ℤ𝕒𝕟𝕖
I can't believe I'm actually considering this.
Fuck.
Ava is resting in her hospital bed. Her usually pink-speckled skin is dull and sallow, her delicate arms are covered with tape. She's tethered by tangled tubes and wires to beeping machines. Every element in this room is a reminder of the absurd fragility of human life.
Kami walks in with an iPad and closes the door, locking it behind her.
"Okay," she says softly. "I got the deets from Alek and he has a whole book on it."
Ava's eyes flutter open and she adjusts slightly to sit up. I stand and prop a pillow behind her back.
"Who's Alek?" Ava asks.
"He's a Siren friend of ours," Kami says. "He did the mark with his partner and he's got tons of info on it."
"You said he has a book?" I ask.
"Yeah, he scanned it for me." She holds up the iPad and waves it in the air.
She hands it to me and I see a page of an old book, all in Greek.
"You know my Greek is terrible," I say. "You're gonna have to translate for me."
"Pshhh... okay," she says, grabbing the tablet out of my hands. "Well this says something like 'humans who are bonded to a Siren by blood are nearly immortal.' Blah blah blah... Ahh, here we go. How do I say this in English?... Basically, injuries are healed by the bond, but illnesses of the body are not."
"What counts as an illness of the body?" Ava asks.
"This seems to imply things that involve the body reacting to itself and imbalances. It's hard to really understand because they're talking about a lot of ancient medical concepts that we know now are definitely wrong. Like, they're talking about having too much blood—that's not a thing."
Ava chuckles softly.
"From what I can gather, the Siren blood will heal any wounds caused by outside things."
"Mmkay," I say. "What else?"
"So she won't be able to die until you do. When you die she will become mortal again."
I feel insane even entertaining this idea, but I can't help but feel pleased with the idea of an immortal lifetime with Ava.
"It says the first year is particularly intense," Kami explains. "The body takes time to adapt to the bond. In the first weeks, the connection will be overwhelmingly strong, then over time you will become used to it."
"So what does that mean?" I ask.
"Well, Alek said that for them, they could feel the emotions and physical sensations experienced by the other person. Alek also said he felt particularly primal and was more possessive over David."
"More possessive?" Ava asks.
"Thanks, love," I say dryly.
She does have a point, though. I already find myself tensing every time someone looks twice at her. I've always been so good at fighting back those instincts, but now that I'm with Ava I can't help but want her to myself.
"They said it's weird initially but it starts to feel normal after a while," Kami says. "Plus I guess now David heals from injuries a bit faster, which is a nice perk."
"I'll take what I can get in that department," Ava jokes.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask Ava.
Kami looks back and forth between us for a moment before handing me the iPad.
"Well you kids talk this over," she says. "I have a couple errands to run anyway."
She slips out quietly and leaves just me and Ava alone to discuss.
"Is this what you want?" I ask.
"What about you?" she asks. "This decision involves both of us."
I've wanted Ava since the moment I met her, even if I spent the majority of those first weeks denying it to myself. I can't imagine a life without her. The one time I tried, I demolished my entire apartment and drowned my sorrows in alcohol and lethe.
There has never been any point in pretending Ava is anything but the only person for me.
"I would do anything for you, love," I say. "I'm afraid of the risks. This is still something we don't fully understand. But the risks of mortality are seeming greater by the day."
Ava ponders for a moment before giving me a slight nod.
"What about your wings?" she asks. "They're a part of you."
"So are you," I say. "I can live without my wings. I can't live without you."
She gives me a sly smile as a slight blush washes over her face.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" I ask.
"I feel like it's the best option at this point."
"How romantic," I joke.
"I don't mean it like that. I mean, we already know we're soulmates. I know I love you. And being an immortal sounds pretty freakin' cool. I just wish there was a way to do this without all the complications."
"Well then, it's settled. I could never deny my baby anything she wants."
𝔸𝕧𝕒
We arrive at the parking structure of our building and Zane pulls his Challenger into one of our parking spots. He turns off the engine and before I can even unbuckle my seatbelt he's at the passenger side door, opening it and scooping me up from my seat.
"What are you doing?" I ask. "I can still walk, you know."
"If you think I'm letting you out of my arms while you're ill, you're mad," he says with a grin.
"You're ridiculous. When I'm immortal I'm gonna kick your butt."
"Doesn't work like that, love. You may be immortal soon but you'll still punch like a kitten."
"Okay first off," I say as he carries me into the elevator. "Kittens have claws so they can scratch the shit out of you—don't disrespect kittens."
He chuckles in response as I attempt fruitlessly to wriggle out of his hold. I swear if someone else gets in this elevator and he still insists on carrying me I'm going to claw him myself.
"Secondly, you don't know. Maybe I'll be different and get super strength."
"Okay, love," he says. "Sure. When you get your super strength you go ahead and kick my arse. Until then, though, fighting me is pretty pointless."
I let out a sigh of resignation and surrender.
I really shouldn't be surprised that fighting a hulking superhuman wasn't working out for me.
We arrive at the top floor and the elevator doors part to reveal Kami standing at our doorway with a large brown woven bag.
"Okay kids, let's do this thing," she says as we make our way inside.
"You're far too enthusiastic about this," Zane says, setting me down on the couch. "Should I be concerned about how eager you are to come at me with a knife?"
