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---
There were four attendants helping me get dressed this morning as the sun only just begun to peek over the horizon, however, not too far away from me was Aaryan, who was getting ready on his own. That always frustrated me... the fact that it took me so long to get dressed, requiring a group of women to help, whereas Aaryan just slipped into his outfit, put on some jewelry on his own and was ready to go.
When he was ready, he looked over at me and I could tell that he was still in his morning daze... a little out of it and not yet completely awake. "I will see you at the temple then?"
"Will Aathu be back on time?" I asked.
Aaryan chuckled, probably because I had been going on and on about this for the last few days.
Anbu was getting married today.
After five years of courting the lovely Vishmiya from the south, the two of them had finally agreed to get married. It was unheard of, really... to spend so long together but not getting married, especially when Vishmiya was already in her twenties, but that was what the two of them wanted and so Aaryan and I respected that.
Especially because Vishmiya seemed like a woman to wait for.
Though she was sweet and kind, she was incredibly intelligent and had dreams of her own. She knew that marriage would mean the pressure would be on to have children... and lots of them... and she wasn't necessarily ready for that yet. So in the time she had left, she did all that she wanted to do.
She was primarily focused on improving trade routes in the south. She had been, all her life.
She told me once that as a child, that she would watch the people suffer in the midst of their travel, she would watch all the border skirmishes, she would watch people die because of the lack of stability at the southern border, and she knew she wanted to fix that.
So she had been plotting and planning for years, and now, through her engagement to Anbu, she also had the ear of Aaryan.
We were impressed with all her ideas... her ideas for roads, for a trading post, her ideas for a group of warriors who would be permanently posted in various parts of the region to promote stability.... And of course, Aaryan and I were not going to let good idea's slip past us. So we sent her the support of the crown and progress was sped up and soon, Vishmiya was a sort of hero in the south.
She was the perfect bride for a Prince.
And Anbu was certainly in love.
It seemed that Anbu had never really even known what he wanted in a woman, and it turned out that that was a good thing... because in that empty space, Vishmiya was able to fill it and become everything he ever wanted in a woman.
Or maybe she always was everything he wanted, and he just didn't know it.
Whatever the case, seeing them together made my heart melt and now that they were finally getting married, I was thrilled.
I wanted this day to go by perfectly for Anbu, and he was close to all my children, so I wanted them to be on their best behavior today, supporting their uncle. I was not worried about Aaru at all, but Maya... and the fact that Aathu was not home yet worried me.
"Aathavan will be back on time," Aaryan said with a smile. "I've told him countless times to be sure he is here for the ceremony. Has he ever disobeyed?"
"No... but...." You could never know when it came to military missions.
When Aathu left with Lakshmanan five years ago for his first ever excursion as a warrior, a trick by the enemies caused Aathavan to have to go into battle with his uncle. Just the memory of getting the news filled my heart with anxiety.
Despite the unexpected nature of the trip, though, it had gone extremely well. So well that with this new taste for battle, it seemed as if Aathu had gotten addicted to it. He was accompanying his father or Lakshmanan or anyone else pretty much to every military excursion there could be.
To Aaryan, this was good. Aathavan was making a name for himself as a warrior. A good name, at that.
But to me, as his mother, it scared me.
It never got better.
Aaryan kissed my forehead. "He'll be here," he repeated. "He loves Anbu and wouldn't miss such an important day in his uncle's life. Don't worry."
I nodded. "Alright," I sighed. "I'll see you at the temple."
---
We were at the temple bright and early, and though a crowd had already gathered around the temple to witness the wedding of a Prince, only family was allowed in.
The bride hadn't arrived yet, which was fine. She wasn't meant to arrive until the sun was in just the right spot, however, the ceremonies were being delayed because someone else was missing, and I did not mean Aathavan, who was still not here.
I meant Aaryan's mother.
Aaryan had waived the banishment for only his mother so that she could be here to participate in the ceremony in her son's wedding, however she was extremely late, and Aaryan was getting impatient.
