Pain and anger was evident in Ravn's eyes as he ran through the corridors of the hospital while Gabrielle trailed behind him, worried.
They were both nearing the ICU and Ravn could finally see his mother's husband and their son. Mr. Lee was pacing back and forth around the ICU door while his son is crying on the chair.
"Mr. Lee!" Ravn stopped running, panting as tears struggled to escape from his eyes. "Where's mom? I need to see her."
Ravn wanted to enter the ICU to see her but Mr. Lee stopped him. "You cannot go in yet, Ravn. Let's wait. Please."
"What happened to her?" He asked, his heart was beating so fast.
Mr. Lee rested his back on the wall behind him, taking a deep breath. "Your mother... She overdosed herself with antidepressants."
Ravn's lips parted.
"She's depressed. She was actually broken in the middle of our marriage but she made through it. I think it came back when you both met. After some days of your meeting, she's been crying. She also tried self-harm. That's why I also started to call you. She was getting worse and worse throughout the years. We had her checked up and prescribed medication for her depression. She tried to do this before yet I was on time to save her, but now... I came too late to save her. And probably I won't be able to see her again."
Everything sunk into Ravn's head. The thought of this happening to his mom because of him made his heart clench. The thought of their meeting four years ago being the last time they've ever talked made him feel his heart being ripped away from his chest.
He shook his head. This might be the last day. And he still hasn't tell her he's sorry. And that he still loves her.
He ran away from the ICU, ignoring the people he bumped along the way, while tears streamed down on his face. Gabrielle followed him suit. Ravn ran through the the Hospital Garden until he reached the end of it with a high wall full of vines. His hand rested on the tree as he panted. He started hitting the tree out of anger, his fists starting to have wounds.
Gabrielle who almost lost him in the Garden found him because of his repeated screams of pain. She saw him hit the tree while he screams and cries. The sight made her heart ache. She ran towards Ravn and tried to stop him.
"Ravn, enough. Please. You're hurting yourself!" Gabrielle pleaded. He didn't listen to her so she hugged him and held his wrist. Ravn stopped hitting the tree but his cries of pain never stopped. He dropped down on the ground.
Gabrielle crouched down, still holding onto him. This was the first time she saw him cry and even this much. She indeed knew he was was really broken but seeing it in real life, seeing him finally unravelling himself, just hits her differently.
"It's all my fault. It's all my fault." Ravn repeatedly said while Gabrielle caressed his back.
She whispered soothing words to Ravn, telling him that it's not his fault and that everything will be okay. He buried his head on the crook of her neck, his arms embracing her waist tightly.
"I shouldn't have said those words to her, Elle. I'm so selfish. I only thought of my own pain." He gripped on her shirt as he let it all out.
"My words... They must have struck her so much. It must have stabbed her so many times even in her sleep. I-I thought she was doing well when she had her new family. I thought I was the only one in pain. I'm so selfish, Elle."
Gabrielle caressed his hair and shook her head as if he could see it. "No. Ravn, you're not selfish at all. You were broken and blind with pain. I couldn't blame you too. You just had too much pain to handle. Yes, you forgot to look at her side but that doesn't mean you're selfish, okay? You both didn't see each other's pain."
"It was already right there. Four years ago. That was the sign. That was the sign that I should have forgotten everything and embraced her."
"Everything happens for a reason, Ravn. Four years ago, you were filled with rage when you saw her. Fate knew that it wasn't the right time to bring you together. Fate has decided to give you time until I came here and gave you the light to face her again." Ravn pulled away from Gabrielle, but still not pulling out from the hug. They just looked at each other.
Ravn's eyes were bloodshot red from crying and sweat was dripping down from his head, his hair sticking onto his forehead. "If you hadn't come into my life, I would never have thought of facing her. But still I'm too late. I should have listened to you the first time you gave me my phone."
Gabrielle wiped away his tears with both of her hands and let him rest his back on the tree. She sat to his right, resting her back on the tree as well.
She let Ravn's head rest on her left shoulder as they watch the people walk their way through the garden.
"Regrets are always felt at the last. And they're one of the worst because they all feel like a slap from reality because of our foolish acts. That slap will leave a painful sting on our face, until it spreads down to our heart. It spreads into our hearts while we watch everything crumble down."
She took Ravn's right hand and brushed the blood and dirt away with the hem of her white dress. "However, even after the slap of regret, there's always a small light trying to peer into our hearts. It was almost invisible to our eyes but it is there to tell us that there is still a way to fix it. Once you see that small light, you start to grab it and widen the hole to let it shine widely within you."
