『 𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙨𝙣𝙡 𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙘𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙣 』
I looked at myself in mirror, checking over my costume for tonight's sketch, I sport a pair of black high waisted jeans, with a white band shirt and a plaid jacket over that.
I was extremely nervous for tonight's show. You see, I'm a serious regular so I've worked with a lot of different celebrities during my years here, but nothing could've prepared me for tonight's show.
Our special guest host was none other then Christian Slater himself. I've been following his career since 1985 and to say I was a fan would be an understatement, I had a mega crush on the guy and it was very embarrassing for me.
We are the same age so that doesn't affect anything, we were both single and living in New York, honestly surprised how we haven't ran into each other before.
To face him is something I'd never thought I'd do, I've never had the best of luck with guys, they'd either use me for a friend or a shag, or just straight up reject me because, and I quote, I'm 'not like other woman.' It was bullshit.
Christian was no exception, since his career blossomed, he's dated many girls or at least had some sort of affair with them, I like to think he's different but that thought always gets over clouded with negativity.
I snap out of my thoughts as I hear the bell signalling it's time to go on stage, I look over my appearance one more time until I head off. I walk with nerves swimming through my veins, the stage coming nearer and nearer, until I'm standing right next to it.
I hear the crowd chatting happily as they wait for the live show to start up again, I bite my lip and shake any negative thought out of my mind as I slowly step up and place a smile on my face.
I wave at some fans who cheer as I walk out, smiling happily as I quickly sign some autographs from the front. Once I've finished that, I get into position on the set of the teenage boy's bedroom.
I sit on the cushions set up on the ground for me, which was between my friend Melanie and, unfortunately for me, Christian.
My character is the sister to Adam Sandler's character, Adam, she helps figure out a band name for their newly formed teenage band, she's probably the only normal one there.
I fiddle with my hands as the others start to get into position as well, Melanie smiles at me as she sits next to me with Chris Farley on the chair as she hangs off of him.
Adam and David Spade enter as they get into their position on the bed, Adam with a guitar in his hand, they greet me as I greet them back.
Then lastly, Christian enters as he smiles at all of us, I try to hide my blush as he sits closely to me on his chair, his leg accidentally brushing my arm.
I take a deep breath and steady myself, if I break character I'll ruin it for everyone, and I don't want to to do that, especially not in front of him.
The lights dim as the camera man get into position, I place a slight smile on my face as they signal to start as the monitor gets put on so we can read our lines, the lights slowly fade in as we all get into character.
The crowd does their classic opening cheer as we act as our characters, Adam softly strumming his guitar for our opening, Christian speaks the first line.
"Alright. First off, we need a name for our band, okay? Then we all learn how to play instruments.. then we get gigs.. and then every chick in the school digs us! Alright? So let's starts with a name. I got two. Zaxxon, or Matrix. I like 'em both – which one?" He acts out as Richard, his character for the skit.
"Ugh.." David groans in character as he looks in thought, Adam stops playing the guitar and speaks, "Neither. How about Ray Gun?"
I shake my head at my 'brother' and roll my eyes, "Ray Gun? That's the best you could come up with? It doesn't even make any sense."
Adam glares and scoffs, "How about you think of something better, ass kisser!" He shouts, I scoff and cross my arms.
"Yeah. Right. Calm down. Loverboy sounded good once, too." Christian adds in as he too rolls his eyes at the suggestion.
"I liked Loverboy." David stated as the crowd laughed, Adam carried on with his guitar as David looked in thought, "Okay, uh.. how about.. Open Casket."
Christian sighs, "I don't know.. it's a little dark.." he points out, I raise my hand up for a question and speak, "If we call ourselves open casket, can we actually use a open casket with a real dead body inside? I nominate Adam as the prop!" I suggest with seriousness, Adam looks at me with a glare as the others shake their heads.
"No, no dead bodies, that's a bad image for us." Christian tells me, I sigh and hang my head as I discreetly hide the blush forming on my cheeks from his stare his character gives me.
"Richard! What are you boys doing up there!" Julia, who plays Richard's mother's voice, shouts up the imaginary stairs off set.
Christian turns around and shouts down the stairs, "We're talking, so shut up!!" He rolls his eyes and turns back around on his chair. "Don't you use those words on me! Don't you tell me to shut up!!" Julia shouts back up.
Christian turns back around annoyed, "I swear to God, Ma, you gotta get off my back!" He looks around at us with excitement, "Hey! That's what we can call the band!" He suggest.
I furrow my brows and shake my head as I re quote him, "I swear to god, ma, you gotta get off my back?" He nods back with excitement.
David shakes his head, "It's too long. Okay, how about, um.. The Fairies." He suggests with enthusiasm. I hold in my chuckle as Adam talks, "We're not gay!"
