As I pulled away from Flynn, I looked between him and Kade.
"I know y'all want to fix this," I said slowly, sitting back to my knees.
Kade nodded with narrowed eyes.
"But, I just have one request. I just..." I paused, fighting back the embarrassment that slithered up my throat, "I don't want them to know yet."
Kade's eyes bored into me with uncertainty, "Violet-"
I waved my hands around, interrupting him, "Look, look," I sighed, "I know that we have to tell the others. But, it's been hard enough to tell y'all already," I held back the tears that wanted to fall, "I can't handle telling them right now. I can't handle everything all coming out so quickly."
I heard Flynn clear his throat, "Violet, I'm not so sure about that-"
"No," A rough voice interrupted him.
I glanced up to see Nathan turned to Flynn, his stubbled face stoic and commanding.
"She has every right to ask us to not say anything," Nathan shook his head at Flynn, now glancing over to Kade, "C'mon dude. You've got to understand."
Nathan pointed back to me, "She's not asking for you to never tell them. She's just asking for a little time," He said in a gentler tone.
The corners of my lips raised as I listened to Nathan's words.
His eyes connected with mine, his strong expression breaking into a softer one.
"She needs us right now," Nathan spoke with our eyes still interlocked, "Not all of them. Not yet, at least."
Nathan and I stared at each other, and my heart swelled from his caring words.
I'd never had Nathan say something like that to me before. He was actually being... nice?
"Okay," Kade's voice spoke loudly, making Nathan and I finally detach our eye-contact.
Kade looked at me, tucking his lips in, "Your secret is safe with us," he sighed.
Kade then scooted towards me on the bed, grabbing for my hands.
His deep blue eyes beckoned for mine, and we stared at each other in a trance.
"I love you Vi, and I understand your hesitance to tell the others," Kade said slowly, "But, we will have to tell them eventually, okay?" He squeezed my hands lightly.
I gripped his back, giving him a slight nod, "Yes, I get that. All I want is just a little more time," I sighed, rubbing my lips together anxiously, "I just, I can't have anyone else look at me this way today," I said shakily.
Kade tilted his head at me, rubbing his thumbs over the tops of my hands, "Like what?" He asked in a gentle voice.
My lower lip quivered and I felt the urge to cry, but I had no more tears left to give.
I looked down at the floor, avoiding everyone's wondering looks, "Like I'm broken," I forced the word out of my mouth, internally shuttering in shame.
I heard a heavy sigh escape Kade's lips, and he pulled away one of his hands to stroke my hair.
"You are not broken," Kade said in a deep voice.
I sighed in defeat.
It felt like I was.
"Look at me, Violet," Kade commanded as he continued to stroke my hair.
I swallowed the ball in my throat, raising my eyes to look at Kade again.
His sharp jaw clenched as he stared at my drained expression.
"You are so much more than what that man treated you as," His lips fell at the sides in a frown, "Don't you dare call yourself broken. Don't you dare give Matteo that much power over you," Kade grit, his brows furrowing in anger.
I licked my lips, my eyes drooping at the sides as I stared at him, "It's so hard not too," I admitted dreadfully.
I wanted to be strong.
I wanted to be me.
But, I couldn't.
Kade frowned sadly, "I know," he whispered.
Kade then sighed, taking his lower lip within his teeth and biting down, "If I could've protected you, I would have. I would've done everything in my power to shield you from this."
As he said this, I felt his hand quiver in my hair, and he drew it back shakily.
I looked up again to see his eyes filled with tears.
"I hate him," Kade's lips moved slowly, his teeth bared in fury as his blue eyes swarmed with pain.
Flynn slowly walked over to stand behind Kade, gripping his shoulder tightly.
Kade lowered his head as I spotted a water droplet fall into his lap.
"We will get through this," Flynn spoke up, and I watched as his hand lightly rubbed into Kade's back comfortingly, "All of us," He said more to Kade and himself than to me. Flynn's angry eyes traced over me with sympathy, "I think this is enough for today," He sighed lightly.
I nodded quietly, watching as Cameron got up from my bed, walking to stand by Nathan's side.
All but Kade stared at me- his head still lowered in deep thought.
"We have some stuff we need to talk about," Flynn said gently, nodding to Nathan and Cameron.
