Dean and Castiel are sitting on the couch together, doing a grand total of absolutely nothing. Castiel is snuggled against him, his feet curled up on the couch, and Dean is holding him close, which may sound cute, but it's not very entertaining.
"Hey, Cas?" Dean says after a while.
"Mm?"
"Do you wanna go out?"
Castiel's brows draw together. "Go out?" They're already dating. Hell, they were dating for so long, they've already been engaged for going on two years. What is Dean on?
"Yeah, go out," he says. "Go get dinner or something."
"Oh." Castiel thinks about that for a moment. "We could order a pizza."
"Well, we could," Dean says. "Or we could actually go out. We could even order a pizza and eat it at the pizza place."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I feel like we never do anything," Dean says. "I just want to have a low-key date night to shake it up a little."
"Oh."
Apparently, that's not the response he was looking for, because he adds quickly, "Unless you don't want to, of course. If you wanna just get a pizza, we can do that, too. It's up to you."
Personally, Castiel doesn't really care what they do. He's not too keen on having a date night, but he also knows he'd be bored if they didn't, too. But if Dean wants to go out, they might as well do it. Castiel kind of wants to take a nap, but he's sure he'll enjoy their night if he can just gather the motivation to stand up.
"Where do you want to go?" Castiel asks.
"I don't know," Dean says. "Olive Garden? They have really good breadsticks."
"Sure," Castiel says. "Can I take a shower first, though? I haven't showered in, like, three days."
"Yeah, sure," Dean says. "I gotta shave, anyway."
Castiel looks up at him and rubs his hand against the stubble on Dean's face. "But I like the beard."
"And I like looking exactly the same every time I leave the house," Dean says. "On the off chance someone snaps a picture of us, I refuse to debut my not-quite-beard tonight."
"Maybe we shouldn't go out, then."
Dean scoffs. "Seriously? My beard is the deal breaking?"
Castiel chuckles. "No, I'm just messing with you."
"I should've known," Dean says. "You're not that mean."
"No, I'm not," Castiel agrees. "But I do really like the beard."
"Tell you what," Dean says. "I'll shave it for today, and then I'll grow it back out for you. It'll only take a couple days."
"Okay," Castiel says, "but I'm holding you to that."
~~
"Hey, Dean?" Castiel says loudly, struggling to be heard over the noise of the shower.
"Sup?" Dean asks from the bathroom sink, where he's currently in the process of shaving his beard and breaking Castiel's heart.
"Have you showered at all in the last few days?" Castiel asks, something that didn't occur to him until now.
"No, thus the beard," Dean says. "Why do you ask?"
"Maybe you should take a shower before we go, too."
"Eh," he says. "I'm good."
"Dean!" Castiel whines. "You can't go to Olive Garden when you haven't showered in days."
"No, I'm pretty sure I can," Dean says. "It's not like I haven't put deodorant on in three days. I just haven't showered."
"Dean," Castiel groans.
"What?" Dean says, mocking his groan.
"What if I let you shower with me?" Castiel asks.
"Suddenly, I'm interested," Dean says.
Castiel chuckles. "C'mon, you big dork."
"'Kay, hang on."
There's a brief pause, and Castiel uses the time to finish washing his body. He's already done with his shower by the time Dean steps in, not that the other boy knows that. Dean eyes him up and down with a smirk.
"Looking good, Cas."
"C'mere," Castiel says, pulling him into a hug.
It may sound cute, and Dean doubtlessly thinks it's hot that their dicks are touching because he's always thinking with his dick, but Castiel is just being a genius. By pulling him this way and under the shower head, he got Dean wet, so he's already started taking a shower.
"Ooh, what did I do to deserve this?" Dean asks, and Castiel can confirm by the tone of his voice that he is, in fact, thinking with his dick.
"You refused to take a shower, that's what," Castiel says. "And now you're taking a shower, and my work here is done." Castiel pushes the shower curtain out of his way.
"Wait, what?" Dean scoffs. "This is not what I signed up for."
"And I didn't sign up for a date with a stinky boyfriend," Castiel says. "And yet here we are."
"Okay, few things," Dean says. "One? Fiancè. Not boyfriend."
Castiel rolls his eyes. "Same thing."
"I did not plan a whole Disney trip around proposing for you to pretend we're just boyfriends."
Castiel chuckles. "Fine, point taken."
"And two," Dean says, "You did not sign up for a date with a stinky boyfriend. I'm now taking a shower. You're getting your wish. So, logically, I should also get my wish, which is —"
"To be a horny fuck," Castiel finishes for him. "Trust me, I got that part of it."
"So?" Dean says hopefully. "Whatcha gonna do? You gonna stay?"
Castiel hesitates. Showers aren't really meant for two people, and certainly not two people as big as they are. But Dean's also being a horny fuck, and Castiel is very rarely a horny fuck, so he feels like he owes it to him. Dean's reputation has always been that he fucks everything that moves, so if he's been faithful for so long and consequently not had sex with anyone for years, the least Castiel can do is just stand in the shower with him.
"I suppose," Castiel says finally, coupling his words with an overly dramatic sigh so Dean just sees it as a joke and not that he's actually conceding.
"Fuck yeah," Dean whispers. He presses a wet kiss to Castiel's cheek. "You da best."
Castiel forces a smile. That's what it takes to be "da best"? Letting Dean be a horny fuck makes him "da best"? That's one thing that he never does, though. He doesn't usually tell him not to be a horny fuck, but he doesn't let him. He rarely helps contribute to Dean's horny fuck-ness.
Does that bother him? It's no secret that Dean likes to have sex. He probably didn't realize going into this relationship that Castiel wasn't exactly jumping at the opportunity. Did Dean think that proposing was going to change that? Because even once they do get married, whenever that may be, Castiel isn't really planning on having sex.
But he can't expect Dean to stay loyal forever if they never have sex, can he? Should he just suck it up and do it? He doesn't want to, and, honestly, just thinking about the concept of sex hurts his asshole, but having been with Dean for so long, isn't he morally obligated to?
"Yoo hoo!" Dean waves his hand in front of Castiel's face. "Earth to Castiel."
"Sorry, what?"
Dean chuckles. "You haven't heard a word I just said, have you?"
"Oh, no, sorry," Castiel says sheepishly. "I zoned out. What were you saying?"
"Ah, nothing," Dean says.
"No, really, I'll listen."
"But nothing I said had any substance," Dean says. "Most things I say have no substance. You know that by now."
"Are you sure?" Castiel asks. He would hate to make Dean upset because he was too busy thinking about how he's an awful fiancé. That seems pretty counterproductive.
"Of course I'm sure," Dean says. "No one understands that I bullshit my every sentence more than I do."