Esme saunters into the Monastery for the first time in a decade, immediately tasting the stale air that once smelt like fresh flowers, tearing up at the sight of the familiar light brick walls and the intricate carvings of lotus flowers carved into them.
She'd had artists back home attempt to replicate the designs but they were never as perfect as she could see in her mind's eye. She feels the same sensation of loss stroking them now, summing it up to child nostalgia and gradual erosion from being uncared for all these years.
It's been a week since she moved the Monks back to the Monastery so she didn't expect them to clean up, especially with the weather acting up, but the dust in some parts of the structure coats the surfaces in a thick coat of grey.
She walks on the outsides of the courtyard leading up to the temple, avoiding the snow by taking the designated walkways, thinking back on the times they would gather underneath the exposed ceiling in the centre and dance whether it was snowing or not.
The men, women and children that once lived here had an easier time than most dealing with the extreme cold thanks to the fires that burnt inside each of them. The other Initials must have thought them crazy to choose to live here but then none of them would ever get to enjoy the true beauty of snow.
The smile on Esme's face dwindles, picking up speed, now fuelled with the desire to return this place to its former glory after a long week of dealing with people who are more interested in her ability to produce an heir and pick a husband.
For now she doesn't see herself having any children but the latter she is not opposed to. Ruling with someone by her side to the end has always been an appealing idea but the trusting part, that has always been the hardest hurdle to leap over.
She stops reminiscing about the past for a moment, walking towards one of the smaller buildings on the west side of the Monastery, walking into a dark room where she can vaguely make out the silhouette of a shrine.
"Et erit lux." Esme whispers the enchantment, setting each of the candles surrounding the shrine on fire which bathes the room in an amber hue. Her shadow casts across the wall as she gracefully strides towards the shrine.
She falls to her knees before the shrine, carefully adjusting the thin blue scarf covering her head, sitting in silence for three minutes before letting go of the golden urn sitting in her lap. "May your soul rest in creation...I'm miss you so much dad, I-"
The door creaks open wider and the tall shadow of the man continues to grow as he approaches the shrine, cutting Esme's moment to grieve short.
Ali waits for permission to stand alongside her, keeping his perfect posture as he helps her to her feet by offering his hand. "Please, continue my Queen."
"Crying in front of my Grandmaster? What would the Ladies and Lords of my court think if they found out?" she scoffs, going to wipe away her tears, her eyes widening once he pulls her hand back.
"If they were wise then your compassion would be valued as a strength, and not a weakness." he replies, gently tipping her chin higher.
"I see the new role is fitting you nicely."
Ali's right brow twitches at the complement. "I am undeserving of your praise, truly. The boy..."
"Yes, Cloud Jefferson, where is he? Has he made any progress?"
"No."
"So he's dying then?"
"Also, no."
Esme squints her eyes, wondering what exactly went on during her week of absence. "I'll go to see him now. Is he in the temple?"
Ali nods his head, opening his right arm towards the door as he steps aside. "He's been there the entire time."
Before leaving the room, Esme takes one last fleeting look at the urn, still struggling to let go of her conflicting emotions.
Upon entering the Fire temple, Esme finds Cloud seated alone and dressed in the same white gown as the others with his head hanging low. He sits in his own pool of his own water, shivering so violently she isn't sure that he hears them as they approach.
Ali informs her that they were forced to pull him out of the pool on day four since he showed now sign of improving whatsoever, breaking the previous record by two entire days, after refusing to drink or eat anything that they offered him.
"Anything else I should know?"
Ali smirks knowingly. "He has quite the way with words. Great at pushing buttons."
"And his eye," she utters, referring to the bruise above his right eyelid. "Is that what happened there?"
Ali tilts his head to the side, remaining silent as he tries to get a read on Esme whose dark eyes reflect the nearest flames. "Not all are as open to the idea of letting outsiders join our ranks as you may be my Queen."
"And what do you think?" she inquires, noting the awkward moment of silence as he considers her question.
"Times are changing, for better or worse I can not say."
Once Ali dismisses himself, Esme approaches Cloud, taking a seat in front of him so that they are now at eye level with one another. At first glance she wonders if she made a mistake bringing him here as he appears more run down than she would have thought after spending so much time in the Council meetings talking about him.
It's true, outside of the Royal lineages, the magic has been weakening generation by generation, but for some of her peers to view him as some sort of second coming of the old age of channelling...that just seems silly now.