I looked down at my hands, realizing what he meant.
"Without me, you mean."
The room was quiet.
"I just don't think what you need right now is to be listening to what we have to say about... the situation," Flynn said carefully.
I shifted my lips around, playing around with my fingers.
"It's nothing personal, Violet," Nathan's reassuring voice now spoke.
I glanced up, staring at his matted red hair that fell down to his ears.
I scratched my neck as I stared at him, "I know," I mumbled.
Nathan gave me a tight smile, giving a nod to Flynn and Cameron to exit the door.
Cameron gave me one last comforting glance before following behind Flynn as he let go of Kade's shoulder and exited the room.
As the two of them walked out, Nathan walked up to Kade, tapping his shoulder to pull him out of his trance.
Kade shifted, and slowly rose with a sigh— not bothering to look at me as he made his way to the door.
Now, it was only Nathan and I together.
He walked with his back turned to me, approaching the door, but then stopping in his tracks.
I furrowed my eyebrows, and he turned around.
He looked at me with an open mouth, as if he was deciding what to say.
"I care about you, Violet," he finally spoke.
My eyes faltered as I stared at him in confusion, watching as he struggled with himself- shifting from foot to foot.
"I shouldn't have taunted you with your secret," He said regretfully, shoving his hands into his pockets.
I shook my head slowly, "You didn't know what you were doing."
Nathan's eyes dropped from mine, and he stared down at my floor, "You know, I studied psychology both my sophomore and junior years. I was completely obsessed with it," He said thoughtfully.
I crinkled up my nose, listening to him ramble.
"- I was so intrigued with the way humans worked; with our behavioral patterns and emotions," he shook his head.
I squinted at him, "What's that have to do with anything?"
Nathan rose his eyes from the floor, allowing me to finally see the shame hidden deep within his green orbs.
"Your actions spoke a lot louder than your words," He stared at me intensely, "We studied a lot of behavioral patterns within molestation victims last year in psych."
The word victim echoed in my head.
Victim.
The word by definition is a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.
I hadn't thought of it this way until the word came from his lips.
Victim.
Such a dirty, worthless, word.
Victim.
Now, it was my turn for my eyes to drop to the floor.
I cleared my throat uncomfortably, holding back the humiliation I had for myself, "You knew the entire time?" I asked sheepishly.
I sensed him shift from side to to side again, his body making the floorboards creak, "I had an idea of what was going on, but I wasn't quite sure," He replied quietly.
Wow.
I felt my chest fill with irritation towards Nathan now; remembering how he had bombarded me with questions and suspicions until I couldn't speak. Until I felt cornered.
Until he victimized me.
"So you knew the whole time, and still continued to be an ass to me?" I grit, finding my voice to speak up to him.
"No, look, I know how it seems," Nathan said as quick as he could. He inhaled deeply, catching his breath, "I was never for certain about it, though. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to be completely insensitive," He explained tiredly.
"-But you still were," I interrupted his speech.
He stopped talking, leaving a silence between us.
We stared at each other with blank expressions.
"Yea..." He said sadly, shoving his hands into his pockets, "None the less, I was still an asshole. I really regret it. I don't know why I felt the need to prod at your obvious issues."
"Mm," I hummed as I stared at him.
He cleared his throat uncomfortably, "I think some part of me was still sort of upset with the whole Austin deal, and that's why I was like that."
My jaw fell slack, and my frustration now turned into anger.
Austin? He was upset about Austin?
"That's so stupid," I scoffed.
I heard Nathan laugh bitterly, which caused me to raise an eyebrow.
"Trust me," He said through confusing laughter, "I know. I'm eating myself up over it right now, believe me. I would never hurt you."
His words hit a soft spot, and the anguish in my body felt immediately soothed.
Don't be mad at him Violet, my self-conscious entered my thoughts.
Don't you remember how he was the one to care for you? The one to set you down in the car and tell you everything was gonna be okay? She asked to me.
I sighed out loud, staring at Nathan in deep thought.
Ya, I responded to myself, I remember.
The room was tense as we both remained mute.
I didn't know how to go about the situation, but I decided humor might be a good tension diffuser.
