Harry and I were at Rudy's for lunch, where we had been dancing around what happened between us a few nights ago. He kissed me, confessed that he wanted me, maybe hinted that he wanted to date me, and then asked if we could have sex—and I agreed. I had been waiting weeks for him to signal to me that he wanted more, but since he had we hadn't talked about it. "So...how is this going to work?" I pulled my iced coffee to my lips and took a long sip as I watched him rub the back of his neck.
"How is what going to work?"
"The sex..."
"Oh..." He chuckled uncomfortably, "yeah, that. Well, I figured...I don' know..we'd just have sex?"
"Oh, my God, you've really never done this before." I sat back against the booth, slightly surprised. He always swore that he had never just hooked up before, but I always thought that was kind of a lie. I knew he had hooked up with girls in bars or clubs and went on dates, but I thought that he would've had a consistent hookup at least once. Apparently, I was wrong.
"Well, we need rules." I announced.
"We do?"
"Yeah. I mean, we're not dating, right?"
"No." He shook his head before popping a fry into his mouth.
I ignored the way my heart dipped slightly and shoved the idea that I could be disappointed deep down where it belonged. "Well, then we need rules. That way, no lines get blurred and we can keep our friendship in tact because...I refuse to lose you as a friend and this could get complicated."
I tried to hide the slight fear in my voice, because this could get complicated. I was very aware that the boy in the blue jeans and white "America" t-shirt could completely crush me if I didn't shove the non-sexual feelings I was experiencing down deep.
Harry reached over and grabbed my hand, "That's not going to happen, Aud. We'll be fine."
I heaved a nervous sigh and he continued, "I'm serious. Look, I told you that I wanted you. That wasn't a lie. I've wanted you since I met you." I felt a blush rise on my cheeks. "We can do this. What are the rules?"
I pulled my small notebook out of my bag and a pen, "Rule number one: just sex—no dates, or talking about feelings."
"I can get behind that one, I guess. Wait," he held up his hand, "what counts as a date? Because I still want to hangout with you, and come here, and go to the movies, and the beach like we usually do."
"As long as it's not romantic, it's not a date."
"Got it." He gave a curt nod.
"Rule number two: when we're out with our friends, we're just friends—no benefits."
"I don't really understand, but fine."
I leveled him with a stare, "It just makes it less complicated for everyone, okay? Trust me, I've done this before."
"Oh, I know." Harry smirked.
"Rule number three: don't be an ass." I kicked his shin under the table and he laughed.
"How about: rule number three is that if we sleep with anyone else, we let the other know."
He wanted to sleep with other people too? I took a deep breath and tried very hard not to let that one bother me, "Good idea." I wrote it done reluctantly.
"What's the rule on kissing? Because I likes kissing you and would like to do it more often." I tried to stifle a laugh when I saw how serious he was, but that only made it harder to contain.
"What do you mean?"
"You know, like, am I allowed to kiss you...during? Can I kiss you at all?" I could tell he felt self-conscious asking.
"Of course you can kiss me—but, like, when we're messing around, like making out, foreplay, during, maybe after. If we're just hanging out as friends then you probably shouldn't."
"Slightly unfair, but I can live with that."
I tried not to read too much into his comment and wrote it down as rule number four. "I think that's it. We should be ready to go."
"That's only four rules! We need a fifth." He grabbed the note pad and started reading them over.
"Fine. Rule number five: don't fall in love with me." I smirked.
"Oh, trust me, Aud, I won't be the one falling." He smirked right back.
A bit later, Lucy and I were in my apartment and rifling through take out menus. I had work at eight and she insisted on us hanging out before hand since she felt unwelcome at the shop since Harry started coming again, claiming it was our "private time".
"I still can't believe you guys haven't fucked yet. It's been three days since the show, since he kissed you. Three. Days. And you've seen him! How have you guys not done it yet? I don't understand."
"Oh, my God, Luce. We've been over this already. We didn't do it the night of the show because we were both drunk and he was exhausted. We didn't do it Saturday because he was working on some final for him summer class; and we didn't do it last night because, I don't know we just didn't?" I pulled out menus from my three favorite places and handed them over to Lucy.
"I know, but—he said he wanted you! And the way you described the way he kissed you...I just—the self control is astounding to me."
"Trust me, my self control is quickly dissipating. Today at lunch I was ready to rip his fucking clothes off. He's just so...hot. Have you seen the way he sits in his chair?"
Lucy threw her head back and laughed, "I want to make fun of you so badly right now, but I can't because I have seen him sit in a chair and the boy does it well." She started circling what she wanted on the Chinese take-out menu, "I'm just glad you came to your senses and stopped denying your feelings for him. It was getting hard to watch."
I looked at her in confusion, "Feelings? I don't have feelings for him? I just want to fuck him—a lot. All the time. I don't want to...date him." It felt as if I was lying.
"Oh, come on, Aud." She rolled her eyes, "After you hung out with him once, you admitted to me that he could have romantic potential, which you never do. You've said you were attracted to him since you met him. When he started dating Katherine you were pissed—jealous and pissed. And you told me that you had this weird sad feeling when he told you it was just sex! You have feelings for him, Aud!"