Ravn's eyes were closed as he listened to Gabrielle's words, but his tears were still there. It flowed silently down his cheeks.
"And you know what? I saw that small light just in between those rocks that were suffocating your heart. I believe this isn't the end, Ravn. Everything will be okay. I assure you. Trust your strongest guardian angel, okay?"
When Ravn didn't answer, Gabrielle concluded he fell asleep. His eyes must have felt heavy after all the crying and the pain. She held his right hand, their fingers intertwined. Her right hand caressed the wounds on his hand.
She rested her head against his with a smile on her face. "I'm so proud of you, Ravn. You let your pride down and faced the biggest pain of your life. You're so strong."
°°°°°
"Ravn." A familiar voice called Ravn, waking him up
He soon realized he's at the carousel. The carousel and the amusement park is the same as years ago, but Ravn wasn't a kid. It was his present self.
"Did I just time travel?" Ravn asked himself as he walked around the park, his face contorting into confusion.
"Ravn!" He heard his mom call him. He turned around but he couldn't see her.
"Ravn!" She calls out again. This time, louder. Ravn turned around to look for the voice that repeatedly called for his name until he felt dizzy as it grew louder and louder. He covered his ears when he started to feel scared. The world was spinning so fast around him.
He couldn't see anything clearly. Everything was moving too fast that he felt dizzy. The voice, it pierced through Ravn's mind even though his ears were blocked with his hands. The voice bounced through his mind, hitting his skull as if it wants to go out after invading it.
Ravn closed his eyes tightly, his hands still covering his ears. "Mom!"
Everything went silent so Ravn opened his eyes to find the world going back to normal. When he saw people going around normally, he removed his hands from covering his ears and saw his mother back at the carousel. She was holding two cotton candies in her hands while looking around.
"Mom?" Ravn called out, his eyebrows meeting in confusion. His mom turned around and as soon as she saw Ravn a few meters away she let out a sigh of relief. She walked towards Ravn.
"Where have you been!? I told you to stay there at the carousel! I told you I'll be right back but you just disobeyed me!" His mother looked like she was about to cry. "I thought I lost you."
Ravn's lips parted at what's happening.
"I-I'm here mom. I'm sorry for disobeying you." He apologized and his mother shook her head. She calmed her breathing. "It's okay. I was just scared for a moment. Here, I got us cotton candies now."
Ravn took the other cotton candy and looked at her mom eating hers.
"Hey. You didn't tell me you already have a girlfriend." His mother looked at him, her eyes looking at him with suspicion. Meanwhile, Ravn looked confused. "Girlfriend?"
"Oh, come on! Stop hiding it. I even thought you brought her here. What's her name again? Gabrielle?" His mother looked at the sky as if it'll confirm her guess.
"How do you know her?"
"Aha! I'm correct!" His mom pointed at him while she grinned. "You thought you could hide it from me? Hah, you bet! You better let me meet her, Ravn."
Ravn was so confused of what has been happening but in the midst of it, he got to smile. If this was a dream, he'd still be happy. He never had this kind of conversation with his mother. It made his heart feel the warmth he's been looking for. The warmth from his mother.
°°°°°
Ravn slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was his hand intertwined with Gabrielle's. Her other hand was on top of their intertwined ones, resting after she was caressing it earlier. He slightly turned his head and watched Gabrielle's sleeping face.
He remembered everything she told him when he broke down. How she hugged him and comforted him. She saw him turn into a mess but she stayed by his side and ignored his selfishness and pride. Just like before, she made him see life brightly. He found another small light this time and he's sure to let out all the rocks inside his heart to give way for the light to shine widely inside him.
Once again, Gabrielle saved him.
Ravn stared at her intently and felt his own face inching closer with hers. Gabrielle's eyes slowly fluttered open, her eyes instantly making eye contact with Ravn's puffy ones.
She didn't even jump. She just stared at him silently, even when their faces are so near at each other. None of them spoke a word or moved. They just stared at each other over the sound of winds and birds.
When she didn't react to their closeness, Ravn closed his eyes to meet her lips. She closed her eyes too, knowing what is about to happen. She doesn't even feel the need to protest, because she also felt her heart strings being pulled. Does she even need to fight this?
Yet when their lips were just about a centimeter away, Ravn's phone rang. It startled the both of them that they both sat properly and cleared their throats. Their intertwined hands were now undone and Ravn took his phone to answer the call.
"Mr. Lee?" Ravn said, trying to make his voice sound normal than raspy. "Is something wrong?"