I pursed my lips in thought, "I mean, I bet you are eating yourself up— especially since there's clearly a lot bigger issues than Austin right now," I joked with a chuckle.
Nathan's lips turned downwards.
Okay well, I guess comedy maybe wasn't the best way to go about this.
Our eyes found each other's again, and Nathan looked at me sadly.
He licked his lips, his attitude now softer and more caring, "You don't have to joke about it, ya know. Don't devalue your pain," he said to me with a certain look.
Even though I could tell Nathan wasn't responding well to my poor sense of humor, I couldn't stop myself from making it into a crude joke.
I twisted my lips up as I shrugged awkwardly, "Why not? You did," I joked again.
"-Unintentionally," He added with narrowed eyes.
"Sure," I joked some more, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
I sensed his irritation with me and he shook his head back and forth, "Look Vi, I'm trying to apologize for my actions. I know I fucked up and I was not the nicest, but I do care about you and I would've never treated you like that if I had known exactly what was going on," he responded, clearly not hearing the humored tone within my voice.
Well, I tried.
I guess Nathan just wasn't getting the punch-line... After all, it was a pretty bad time to try making one.
I rolled my eyes as I stood up from my bed, walking over to Nathan.
I couldn't hold a grudge with him. Even if a small part of me wanted to.
His eyebrows furrowed at my actions as I got closer to him, "I completely underestimated the situation and I feel so fucking guilty n-"
Without much thought, I wrapped my arms around his built torso— halting his words
mid-sentence.
I pushed my small body into his chest for a warm embrace.
"I know you're sorry Nathan, I know," I muttered into his shirt.
As I hugged him, I realized that I wasn't even upset with him.
Not even close.
I was just resentful towards my situation— not the way he misguidedly handled it. It sucked to see him blame himself for this.
In fact, it sucked to see everyone blame themselves for something I caused. The "I could've" 's and "I should've" 's of the entire situation were painful. Everyone seemed to be blaming themselves for not noticing, or for not speaking up— when really... the only one at fault for this situation was me.
Nathan's body tensed in my grip, but he then soothed- his long arms wrapping around my shoulders.
I sighed deeply, inhaling his sweet scent, "I'm not mad at you, idiot," I said lightly.
"I am sorry," Nathan's voice came out scratchy, "I'm so sorry," he placed his chin on my head.
I felt a wave of guilt for joking so cruelly with him.
He did care about me. I knew he did. He just had some weird ways of showing it.
I nodded into his chest, "I know you're sorry," I repeated, "But, you don't need to be."
We stood in this position for a few beats, and as I tried to edge away, Nathan pulled me back to him- holding me even tighter than before.
My eyes narrowed in question, and I brought my head up to stare at Nathan who was already looking down at me.
I blinked, studying his sharp features; his sculpted jaw, his soft lips, his deep-set eyes.
An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach, and I forced myself to break our eye-contact, dropping my arms from Nathan's waist.
He hesitantly took his arms back, scratching his neck awkwardly, "Sorry," He muttered.
I cleared my throat, "You're fine..."
An awkward silence drifted between Nathan as I took a step back, installing distance between us once again.
We stood not too far from each other with no words left to say— only staring at the floor for an uncomfortable amount of time.
Without another word, Nathan's eyes looked over my face in a silent goodbye, and he exited the door- closing it behind him and leaving me to solitude.
I heard muffled conversations through the walls of everyone for a while, and then Cameron came in to ask if I wanted her to stay with me for tonight.
Even though I knew it probably wasn't the best to be left alone right now, I told her no, asking for some privacy.
Her and Nathan left I assume around late afternoon, and Kade and Flynn aloud me some space for our separate Saturday events.
Chase had brought me some dinner when I didn't come down to grab some of the meatloaf he had made that night. I gave him a thanks in return, and he let me be.
Now, it was about 2 AM and I couldn't sleep. I tried to lay down around 12, but my mind wouldn't let me rest.
I stared up at my ceiling, thinking all about Scotty.
His blonde floppy hair, his chocolatey brown eyes, his deep set dimples.
He was almost my first.
He wanted to be more than friends.
He liked me. He really liked me.
The sound of my door creaking open made me jump, and I sat up quickly.
"Hello?" My voice came out shakily and I could feel my heart beating quickly within my chest.
