Jeon Wonwoo
The days went on and nothing new had come out of them. Mingyu, Hansol, Seungkwan, and I kept having lunch together and trying to hangout every time we had the chance.
Thursday had the sun rise and slowly fall beneath the horizon declaring a bold pastel masterpiece. The sky had made me think of the choices I am going to have to make when it comes to this new space, new school, new roads, new bridges, and new friends. I am realizing the exhaustion that comes with this anxiety and pain. I don't want it anymore. I want to move past this grudge I have against Mingyu. He hasn't told Hansol and Seungkwan yet, so maybe...just maybe...he won't say anything.
I began walking to the cafe a couple blocks away that stays open weirdly late. This was the first time I was going to meet Mingyu there with friends. I know Hansol went yesterday and they all wouldn't stop harassing me today to come tonight.
So here I am, walking steadily down these streets looking for the bright sign saying, 'Tom N Toms'.
I turned the last corner and finally came close to the sign. The cafe was upstairs and I could see Seungkwan sitting and Mingyu joining him. Mingyu began laughing and holding his stomach. Seungkwan must have said some thing good.
I stared for a moment and found my lips curled slightly and my cheeks heating up red. The swarm began in my stomach and I quickly looked to grabbed the flutter in hopes to silence it. I fixed my gaze back to the window of the cafe and sighed gently. The butterflies would not stop taking flight.
I don't understand. Mingyu is a guy. I know for a fact I shouldn't have these feelings for a guy.
I felt my world close in and all I could see was that wide smile and crinkles around his eyes. The way he held his stomach while laughing and wiping the tears from his eyes.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands grip my shoulders forcefully.
"You have no place here. I think you should just go home and kill yourself."
I tried to free away from him as he had pushed me against the wall holding the fabric of my shoulders roughly. We were just outside the school walls and every body was heading back home from a long day of studying.
"Let me go..." I said fearfully.
"Or maybe...I should just kill you myself."
A group of students had gathered around us cheering on the guy who was bullying me. He kept pulling me off the wall and back into it creating bruises on my shoulder blades.
"Please, just let me go home."
"Now, why would I let you go if I haven't finished the job? Now shut the fuck up. Don't you dare open your mouth again. You hear me?" He spit harshly.
I nodded desperately terrified of what was going to happen next.
He grabbed me and pushed me to the ground so hard that dust came flying up around me. He began to punch me and his other friends joined in with him. I was getting punched and kicked everywhere on my body. I tried to fight back but was only met with harder punches. I could feel my breath get stuck in my chest and felt my ribs push out. I was spitting up blood trying to get out their deathly grip. I was trying so hard to survive but it was no use.
"Let him go!"
"You're gonna kill him!"
I heard voices scream out in the crowd but my vision was too burry to see who was trying to help me.
I looked out across the blurry figures hoping someone would help but no one did. They just watched and laughed. My vision began closing in. I could feel my breathing getting weaker and weaker.
With one last blow,
I was gone.
I found myself on the ground holding my head with my shaky hands.
"Wonwoo! Are you okay?" I heard a voice.
His hand came to my back and I quickly calmed down. I looked up and realized it was Hansol.
"What is happening?"
I got up slowly, feeling out of it and trying to move steadily through this panic attack. I already showed Hansol too much.
"Yeah..Yeah I'm fine. I'm sorry. I don't know what just happened."
Hansol kept holding on to me with a worried expression. I didn't want to look into his eyes. I was scared he would see a fearful boy. I cannot be weak.
"I'm fine." I said sturnly pushing his hand off me.
"Wonwoo..."
I quickly left and ran back home.
I couldn't understand what had just happened. I was out of my body. I felt like I was there again the day I got beat up so bad, I almost died. I could feel everything, smell everything. I could feel the sweat running down my face. The achy sick feeling I had as he told me words that were heartless and unforgettable.
Kim Mingyu
I sat in the cafe with Seungkwan drinking a cold smoothie. He kept making dumb jokes as we waited for Hansol and hopefully Wonwoo. We spent the day at school trying to convince him to come tonight. I guess we will see if he shows up.
"Man, I could go for a good poop right now. That drink went straight through me!" Seungkwan sat back holding his stomach making funny faces.
I chuckled softly and looked outside the window and saw Hansol talking to Wonwoo downstairs on the dark street.
Hansol looked worried holding his shoulder. I saw Wonwoo take his hand off of him and he walked away quickly and then ran under each streetlight. Hansol watched as he left and then once he was out of sight he looked back to us and headed our way.
"Hey guys!" Hansol came in.
We all greeted him as he sat down with us. I watched to see if he would say anything to me about Wonwoo but nothing. He talked as if nothing had happened. I wanted to ask him but decided not to.
The night went on and we worked on homework and listened to music until they closed.
The Next Day
The morning seemed awfully cold for walking to school. The sky was filled with dark grey clouds with a frozen breeze sweeping through my clothes. I shivered and walked faster in hopes I'd warm up.
My first classroom was even colder than outside and I was praying for warmth of some sort. Seungkwan came and cuddled close to me also shivering. I happily accepted his cuddles and warmth.
"It...is...so...colddd," He struggled to speak.
Class soon started but I didn't see Wonwoo. I didn't see him for the rest of the day either. I began to worry. I'd stare off into his seat and think of all the ways or reasons he would skip school.
I hope he is okay.
Jeon Wonwoo
I spent the night wide awake. My mind wouldn't let me sleep. I felt like I had bruises all over me again and broken ribs. I was in pain and confused. I had to keep reminding myself where I was and what I have been doing the last few days. I could barely remember. I was anxious and I was having a hard time breathing.
My Mom came in and saw how distressed I was and came over to comfort me.
"Baby, what's going on?" She hugged me to her chest.
I began to cry and just fell into her.
"I had another flashback," I said quietly.
"What caused it, baby?"
"My friend just snuck up on me when I was deep in thought and I went back to the one day..."
"The one day?" She lifted my head.
"Yeah...the one day. When I passed out outside the school. And...and...you and Dad got divorced.
I felt her tense up beneath me. She didn't say anything but just held me tighter and kissed my head.
She stayed there with me and helped me fall asleep on that dark night.
She never let go of me.
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OOuch!