"I do not. I can't."
"You can. You're just scared." She pushed the menu to the side and moved closer to me before resting her hand on my knee, "You're not your dad, Auden. Or your mom. You aren't a mean person and you have never left me once, no matter how bad we have fought. And...and when you're sad, you don't drink, you write and you eat ice cream. You. Are. Not. Them."
"I—thanks, Luce." I cleared my throat and got up to grab my phone off the couch. "We better order now if we want it to get here in time."
Thankfully, Lucy dropped the topic of my impending appointment with Harry and my issues with my parents. Instead, while we ate, we focused on the people she was seeing and I tried desperately to persuade her to get off of Tinder. She refused despite the fact that I pointed out that every bad date story she's ever shared has been with a guy she met on that app.
She rode the train with me down to the shop, even though her apartment was uptown. "So," she started as she hung onto the pole, "is Harry coming by tonight?"
"Ah," I realized, "that's why you came with me. You've been waiting to ask that."
"I just want to know what's going on! I'm really dying here with all this waiting!"
"You're the one who's dying? I've had wet dreams about him the past three nights!" Lucy hit me in the arm before pointing to an older woman next to us who was looking at me like I was a whore. I muttered an apology before turning back to Lucy, "Well, it's true."
"I believe it. At least now when someone's fingers are inside of you, you won't have to imagine that it's Harry—it'll actually be Harry!" It was my turn to hit her and her turn to apologize to the old woman.
I was out of my mind bored; it had only been two hours since I my shift started but I had already done everything I needed to do: I re-shelved some books, I inventoried new books, and I went around and dusted the shelves so they didn't look completely untouched.
I sat in one of mine and Harry's big chairs at the front with my closed laptop on my lap. I wasn't in the right mindset to write—all I could think about was when Harry would get here.My eyes scanned over the parts of the shop I could see, taking note of how empty it was tonight in comparison to usual. There was only one other person in there with me, a nerdy looking guy who was sat in front of a pile of Shakespeare and reading.
My phone vibrated in my lap and I couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement when I saw Harry's name on my screen.
During his month long relationship with Katherine, especially towards the end, he barely came around the shop, which was a major blow because since we had become friends a little over two months ago, he was here almost every night. The past few days, since he broke it off with her and started up whatever it was with me, he had been here every night. He brought me coffee, candy, and when I got cold last night, he took the subway back to his apartment just to get me a sweatshirt—he was really working over time to make it up to me and I was loving every minute of it.
I picked my computer up off my lap and dropped it onto the desk behind me before standing up and pulling my skirt down. It wasn't the most comfortable thing to be working in, since I tended to sit with my legs wide open on these chairs, but Lucy insisted I wear a skirt tonight. I only agreed it because it was easier than fighting with her and honestly, I kind of hoped Harry would take the hint.
The bell on the door chimed as Harry walked with a box of donuts and coffees in his arms. "Oh, my god, you brought Krispy Kremes!" I clapped my hands together in excitement.
He smiled at my reaction and placed everything on the counter, "Yeah, and I had to go all the way to Penn to get them. I still can't believe there's only one in the whole city." He reached over and placed a kiss on my cheek, "Hey."
"Hi." I felt myself blush and a warmth spread in between my thighs. I couldn't believe that all it took from him was a kiss on the cheek to make me feel like that. He had kissed me on the cheek plenty of times, had hugged me, brushed his fingers through my hair, touched the back of my neck and I may have blushed or felt some sort of butterfly, it never turned me on—but the three days since the show have been absolute torture. Every time he touched me the warmth spread because now, there was an actually possibility of him touching me the way I've been wanting him to—and that on its own was enough to turn me on.
He watched me as I opened the box, "You're wearing a skirt." I nodded as I looked at each donut, trying to find the best looking one. He smirked, "A bit dangerous, don't you think?"
"That's kind of the point." I said before taking a huge bite out of my chosen donut.
I figured that would be his cue to grab me and kiss me, maybe even grab my ass a little, but no—instead, he handed me my coffee, "Sit down."
I tried not to let my complete annoyance show on my face and took the coffee from him before plopping down on my chair. He pushed his closer so that the arms were touching before he took a seat.
He started telling me about the new song he was working on, which was absolutely infuriating under the circumstances. I watched his lips move as he talked and the way his long fingers brushed against the stubble on his jawline and felt the warmth return between my legs. I wasn't really listening to what he said, which I knew was awful of me, but I couldn't stop staring at the way his tongue would slide over his top lip every few moments. I squeezed my thighs together and tried to concentrate on what he was saying.
"Auden." He reached over and rested his hand on my thigh.
"Yeah, sorry, what was that last bit?"
"You're coming to the next show right? It's in, like, two weeks."
"Obviously. Did you really need to ask?"
He shrugged and smiled while rubbing his thumb over my skin.
We stayed like that for a while; he left his hand on my thigh as he continued drawing circles on my skin, talking about random stuff. I could feel his hand slowly moving up my thigh as we talked and I was sure I was done for. I knew my underwear was slowly becoming wet with want and it took all of the self control I had not to tell the guy with the books to get the fuck out so I could finally climb on top of Harry.