"She never said she would come," Aayu, who was standing next to me, said in a low voice that only I could hear.
To be honest, I was more distracted by the fact that Aathavan was not here yet. But I sighed. "Do you really think she won't come? To her youngest son's wedding?"
"I wouldn't be surprised," was Aayu's response.
After waiting a little longer, the priest turned to us and told us that if we wait much longer, the stars would not be aligned in a way that would favour this wedding.
I frowned and looked at Aaryan, who looked... surprisingly a little sad.
However, Anbu, who was dressed in gorgeous silks and looked incredibly handsome, turned to me. "It's alright," he said. "Let's proceed."
"But-"
"I had a feeling she would not come," he said. "And to be honest, I was prepared for that." Anbu walked over to me and took my hands in his before he, as always, shared the sweetest of smiles with me. "To be honest, I'm closer to you and big brother anyways... so I'd be honored if you could take her place... with big brother taking the place of father."
My heart skipped a beat and almost instantly, I felt my eyes water. "Anbu..."
"I know you're not that much older than me, but you've done for me everything a mother should do for a child... and brother," he turned to Aaryan, "the same goes for you."
Aaryan, who was also surprised by the comment, smiled at his little brother. "If that is what you wish for."
"It would be an honor," he repeated.
I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "If that's what you wish," I said, repeating Aaryan.
Anbu smiled, not looking upset. In fact, he looked extremely pleased... like he wouldn't have it any other way.
So the ceremony began, with Aaryan and I taking the place of Anbu's mother and father. It really was an honour, especially since I never thought I would be taking on this role until Aathavan's wedding. And something about this felt special... being able to be there for a young man who has been nothing but good to us and to everyone he knew for all his life.
I remember Anbu sharing the story with me, all those years ago, of when he felt miserable when he thought he let Aaryan down. Ever since Aaryan had become Maharajah, Anbu has done nothing but make Aaryan proud, and I hoped that Anbu knew that. I hoped that Anbu knew that Aaryan was so proud, maybe even the most proud he's ever been right now.
Though, despite feeling happy and excited, I felt that I could not stay entirely focused because Aathu was still not here yet. Moments before the bride was set to enter the temple, when I had a moment to speak, I looked at Aaryan. "Where's our son?" I hissed.
Aaryan, who was now in a very good mood thanks to Anbu's sweetness, jerked his chin in the direction of the entrance.
I looked over and saw an exhausted looking Aathavan slide past some guards and rush into the temple. He was still in his riding clothes, making it clear that he literally just arrived, and the exhaustion on his face seemed to suggest that he had been riding all night, with no sleep, to get here.
Despite feeling a little sorry for him, I sighed in relief, not failing to notice that Anbu saw him too, exchanging a happy smile with him.
And then the bride entered the temple with her family, looking as glorious as a woman could look. She looked happy, and excited and not at all scared. I was thrilled for her.
I thought back to my own wedding, I thought back to how scared I was. How I could feel the judgement and the eyes of the nobles who thought so little of me. And though the sight of Aaryan at the time had calmed me down, I realized that this wedding... was entirely different from my own.
The world had changed.
The atmosphere had changed.
Where there was once negativity, and greed and hate and jealousy... there was now love and warmth and excitement and kindness.
The sun seemed the shine brighter these days.
And despite everything that happened for us to get here, I could not deny that all of this peace was thanks to Aaryan. He promised to be a good king, and that was exactly what he had become.
I watched as Anbu blushed and stared in awe at the woman that was his bride, and as I smiled, I reached out and took Aaryan's hand in mine.
He looked at me, a little surprised, but knotted his fingers with mine.
"I love you," I said, softly. I did, I had always loved him, but it felt like I had not said those words in a very long time and they needed to be spoken.
He squeezed my hand and when I looked up at him, I saw him smiling. "I love you too."
