The steam from my current shower starts to clear my clouded senses as I rest my head against the cool tile. When you think things can’t get worse, they somehow do don’t they. I mean even when you say it in your head, ‘Well I’m at rock bottom, nothing worse can happen’ then miraculously something does. That’s kind of the situation I’m in now, and I don’t like it.
“Why me, I mean can’t I just have an easy life already?”
First it starts with having to see Him and Her everywhere, kissing, and loving each other. Then it’s having to have Max set me up on a not so blind date, with his best friend Andy, who happens to be my childhood bully. And now it’s that Max is coming here, with his friends probably in tow, meaning Nathan… How can I already have such a screwed up life at the age of 19?
With a swift movement, I rip open the curtain letting to cool air kiss my naked body. Goosebumps rise on my still sun kissed skin as I step out from the modern shower, water droplets still hanging on for dear life. Finding the fluffy blue towel I stole from the flat in London, I wrap it around my now curvaceous frame it hugging loosely.
After a good amount of drying off, and dressing I look presentable for a wonderful October night. Taking into consideration on where on earth we could be going I dress simply yet still a bit sexy. I’m going to show Mr. Brown that I’m no longer that child he used to pick on, but a grow woman that he can’t control anymore.
I pull my gray sweater down more in the front while pulling up my jeans. I pull a beanie onto my unruly mess and take a second look in the mirror. The image that looks back is haunting, bringing back memories from my final day in London.
Dead, the first thing that comes to mind when you look into the lifeless green eyes that are staring back. Even after a long never ending year, they’re still dead after heartbreak. The once fire filled orbs are now burnt out, the gold sparks extinguished long ago.
“What happened to the once beautiful girl that I knew?”
His soothing voice reverberates throughout my mind, making chills run down my spine. His green eyes becoming clear in the corner of my mirror, a scrutinizing look came from them. I can’t help but hang my head in defeat, knowing that getting over him was going to be near impossible.
“Rebbeca, babe. Don’t do this to yourself please? You’re too precious.”
My heart now melts when his soft Nottingham accent shoos the Gloucester one away. Immediately, my head rises to see blue eyes starting to appear, making a small smile appear onto my face. It’s not a happy smile, but a sad smile. A smile that’s sad because of how I played one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met.
“Are you just gonna keep staring at yourself? I’m mean; I know you’re a narcissist but damn girl!”
A scream almost escapes my mouth before the voice recognition software in the noggin kicks in. With an eye roll, unattractive snort, and impressive turn I’m facing a smirking Jess. As you may remember from a while ago Jess is this wonderful, talented, beautiful, pretty much amazing singer from Big Kicks. She also happens to frequently stop by and tell me about how successful she’s getting and is trying to tag me along with it.
“Well hello to you to Jessica. You know, you could’ve warned me that you were coming over.”
“And miss seeing you looking this good? Damn girl! Max really set you up on a hot date didn’t he?
My eye brow arches at her statement, making a giggle escape her mouth. I can’t help but envy her beauty, with once long hair now cut to shoulder length making her features still pop. I bite my lip, giving her a shrug before going over to my desk and turning on my computer.
“Beccs! You need to stop this right now; I mean just leave it be. Why people hate on you is beyond me, I mean we all saw it was Nath in the wrong.”
I tend to tune her out when she goes off on her rant about the fans. Now to set the record straight, I really don’t get your typical “hate”. It’s more of the fans telling me they hate me for letting Chrissy take him away from her. Like I could’ve helped that though, right after we got together it ended causing me heartache.
The fanmily tells me that he’s just as heartbroken as I am because; even to my disapproval I’ve been in the papers lately due to football. I joined the local universities team, and I’ve been considered a bit shot, thanks to the big shot brother I have. Back to the fanmily though, they keep saying it’s killing Nathan to see me happy. Well excuse me I’ll go be depressed for the rest of my life for the sake of that little twat.
My twitter page loads and I see that my followers have went up again, making a small smile appear on my face. Moving the mouse quickly, I click on the connect tab, reading the interactions.
@FanmilyForever_: @BeccaGeorge You’re wonderful, please know that not al fanmily are like the haters.
@NathansGurrlll: @BeccaGeorge Still see you’re in the papers… Who knew you were such a man.
@ChrissyNathan: @BeccaGeorge I told you @NathanTheWanted would be together. ;)
@NathanTheWanted: @ChrissyNathan @BeccaGeorge Why are you even talking to her babe? She’s not worth our time.
My heart stops mid beat, while my stomach finds its way into my throat. My eyes scan over the most recent interaction on the page, making my mouth go dry. Jess notices my falter and hurries over, reading the tweets from above.