I blinked, trying to look closer to see if anyone was really there.
Two dark figures emerged from behind my door, and as I blinked again, Kade and Flynn's faces came into view.
"Hey bud," Flynn said gently as the two of them walked up to my bed.
I looked down to their hands to see three bags of popcorn.
"What are y'all doing?" I asked in confusion, watching as they both sat down on either side of my bed, "It's so late."
"We couldn't sleep," Kade answered simply as he opened up his bag of popcorn.
Flynn picked up my covers, hopping under them with me.
"No," I said in annoyance as he settled comfortably into my bed.
I glared at him as he turned to me with a grin, throwing a bag of popcorn at my face.
"Just shut up and eat some yummy, buttery goodness," He said with a chuckle.
The bag bounced off of my face, and I remained glaring at him for a few seconds before turning to my other side to glare at Kade.
"I was about to go to bed," I said through clenched teeth.
Kade just shook head at me, blinking his blue eyes in amusement, "Nah, you weren't."
I narrowed my eyes.
How did he see right through my lies?
I watched as Kade stuck his hand in to his popcorn bag, pulling out a single piece, "We couldn't sleep, and we figured you probably couldn't either," He said as he held the popcorn up to my lips.
I stared curiously at him, not moving forward to take the popcorn, "Guys," I sighed tiredly, "Get out of my be-"
Kade quickly shoved the piece of popcorn in my mouth as my mouth opened.
I widened my eyes at him, chewing the piece in surprise.
"We're having a movie night, you can't say no," Flynn said as he took out his phone, and opened it to the Netflix app.
He looked over to me with a bright smile and twisted his body around under my comforter, pushing his head back into one of my pillows.
I sighed, annoyed with being stuck in between the two of them.
Kade then scooted closer to me, smushing me even closer between the two of them.
I lightly rolled my eyes, realizing that they weren't going to go away anytime soon.
I might as well enjoy it.
I grabbed the bag of popcorn Flynn had thrown at my face, laying slowly back down on my bed and staring into Flynn's phone as he started playing the movie, Mean Girls.
I crinkled my nose at the title, "Y'all really wanna watch this?" I laughed as I shoved a piece of popcorn into my mouth.
Kade turned to me with a smile, "What? It's entertaining."
I giggled, "Mr. Popular likes Mean Girls?" I raised my eyebrow.
Kade shrugged his shoulders, turning his eyes back to Flynn's phone, "I like to think of myself as Regina George," He said with a smirk.
I shook my head, directing my eyes back to the movie as well.
I mean, he wasn't wrong. If Kade were any character, he would most definitely be Regina George.
We all ended up pushed together; my head on Flynn's shoulder, Kade's head on my shoulder; all slumping over each other to watch as Cady Heron single handedly rose to back-stabbing popularity.
For the first time since everything had happened, I was actually enjoying time with my brothers. When they weren't criticizing my every move, they were actually pretty fun people- I was even starting to realize they actually had personalities and weren't just my living, breathing, annoying, body guards.
"God, I don't know why Cady even thought it was acceptable to wear that to a Halloween party," Kade chuckled loudly into my ear.
We all laughed, staring at her parading around in her dead-bride costume.
"Everyone knows girls dress up on Halloween, nobody dresses scarily," He ranted in irritation.
I giggled, "Yea, I know right! That's just not the move," I said back, "She could've been a cat. I was thinking about being a cat this year," I continued.
Flynn snapped his head to me, "That's so damn unoriginal," He sneered playfully.
I rolled my eyes, "Duh, that's like the whole point," I laughed.
"Well," Kade piped up, "If you're going to be a thotty-cat, just like all the other girls, you should at least be a little different— like a tiger or something," Kade complained to me.
I let out a puff of laughter, "How punctual of you," I shook my head.
For the remainder of the night, we enjoyed the rest of the movie- down to the fleeting moments where Cady iconically wins prom queen and splits her crown with everybody.
As the credits started rolling on the phone screen, I blinked my eyes tiredly.
I looked over to my right to see Kade fast asleep on my shoulder, a strand of drool flowing from his mouth and onto my shoulder.
Yuck.
I lightly yawned, turning to my other side to look at Flynn drifting in and out of sleep.