---
The ceremony went beautifully, and once it was over, it was time for the grand banquet to celebrate the couple. As soon as the ceremony finished, I saw Aathavan slip away, probably to freshen up, and I was proven right when he walked into the banquet washed, cleaned, in stunning silks and looking as handsome as his father.
The sixteen year old walked over to me with a warm smile. When he reached me, he put a hand on my arm and kissed my cheek. "Sorry for being late, Amma."
"Welcome home," I said, smiling. "And I'm just happy you made it to the ceremony. How was everything?"
"It was quiet until we ran into a few bandits last night," he said. "That was why we were late."
"Bandits?"
The young man, whose hair was long enough to be curling a little at the ends, shrugged. "They were just some foolish men out causing trouble. Nothing to worry about too much."
"Alright," I said. "We'll need to tell your father afterwards, but right now, go get something to eat, love."
"Yes, amma," my son chuckled, before turning to his sister, who was standing right next to me. "Maya," Aathu grinned at her. He proceeded to pinch her cheek. "Little sister, you look beautiful."
He said it in a joking way, and Maya, who was pouting, frowned. "Shut up."
Aathu chuckled, and it seemed that there was some sort of sibling inside joke that I was not aware of because he gave her a silly grin and the fourteen year old girl stuck her tongue out at him.
I let out a laugh.
And despite the fact that she did not seem to take his compliment well, Maya did look beautiful. She had had her first blood already, which was celebrated with a grand celebration where she was gifted with the bangle of the Rudraraja clan, the bangle which was given to Rudraraja children when they were considered adults. And ever since then, it felt like she was growing more and more beautiful every day.
Though she had my thick, full, black hair that waved beautifully and had grown to just above her waist, she was entirely like Aaryan's side. In fact, she looked much like Aaryan's mother, whose focused eyes Aaryan also had. She had his cheek bones and his lips and his perfect nose... she was much more beautiful than I ever was at her age.
She certainly looked like a Princess, though her actions nearly always spoke otherwise.
When she was at home, despite her age, she still fooled around with sticks, fighting with her brothers, her long hair tied up high into a ponytail. Sometimes she would even wear her brother's trousers so that she could move more.
If I were any other mother, I would probably lose my mind at the sight of her... but for some reason, I wasn't like the other mother's. In fact, seeing her like that, though I worried for her safety, made me proud.
Maybe it was because I didn't need to worry about what other people thought of her and how that would affect her chances of finding a good husband.
She was the most wanted young lady in the nation after all... not only was she smart and pretty, always showing her best self when she was in public, she was the daughter Aaryan. Many men would dream of being so closely connected to the Maharajah through marriage.
Of course, that wasn't why I wasn't worried about her finding a good husband.
As my eyes found Muthu in the crowd of people, I found myself smiling. He seemed quite fine with who she really was... even if she was a little bit messy and unpredictable and insane.
I looked at my daughter and watched as her eyes darted away from Muthu the moment he looked in our direction. It didn't take me too long to realize that she was staring at the boy and to that, my smile turned into a silly grin. "Hmm," I started, looking back at Muthu.
The young man, meeting my eyes, smiled and bowed his head at me before returning to a conversation with his warrior friends.
"Why don't you go talk to him?" I asked my daughter, who immediately looked embarrassed. "It's been months since you've seen him, I'm sure you have a lot to catch up on?"
Muthu had been gone for months, nearly half a year, in fact. He was an official warrior now and as the son of Lakshmanan, the head of the Chandraba army, , they sure did keep him busy.
"It's so sweet of him to be here for your Anbu Chithappa's wedding," I continued. "I'm sure you missed him a lot."
"Amma," my daughter hissed, her cheeks reddening despite her dark skin. "I couldn't care less."
My brows rose a bit and I tried not to laugh. "Your Saumi Mami told me he asks about you often, you know? He seems-"
She started waving her hand at me. "Stop it Amma, you're being silly!"
Now I laughed.
At that moment, I was interrupted by another young man. "Seetha Mami."
I turned, and to my surprise, I saw Karthik.
