whispered, using her nickname. "What..."
I couldn't finish, watching as she sniffed loudly before her red eyes met mine, still watery from her outburst. "I... Monica," she whispered hoarsely. "It wasn't like that."
"What was it like?"
She tried to smile, but it ended up looking like a grimace. "The day we hosted the after-grad party... a bunch of us smoked, and Kevin... he said he got a new stash," she whispered, swallowing slowly. "We took some, and them some more... we were drunk and high."
I didn't say anything, letting her continue. "He asked if he could hide a gift for you in my room, but when he put it in my closet, he... he..." she choked on a sob.
tw/talking about sexual abuse and rape
I couldn't breathe, watching her break down in front of me. "I was so high and so drunk, I didn't realize what was happening, everything was moving so quickly," she whispered, closing her eyes. "He said I wanted it. I was wet, so I must have wanted it."
A cold, empty laugh left her, but when she gasped out for air, my heart broke. "He was controlling my body, and he made me think I wanted it, but I didn't. I said no, but he didn't listen," she began to sob.
My body moved on its own, wrapping my arms tightly around her, holding her close as she sobbed into my shoulder.
All I could do was comfort her with my touch and voice, all while feeling awful in my chest.
┉
I always hate talking about these
subjects because I hate to imagine
that women (and men) go through
something so awful
If anything has happened to you,
please speak up and know that
your voice will be heard, and there
are people who love you
and to slip out of that
topic.... hi lovelies <3
I hope you had an amazing
weekend and I'll see you on
Friday! stay cute babes
(Nica = Knee-ka)