He turned over to my side, revealing his tired face and closed eyes.
Suddenly, Flynn's hand draped over my stomach as he wrapped his body around me.
His leg came up in a flamingo position as he placed it over my thighs.
I lightly groaned, looking up at my ceiling in annoyance as my brothers sleepily suffocated me in the middle of them.
I looked to both of their peaceful faces.
I couldn't wake them up, that'd be such an asshole thing to do after how nice they'd been to me.
I sighed, turning my head to rest on top of Kade's.
He lightly shifted at my touch, moving closer into our sibling pow-wow.
I was eventually able to drift to sleep, the comfort of their presence and smell of sweet cologne allowing me to finally be at peace.
***
The next morning was most definitely an awkward awakening. West came in at around 10 AM, rudely arising the three of us.
"What the hell are y'all doing?" His voice erupted loudly in laughter.
The three of us all sprung awake, turning to look at our bodies all interlocked with each other's.
Arms, and legs were tangled all over and Flynn was basically on top of me.
We cringed at each other, separating our bodies and looking to West uncomfortably.
He gave us an uncertain look, his eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched up.
"Y'all are fuckin weird," He laughed, turning around and beginning to walk out of my room, "I don't even wanna know," He said, raising his hands into the air.
As he exited, the three of us all looked at each other with weird expressions.
"Well, frankly, that was the best I've slept in a long time," Flynn laughed as he tossed my comforter off of him, standing up awkwardly.
Kade chuckled, rolling out of my bed as well, "Now, let's never do it again," He said, resulting in a laugh from all of us.
"Agreed," I responded, to which they both nodded.
With that, they left my room and we didn't talk the rest of the day until our mandatory Sunday dinner rolled around.
I threw on a sweatshirt, tying it tightly to hide the marks on my neck from everyone else.
I hopped down the stairs, winding into our dining room where everyone was already sitting whilst munching on some sort of chicken meal.
I glanced over to Lucas' chair, taking note of it's emptiness.
"Nice of you to finally show up," Lance said through a mouthful.
I nodded casually, sitting down at my usual spot and staring at the massive chicken breast on my plate.
"Chicken parmesan," Flynn said from beside me, "It's good," his brown eyes motioned for me to take a bite.
I obliged, picking up my fork and knife and proceeding to eat some of the chicken.
"So, next weekend is my first game of preseason," Lance said to all of us.
"Really?" Chase asked excitedly, looking to Lance with bright eyes.
Lance nodded in return, smiling back at Chase.
"You're gonna do great, you got a nice arm on you," West spoke up.
"Thanks Westie," Lance said as he shoveled another bite of chicken into his mouth, "But, we really should be praising your game from Friday night," he boasted for his little brother, "How many tackles did you get again?" he asked happily.
West smirked in pride, "Like 15, I think."
"Damn!" Chase beamed to him, "You really are a prodigy, maybe you can follow in Lance's footsteps and get a scholarship to LSU," he said as he looked between the two of them.
Lance grinned at West, "I would love if we got to play on the same team," he said joyfully.
West nodded eagerly, "That's literally my dream," he gushed.
Kade reached over, patting West on the back, "You can definitely make it to the big leagues if you put enough effort in."
"For sure," Lance agreed with Kade, "I would kill to make it to the NFL, but I don't think our certain affairs would allow that in my schedule," He chuckled lightly.
The other boys also chuckled.
"It's not like you need the money from the NFL anyways," Flynn added.
"True," Lance answered with a shrug.
West looked over to me now, his eyes searching my face, "I wish you could've made it to my first game of the season," he said sadly as he popped out his lower lip.
I laughed, trying to ignore the guilt that flooded my senses, "Me too, but I'll be at the next one- I promise," I smiled lightly.
West narrowed his eyes playfully, "You better be."
I rolled my eyes jokingly, "I will, I will."
West cleared his throat, "Did you have fun with Cameron at least? If you didn't, your absence from my amazing performance was a complete waste," he joked, but I felt an unidentifiable feeling flip my stomach around.
As the corners of my lips slowly sank down, Kade quickly sprang to cover my awkwardness.
"Yea, she and Cameron had tons of fun," He forcefully laughed, "Nathan told me he came home to his house littered with junk food and nail polish bottles."
