Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love.
“Chummy, make sure babalik ka right after your shows, ha,” Louie tearfully told Raffie, holding her best friend’s hands tightly. “Palagi ka na lang nang-iiwan, eh.”
Harvey grinned at his girlfriend. “Bae, shhhh…bawal daw yung mga nag-e-emote dito,” he joked as he glanced at Quino who was standing nearby, holding Raffie’s luggage.
They were already at NAIA Terminal 2 to send Raffie off to her direct flight to Los Angeles. As soon as she went out of Harvey’s car, Louie clung to her friend as if not wanting to let her go while pouting childishly.
Since only the passengers are allowed to enter, they stayed for a while outside the terminal building to bid good-bye. Harvey asked a passer-by to take a picture of the four of them together just before Raffie went to the queue area.
Raffie, finding Louie’s childish antics cute, hugged her best friend. “I’ll be on the first flight pabalik dito as soon as we are told to pack up, prooooomise,” she assured Louie. “So please habang wala pa ako paki-check din sila Daddy sa house pag may time ka, ha?”
“Of course naman,” Louie said. “You don’t have to worry, palagi naming bibisitahin ni Harvey sila Tito at Tita…and andyan din si Sir Quino to play piano and guitar, diba?” She glanced at Quino who was just quietly looking at them. Realizing that she was taking much of the time that Quino would probably wish to have with Raffie, she then kissed her and told her that she and Harvey would go ahead. “FaceTime as soon as you arrive your hotel, okay?”
Raffie nodded, waving at the couple. “Bye Chum! Alagaan mong mabuti si Louie, ha, Harvey!”
Harvey made a thumbs-up sign to Raffie while flashing a big smile.
“I guess this is it, Raffie,” Quino said, forcing a smile as he neared her. When they talked in her office last week, she told him that there’s no need for him to send her off to the airport since Harvey and Louie will be driving her there.
He clearly understood why. But he still asked her a favor of being the one to drive her to the airport, of being with her for the last time before she leaves.
Raffie nodded, managing to smile at him. “Yeah, this is it, Quino,” she said. She looked at his sad eyes, pain somehow mirroring on her own expression. She bit her lip, trying to control her tears.
‘This is for the both of us…this is for the best,’ she thought.
Flashback – Forte, Last Week
“Let’s have dinner, Wǒ de ài,” Quino told Raffie as soon as he entered the latter’s office in Forte. “Doon na lang tayo sa resto mag-usap.”
Raffie smiled. “I prepared food for us…let’s eat now,” she said, taking out the food containers from the thermal bag. She prepared a simple dinner with the help of Carmi who was somehow surprised when she heard about her daughter’s decision.
“Wow!” Quino exclaimed, rushing towards the table where the food was prepared with matching candle light. He hugged Raffie and kissed her on the forehead. “I like your surprise…now I get to eat your home-cooked meal. Thank you, Wǒ de ài.” He drew the chair for Raffie to sit down first.
“Si mommy talaga ang nagluto nito…all I did was slice and stir,” she said, with a gentle laugh. She opened the lids of the glass containers, and Quino’s eyes grew big as he saw the Pork Char Siu, Seafood Paella and Pad Thai - three of his most favorite foods.
“Katatapos lang ng anniv natin, ah…hindi mo rin naman birthday. Malayo pa rin yung birthday ko…what’s the occasion…?” Both of them will celebrate their birth month on September, four months from now.
Raffie handed him the bottle of red wine, not answering his question. “Please do the honors, Sir Quino,” she said, cutting his sentence short.
With a wide smile, he opened the bottle and poured wine on their glasses. Raffie prayed for the meal, and then they made a toast. She served him portions of each food, and he also did the same for her.
Their dinner conversation was mostly led by Quino. He talked about his new song composition and his plan to make his Youtube channel where he would upload his cover songs and their mash-ups. He was so filled with eagerness that Raffie was somehow hesitant about bringing up the answer to his question earlier.
“Quino…” she began, as he poured some more wine on their glasses. “Sila Louie and Harvey yung maghahatid sa akin sa airport, so I guess…ito na yung despedida ko with you.”
He immediately looked straight in her eyes.
This time, she could tell that he somehow knew what she was about to say. He had never mentioned anything about what happened the previous night, and he made sure to keep their dinner lively by sharing to her all his exciting plans.