David grins, "I know! That's the genius! 'Cause it's so opposite of what we are!" I scoff at him, "That's just confusing." Christian shakes his head and adds in, "No one would get that."
Chris sits up in his chair as he stares ahead in character, "How about.. Pearl Jam?" He suggests, Melanie nodding in agreement.
"Just shut up, idiot! There already is a Pearl Jam!" Christian shouts annoyed again, Chris leans back down and stutters, "Err.. I mean.. Pearl Jam II."
I look up at Christian, "What is it with you saying 'idiot' and 'shut up', got daddy issues?" I sarcastically say as he rolls his eyes and stares down at me.
"What is it with you and your questions, got mummy issues?" He sarcastically says back, I scoff and roll my eyes again as I huff, Christian shakes his head and groans, "Bands don't have sequels! Alright, look – here's how to do it, okay? Let's figure out what we're gonna sing about, and then we'll think of a name." He says aggravated.
"Alright.." David sighs, we nod slowly in agreement as Adam speaks up, "Okay.. Love, you know. We'll write about being in love." He suggests.
"No, man! That's been covered, that's old news! Let's talk about truth!" Christian suggest as we all perk up at the idea, "Right! And, no matter how big we get, we don't date models!"
I smile at that in my character as Melanie and I high fived. "Yeah.. yeah.. But.. but, can they be pretty girls?" David questions as all the guys look at Christian with question.
He nods, "Yeah. But not models." Adam sighs, "Okay. How.. how pretty can they be?" I scoff as my character and roll my eyes.
Christian huffs annoyed, "As long as they never got paid for being pretty, okay?" He starts to think, "You know, wait a second.. supermodels are okay, alright? But no lowball part-time model chicks! Okay? Now, what's the truth we're gonna sing about?"
Chris sits up as he struggles to explain his idea, "How about.. this one time.. I stayed at.. my friend's house. And, uh.. uh, I got crabs from his ouch, and.. so, I went into the bathroom to kill 'em.. and I set off a bug bomb. And.. and.. I sat in there for about two hours.. and.. I almost died!"
I gave him a look, "Is that supposed to make sense? Or purposely be nonsense?" The others shrugged, "Okay, maybe love is good.." Christian adds.
"Richard! It's time to see your friends home, you've got school tomorrow!" Julia shouts up as everyone rolls their eyes.
"Would you shut up?! I mean, can't you just hut up for once in your stinkin' life?! Just shut up!" Christina shouts back annoyed. "I'm gonna get your father to tan your hide when he gets here!" She shouts back.
Christian scoffs, "Good! I'll sue him!"
"You couldn't afford it!"
"Yeah, well, I'll take out a school loan!" Christian says matter of factly. "Richard, I'm serious! It's late! Send your friends home!" Julia continued to shout aggravated.
"Shut.. up!!" Adam shouted down this time instead, earning weird looks from the rest of us. "Hey, man.. don't tell my mom to shut up." Christian scolds Adam, who shrugs.
Melanie then suddenly stands up with a grin, "Hey, guys.. let's go out and buy some pot." She suggests happily.
Christian looks at her confused, "You have money?"
Melanie frowns, "No." Christian shrugs, "I guess we're not gonna go get pot, then."
I slapped my hand on my thigh, "Thanks for getting our hopes up." She shrugs, "Oh.. sorry." She sits back down and grabs Chris's arm.
"Hey, you guys, we've gotta write songs about drugs! Alright? Like, remember "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"? Lucy.. Sky.. Diamonds – L.S.D., right? See? Every song from the 70's is about drugs. Give me any song." David states, we look at him confused.
""Hey Jude"." Adam says.
""Hey Jude"? "Hey Heroin"! "Don't make it bad"? "Don't make a bad batch – of heroin." See? Once you know what they're doing, it's easy! It's like The Who, when they sang "Don't Get Food Again"? "Food" is heroin!" David says happily.
Adam starts laughing, "I think it's "Don't Get Fooled Again"!"
David shakes his head, "No, it's not! I saw him say it in an interview – he quoted it! And, like, on "Ticket To Ride" – Ride is the heroin trip, and Ticket is your dealer. Wait.. I think the ticket is just a ticket on that one.." he trails off in thought.
Melanie stands back up, grinning, "Hey, guys.. let's get some pot!" She suggest again.
Christian shakes his head confused, "Did you just make some money in the last five minutes?"
She frowns, "No."
"Then, shut up! Plus, you know, I don't really know if this band smokes pot, alright? It might not be their image! Alright, let's vote. Who thinks this band should smoke pot?" Christian asks as we all raise our hands, "Alright. Well, when we're making the bucks, it'll be easy to get it."