"We're doing this with a knife?" I ask.
"Yep," Kami explains. "Not a lot can cut through a Siren's wings."
"That's super intense. Are we sure this is a good idea?" I ask. "Isn't that going to be really painful?"
"I've fought in wars, been attacked by demons," Zane says.
"Got your butt kicked by a Minotaur," Kami adds.
"Yes, thanks for that, Kam," he says. "My point is, yes it will hurt a little, but I've handled much worse."
I sigh and nod.
"Okay then," I say. "If you're sure."
"You're the one thing I've always been sure of," he says, giving me a kiss on the forehead.
I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks at his sweet gesture.
"Why not give her a kiss on the lips?" Kami says.
"Do I really have to explain why that's not a good idea right now?" Zane says.
"I'm not an idiot, Z. I'm saying if she's already affected by venom then we'll know when it's working because the effect will go away."
"Oh," he says, looking back at me.
"Sure," I say. "Makes sense."
He reluctantly leans in and kisses me on the lips.
Instantly my body is flooded with a feeling of euphoria and arousal. As he pulls away I find myself trying to pull him back in, but as usual I fail to overpower him.
"Feeling affected, love?" he asks.
"Um, yep," I say with an embarrassed giggle.
"Alright, Kam, let's get this shit over with."
Zane rips his shirt off and I'm instantly distracted by his body.
What were we doing, anyway?
Kami pulls a rather large, double-edged knife out of her bag and I'm suddenly shocked back to the reality of what we're about to do.
"Do I actually have to drink his blood?" I ask, feeling squeamish.
Is this really happening in my life right now?
"I brought mixers," Kami says, holding up a bottle of juice and a bottle of margarita mix.
That seems worse somehow.
I see a large shadow appear in my periphery and I turn to see Zane's wings spread.
Okay, it's official: my life is batshit crazy.
"Alright then," Kami says, grabbing the knife. "Um, I guess, uh... how should we do this? Maybe kneel?"
"You alright, Kam?" Zane asks, kneeling with his back facing her.
"Okay, Z, I'm a little freaked out here. It's not every day you chop off someone's wings."
Zane lets out a laugh.
"Is this the same woman who disemboweled that demon while he was still alive?"
I'm not even gonna ask.
"Yeah, yeah," she says. "Shut up unless you wanna be disemboweled too."
She takes in a deep breath before bringing the knife down in a clean, swift motion. The sound of the blade ripping through tissue is nauseating. Before I can even process it, his large black wing falls and she grabs it with her other hand.
"Argghh fuck!" Zane yells.
I'm stunned silent by the quickness of it all.
"Are you okay?" I ask Zane.
His eyes are pinched shut, but he looks up at me and smiles.
"I'm alright, love," he says, his voice slightly strained. "I promise, I can handle this."
I sigh with relief, but the sensation doesn't last long when I see Kami pouring a black fluid from the core of his wing into a cup.
Oh fuck no.
"Mixer preference?" she asks.
This is so gross.
I try to remind myself of all the disgusting medicines I've had to stomach over the years, but I can't think of anything that grosses me out more than this right now.
"Orange juice," I say, trying not to think of it much longer.
I look over to Zane who is still kneeling on the floor, one wing folded at his back. I feel so wrong about this. I'm to blame for hurting him, even if I'm not the one who held the blade.
"Don't," he says.
"Don't what?"
"I know the look you make when you're blaming yourself for something," he says. "As someone brilliant once told me, the person who knows what's best for me is me. I don't want you to protect me."
He gives me a knowing smirk.
"Oh shut up," I say. "You can't use my own words against me! That's cheating!"
"Yeah but you're feeling a little less bad for me, aren't you?"
I give him a glare as Kami hands me a glass of brown liquid.
I really shouldn't have looked at it.
Before my brain is allowed to think too much, I down it in one go.
That wasn't so bad, really. It's like metallic orange juice.
Except it's blood.
Oh god, eww.
Just stop thinking about it.
EWWWW.
I find myself coughing and gagging at the thought.
I try to stand up to go get water, but Kami appears with a glass at the perfect moment. I drink it down with a fervor.
Zane appears beside me, looking deeply concerned.
"How do you feel?" he asks.
"Like a little pathetic bitch of a vampire," I say. "I am not cut out for the blood-drinking life."
He carefully examines my face and smiles slightly.
"What?" I ask.
"Your eyes, they're not dilated anymore," he says.
"And your skin is getting its color back," Kami says.
Zane takes my hand and turns it over to examine my wrist. His eyes narrow and he brings up the other wrist to investigate.
"I don't see it," he says.
"See what?" I ask.
"The mark," he says. "It's supposed to show on your wrist."
"Maybe it's just obscured by the flower tattoo," Kami says, pointing to the ink on my right wrist.
"Maybe," he says.
As I look down at my tattoo to inspect it myself, Zane loses his footing and falls backward with a slight groan.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
"Your balance is probably thrown off from having just one wing," Kami says.
"ARHH," he groans loudly. "FUCK!"
"What's wrong?" I ask. "Are you okay? Is it hurting? Do you need venom to heal you?"
He lets out a loud, inhuman screech.
"What's happening?" I ask Kami, whose expression has morphed into one of concern and fear.
"I don't know," she says, trying to tend to Zane as his cries grow louder. "This isn't supposed to happen. Something's wrong."