Karthik was the son of Aarun... well, an illegitimate son that Aarun had made legitimate because the wife he ended up marrying did not have any sons yet. This young man, who was nearly the splitting image of his father, was welcome in Aathikara, though his father was banished, because Aaryan was fair and saw no reason to punish the children of Aarun for his crimes.
Though some of his court members, including Aayu, thought otherwise, Aaryan pushed back.
It seemed to me that Aaryan hoped that the children of his trouble-making brother could be made into better men.
Karthik, who was seventeen now, a year older than Aathavan and the son of some noblewoman who was exiled for becoming pregnant before marriage... was rather mysterious. He was good, never caused trouble, but had an air to him that was suspicious. Maybe the problem was that he looked too much like Aarun, and Aarun always had that air to him too.
He had taken on the role of being Aarun's messenger and right hand man of sorts and we often saw him around the palace, and though the sight of him always surprised me and made me a little uneasy, I always tried to be kind and fair.
Like Aaryan said, why should the child pay for the father's crimes?
"Hello, Karthik," I smiled.
The young man bowed. "I'm a little late-"
"Yes, I didn't see you at the ceremony... and your grandmother?"
"Grandmother was not feeling well," he said. "The long travel from the north would have been hard on her."
"Your uncle Aaryan sent up a comfortable carriage to retrieve her."
"Unfortunately it seems it was not comfortable enough," the young man smiled... and though his words were innocent, something about his tone made my smile falter just a little. He then turned to Maya. "Cousin," he nodded.
Maya smiled a tight lipped smile.
Maya did not like her cousin much. She thought that he had strange ideas of how women should be and she did not like that.
When she mentioned that to me, simply in passing quite some time ago, I was not too surprised. If this man was being raised by Aarun and my mother-in-law, such thoughts would make sense.
What Maya didn't know, however, was that Aaryan's mother was eager to have the two cousins married. She thought that Maya and Karthik would be the perfect match... the daughter of a peasant and the illegitimate son of a prince.
Perfect! Apparently.
The wording of her letter was enough to tell me and Aaryan exactly what we needed to hear to know what my mother-in-law thought of Maya.
And one can imagine how infuriated the woman was when Aaryan wrote back to her with a simple, but stern, 'no.'
I didn't know how much Karthik knew about this, but the way he looked at my daughter seemed to suggest he knew all of it.
I let out a silent sigh.
After Karthik bowed and walked off towards Aathavan, I stood and watched with narrowing eyes as the two seemed to whisper to each other, but before I could think too much of it, some noblewomen who wished to speak to me approached me with loud voices and happy laughs.
So I turned to them and let my daughter walk away from me, probably to join her own friends or her brothers... whoever, just to get away from her embarrassing mother.
As the festivities went on, however, my throat ached from all the talking I had to do, and though I was looking for Aaryan so that I could take a break with him, I noticed my daughter pouting, on her own, next to a door that led to a hallway which led to the kitchen.
I was making my way towards her, wondering why she was standing alone, when I saw an arm grab her and tug her back into the hallway. My heart jumped into my throat in a panic as I rushed towards the door, wondering which fool would have the nerve to touch my daughter, but just as I reached the door, I heard the frustrated voice of my daughter. "You are a pig, you know that?"
Then I heard Muthu laugh.
I paused, brows shooting up on my forehead.
"You could have written at least once."
"I'm sorry," his voice sounded humored. "I only didn't write to you out of respect for your father."
"Respect or fear, you coward?" My daughter snapped.
He stuttered, and I could imagine the boy looking embarrassed.
"Six month's, Muthu... what if I had fallen in love with some other boy, what would you have done?"
"You wouldn't have," was his comeback and I could hear the smile in his voice. "You've already told our families that we're getting married."
I placed a hand on the door, listening quietly, a surprised smile forming on my face. I knew that they fancied each other, but I didn't know they were already a young couple. To be honest, I was a little offended that my daughter had not mentioned it.
"I was like, five!"
"No you weren't-"
"Let go of me," she ordered. "You warriors are all the same, big muscles and tiny brains."
