Just wanted to make it «public» or whatever to you all so people don't wonder why its lacking of updates. Im exhausted and dealing with a lot personally. Christmas times is fun and all for most people. For me too, there is people in far worse situations than me, I'm a really grateful girl in that way. But for me there still is negatives and a lot of stress and somewhat pain in a way coming with an holiday. So without getting further into that cause that really doesn't need to be in the internet.
So I'm sorry, I really genuinely am that its lacking of updates. Its not something I'm just saying I really truly am, and I'm so grateful for every single one of you who read my story. Im currently the most read Seaniana Fanfic and that puts a smile on my face. But that again wouldn't happen without you all and I'm thankful for that.
So its known for everyone there won't be any new chapters on tuesday or Wednesday. As tuesday is «the day before christmas» and Wednesday is christmas where I live I just want to just haft to deal with.. Eh a certain other situation in my life. But thursday and friday I may have some spare time depending on how much energy I have with the stuff going on those days.
Wow what a long A/N but it was necessary. Lastly I just want to wish you all a happy Christmas or Hanukah, or whatever else you might celebrate and a happy New Year if for some reason I don't get to update before 2015 but I hope to get at least one more chapter out before then.
Also lastly I know this isn't the longest of chapters but its better than nothing
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-Ariana's POV-
Right now we are at the Venue for the Bambi Awards in Berlin packing up. It was not like any other award show I've attended ever. It was weird in a way pretty boring to be honest but I was here to do a job and I did.
Sean still Hasn't texted me back after I texted him last night and its starting to worry and bug me. I know he is working but not 24/7 around the clock cause I saw a pic of him hanging at home with Zeno.
Honestly don't think even a simple one line text even is to much to demand?!
Im not begin a crazy demanding girlfriend am I?
No Ariana! No! Don't do that to yourself! Don't!
After a lot of bickering with myself I settle on not calling or texting him until I'm back. I would of turned my phone off but cant for work purposes.
«Ariana could you stop pulling your hair out? Its not going to help. You're a lot stronger than this. Don't let your world fall apart because of a boy. Come on we gotta go catch a flight to Amsterdam.» Jones had a concerned look all over his face.
Looking up at him I say «you don't think the rumors about him cheating on me is true right?»
He looked lost of words and was debating what to say. Before he could say anything I speak again «i need you to tell me that he isn't and that its all lies. I need you to tell me that»
He sits down next to me an looks at me «look. I don't think he is cheating on you Ariana he doesn't seem like he would do that to you. But I don't know him like you do, and I think that you can tell better than anyone if he is cheating on you or not, or if you have anything to worry about at all. I cant tell you what to do or how to feel cause its your life and your relationship and I really don't want to get involved in that cause thats your business. But if you fell like something isn't working you gotta work it out, don't make him get worried about you not talking to him cause he is a guy and won't get it unless you say something. Just tell him how you feel and go from there. Don't worry about him getting mad at you for even thinking that, if he does he is not the guy for you. This might not be what you wanted to hear but its all I can tell you»
Wiping away a couple tears who where trilling down my face he gets up «but now we haft to leave, come on»
Leaning down he pick me up and carry me bridal style to the car all wrapped into a blanket and all that. No one was there to see it other than people from my team but they had understanding written all over their faces.
**24 hours later **
Getting into the private yet once again I sit in the back. Over the radio someone say «attention passengers we will take of in about an hour heading to New York City.»
An hour? Maybe thats a sign I need to text Sean? I really cant keep doing this cause its messing with my head. Why do guys do that? Its not nice!
Ariana - Hi Sean. Was going to ignore you and talk when I get back to LA. Still am btw, but I need to get this out of the way cause I don't want you to feel what I've been feeling for the last 2days when you haven't called or texted me. I get that you are working and I have 0 problems with that but even a simple one line text isn't too much to ask for tbh. People are attaching me about if the Cheating rumors are true and I would like to believe they aren't. But honestly Sean if they are don't bother answering me at all. This is messing with my head, not just this situation but all of it. If this is some sort of sign you want to break up or something just tell me please cause if you're not in this there is no point in pretending cause that will only make it worse. We really need to talk when I get back. I still love you. Bye..
I don't know about anything right now. All I know that something is not like its supposed to be and I cant keep living like this. Ive got to protect my heart. Maybe I'm overreacting but that doesn't matter. If we take little things like this as nothing it will only become a snowball effect and I don't want that.
@ArianaGrande: leaving Europe. Thanks everyone for having me! Had so much fun! Now of to NYC to see @FrankieJGrande slay it on B-way!
@ArianaGrande:
Baby, you sound good to me
Baby, you sound so good to me
Mm-m-mm like a melody
Baby, you sound good to me
(A/N that ^ song really don't have anything to do with the story at all but I really like it and was listening to it wile wring this so bare with me. QOTD: who sings that song and whats it called)
Just as it seems like I haft to go yet another day without a response from Sean he text me back 10minutes after I pressed send to him.
Sean - Ariana, Baby. Whats going on in that pretty head of yours? Im so, so sorry I haven't responded to you I really am. Ive been really busy literately sleeping in the studio but thats no excuse to making you this upset. Since I didn't hear anything more from you I thought that It wasn't a big deal but I was wrong this time and I'm really sorry. Im not NOT cheating on you I wouldn't do that to you ever. Don't ever doubt that. Nor am I breaking up with you, never. But we do need to talk when you get back here cause I don't want you to be stressed because of me or feel like this ever. Love you too. Have a safe flight. Please text me when you land in NYC so I know you're safe. I love you so, so much. Bye baby girl
A smile crept up on my face 'he cares he really cares' and yes that may sound stupid but I couldn't care less. Ive been burned and scared in relationships before and I really don't want to see my heart broken this year again.
Ariana - thank you baby. Love you much so. Promise to text you. Haft to go now bye love <3 xoxo
Shutting my phone of I still have a smile on my face. A wave of calmness flow over my body and I lay my head down to sleep. Its magical how one text from Sean can wipe my worries some what away. What an effect that guy has on me! I love him so much. But it also worries me because what if we aren't meant for forever? What will happen if I haft to go on without him? Im already struggling as it is but he keeps me from falling. Only time will tell. But I do know I need to learn to stand on my own two feets.
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Kinda a somewhat Sad chapter but cant be happy always. If you didn't read the A/N on the top please do :)
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-Xoxo Christina