His hand stalled on my leg when the bell at the front door went off. Both of our heads snapped in its direction as two people walked in, back packs on their backs and papers in their hand. "You have got to be kidding me..." I mumbled under my breath.
"Huh?"
"Nothing," I waved my hand at him and he squeezed my thigh. We sat in a comfortable silence and scrolled through our phones; I was trying to read an article on climate change, but had to keep reading the same paragraph over and over, unable to focus with his pinky brushing under the hem of my skirt. I snuck a glance at him and saw that he was on his phone, seemingly completely unaware of the effect it was having on me, or that he was even doing it at all. When he squeezed my thigh a second time I felt a rush in the pit of my stomach.
"I'll be right back." I stood up and walked away in the direction of the rare books section, ignoring his questioning look. I could feel how soaked my underwear was and I was slightly embarrassed—he had barely touched me and I was a fucking mess (literally). It just wasn't fair; he looked so good. His white t-shirt hugged his biceps and chest perfectly and his blue jeans looked worn but fit him so well and his hand was soft and warm and his lips were pink and wet—I took a deep breath and leaned against the shelves. I needed to get it together.
I sat there for several minutes, with my hands over my face and tried to talk myself into calming down. I told myself I had seen him look that good before, I had wanted him many times before and that I needed to calm the fuck down and handle it like I used to—but I couldn't, because now I knew he wanted me which made shoving those needs down a lot harder.
"You all right?" I jumped at the sound of his voice. I nodded as Harry approached me, running a hand through his hair.
"I—yeah, I'm good."
"Are you sure? You seem a bit flustered. A bit out of it too, I guess." He came to stand in front of me and ran his hands up and down my arms.
I pushed them off, "And who's fault is that?" I didn't mean to have an attitude, but I was sexually frustrated while he seemed perfectly fine.
"Babe, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" I ran a hand over my face and sighed in frustration, "What's wrong is you look like this!" I motioned to his face and his body. "You look like this and you touch my leg and fuck around with the hem of my skirt and-and...fuck!"
He chuckled softly and brought his hands back up to my shoulders, "Are you okay? You seem to be losing it a little."
"No, Harry, I'm not okay. I've been waiting for you to fuck me for three days and you are completely unbothered." I leaned forward and let my head fall on his chest.
His right hand moved to my neck and his left moved to my chin, tilting it up so I was looking at him. He leaned in and brushed his lips softly against mine, but didn't kiss me, "Someone's a bit impatient." He whispered.
"You're the worst." I whispered back. He smiled and kissed me; it was soft, but deep as his tongue moved slowly over mine. His left hand moved from my chin to my waist before snaking around and landing on my ass. He gripped on to me as he pushed me back into the shelves. I slight whine left my lips as I moved my hands from his chest to around his neck and tugged at the hair at the back.
He moved his hand that was on my ass so it was gripping at the hem of my skirt, "Can I?" He asked lowly, as he tugged on it. I nodded and he slid the soft fabric up so his hand could made contact with my skin. He moved his lips from mine, to my neck, tracing circles with his tongue before biting the soft skin.
"Can you be quiet?" He mumbled against my neck and I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. He tucked his finger under the strap of my thong at the back and trailed a line to my front, before turning his hand and dipping it in. He lightly brushed the pad of his finger over my clit and I felt my knees buckle. "Fuck..." I sighed.
He moved his finger further down and dipped it into my folds where I was dripping, "Holy shit. Have you been like this the whole time?"
I nodded and grabbed at his chin, bringing his lips back to mine. While kissing me, he slipped two fingers inside, causing me to moan. He broke the kiss and pulled his free hand up to squeeze my chin, "Shh, baby. You have to be quiet." He moved his fingers in and out of me slowly and I moaned again when he hit a certain spot. He chastised me before taking his hand and putting it over my mouth.
He had me pinned against the bookshelves, his fingers inside of me with his hand over my mouth, while three people sat a few feet away. I gripped at his t-shirt as he watched me writhe in pleasure. He pulled his fingers out and moved them to my clit and started rubbing it in small circles. It was getting hard for me to stand up and so I gripped onto him tighter as my head went back and I closed my eyes.
"Will you be quiet?" He whispered in my ear before biting softly on my neck. I nodded again and he went back to kissing me while his fingers moved quickly between my legs.
"Fuck, Harry. I'm gonna come."
"Come on, babe." He said as he sped up the movement of his fingers.
"I want you to fuck me..." I breathed out.
He shook his head, "Not here." He bit onto my lip before kissing me harder and I felt my orgasm build. "Come on, Aud. I want you to come."
"Fuck." I left my head fall onto his shoulder as I let go, letting my orgasm wash over me. He kept his fingers moving until I had to pull them away because of how sensitive I was.
He kissed my forehead before whispering, "When does your shift end again?"
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A/N: Hi!! Wow, this has been a long time coming, hasn't it? So, the chapters will be getting smuttier from here on out--not every single chapter but there will definitely be smut often, I hope that's okay.
I hope you enjoyed! Please vote and comment! Thank you!
xx Nat