West laughed, his eyes now directing to my hands placed on the table. His laughter halted and he squinted, "Violet's nails aren't painted, though," He said unsurely.
This time, I sprang to cover Kade's tracks, "Yea, I just painted her nails- I didn't like any of the colors she had at her house to paint mine," I explained casually, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.
West laughed, believing my statement, "Girls are weird," he said with a shake of his head.
I tucked my lips in, "Mmhuh," I mumbled in agreement with a shy smile.
Suddenly, a buzz erupted from the table, making everyone's attention turn towards it.
There, my phone sat face-down, gently ringing throughout the now quiet room.
I stared at it hesitantly, watching as it wiggled back and forth.
"Well, aren't you gonna answer that?" Chase spoke to me in confusion.
I snapped out of my daze, reaching for the phone and bringing it close to my face, reading the caller ID.
Scotty McNeal.
My face instantly heated up, and I found myself declining the call, quickly putting it back down on the table.
Everyone stared at me with confused faces.
"Who was it?" Lance asked suspiciously.
I shook my head with a nervous smile, "Nobody important," I answered.
The phone rang again.
Lance's dark eyes glanced down at my phone, "Well, it sure does seem like you're important enough for them to call again," He said pointedly.
I stared back at him, not making a move to pick up the phone.
Why was Scotty calling?
Lance's eyes narrowed at me, and I smiled sheepishly at him.
"It'll stop ringing soon," I said casually, picking up my fork to take another bite from my food.
Soon, the phone, indeed, did stop ringing.
"So, what were we talking about?" I asked with a nervous smile, trying to keep our normal conversation rolling.
Chase cleared his throat awkwardly, "Well, jus-"
His sentence was cut short by the once again obnoxious ringing of my phone.
I grit my teeth together, staring down at the phone in irritation.
"Goddamn, just answer the noisy thing before I smash it," West said in annoyance.
I sighed, reaching forwards to the phone and scooting my chair out quickly.
I walked hurriedly out of the room, making my way down the hallways and into one of our bathrooms without another word to my brothers.
I held the phone up to my eyes, feeling a knot of nervousness form in my throat as I re-read the caller's name.
Scotty McNeal.
I licked my lips, accepting the call and bringing the phone to my ear timidly.
"Hello...?" I asked shakily into the phone.
"Violet!" Scotty's familiar voice spoke.
I clenched my eyes shut, the smoothness of his voice making me shiver.
"Hey," I sighed after a moment, reopening my eyes and taking a seat on top of the toilet seat.
"I've called you, like, twice already," he sighed in exasperation, "You had me worried."
I twisted my lips up, "Sorry," I replied guiltily.
I tapped my feet anxiously on the floor.
"Are you okay?" He asked concernedly.
"Yea," I said automatically, "I'm good."
I heard Scotty sigh from within the phone, "I'm sorry about Friday night, I tried to help and I didn't wanna call your brothers, but I just had no other opt-"
"-You're good, Scotty," I interrupted him, "It was the right call," I admitted.
"I don't know," Scotty's voice came back quietly, "I'm sorry, I never wanted your brothers to find out."
I could hear the frustration in his voice.
"Me neither," I replied, "But, it's okay. We're all good. I'm all good."
"Good," Scotty said softly, "I just didn't want anything bad to happen to you. Well, anything worse from what had already happened."
I hummed in agreement back into the phone.
The line fell silent.
"Violet?" Scotty asked.
"Yea?" I replied awkwardly.
I heard him gulp, "Do you remember Friday? With... us?" He asked shyly.
My body froze as I replayed the moments between Scotty and I.
His body on top of mine, our lustful actions, the heat of the moment. His lips on my lips—moving in perfect sync.
"No," I responded in a whisper.
I could basically feel Scotty's heart drop within his chest.
"Oh."
I held my jaw tight as I fought against the urge to scream yes. To scream that I remembered it all— every, single second of it. Even down to the daunting moment of his hands wrapped tightly around my neck.
"Violet?" Scotty's broken voice spoke up again.
I held back the emotion I had, only allowing myself to respond robotically.
"What?"
"I don't want to be friends," Scotty said confidently.