But she knew very well that avoiding the issue that they need to talk about was not going to help at all.
She had to tell him now. He deserved to hear what she truly felt.
“Here…” she went on, as she held his hand. Then she placed the promise ring on his palm. “I’ll be leaving this Sunday, and I decided to leave this to you, too.”
Quino didn’t say anything. He merely looked at the ring on his palm, then gazed at Raffie with pair of eyes that were clearly full of questions. Questions that he could not utter.
“You have shown me what love is - in the fullest sense of that word…and you told me that loving someone doesn’t necessarily have a reason,” she added, mustering up all the feelings she had within. “But honestly, I’m not as certain about how I feel…not as certain as you are. I’m not sure if I can give you back the same depth of love that you have selflessly been giving me…hindi ko pa kayang ibigay yun…and you deserve to be loved, Quino…loved wholeheartedly.”
Quino shook his head. “Wǒ de ài, why are you even thinking about such things? Kailangan ba talaga na tapatan ng bawat isa yung nararamdaman natin? You know very well that I love you – no ifs and buts…I love you and that’s just that.”
“Yes, and that’s what makes this relationship unjustifiable, Quino,” she said in a rather loud voice. “When I went through that painful break-up, you were there. I was lonely, and you didn’t fail to cheer me up. You always assure me of your love in words and actions…but I couldn’t even say back those very words to you…and I can feel that you wanted to hear me say how I really felt for you, aside from being happy for being with you.”
Quino leaned forward and held her hands, his gaze fixed on her brown Chinese eyes. “Look, Raffie, If you’re just worried because we’re going to be on LDR for a few months, I assure you, you can trust me. You can completely trust me, Wǒ de ài. I’ll do anything so we could always keep in touch. I’ll make ways. Diba magle-leave pa nga ako next month para makasama ka muna sa LA before your flight to London?” His voice was quivering, as though he was stifling his now unsteady emotions.
Raffie felt touched, not only with Quino’s words, but more with how he tried to control his tears. “Quino, I completely trust you,” she declared, tears now flowing from her eyes. “But I want to be fair to you…so please give me time to process my feelings. Let me use this time to work through my emotions.”
She withdrew her hands from his and covered her face as she cried, feeling quite overcome by her mixed emotions of sadness and confusion.
“Do you still love him?”
Quino’s question suddenly made her look up at him. He was looking at her with eyes that were clearly pained, but expectant…expectant of an honest answer.
He reached out to gently wipe her tears with his thumb. She could now see tears brimming on the side of his eyes.
“I don’t know…when I saw him again…when I heard him apologize…I felt drawn to him…I wanted to hear the reasons for his actions, to give him the benefit of the doubt,” Raffie answered him with all honesty. “But love…I just don’t know…” Her voice faltered, not knowing what else to say.
For what seemed like eternity, both of them just sat there in silence, face to face, processing all the things, all the words they uttered.
Quino finally broke the silence as he said in a voice that was obviously filled with gentle compassion, “Then I respect your decision, Raffie. Let’s allow time and distance to clear out all the confusion of our emotions. But please, grant me this favor. Take this ring with you. I’m not telling you to wear it, just please have it with you…pag sigurado ka na sa nararamdaman mo, tatanggapin ko yan kung sakaling ibalik mo sa akin.” He placed the ring on top of her table.
He then stood up. “And please…allow me to drive you to the airport on Sunday,” he said, forcing a smile. “Thank you, Raffie. Thank you for being honest.” He extended his hand to her for a handshake.
Still on her seat, she looked up at him as she took his hand for that very warm, civil handshake, completely speechless with his words.
End of Flashback
“I have something to send you, Raffie…I want you to be the first one to hear it,” Quino told her as he AirDropped to her phone the audio file of the latest song he sang and played. “You can listen to it while you’re on the plane.”
Raffie saved the song on her playlist after receiving the file. “Thank you, Quino.”
“Take good care of yourself, Raffie,” Quino said as he handed her the luggage. He then wrapped his arms around her tightly, firmly.
“Ikaw din, take care of yourself,” she said. Then, with a heavy heart, she began to walk away from him.
“Always remember, Raffie. Whatever happens, you alone are my song.”
Quino’s words were softly spoken, yet very clear to her. Such words made her want to turn back to him and throw herself in his arms.
