I subconsciously register the fact that the fire is burning my skin, I know I'm being burned so badly that I'm never going to wake up. And yet I can't do anything about it, I'm a prisoner in the confinement of my own mind.
I feel like I'm on the very edge of a cliff, if I fall I die. I can see the edge at my toes, all I have to do is jump and my body will stop fighting the impossible war of living. But can I really do that, can I really give up?
Do I want to? I'm not sure. I guess if I do my father can stop searching, people can stop dying, and maybe I'll have a chance at peace. Heaven or hell? Living or dying? Let's face it, I'm broken beyond repair. I ran from my mate, I ran from my father, I always run. In a way, if I end it here it'll be a form of running. Should I do what I always do, should I not stay to face my problems?
I can feel the emptiness beckoning to me, calling to my soul, begging for me to give in. I bring destruction where ever I go, even though my dad is the one who kills, I'm the catalyst. Even though I didn't mean or want to. I'm broken, so broken. Do I give up?
I'm vaguely aware of the burning in my body stopping altogether, but it does nothing to my predicament. I'm the only one who has the answers to my questions, I'm the only one that has the truth.
Living or dying? That's what it has come down to, that's the question that holds the key to all the others. Living or dying. What if I finally give up and wave the white flag in high in the air? Do I? Can I? I'm not sure.
Suddenly I steel my nerves and decide. I know what to do. I know the consequences, I know now. And my body can feel it to, its time to do what has to be done. I have to. Now.
Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself and... step away from the empty void that would end my life. I will fight, I will try.
Only once I decide am I pulled from of my unconscious, dreary state. I briefly snap open my eyes and feel the deep pull on my chest increase as my eyes instantly meet baby blue ones. "I didn't give up," I mumble before closing them and getting pulled backs into the haze of unconsciousness. I didn't run...
Living or dying? I choose living. I will not purposely end my life before I've had the chance to live it. I will try this time, and I will not run. If my dad wants me, let him come and get me. I will kill him myself if he tries to touch one single hair on anyone of the wolfs' of this pack.
And I can too, for I am the golden wolf.