Muthu laughed. "Alright, next time I'll write... even if your father threatens to come and cut my head off, I will write."
My daughter fell silent, and I imagined her looking at the boy with that silly pout of hers. "You better... or my father won't be the one you'll need to be worried about."
I placed a hand over my mouth and chuckled quietly as I stepped away, letting the love birds have their privacy. I would confront Maya later.
My heart fluttered a little at the thought of young love, and as I turned around to go find Aaryan, like I had initially planned, I realized he was already making his way towards me.
"There were four nobles eyeing our daughter," Aaryan said. "Should I kill them?"
I snorted. If only he knew. I would tell him... maybe not now though. Instead, I took his hand in mine and kissed it. "Trust your daughter to make good decisions for herself," I said to him. "She's smart, love." And sneaky.
Aaryan sighed. "All of these men..." he ran his fingers through his hair. "None of them seem... good enough."
"It's a father's job to think that no man is good enough for their daughter."
"What are you talking about," he said. "Your father liked me."
"Doesn't mean he thought you were good enough."
Aaryan looked like he was going to argue with me, but just as he opened his mouth, I heard loud shouts and a crash as a table toppled over. Both Aaryan and I looked quickly in the direction of the sound as the room silenced, and when I saw Aaruvith, my now thirteen year old son, pointing his sword at the neck of his cousin Karthik, my heart stopped.
Aathavan sprinted across the room, grabbing his fuming younger brother when they reached him, and for a moment, I watched, frozen in shock and my youngest child shouted angrily, trying to fight out of his older brother's grasp, his face red.
I had never seen him like this.
The room was beginning to silence, and it silenced just in time to hear the end of his angry shouts. "You think I care what he thinks of me?" My son spat at the other boy, who was being held back by General Sivakasi and a couple other guards. "Why should I care when he doesn't treat me like a son anyways?"
Maya was in front of him now... I didn't even know she had run past me. She took her brother's face in her hands. "Hey, hey," she calmed him. "Aaru, come on..."
The boy was taking heaving breaths, and as he returned to his senses, Maya took his sword from him and handed it to Muthu, who was close by. She then took his face in her hands again and made him look at her, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "What's gotten into you?"
Aaryan made his way towards them. "What happened?"
But the moment he spoke, Aaru began fighting again. He fought out of the grasp of his siblings before pushing past his father and walking away. I tried to stop him, grabbing his arm, but he tugged it away and left. I stood there, staring in shock.
When I turned back to Aaryan, he looked at me in confusion before frowning. He then began to follow him, stopping next to me for a moment and squeezing my shoulder with his hand. "I'll go talk to him." Before he could leave though, I grabbed his arm and looked at him sternly. "Aaryan," I said. "You know what this is about."
My husband looked at me for a moment and then sighed before nodding.
As he left, Maya and Aathavan both went after him too. I considered stopping them, letting Aaryan have a moment alone with Aaru, but my focus fell on Karthik first.
I had no idea what he said to my son, but I walked over to him, trying not to glare because I had so many eyes on me. When I reached him, I put hands on his shoulders, trying to look calm and grateful that the maids had already began cleaning the mess, creating more noise so it would be easier for my words to remain between the two of us.
"Karthik," I started, "I don't know what you said to Aaruvinth but let me give you a word of warning... you are not liked or trusted by many people here in the court. You are permitted here because the Maharajah believes that you have potential and could be different from your father. If you want to keep it that way, it would be extremely wise for you to not be causing such scenes."
"I was just talking to him."
I looked at him, still frowning. "I know what it's like to be treated like an outsider. If you want that to stop, you need to be the one who is careful."
With that, I turned to follow Aaruvinth and the rest of my family, but not before smiling my apologies at the worried looking Anbu and asking Aayu to get the festivities going again.
As I rushed after my family, I felt my heart sink, remember the look on Aaru's face.
It looked too familiar.
It looked too much like Aaryan at his worst.