Elijah
"Hey bud," mum said, sitting on the floor beside me, "Do you fancy a plain biscuit or something?"
"No,"
"Okay,"
"Sorry,"
"You don't need to be sorry. I heard you had a tough morning, I'm glad you got that,"
"I'm sorry for being a bad kid,"
Instead of saying anything, she put her arm around me and kissed my head, scratching my head. Strangely, she sniffed, and I looked up to see her tearing up.
"You're not a bad kid," she said, shaking her head, "Don't let people tell you that you're a bad kid because you don't fit in with what they want. Dad and I love you lots, even if you've only been here a few days,"
"Okay,"
"I'm sure things haven't been easy for you lately, but we are here to love you. Our main priority is just to love you and show you that. We choose to invite people into our home, and you deserve to be here,"
"I'm tired,"
"You can have a sleep, it's only me, Kaykay and Sierra here. I'll wake you up later and we can pick up Jasper and Lauren,"
"So you really don't think I'm bad?"
"Not at all. Do you think that will help you feel more settled in, like you can be part of our family?"
"That's a big question,"
"I'll leave it with you,"
Tucking me in, she left to go into an office, and I feel asleep shortly after. My whole body felt weak and tired, and I was mentally exhausted from everything.
Mum came back and woke me up a little bit later, and I sat up, my head spinning. She looped her arm through mine and we walked out of the building, into her car.
"Did you have a good nap?"
"Yeah,"
"Good. I got a message to say your packages have arrived which is exciting,"
"What if nothing fits?"
"Then we send it back and order again,"
I sat in the front of the car and took a sip of water, watching out the window as we drove towards Lauren's nursery. When we got there, mum went to pick her up, and she got into her car seat with the biggest smile ever.
About school, which I wouldn't understand.
"Mummy, I have a card!"
"You what?! That is so beautiful,"
"It's my hand as a chicken,"
"Yeah, I can see. You're very good at art,"
Erupting into giggles, she kicked her legs up and down as mum strapped her in the car.
"Get Jasper please,"
"We're on the way,"
"I want Jasper,"
"Lauren, you do this everyday!" she chuckled.
"Elijah feels better?"
"Not really," I sniffed, "But I haven't been sick,"
"Mummy, I made Elijah feel better in the night,"
"Dad told me, you're very kind,"
As we pulled up to the high school, I gulped, and watched all the kids walking out. There were so many of them, and they all had friends- I wouldn't fit in.
Jasper got in the car and Lauren squealed happily, playing dolls with him all the way home. Completely opposite, I was trying my best not to throw up, and headed to bed as we got through the door.
Mum brought my packages through but we agreed to look tomorrow. Instead, she laid beside me and properly hugged me.
"I don't think I can go to school,"
"Why not?"
"I can't,"
"Can you give it a go? You can be addressed as Elijah if we say so, even if it's not your legal name yet,"
"So people will know I'm Elijah?"
"Yep,"
"I don't feel like I pass, though,"
"Well tomorrow you can try on your clothes, and we will figure some things out if you are struggling, okay bud? You're probably not going to school for a few days, maybe Friday so you can have one day to figure it all out and have a fresh start on Monday,"
My brain was too mushed to be able to argue, so instead I just shut my eyes and melted into the hug. Their hugs were nice.
Dad came home and was occupied by Lauren, who made him play music on his phone for the dolls to dance to, and then he came upstairs to my room with a bag.
"I stopped by the store to pick up some treats. This is your medicine, and I got you some tomato soup for tonight, but when your stomach is settled you can have these sweets and ice lollies,"
"You bought them for me?"
"Yeah, how have you been?"
"Thankyou,"
I looked at him and he smiled, crouching beside me with my hand in his.
"That's okay, we will always get you what you need,"
"Please can Jasper come in?"
"He's just doing homework, but after you've eaten perhaps you two can chill in the playroom,"
"Elijah was saying earlier that he feels like he's been given a reputation, by his social worker and other homes, but I don't think he's a bad kid at all," Crystal said, "Perhaps we could talk about that briefly all together?"
"Do you want know what Crystal and I understood from your profile?"
"Yes please,"
He kissed my head and sat on the end of the bed, holding mum's hand.
"We got the impression that you struggle a bit with school, and adapting to new places. However, after conversations with you, we think that you've never been able to express and understand yourself freely, which is so hard on you as a teenager especially. Do you agree?"
"Yeah,"
"So we don't think you're a bad kid,"
"But I've had detentions and had a failed adoption,"
"Well we'll try not to get detentions, but you're a kid. You're not perfect, we aren't perfect," mum said.
"We reward you for effort and grades at the end of each term, but we don't mean that they have to be straight A grades. Asking you to get an A grade in a subject that you genuinely cannot is way too stressful,"
"I've never had an A grade,"
"And that's okay," dad said, "That's okay. Mum and I are going to cook, then you and Jasper can chill out yeah?"
They both left me, mum letting me watch some youtube on her phone while they cooked; when it was done, I went downstairs and sat by my bowl of soup, Lauren next to me with a plate of pasta and chicken.
"Hello Elijah,"
"You're so weird," Jasper snorted, "That's so creepy,"
"Why?"
"Just is,"
"I can't say hello?"
"You can say hello, cutie pie," mum said, "Don't let him tell you what to say,"
"Okay, I just wanted to say his name,"
"That was very thoughtful," dad said, "What happened in nursery today then?"
"I played with all my friends,"
"Anything else?"
"No,"
"Well I got a phone call today saying that you pushed another girl over,"
"She said I was never going to be a princess,"
"She shouldn't have said that darling, but you don't push people over," he said, "Can you say sorry tomorrow?"
"No,"
"Lauren, sweetheart, we have to say sorry when we make mistakes. Mummy and I are very upset because you do not hurt people,"
"I will say sorry,"
"Good,"
"Jasper, are you gonna play video games with Elijah after tea?" dad asked, making me blush a little as I should've had the guts to ask myself.
"Sure. I got an award today,"
"You did, what for?"
"Most improvement in maths for last term,"
"Well done bud, that's so good," mum said, kissing his cheek, "That's really good,"
"Money!" Lauren shouted.
"Yeah, he does get something," dad chuckled, "He gets to choose whatever he wants. Elijah, would you like grandma and grandad to come over tomorrow to look after you?"
"I don't know,"
"It's either that or the office I'm afraid. You can stay in your room, they'll just be here to make sure you're okay,"
"Okay,"
"I like grandma and grandad," Lauren said, "Lots,"
"That's good,"
"They show me your baby photos and tell me stories!"
Dad rolled his eyes and she giggled, tipping her plate towards her. Stopping it, I pulled her chair closer and she shovelled the food into her mouth like there was no tomorrow.
When we were all done, we cleared up our plates and Jasper took me to the playroom, laying down on the sofa; he pat the space beside him and I laid there, sighing.
"Still feel like shit?"
"Yep,"
"Damn, I'm sorry. Can I help at all?"
"No,"
"Your clothes came today, right?"
"I'm trying them tomorrow, can we play a video game?"
"Yeah, we can,"
He turned it on and I grabbed a controller, briefly leaning onto his side as it loaded. Both of us played quietly as Lauren was getting settled for bed, but the quiet was nice. Even if Jasper was only a year older than me, having a big brother was turning out to be something I loved.
I got a protector, and no matter how kind mum and dad were to me, I needed him to make sure that stuck. As long as he was by my side, I'd be okay.