Octavia's guide to the hell that is the English
EXPLOIT
/ikˈsploit/
(v.) make full use of and derive benefit from (a resource).
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IMESSAGE GC
"I'M IN A BAND + ALLEN"
Gwilym (Bri 2.0)
Ben (Rogah)
Rami (Freddie)
Joe (Deacy)
Allen (not prenter)
Deacy
For the last time I 👏am 👏not 👏in 👏love with 👏Octavia
Rogah
Sounds like something someone in love with Octavia would say
Bri 2.0
My sister and my best friend are getting married
Just call me Ross Geller
not prenter
don't call yourself Ross, he's by far the worst character
Deacy
okay so no ones gonna mention that I'm NOT marrying Octavia or??
Freddie
No one's going to acknowledge it because we all know it's true
Rogah
Rami only speaks facts
Deacy
I deny that actually??
not prenter
Well of course YOU do but it's 4 to 1 so statistically you lose.
Deacy
I hate all of you and wish you all would collectively step on a lego ://
Rogah
stop being a lil bitch
Deacy
I AM NOT A LIL BITCH
Bri 2.0
Bitchboy
Freddie
You're being a lil bitch, Joseph
ROGAH renamed the group chat to JOSEPH STOP BEING A LIL BITCH
ROGAH renamed DEACY to LIL BITCH
Rogah
You're welcome :)
Lil Bitch
GO TO HELL YOU CAR FUCKER
Rogah
Umm it's 2017, I can love whoever I want ://
not prenter
Damn Joe stop discriminating
Bri 2.0
let him love whoever he wants
Lil Bitch
I AM THROWING MYSELF OFF OF THE LIVE AID STAGE
Rogah
Lil Bitch
do NOT mock me in pictures
not prenter
D R A M A T I C
Lil Bitch
I will pay you all to stop bullying me
Freddie
How much exactly?
Lil Bitch
5 each, at least for today guys please
Bri 2.0
Deal
Rogah
What do YOU need money for you don't go anywhere
Bri 2.0
Haven't decided yet
maybe drugs
Rogah
the only person doing drugs is Octavia
Lil Bitch
she does NOT
Bri 2.0
1) look at you standing up for your girlfriend :(
2) You weren't there for the conversation
Lil Bitch
Then where was I?
Rogah
getting your ~perm~
Lil Bitch
we do not need to talk about that
Freddie
Notice how Joe didn't make a snarky remark about Octavia being his girlfriend
not prenter
thank you rami for pointing that out
Bri 2.0
Yeah we should talk about that
Rogah
Joe are you... subconsciously thinking that Octavia is your girlfriend??
LIL BITCH has left JOSEPH STOP BEING A LIL BITCH
Bri 2.0
He's gonna go complain about us to his girlfriend :(
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"They bully me way too much." Joe complained about the group to Octavia as she was tuning his bass for him again.
They had gone through several takes of Live Aid and it was now midday, and while the boys were doing fantastic, they just haven't perfected it enough. And while they still hadn't found the perfect shot, they did manage to waste time in between those takes.
"You have a very bully-able face Joe." She gave a pouty face.
"You're supposed to be on my side!!" Joe argued.
"Oh am I? I don't even know what you guys were arguing about." She crossed her arms.
"It's not important I just need you to be on my side." He pleaded.
"Not until you tell me what they're 'so wrong about'" She air quoted.
"I can't let's just leave it at that."
"Because they're dumb or because they're right?"
"Because they're... dumb!" He finished
"You hesitated. Now I have to go ask Ben about it." She shrugged and jogged in Ben's direction to which Joe immediately followed suit.
"Oh benny!! My poor friend Joseph over there," She pointed behind her, "says that you guys were bullying him and that I'm 'supposed to be on his side' but he won't tell me what you guys were arguing about in the first place." She mentioned, which caught both Rami's and Gwilym's attention.
"I told you he'd complain." Gwil commented.
"We can't legally tell you, darling. Trust me I would if I could." Rami added.
"Sorry Oxy it's bro code." Ben shrugged.
"Bro code my ass. I hate you." She rolled her eyes and then pointed her finger at Ben.
"Why do you hate me so much?" Ben questioned, trying to fake sadness.
"Fine," She huffed, "I don't hate you, I don't particularly like you either."
"That still hurts me, deeply." He nodded his head and did his best puppy eyes expression.
"Benjamin, if you were a playing card, you'd be the instruction card everyone throws away." She rested her hand on the side of his shoulder in sympathy.
"Uh... guys help me out here!" Ben fought after hearing Octavia's insult.
"Why? Because you got absolutely demolished?" Gwilym questioned, stifling his laughter.
"It's okay Ben, you're a king in my deck." Rami added sympathetically.
"I ship it," Octavia commented.
"Oh sweetie, if only you KNEW the ships I ship." Ben added.
"Is... is that a threat?" Octavia asked Ben confused.
He just winked at her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
101,376 views
joe_mazzello: Yes we're so good at Live Aid that we learned this silly dance between shots. Forgive the crude language in the song!
view all 2,327 comments
username: this is gold
username: iconic??? absolutely
username: I'm pretty positive all 100,000 of these views are from me
via_leea: All of this work and you don't even give me credit? I suffered recording and watching this you know? Thanks for the PTSD.
⤷useraname: @via_leea @joe_mazzello i stan ONE couple
ramimalek liked your comment
⤷benhardy1: @username me too, me too
⤷joe_mazzello: @benhardy1 what's that supposed to mean??
brianmayforreal: Hey ! get back to work we have a concert to perform ! haha ! Bri
therealleech: Excuse me why wasn't I invited?