But she didn’t look back.
With each step that she took, it was like she was merely dragging her feet. Going towards the queueing line of passengers entering the terminal gate felt like eternity to her.
********************************
…You are the song
Playing so softly in my heart
I reach for you
You seem so near
And yet so far
I hope and I pray
You'll be with me someday
I know down inside
That you are mine and I'm your true love
Or am I dreaming...
Quino was playing the song he recorded for Raffie while driving along Highway Hills, on the way back to his penthouse. Suddenly, he felt a tear fall on his cheek. He fought back such longing emotions while he was still in the airport, but now, as he was listening to the song, he felt that his agonizing feeling was just too much.
He kept on driving, trying very hard to be careful, to be sanely guarded, although he felt as if his heart would explode at that very moment. Fumes of agonizing thoughts clouded his mind, and he was finding such situation rather difficult to handle.
…How can I
Each time I try to say goodbye
You were there
You look my way and touch the sky
We can share tomorrow and forevermore
I'll be there
To love you so
You are my song…
He was supposed to record his new composition for her, but after they talked in her office that fateful night, he decided to forego that idea.
That new composition did not reflect what they were both going through. Still, he wanted to give her a recording of a song that would remind her about what she meant to him.
Raffie is the song of his heart.
Raffie awakened the musician in him. That part of him which he thought died the moment his mother passed away. Raffie made him want to make music again, with her by his side.
…I know for sure
That we were meant to fall in love
I look in your eyes
I know what you're thinking of
I try not to say
The words that might just scare you away
I know down inside
That you are mine and I'm your true love
Please, no more dreaming...
That afternoon, when he picked up Raffie at home, Carmi hugged and thanked him. That hug felt like a good-bye gesture from her…he felt extremely saddened by that thought.
During those months he courted Raffie, and especially when they already began to date, he immediately established a close relationship with Carmi who treated him as part of the family, always talking to him about his mom.
Paeng, though rather distant at first, slowly warmed up to him as he played the piano with his favorite songs. Eventually, they discovered their common love for song composition, and that drew him closer to Raffie’s dad.
His own family, no doubt, liked Raffie so much. After the recital, Andrew congratulated him and gave his blessing to both of them, even hinting that he wanted to hear their announcement of engagement anytime soon.
Such a perfect possibility…he couldn’t ask for more.
He thought everything between him and Raffie was gradually unfolding into a music-filled love story…one that would be shared forever…
But she had to leave…
And he had to accept that…
Still, he didn’t say goodbye when they parted in the airport. She didn’t utter that word either.
He hated the very thought of saying goodbye, and much more the feeling of having to say goodbye to someone he wanted to spend every second with.
Goodbye for him, is the hardest thing to say, especially because it isn’t what he wanted to tell her.
‘Is this really it, Raffie? Is this really the end for us?’
No longer capable of holding the creeping, pent up pain within him, Quino accelerated the speed of his car and maneuvered it to the opposite direction, deciding not to go back to his penthouse that night.
********************************
“Bae, tahan na…tama na yan,” Harvey said in a comforting manner as he gently patted his girlfriend’s back. “Andito na tayo sa bahay nyo…baka akala nila Tita Chona pinaiyak kita.”
Louie had been sobbing since they left the airport, quite affected by Raffie and Quino’s untimely separation. “How could this happen to them? Ganun ba talaga, Bae, mahirap ba talagang maka-move-on sa first love?”
“What do you mean?” Harvey couldn’t understand what Louie was asking him.
“Vince is Raffie’s first love. She had a hard time moving on when she decided to break-up with him. Pero ako yung nag-encourage sa kanya to forget him because I know he really didn’t deserve her,” Louie explained. “Kaya nga ang saya ko when Sir Quino and Kuya Robert laid down their intention to pursue her, kase akala ko mas madaling makaka-move-on si Chummy because of them…pero anong nangyari?”
“Everything happens for a reason, Bae.”
“I know, but sometimes I just don’t get Raffie…we’ve been friends since we were young…but sometimes I don’t understand the way she makes decisions. It seems like she’s singing a different tune now,” Louie told Harvey. “Hindi ako maka-relate.”
“Bakit di ka maka-relate, dahil ba ako ang first love mo, Bae?” Harvey asked her, beaming at her with his signature killer smile. Then he drew her close to him in a very loving embrace.