I bit the inside of my cheeks, "Scotty-"
"No, Violet, hear me out," He spoke over me.
I sighed, waiting for his next words that I knew were going to make my heart plummet.
"I love you, I can't get you out of my mind, I love you," He said desperately, "I don't want to be friends, I want to be your boyfriend," He rambled.
I brought my free hand up to my face, shielding my eyes as if it would magically save me from the embarrassment of our conversation.
"Sc-"
"I don't wanna be your 'high buddy' I want to actually mean something to you," He sighed, "You may not remember Friday, but I do- and we both wanted to be with each other."
I licked my lips, deciding to avoid his indirect call-out, "You already mean something to me," I reasoned gently.
"But, I want to mean something greater than that," Scotty pleaded, "Look, I even told you this on Friday- I don't want to be friends."
I stood up from the toilet seat, pacing nervously around the bathroom, "Scotty, I just..." my voice faded away, not being able to speak what I had to say.
"Please tell me you love me too," He begged, and in that moment I could imagine his big, brown eyes looking into mine; searching deep into my soul only to discover that the feelings he had for me were not returned.
I imagine how broken he'd feel.
If I were with him right now I just know I would crumble under the pressure. I would tell him all he wanted to hear. I would throw myself into his arms and let him love me how he so desperately wanted to.
"I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship right now, Scotty," I whispered into the phone.
He said nothing.
"I'm sorry," I muttered as I felt a tear drip from my eyes.
It was never my intent to play with him like this. I never expected for him to get emotionally invested.
"Is it because of that Matteo guy? Is he like your ex-boyfriend or something?" Scotty asked gently, confused by my rejection of his love.
I felt my chest tighten at the mention of his name, now recalling how I did, in-fact, bring his name up to Scotty during my drunken episodes.
"Ya..." I lied, "Something like that."
I heard him sigh from within the phone, "Can we just meet up tomorrow to talk about this in person? Lunch time? My car?"
"Scotty, I don't thin-"
The bathroom door swung open and Flynn appeared within the doorframe.
I froze, looking at his dark features with wide eyes.
"Violet?" Scotty asked worriedly.
I didn't reply, just staring at Flynn like a deer caught in headlights.
"Who is it?" Flynn's voice demanded roughly.
"I-"
Flynn quickly walked to me, pulling the phone down from my ear and looking at the caller ID.
"Violet," Scotty's voice came out muffled from the phone, causing Flynn to look up at me with narrowed eyes.
My mouth hung open, looking at Flynn with no explanation to offer.
Flynn clenched his jaw, now bringing the phone up to his ear.
"Hey, Scotty," Flynn spat into the phone, making my skin crawl.
Shit.
I couldn't hear Scotty's end of the conversation, only being able to listen to Flynn's intimidating words.
"You should stop calling my sister," He stated plainly, "Goodbye," he said, pulling the phone away from his ear and ending the call with a quick push of his finger.
He handed my phone back to me with an empty stare, shaking his head lightly.
I stood with my tail between my legs, obvious embarrassment all over my face.
"Why were you talking to him?" Flynn asked in a monotone voice.
I avoided Flynn's eye-contact, glancing down at the tile floors.
When I didn't reply, Flynn sighed, "Hello? I want an answer," He said sternly.
I twisted my lips, "He had a few things he wanted to say," I answered honestly.
"You know you're not going to be seeing him again, right?" Flynn asked.
I took in my bottom lip, rolling it between my teeth.
"I don't want you around him, or any of those guys anymore. You should start sitting with us at lunch again," Flynn suggested, but we both knew it wasn't negotiable.
I nodded hesitantly, now bringing my glassy eyes up to his.
Flynn's face softened as he noticed my expression. He shot me a soft smile, quickly placing a hand on my shoulder, "I'm not trying to be a dick, okay? He's just not what you need right now, even you know that," He reasoned with me, using his thumb to rub circles into my shoulder.
I soothed into Flynn's touch, attempting to think rationally.
"Yea," I sighed painfully, letting Scotty's confession of his love for me run throughout my mind.
It was exactly what I had dreaded.
"Good," Flynn replied, turning around to exit the bathroom.
I looked down at the floor ashamedly, grasping my phone tightly in my hands as I followed him back into the dining room.