"Since I got here...I've been wondering what kind of...sociopath would build a place like this in the mountains." Cloud voices, shocking Esme once their eyes meet and she sees life in them, letting out a quivering laugh that gradually turns into a spluttering cough. "They say you're the expert."
"To avoid the rain."
"I...don't...understand."
"That's right. You've been conjuring up flames out of thin air like it is as simple as breathing. Of course you wouldn't have noticed the counter balancing effects yet."
"Counter balance?"
Esme's earring rattle as she nods her head, rolling up her sleeves past her elbows. "We call it the Pendulum effect. Usually, when Initials channel, we're simply borrowing the element from the world around us, in which case, the world seeks out a way to balance the disturbance."
"Water quenches flames, fire rivals nature, nature rivals air, so on and so forth. In places like the South Silver Oak the Pendulum effect is almost non-existent since there are plenty of channelers with a variety of elements but in places like the Monastery, where we are all exclusively of the Fire Faction, the effects are severe and in many cases life threatening."
"But why wouldn't I have noticed?"
"Because for the most part I hear you use Creation magic. You're generating flames yourself, your power comes from within...it's impressive if not a little stupid." she remarks. "But up on the mountains it's too cold for rain and we don't get too many snow storms since our flames are keeping the general area warm enough to prevent that from happening."
Cloud thinks back to the night at the Hospital, remembering how freakishly powerful the rain was that night during and after his rampage. He reflects on how little he still knows about everything to do with this world, suspecting he would have already learned this by now if he was still at the Academy.
"Here. I want you to close your eyes and tell me what you hear."
Cloud closes his eyes and tries to emulate the same meditation practises that he's spent the entire week observing, resting his hands in his lap and sitting with rigid posture. It doesn't take his mind long enough to start picking up the minute details of his surroundings and is a welcome distraction that helps him temporarily forget how cold he feels.
"I hear the water."
"What else?"
Cloud shrugs his shoulders. "The wind I guess."
"Anything else?"
Cloud opens his left eye, finding it difficult to continue with all of the interruptions. "A Queen whose voice is distracting me from hearing anything else."
Esme simply shrugs off his words, letting out a beautifully rich laugh that convinces Cloud she'd probably be great at singing. "I never said I'd make it easy."
Cloud exhales through his nose and goes back to concentrating on what he can hear, listing off things as they pop into his mind. "I hear...a loose window constantly hitting against a wall whenever the wind picks up. They tried fixing it yesterday, even blamed it on a loose screw but even after replacing the screw it still wobbles off its hinges."
Esme smiles, speaking in a softer and lower tone as she leans towards him. "What else?"
"I hear the sound of rocks splitting as they trickle down the mountain. At first I thought they were bullets." he utters, licking his dry lips, unconsciously beginning to rock from side to side. "I hear voices chanting, most likely the Monks who disappear everyday between one and three after lunch. Ali will usually send someone every hour to come check on me but I can tell none of them like me very much."
"Why do you say that?"
"The Forbidden One...that's what they call me when Ali isn't around. They respect him a lot which is why they're so afraid of him too."
"I see."
Cloud frowns. "You're upset?"
"And what makes you say that?" she asks, her tone remaining levelled as she sits up.
"Your breathing pattern switched up after you held your breath for three seconds...and you haven't stopped tapping your nails since I told you."
Esme looks down at her hands, carefully separating them after being called out. "Do you know what colour my nails are?"
"Red."
"And my earrings?"
"Silver."
Cloud opens his eyes immediately after Esme clicks her fingers in front of his face, his vision looking spotty after having them closed for so long.
"Your perception of your surroundings is either a gift from the heavens or a skill you've developed on your own. Whilst impressive, it is also the exact reason you haven't figured out how to get your channelling abilities back."
Cloud sniffs when his nose starts running, clenching and unclenching his jaw after thinking he was finally making a breakthrough. "What exactly are you saying?" he inquires, eager to figure out a way out of this hell.
"You have a deep need to always be in control, even in situations where there's none for you to gain." Esme replies, taking his hands scrunched tightly into fists and gently opening his palms. "To understand what it means to wield fire, one must first submit to the Flame."
"You better hope you're not a betting woman because I'm terrible at riddles."
"We'll just have to wait and see, I suppose."