“What the fuck is he talking about? Don’t you think tha-“
Her voice is cut off by the ringing of the doorbell, making my heart once again stop. My palms start to sweat as I realize Max is here, and finally a genuine smile finds its way onto my face. The rolling chair speeds away from under me as I hop up quickly to get to the door.
The small house flashes by quickly while I sprint towards the front. It’s been a whole year since I’ve seen Max. I mean it’s really not that long, but we haven’t Skyped or anything just encase someone walked in on it. Being under the radar from people is really difficult, I don’t know how Max has kept them from reading the paper.
Finally I’m at the door and stop in my tracks, deep fulfilling breaths being taken. Finally the time has arrived for the doorbell to ring again and I open the door, my heart fluttering as I do. The cold autumn air hits my face with a gust making my eye close instinctively. The smell of familiar colognes fill the air as the wind continues to gust. Wait. Did I just say colognes? As in the plural of cologne, more than one?
My eyes snap open at the realization that there is more than one person standing there. In fact there’s five, which makes my eyes seem to pop out of my head. Five men that have grown so much in a year it’s surprising that I’m looking at them now. Four out of the five share my expression as Max pulls me to him, engulfing my now shaking body into a hug.
“Oh Becc’s! Life in London is definitely not the same without you, it’s like all we do is fight and no one takes care of us. Oh, I brought the lads.”
“I can see that you twat!” I exclaim while pushing myself away from my smirking brother. I manage to pull my gaze from him to look at the others, three more a bit more surprised than one tall dark Irish lad. I muster up a false smile, shooting it to Siva before it gets too awkward.
“Hey Seev, how goes it?”
“Goes it fair Rebbeca, and may I say. You look extremely well; football’s been keeping you busy eh?”
“Oh you saw that? Well yeah, apparently I’m pretty good at it. Any way its great to see y-Ommf”
My sentence is cut off with a flying Bolton boy wrapping me up in strong arms. His familiar scent keeps the smile planted on my face as he lifts me up, laughing his contagious laugh.
“Oh Beccs! I thought you really left! You look so fit, not that you didn’t before but; WOW! Just WOW!”
“Haha thanks Tom Tom, er I guess?” I manage to choke out before he places me back on my feet. His dark brown eyes look deeply into mine, making a blush crawl its way onto my cheeks. A cheeky smile creeps on to his as he pushes by me to go in the house with the others.
Now to say the current situation was awkward is complete and utter bullshit. The situation is so tense that I swear everyone in the godforsaken neighborhood could feel it. I mean there they are, Jay and Nathan. Jay is standing slightly to the left and Nathan is just an inch in front of him.
My eyes fall on both of them as another bone chilling breeze passes by, making the mop on my head fly into my face. Through the strands of hair, I see them both staring at me. Evading my eye’s quickly, I decide to make a decision and speak before this gets incredible awkward.
“Um, hey?”
“Is that all you can really say? Just ‘hey’?”
The no longer calm Nottingham boy storms up to me, making me subconsciously shrink. He looms over me, making me feel like an ant in his presence. Taking a shaky breath, I gain confidence no longer wanting to be seen as weak.
“Yeah that’s all I can say, Jay. I had my reasons for doing this and that you should respect. You don’t own me, nobody does. I’m my own person and I plan on keeping it like that. Don’t like it, then fuck off. No more of being a coward and hiding behind others, I’m done with that. I’m sorry to have upset you, but it needed to be done. Now, if I were you, I’d go inside.”
The ferocity of my words throws us three off guard, meaning what I did was the right thing. It was time for me to grow up, and seeing them has finally made me realize it. I’ve been hiding this whole time, from one person while the rest of the world carried on. I didn’t need to be afraid anymore, he’s moved on and so will I. Yeah, maybe in time but I will and I can’t wait for the day. Nathan Sykes is no longer an enemy/friend/love or anything. To me he is now nothing.
The world outside seemed to slow as Jay brushed past me, silently taking everything that had just been said. The scent of Calvin Klein Eternity smacks me in the face, causing my gag reflex to kick in.
Finally, after a whole year I’m ready to look him in the face. I’m ready to show that I’m done with him. Finally I can be a part of Max’s life, watching him rise into fame in the here and now. Not from a magazine of the television.
“Rebbe-“
“Don’t say anything and just get inside. I want you here as much as you want to be here. Now just hurry in so you can leave just as quickly.” I snap and he quickly walks by, leaving me to sigh heavily before following behind. This should be interesting.