⤷mrgwilymlee: @therealleech band inquires only mate
⤷via_leea: @therealleech at least you didn't have to record it🤦🏻♀️
⤷benhardy1: @via_leea always something to complain about
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
NEWS ARTICLE
BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY PREPARES FOR FILMING
By: Blaire Lewis || headquarters
Recently, news has been spread across various of the actors' instagrams and twitters about the official filming date.
And while we're excited for the new Queen Biopic to hit theaters, here at the studio we're excited for something better. A budding relationship between Borhap's Joseph Mazzello and Bass instructor Octavia Lee, Gwilym Lee's little sister.
Now before you ask yourself "what?" here's the proof:
-starting off with several cutesy pictures of the two dating back to August.
-constant interactive comments on each other's instagram posts
-commenting off each other on other cast posts
-The whole entire cast shipping the two together
-and recently and more compelling, Octavia's breakup with local boyfriend, Christian Johnson
Oh yeah, we did the digging, and it seems to be that their "friendship" was amplified after the breakup considering that Octavias recent post of Joe with his actors chair is located in the dressing room, quite the intimate place for a couple of friends.
Now not to insinuate, but I think we have the first #borhapcouple on our hands. Tell us what you think on Twitter using #brorhapcouple.
See also: Another #borhapcouple? Lucy and Rami share intimate candle light dinner on instagram
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Incoming call from Amelia Badelia🧚🏻♀️
Connecting...
"Hello?"
"Amelia oh my god"
"So you saw it I'm guessing?"
"Saw it? It nearly blew up in my face."
"The audacity some people have."
"Amelia this is so much worse than that! This could ruin everything. Christian's going to think I exploited his name for fame."
"Trust me no one's happy about this. Where are you right now?"
"Off set, with Allen. He showed me the article actually. I don't even know who Blaire is or why she's so concerned about my life. People spread so many rumours now days."
"Do you want me to come get you? Has anyone else seen this monstrosity yet?"
"Stay close, but I think I'll be fine. And no the boys are still doing takes."
"Well that's good. We have to keep Joe as far away from this as possible."
"Amelia if this goes viral, we can never publicly be friends again, I mean I know everyone jokes about it but that's what those are, jokes. This girl is being serious, and no one will ever leave us alone about it. I'll never be able to date again."
"We'll cross that bridge when it comes. I just want to know how the sneaky bitch found out half the things she did."
"I have no idea and I'm about over it.... holy shit... my phone is blowing up with Twitter notifications."
"Are you serious? Oh my god. This is getting worse. Much much worse."
"Thanks for the support Deils. I think I'm going to have to tell Joe though, his phone is probably blowing up too."
"Yeah that might be the best decision."
"But thank you Amelia, for checking up on me."
"Forever and always. Love you."
"Love you."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She locked her phone and barely had time to stuff it in her pocket before she latched onto Allen by his unbuttoned flannel shirt and ultimately balled her eyes out into his shoulder.
It sucked, to put it simply. It sucked to be exploited for views, especially when it's built on lies. These words had no substance, and yet they hurt more than anything. Octavia had never had so much spotlight, and the attention she had now gave her a sunburn with intense UV poisoning.
It's funny how the words that mean the least hurt us the most.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The new and mysterious Blaire Lewis sat in the back of a particularly dim Cafe as she typed away on her computer. She had just earned her new journalist position in headquarters and was planning on making her first article a real show stopper.
She'd been keeping tabs on a very specific high school crush from New York, and when she found out about his new job in London, she knew exactly what to write about.
When she glanced up from her computer, she saw a blonde woman carrying on about a very personal topic, Blaire assumed. But the defining thing about the blonde was that she was the star of several Instagram posts made by Joe's bass instructor, Octavia.
And that's when inspiration hit. No one loves something more than a quite obvious but not yet confirmed relationship. And with Amelia's topic about Octavias breakup, she assumed it was with the beautiful barista she was blabbering to.
So when the dark haired man returned to his counter, she promptly stood up and ordered a coffee, taking a good look at his name tag. She then sat back down at her laptop and stalked every Christian until she found the one, Christian Johnson. Another recent visitor on Octavias page, but Blaire noticed something peculiar about the sudden Hiatus of his face, and definitely assumed she broke up with him.
And that's when she opened a tab to type out her new article, and cheered to all the over the top, obnoxious, and loud blond people of the world.
What a great day to unknowingly ruin someone's life.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Joe didn't see the article right away. He first got the hint that something was wrong when she didn't immediately greet him after his take. There was no smiling Octavia at the bottom of the side stage laughing her ass off at his poofy.
It didn't take long to find the article with it being messaged to him in every form you could possibly message someone. He didn't even care to read it, just skimmed over it and saw the bad parts that Octavia could've potentially freaked out over.
His initial response wasn't panic or devastation, it was worry. He was worried about the effect this would have on the girl, he was worried that she'd never want to talk to him again. He was worried that after a month of trying to suppress his feelings for her comfort, that he couldn't hide it any longer and she would hate him forever.
See, that was the defining quality between Joe and Christian, Joe simply cared too much for others. Caring people are hard to leave, hard to ditch, hard to say goodbye to. Joe wasn't Octavia's type because he had one feature she hated the most: easy to fall in love with.
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AN:: Octavia can never have a break can she? Well anyway, I've been watching hella movies so that's how I've been wasting my time. How about you all, how are you wasting your time during "quarantine"? (If you even wanna call it that anymore)
Ps: Stan Wes Anderson and Sam Rockwell for clear skin😌✨