Chris sits up awkwardly, "Mooney..? Man.. the best way to get some cash flow going.. is to invent something.. We need, like, a killer idea that.. like, the guy who, that, invented the Pet Rock? He's got it made! 'Cause.. in.. he.. does nothing.. ever! All he does.. is just kick back in his pad all day, and get baked! Cashing elephant.. checks.. and.. then.. errr.. what.. what was I saying?" He drifts off.
I furrow my brows as I sigh, "You make no sense man! This guy doesn't need anymore pot, he's already nuts." I point out as I shake my head.
Christian shakes his, "Nothing.. nothing." the phone rings, "Don't answer it!" He tells us.
Adam starts singing and strumming his guitar, "The phone is ringing, I ain't gonna answer it. No, no, can't pick it up, 'Cause of what it represents..""
"Yeah.. yeah! Dude, the phone is heroin.. and answering it is giving in to your habit!" David states again, I roll my eyes.
Adam still singing, "It's my baby She says "Bye bye" —This song sucks, answer the phone." He shouts.
Christian stands up and answers the phone, "Good, I'm glad!" He slams the receiver.
We all look at him puzzled as Julia shouts again, "Don't you hang up on me!!"
Christian sighs, "Would you shut up?!! Guys, look.. you gotta take off, she's really upset." He tells us as we all stand up.
"Alright, alright.." David sighs, "Your mother is crazy, dude. Take her to a psych ward." I tell him as I pat his arm. He nods, "Good idea."
"What time we gonna meet tomorrow?" Adam also around. "Uh.. five o'clock. Alright. And, uh, be thinking of album cover ideas, okay?" Christian tells us as we nod our heads.
"Alright, great. See you then." David points his hand, indicating Chris, "Wake him up.."
The lights dim down as the crowd cheers as we finish our skit, we all smile as we do a quick bow and run off stage so they can prepare the next skit for the others.
I sigh and shake off any nerves as I start to head to my dressing room to change, I look back and see Christian talking with Chris and David as they laugh.
He turned my way and caught my eye as he smiled at me, I shyly smiled back and turned back around as I walked into my room, I closed the door and leaned against it as I sighed.
"Shit, that was awkward, good going Y/n." I whisper to myself, I shake my head as I change out of my costume and put on my normal attire, which consisted of a plaid button down shirt and mom jeans.
I sit on my couch as I internally scolded myself for the awkwardness I caused out there, it was so obvious, you could cut the tension with a knife.
I'm snapped out of my thoughts by a knock at the door, I furrow my brows in confusion as I wonder who it was, I wasn't due for a skit until later in the night so I had a fair bit of a break.
I stood up and headed over to my door, I turned the knob and opened it as I looked at who knocked.
My eyes nearly fell out of my sockets as I saw Christian standing there, now in his normal attire with a smile on his face as he leant against the door frame.
"Uh, H-hi?" I internally slapped myself at the stutter and question as I forced a smile on my face. "Hey, mind if I come in?" He asks, I blink a couple of times and slowly nod my head as I open the door wider as he enters.
He looks around with a approving nod, "Nice room you've got here, very cozy."
I slightly chuckle as I shut the door and move forward, "Uh, thanks. We're allowed to design them any way we like so I just went with the cozy home feel. So anyone who enters can feel relaxed and not at all awkward." I tell him as I move over to couch and sit down, I offer the seat next to me with a smile as he joins me.
"Thanks, so uh, great skit we did out there, it feels good to be back here hosting again." He says as he leans his elbows on his knees as he looks at me with a smile.
I nod along and smile, "Yeah, it was. All the cast here adore you so we couldn't resist having you host again, plus the audience seem pretty pleased by it too." We both chuckled.
"Yeah, they did. I could hardly hear myself doing the monologue, they were cheering so loudly my ears went numb." He laughed, I laughed too.
He then stopped and looked at me with a smile, I gave him a curious one back as he moved a bit closer, "I was wondering if you wanted to maybe go out to dinner after the show? Just the two of us, you know?" He questioned me with uncertainty.
My eyes were wide and my mouth was opened, I was lost for words as he looked at me with hesitation, "Only if you want to, of course. If not that's okay." He quickly stuttered out.
I snapped out of my daze and smiled, "What? No, no, I'd love to go out with you. I just didn't expect it, that's all. I, Uh, don't usually get a lot of guys asking me out so it was a bit of a surprise." I told him with a shy smile.
He nodded in understanding, "Don't know how, you're a very beautiful and intelligent woman, any man would be lucky to have you." I blushed at his compliment.
"Your sweet."
He blushed this time and smiled, "So are you."
I grinned as we continued to chat until the next skit, dreams do come true.