Elnora
It's Friday night and I decided to come and visit the nearest bar in my apartment. It's my first time here alone because I am usually with my coworkers. Work has been exhausting. I need to do some edits for my manuscript, but I can't focus on doing it so. That's why I need to do something to divert my attention since writing didn't make it. The memory of what happened earlier keeps on crawling back into my mind and it tingles my inside, yet not in a good way. It unleashes the beast I tried to cage a long time ago.
"One bottle of red champagne please, thank you." I said to the bartender as my mind wanders again.
I went here to forget about it or so I thought. Who am I kidding? It's not something I could ever forget. I will always remember the embarrassment I felt during that incident. It will forever haunt me, mainly because it brings back memories that shouldn't be brought.
"We have a new drink, Madamé. Our newest red champagne, Blood Love." The handsome bartender muttered as he flashes a flirty smile at me.
Trying to not roll my eyes I gave him a short nod. Boys. No, not again. I've had enough today. I don't need another headache for tonight. I said to myself as I remain to have a stoic expression on my face. I used to give a big smile, but after what happened in my life. I choose to detach myself from people. Funny how circumstances change a person, even though you swear that you will never be that kind of person. Life has its way of laughing at you.
"Just give me a red champagne or whatever you called that drink," I grunted, not heeding him much attention because I got so much on my plate right now.
Seems like he got what I meant. And so he cleared his throat and get back to his business.
How many times do I have to push people away for my so-called self-preservation? I am so tired of being alone, but I find it so hard to trust someone. I've been hurt a lot by my past relationships, I don't think I'll be able to find someone who will understand. I've been fooled so many times by my relatives. I am just glad that I'm living all alone now. No judgment by the people whom I thought my family. I guess leaving my hometown is the best decision I made for myself so far.
And then my mind went back to Carl— my boss who confessed to me earlier. He exerted a lot of effort in preparing a surprise for me, but it doesn't end up well. He's a good guy, but he's not my type and so I need to turn him down in his freaking proposal in front of all the workers in that company. And now, I think I need to resign and find a new job.
I groaned in frustration. Where on earth can I find a job better than what I've already had? And Americans don't dwell too much on the past, right? Tomorrow, they will forget about it. I hope so.
Why do people need to fall in love though? I mused to myself discreetly because I think that's what made people long for someone or something that they cannot have.
I drink directly from the bottle of champagne and later on roamed my eyes around the place. People were having a fun night. And I can't help to think that people who party the most are probably the loneliest people living alive.
I moaned when I tasted the liquor. It's a mixture of strawberries and something more. It burns through my throat and it makes me feel hot all of a sudden. I regret drinking, it made my head pound so hard.
Damn. Am I already drunk? It's just a small amount of liquor, but I'm not really a hard drinker so it's pretty understandable.
What am I thinking?
"The usual." A baritone voice from behind caught my attention.
I turned to face him. His golden brown hair was a bit messy. He is wearing a business suit, and I'm sure that it covers his well-toned body. His blue eyes were captivating. That's what got me the most. Oh, and his luscious lips were inviting, it has the shape that can make a girl wish she has it or be given a chance to kiss them. Everything about him shouts justice of perfection and is so out of my league.
I shook my head at my thought. Damn. I need to wake up from this nonsense. Even though I found him attractive, I know to myself that he will never be mine to be with.
Blame it on the alcohol, Elnora. You're talking incoherently with yourself, your brains must have musters alcohol inside.
I let myself be busy with the drink in front of me, my mind crawls to what happened earlier. If I said yes to Carl, will I have a good life? At the age of 24, I think I should have at least a boyfriend. A long-term one. But then how? People only want to get laid and then leave after a while I want someone to be with me in this lifetime. And I don't think I'm ready for that one.
"Such into depth melancholy." The man beside me with those alluring pair of ocean orbs suddenly commented.
My lips lift to form a sly smile. His chosen words mesmerized me like he is some kind of poet who loves pieces of literature and such. I barely meet such kind, they're like sharks on the ocean, so hard to find.
I craned my neck to look at him so I could see who was the lucky girl who caught his attention.
And I think my breathing hitched when I was greeted by his intense eyes, which were currently staring at me intently.
I bit my bottom lip as I looked around and see that there was no one. When I was sure that he is talking to me, I faced him.
"Are you talking to me?" I asked even though it was obvious that he is.
So what? I'm just making sure that I won't be a laughing stock of embarrassment.
Still staring at me, he grinned and shrugged as he played with the glass he is holding. "I'm talking to myself."
A hint of humor can be heard in his voice.
I raised my brows and gets back to drinking. Useless conversation. But the truth is, I am the useless one 'cause I could never hold a conversation since I'm boring.
See what I meant? I could be a laughing stock of embarrassment if I rushed on concluding things. I talked to myself.
"How could a very beautiful artwork of God be here in front of me? Alone in this isolated place. Mourning her heart out." He, again, mumbled.
I squint my eyes in annoyance. Is he practicing some lines for a play? If so, then he should be in his room and not in this noisy and almost crowded place. He will be distracted, I must say.
I kept on drinking until I feel myself getting dizzy. Damn. Shit. Damn. Can I still go home and drive in my state right now?
"Oh, God," I grunted as I let my forehead touch the cold marble table.
Pictures of memories invaded my lonely mind and soul. Back then, I am a happy-go-lucky kind of girl, but it all changed when an incident happens. In one blink of an eye, everything changes. I lose something and I don't know if I could ever have it back.
"Oh fuck." I mumbled to myself as I tried to get up.
I cursed in my head when I stumbled against my heels. Sighing, I sat again. My eyes were half open. The thud of the loud music penetrated my ears. I want to dance along with the beat, but I can't even move my legs to stand.
I chuckled as I realized that I am drunk. Tears started to spill out of my eyes as memories keep on coming back like it happened yesterday. I hastily wiped it as it keeps on rolling down my cheeks.
When I'm drunk, I become weak. And I hate it. Fuck. Why did I even go to this bar? It's not the time for me to hyperventilate in such a place. I don't want to be weak in front of so many people.
"D-damn you, t-tears. Why a-are you still f-falling?! S-stop... S-stop. Please." I pleaded to myself as I keep on wiping my tears, hoping that it will eventually go as I say. But again, it didn't. It keeps falling and there's nothing I could do about it.
"Let it go, it'll help." An intruder suddenly interrupted my moment.
I tried to open my eyes even though I'm having a hard time, only to glare at whoever that man is and was taken aback when I got a chance to take a full view of him.
Yes, it's the guy with those mesmerizing blue eyes. He was standing in front of me with worry in his eyes.