It was another silent evening, which Jaemin and Jeno spent yet again in Jaemin's room.
Jaemin was lying on Jeno's chest, his head hidden in between Jeno's neck and shoulder, his arm around Jeno's waist.
Jeno's nose was buried in Jaemin's hair, his arms tightly wrapped around the younger, holding him close.
"And then he beat me for the fifth time or something in this game and I really tried to stay calm but you know the look, Jisung can have. The one, that makes him really look like a brat.", Jeno told Jaemin about how he was losing continually against Jisung in a video game.
"Yes. I know this look all to well.", Jaemin giggled. "Everytime he has threatened me to cook for him."
Jeno also laughed. "Yes, exactly that look." He kissed Jaemin's hair. Just because he could. Because Jaemin was here in his arms and Jaemin was his.
"So, I did the only thing I could to get revenge. I tickled him."
Jaemin laughed. "I guess, he deserved it."
"Yeah", Jeno nuzzled Jaemin's hair and intertwined their fingers. "But we continued playing after this and I still couldn't win."
Jaemin giggled again. He looked up to Jeno and saw the already expected pout on Jeno's face. "No, don't be sad.", Jaemin pecked Jeno's lips, who pecked him back.
"You know, you may lose against him in video games but there are things, in which you are better.", Jaemin smiled at his boyfriend.
"Yeah? And what are those things?", Jeno gave a kiss to their intertwined hands.
Jaemin hummed, pretending to think. "Mhh, for example, in making me happy."
"Yeah?", Jeno raised an eyebrow teasingly.
"Mhh", Jaemin hummed, agreeing. "Nobody makes me as happy as you do."
They smiled at each other and then lost themselves in a passionate kiss.
After a few minutes, they let go of each other but still stayed close, nose to nose.
"Jeno-ah?", Jaemin whispered softly.
Jeno hummed, showing that he was listening.
"I am ready."
"Huh?", Jeno asked confused.
"You know....", Jaemin tried but was still too shy to say it. "You know, what I mean. Us having, you know."
Jeno raised a brow, asking. He had an idea, what Jaemin was talking about but he still needed to hear it verbally.
"What do you mean, Jaeminie?"
Jaemin breathed in and out. "I- I mean I am ready for.... For sex, Jeno-ah."
A short silence and then:
"Are you sure?", Jeno asked and caressed Jaemin's cheek.
Jaemin nodded determined. "Yes, I am sure. I mean, not right now! But when we both want it and it is a good moment, than I am ready."
"Okay", Jeno smiled down at his boyfriend.
"Okay", Jaemin smiled back.
Jeno gave another kiss to Jaemin's lips. "I love you. So so much."
"I love you too. To the moon and back isn't even enough to describe my love for you.", Jaemin smiled.
"Cheesy", Jeno teased the younger.
"Shut up", Jaemin whined but also laughed. "You like it."
"Yes, I like you. And everything, that comes with it.", another peck.
"But, Jaeminie", Jeno carefully started.
"Yes?", Jaemin looked from their intertwined hands to Jeno's eyes.
"Did you like- ehm- did you ever inform yourself about- about gay sex?", Jeno asked in a quiet voice.
"Huh?", Jaemin was slightly confused.
"Like do you know how it works? Like Top and Bottom and all these stuff", Jeno sighed and Jaemin blushed.
Jeno kissed the blushing cheeks reassuringly.
"Oh", Jaemin breathed out. And then after another few seconds of silence. "Yeah, I- I know about that. I mean there are things, you can watch and read and well yeah- I know."
"Okay", Jeno slightly smiled and caressed his thumb over Jaemin's hand, showing him that he was also embarassed and nervous to talk about it.
"So should we discuss it?", Jeno asked unsure.
"Discussing what?", Jaemin blushed even more, having an idea, where this conversation was going.
"About", Jeno cleared his throat nervously. "Top and Bottom? I mean, who is who?"
"Oh- ehm", Jaemin had to look away from Jeno's eyes for a second to gain some confidence to continue to talk about this topic. "I- I mean I wouldn't mind being bottom, if you want to be top."
"Jaemin-ah", Jeno readjusted their positions, so they both were laying on the same level, eye to eye. "Baby, this is not about me. We both need to feel good. If you feel uncomfortable with being bottom, then-"
"I don't", Jaemin interrupted quickly. Then looked up in Jeno's eyes and spoke with a more calm voice: "I really don't feel uncomfortable to be the bottom.
"You don't?", Jeno asked to be really sure.
"Yes.", Jaemin slightly nodded to reassure Jeno. "I like it, when you take care of me. And in this way, you would do it too, just more intimately. I also like it, when you take control. Normally, I order you around, when it is about things like cooking or cleaning. But in this case, I want you to order me around somehow."
"Okay. This really sounds good.", Jeno gulped. "But you know, that being in control doesn't mean you have to be top. You could also be dominant as a bottom."
"I know", Jaemin blushed again. "But- god, I feel embarrassed to tell you- but I- I tried stuff and. Well, I- I definetely will get pleasure being bottom. Even more pleasure than as being top."
Jeno caressed Jaemin's cheek, down over his throat, till his hand was reaching Jaemin's on top of his chest, intertwining their fingers.
"There is nothing you have to be embarrassed of, okay? It is totally okay that you prefer getting pleasure like this. And it is also totally okay to try stuff to find out what you like. Do you understand?"
Jaemin nodded. "Yes, I do."
They were just playing with their fingers in silence for a while, when Jaemin spoke up again. "Do you also prefer to be top?"
Jeno put his finger under Jaemin's chin to make him look up at him.
"Yes, I do." A peck to the lips. "When I am thinking about all the pleasure I can give you, this makes me really happy." Another peck. "You lying under me, moaning my name and getting lost in pleasure because of me, this is a sight, I am awaiting to see." A passionate kiss.
Jaemin whimpered. "Don't say stuff like that."
"Why not?", Jeno asked but now teasingly.
"Because then a problem will occur.", Jaemin tried to hide under the blanket.
"A problem?", Jaemin saw the smirk on Jeno's face, telling him that the older knew exactly, what he was talking about.
"Don't play dumb", Jaemin whined but Jeno only chuckled.
"Why are you hiding under the blanket?", Jeno continued teasing, trying to lift the blanket but Jaemin's grasp was too strong.
"Did the problem already occur?", Jeno maybe couldn't lift the blanket but he could slide his hand under it. So that was exactly what he did.
He let his hand glide over Jaemin's chest to his stomach, over his waist down to his legs, were he rested it on the younger's inner thigh.
"Do you want to try something new?", Jeno leaned down and kissed Jaemin.
"What?", Jaemin whispered, already getting lost in the kiss.
"I know, we said no sex tonight but there is something else we could do", Jeno stopped kissing Jaemin, what made the younger whine.
Jeno slowly caressed his hand over Jaemin's thigh. Higher and higher till it was at Jaemin's crotch.
"I could pleasure you with just my hand", Jeno whispered and got out a moan from Jaemin.
"Please", Jaemin said and closed his eyes, when Jeno started rubbing over his clothed crotch.
Minutes passed. They both were touching each other, no layer in the way.
It was a new feeling, so bare. But Jaemin loved it. Jeno took care of him but he also took care of Jeno, in a way that brought them so much pleasure.
After a while he came, followed by Jeno, who was driven insane by Jaemin's voice.
They were lying in silence for a while, until Jeno stood up and brought a washcloth to clean themselves.
After that, he took Jaemin in his arms again and pressed a kiss on his head, before nuzzling his hair.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
And they both meant it.