Recap:
Mia: What does he want?
Me: Not sure.
Yes! She cares!
Mia: Hm, whatever. I guess, I'll tty when you have the time..
Me: Don't be that way..
Mia: How else should I be?
Her question had me stumped. How did I want her to be? I want her attention...I want her to want my attention, not just give up. Then it dawned on me--She thinks that's what I want! Fuck! How am I gonna show her that's not it?
I typed out the text message, then thought about what I was telling her and if the message was clear enough for her. I knew I had to be somewhat straightforward...But I didn't want to push it either. Here goes nothing.
Me: Like you were at the soccer fields.
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Mia's POV:
Over the next few days I didn't know what to do. I never texted Natalie back after reading her text the other night, when she told me to be like I was at the soccer fields. I mean, that just blew my mind. So, every morning, I'd get ready without looking out of my window, go down to my car, then honk my horn. Natalie would come out, tap on the glass, get in the car, and we'd be on our way to school.
In complete silence.
The only time we spoke to each other was in class, in passing, or when we needed to arrange when we were going home from school, etc. There was no outside communication. This was probably mostly my fault, but what was I supposed to do? I was new to this. I was scared. This girl, who I assumed to be straight was giving me the most mixed of signals. One day, she was snapping on me for trying to do what she wanted, the next we were watching sunrises--I get punched in the arm--then we're watching sunsets. Now, she's telling me she wants me to spill my heart out to her more.
What makes it worse...she hadn't tried to make conversation with me either. She was the one who initiated it, shouldn't she be the one to spell out the boundaries, and such? What if she just wanted me to be nice to her? What if I'm over thinking this whole situation and she doesn't like me at all? Then what?
I sat in our school's lunchroom and listened to Mariana talk about some boy she was thinking of talking to, while I mulled over the Natalie situation with my head down. I really didn't know what to do, and at this point all I wanted was to be done with it.
"Mia.." Mariana whispered into my ear all of a sudden, "Natalie has been staring at you for a last ten minutes."
My head shot up and I looked around the cafeteria rapidly until the found a set of beautiful brown eyes staring into mine. Always so breathtaking I thought as I simultaneously gasped.
"What do you think she wants?" Mariana asked.
I looked at her, kind of irritatedly, and asked "How do you know she wants anything at all?"
She scoffed at me and rolled her eyes. "God, I swear you're not even a real girl sometimes."
Ouch.
"It's all in her eyes," she continued. "She wants you to do something."
And that would be...?
"What she wants you to do? I don't know." So you're worthless! "Guess that's for you to know."
I looked back towards the heavenly eyes that capture my attention so often, hoping to find what she wanted from me, as Mariana put it so elegantly, but instead I found Natalie flirting with some jock.
Whatever, I grumbled on the inside and looked away.
Mariana noticed my reaction and her faced contorted in confusion.
"Are you going to tell me what I'm missing girl?" she questioned.
I thought about that for a while. Am I going to tell my best friend that I'm gay and that I want the girl over there who's blatantly flirting with some stupid jock? Yea, maybe not yet.
For the remainder of lunch I stole glances at Natalie, attempting to pretend like I didn't care what she did one way or another. She flirted with the same jock the entire time, endlessly touching his arms and letting him tickle her. I could feel my anger rise, but what was I to do? That's what she wanted!
Fucking mixed signals again.
Finally it was time to get the hell out of the cafeteria and I made a break for my car. I didn't want to spend fourth period trying to ignore her again. I'd just leave and come back for her later. She'd survive just find without me I'm sure.
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Natalie's POV:
Ay dios mio! Eres tan estupida?! (Oh my God! Is she that stupid?!)
I sat across the cafeteria from Mia for almost the entire lunch period pleading for her to come over to me with my eyes. Well, hell at least that's what I think I was doing. It wasn't going very well. All she did was stare back at me. It was like we were in the middle of an hour long eye staring contest. Eventually she looked away and I had to come up with a new plan to once again gain her attention.
Apparently, the text I sent was a bit too much for her. Honestly, I would've thought she'd done this before, with how she dresses, and the way she seems to flirt tirelessly with girls. Or maybe I'm just imagining that one, but still. I'd thought that I was making it clear that I wanted her. I guess she needed a bit more motivation, so I was going to give it to her.
I was sitting with this new clique that adopted me into their ranks a couple of days ago when Mia started ignoring me. The clique was filled with jocks and a whole bunch of Spanish girls who dated those jocks. Except for one guy--Adrian. Time to get her jealous...again.
"Hey Adrian." I said scooting closer to him.
"Wassup?" he answered, smiling at me, almost as if he knew what I wanted. So cocky.
"How many tattoos do you have?" I asked as I traced the tattoo on his arm. It was very self-centered; his own name.
"I have a few," his smile grew broader, "A few you'll have to find if you want to see them." Yuck! I think I just barfed a little bit in my mouth.
"Right..." I said rolling my eyes. "I ask because I'm thinking about getting one."
"You should get one here," he said poking me on my rib cage and making me jump. I'm super fucking ticklish.
"Don't do that," I warned him.
Of course, being the dumb ass that he is, he didn't listen. He continued to poke me, like everywhere. I was laughing, because I'm really that ticklish, and telling him to stop at the same time, so I guess he got the message that I really didn't want him to stop.
I looked back over at Mia. No! Of course she was looking at this part. This isn't what I wanted her to see, I only wanted her to see me talking to him. Not all of this bull.
I could almost feel the anger radiating off of her all the way over here, and there was nothing I could do about it. The bell signaling that lunch was over rang then, and Mia was out of the cafeteria faster that I could blink. Crap.
Adrian finally stopped being obnoxious when the bell rang, and I punched him straight in the chest. I've been told that I'm heavy handed, so I wasn't surprised to see the pain in his eyes.
"Next time I tell you to stop, fucking stop!" I almost yelled at him.
I rushed to fourth period, eager to see Mia, and hopefully fix whatever I'd just broken between us, but when I got there, she was nowhere to be found. I waited all class period for her to walk through the door with some excuse to give Ms. Forman...but she didn't. She never came.
During the last fifteen minutes of class I decided to text her.
Me: Where are you? Are you still taking me home?
It didn't take long for her to respond, wherever she was, because the next thing I knew my phone was vibrating.
Mia: Ask your new boyfriend to drive you home.
Yep, should've seen that one coming.
Me: He's not my boyfriend Mia.
Me: I was just doing that to make you mad.
Mia: Why?
She really can't be that slow...
Me: Smh. You'll have to figure that one out on your own.
Mia: Well you succeeded in making me mad Natalie.
Mia: I'm outside.
The bell rang just as I read that last message. Hm, I smiled, so she wasn't going to leave me stranded after all.
To me, that was a start.
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So....whatdaya think of that?
- A. Kvng