When they began dating, they stopped calling each other BBF. Instead, they agreed on using a sweeter term of endearment - Bae, as in “before anyone else.”
Harvey kept on reminding Louie that in order for them to achieve their relationship goals, they have to put each other first before anyone else…well of course, with God as their top priority.
Louie would oftentimes worry about Raffie and vent it out to Harvey. But he was always the one who would balance her anxious thoughts with his constant reminders.
“Yes, you know very well that you are my first love,” Louie replied to him quite fondly.
He kissed her forehead. “And you are my last love, Bae,” he said.
She smiled at him. Then suddenly, her happy face etched into a frown again. Sighing heavily, she said, “Sana naman si Raffie din malaman na nya sino ba talaga ang last love nya.”
“Don’t worry about Raffie…she’s mature enough to handle her decisions well, I’m sure of that,” he said. “Pag-pray lang talaga natin sya…that’s the best thing we can do for her.”
********************************
You are the song
Playing so softly in my heart
I reach for you
You seem so near
And yet so far
I hope and I pray
You'll be with me someday
I know down inside
That you are mine & I'm your true love
Or am I dreaming...
As soon as Raffie arrived the boarding gate area, she took a seat in a corner and listened to the song Quino sent her. Her tears streamed down her cheeks as she listened to each of the words in the song.
Quino sang it in his usual passionate way, but Raffie couldn’t help but notice the sad tone of his voice, and it was somehow piercing through her heart.
I know for sure
That we were meant to fall in love
I look in your eyes
I know what you're thinking of
I try not to say
The words that might just scare you away
I know down inside
That you are mine & I'm your true love
Please, no more dreaming...
She closed her eyes and prayed silently, ‘Lord, I believe you understand how I feel right now… Please forgive me for I have hurt someone I care for…I know it will be more painful for both of us if I continue to be uncertain about what I really feel. Please help me to stay in tune to whatever plans you have for me, and I trust that you will just lead me to the person who will be my life partner, whoever he may be…thank you because of the pain I’m going through…thank you for making me stronger because of this. I now release to you all the hurts and I trust you for your leading…and please Lord, please protect and guide Quino all the time…I’ll wait for your perfect will for both of us. In Christ’s name, Amen.’
…Maybe we can last until forever
And I know that we can make it through
With you in my heart, in my soul, you're my love
You're my song
You are my song
We can share tomorrow and forevermore
I'll be there
To love you so
You are my song!
As Raffie opened her eyes, she saw Vince sitting right in front of her, reaching out to give her a handkerchief. Stunned at this unexpected moment, she removed her earphones and merely looked at him, speechless.
“I think you need this, Raffie,” Vince said, urging her to take the handkerchief.
She seemed to zone out for a second as she merely stared at the handkerchief. Then, realizing that Vince was waiting for her response while looking at her with that familiar pair of doting blue eyes, she shook her head slightly. “Thanks, but it’s okay, Vince,” she refused, taking out her own handkerchief from her bag.
“Good evening, passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight PR 1503 to Brisbane. We are now inviting those passengers with small children and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time…"
As the announcement boomed through the PA system, a couple of passengers sitting beside Raffie immediately stood up. Vince was quick to transfer on the vacant seat by her side.
“Let’s see…we still have about an hour to wait…but I’m glad we’re flying together, Raffie,” he told her, looking at the screen where the flight schedules were being posted.
“What do you mean, Vince?” Raffie was now becoming more surprised.
“Susan’s assistant booked us on the same flight,” Vince replied, smiling. “I’ll also be taking you to your hotel and then we’ll go straight to the studio for our screen test. That's why we need to get all the rest we could manage while on board."
“Why?” Raffie still couldn’t believe what she was hearing from Vince.
With a warm smile and an excited voice, Vince announced, “Because we’re both part of the ensemble cast, Raffie…we’re going to do the movie together."
********************************
Hi, dear readers!
Had a hard time writing this chapter 😪😔...nevertheless, here it is...
What do you think will happen this time as Vince and Raffie reunite for the movie project?
How will Quino manage his emotional struggle? Where do you think he went after deciding not to go home that night?
"Stay tuned" for the next chapter, guys!
Pordalab of KimXi 😍❤❤❤