"No, none at all, Ravn." He said on the other line. "The doctors said she's stable and luckily the drugs didn't fully take over her system. She'll be awake soon."
Like a burden finally lifted from his heart, Ravn sighed in relief. He began to cry once again, but this time, because of joy. Gabrielle looked at him, worry starting to rise within her. Ravn shook his head and gave her a reassuring smile, that nothing's wrong. She nodded, feeling relieved as well.
When their phone call ended, Ravn instantly pulled Gabrielle into a hug. "Elle, everything's fine! You're right. Mom's okay. She's going to wake up soon."
Gabrielle's lips formed into a smile as she caressed Ravn's hair and back. "I told you, right? Everything will be fine. This is now your chance to make things okay."
"Thank you so much for everything, Elle. You really gave me strength all these days, especially today."
"You're welcome. I'll always be here for you. For you all. Until the end."
°°°°°
Two days passed by and Ravn received another call from Mr. Lee, telling him his mom finally woke up. It was like this since yesterday, they visit her from time to time and receive updates from Mr. Lee.
Ravn and Gabrielle rushed to the hospital and up to their room. Without knocking, Ravn entered the room and found his mom talking with Mr. Lee.
His mom looked at the intruder and tears began to form in her eyes at the sight of her son in front of her. He walked towards her and pulled her into a tight hug, crying once again. "Mom, I'm so sorry."
His mother started to burst out crying as she hugged him back. "I'm sorry too, Ravn. My son, I'm so sorry."
Mr. Lee stood up and took their child by the hand to leave the two of them alone. Gabrielle followed suit, giving one glance at them. She met his mother's eyes and gave her a smile before leaving. She closed the door and patiently waited for them outside.
Ravn pulled away and sat down beside her. He held his mother's hand and pressed it on his cheek. "I'm so sorry for everything, mom. For saying hurtful words to you. For hating you all these years. You must have suffered a lot because of me."
"I completely understand you, Ravn. I would understand it if you can't ever forgive me for abandoning you, but I just want to be with you even if you hate me."
"I don't hate you, mom. I really love you. So, so much. I forgive you and I'm willing to forget everything that has happened before. Please forgive me too for saying such hurtful words."
"If there's one person who needs to say sorry, it's me. I gave you so much pain and pushed you to feel that way."
Ravn squeezed her hand. "We really both hurt each other but I'm so glad I was given the chance to fix everything."
"I'd say the same. I guess this was the reason why I didn't get to leave. You finally came back."
He smiled. "Yes, I came back, mom. If it wasn't for that girl, I wouldn't feel the slap of what I'm missing."
"The girl you were with?"
"Yes. She was the one who kept on telling me to stop ignoring you and that I should face this. When I thought you are finally going to leave, she gave me strength just like the rest of the days. She told me that you won't be leaving."
"She's like your guardian angel."
"She's indeed an angel, mom. She's a blessing. She's the most amazing girl I've ever met. When we met, my dull world just became brighter. Whenever I see her, everything just stops as if they're also looking at her."
"You sound so in love, my son." His mother smiled, as he watched him talk about Gabrielle so happily. "Can I meet her?"
Ravn's brows rose before he nodded. "Sure, mom. Wait a minute." He stood up and walked to the door. "I'll also let Mr. Lee and Seongmin in. I didn't properly know them."
He urged Gabrielle, Mr. Lee, and Seongmin to come inside the room.
"Seungwoo, I know you already know him, but this is Ravn. Seongmin, he's your older brother, say hi."
Seongmin shyly waved his hand and Ravn kneeled to his level and offered his hand. "Hi, Seongmin. I'm Ravn. I hope we really get along, okay?" The little kid took his hand and shook it, shying away behind his father.
Ravn chuckled at how shy he was. He stood up and held Gabrielle's hand. "Everyone, this is Gabrielle. She's my..."
How will I put this?
"Girlfriend?" His mom continued for him making both Gabrielle's and Ravn's eyes widen. "No!" They both answered, looking so defensive. Ravn cleared his throat and composed himself. "Well, not yet. But soon."
Gabrielle just gave him a weird look, but still she wasn't able to hide her smile. "You're really thinking ahead of yourself, aren't you?"
"Why? We're just going on that path. Besides, I've chosen you already." Ravn said with a smirk. Gabrielle's face slowly felt red so she rolled her eyes. "Don't embarrass me in front of your family."
Everyone laughed as Ravn snaked his arm on Gabrielle's waist giving her a forehead kiss.
Ravn was possibly the happiest today. He finally fixed everything with his mom, he's with his new family, and he's with the person who gave him strength.