Warning: Mentions of family death.
And I will keep you warm
Through the shadows of the night
Let me touch you with my love
I can make you feel so right
- "The Lady In My Life" by Michael Jackson
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Michael
I awoke to the irritating sound of our ringing telephone. Since the disruptive sound was coming from Y/N's side of the bed, she was the first one to sleepily sit up and reach out to answer it. As I adjusted my position on my pillow, I rubbed my eyes in an attempt to help them adjust to the darkness of the bedroom. Due to our choice to close the curtains earlier that night, minimal light was entering the bedroom. Our plaid, black-out curtains, which were behind our heads, were restricting any possible moonlight from shining through. However, our lace curtains, which were on the walls to the right of us, allowed for some moonlight to penetrate through and give the room a dim, silvery glow.
"Hello?" Y/N's soft, tired voice spoke, making me turn my head to look at her. She was holding the phone up to her left ear while she massaged the bridge of her nose with her right hand. Judging by the irritated look on her face, I could tell that she was just as tired as I was.
"Hm?" She hummed, signaling for whoever was on the other line to repeat their words, "Yes, this is she."
She was quiet for a moment as she listened to the person speak. I could hear the small voice on the other line speaking frantically to her. However, I couldn't make out the words he or she was saying. Y/N combed her fingers through her hair, something she always did when she grew nervous or anxious.
"Hang on, hang on. Slow down, please," she said, her voice beginning to adjust to its normal tone as her tiredness wore off, "What did you say?"
Furrowing my eyebrows in concern, I began to adjust myself to a sitting position. I grabbed the pillow that I was lying on and pressed it against the headboard. Scooting up, I leaned my weight against the supportive structure. Y/N continued to listen to the voice on the telephone, continuing to run her fingers through her hair. I watched her from my spot next to her, observing her body language. If something was wrong, it wouldn't take me long to figure it out. After knowing her for so long, I found myself to be the best person to read her emotions, even when she tried to hide them.
"Wha—" she spoke, cutting herself off by placing her hand over her mouth.
This caused the concern to spike within me. Now, I knew something was either very wrong or very right. It was clear that something had shocked her immensely. I placed my hands on the mattress before scooting myself closer. As I did so, she began shaking her head, keeping her hand placed over her mouth. As I closed the distance between us, the concern within me grew. I placed my hand on her lower back, beginning to rub her skin in an attempt to soothe her.
"Baby, what is it?" I whispered, moving my hand to run it through her hair.
"I'm so sorry, Ma'am," I heard the voice speak. Due to my closer proximity to the telephone, I could make out the words that were being said. Y/N adjusted her hand over her face, preventing me from seeing her facial expression. However, by the way she was hunched over and hiccuping gently, I could tell that she was crying.
My heart felt as if it had shattered into a million pieces. There was nothing I hated more than seeing my baby cry. "Baby, hey . . ." I spoke softly, never ceasing from rubbing her head, "What happened?"
"O-Okay, thank you," she said, nearly choking over her words, "Have a good night."
I watched as she hung up the phone, feeling anxiety grow within me as I took in her heartbroken expression. Scooting even closer, I leaned forward to get a closer look at her.
Like I'd expected, her cheeks were wet. My eyes softened as I reached out with my other hand, preparing to pull her into my arms. Before I could reach her, though, she shook her head and pulled away from my grip. My confusion grew as she stood up and walked towards the bathroom. I tried to reach out to her, but she moved quickly, seeming to be purposely dodging my grabs.
"Baby, wha—" I began, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, "What's going on? What's wrong?"
I stood up as I watched her disappear into the bathroom. My concern continued to grow as I followed after her, picking up speed as she prepared to close the door.
"Hey," I said, placing my hand on the door to block her from closing it, "Now, don't be like that. What's the matter? Please, baby."
She released her grip on the door, allowing me to push it open and let myself in. I watched as she moved to the middle of the bathroom, continuing to run her hand through her hair. She'd turned herself away from me, still trying to prevent me from seeing her tear-stained cheeks. I reached out and gently grabbed her waist.
"Y/N . . ." I whispered, trying to turn her around.
After fighting me briefly, she finally decided to oblige and allow me to see her. As she let me spin her body around, she kept her gaze on the floor, letting her hair hang over her face. I sighed before reaching out to tilt her head up. And once she allowed me to, at last, I was able to see her beautiful eyes.
"What is it?" I finally asked, keeping one hand gripping her chin while the other rubbed her back.
She stared up at me, not saying a word, at first. Then, her bottom lip began to quiver and her eyes refilled with tears.
"You um . . ." She rasped softly, "you know my brother, right?"
I nodded, feeling my confusion grow. "He's in the Air Force, right?" I asked, trying to think about what she'd told me about him.
Y/N didn't speak about her family often, but I was aware that she had a brother. She didn't seem him often, however, because he decided to join the Air Force as soon as he graduated high school. I wasn't sure what her relationship was like with him, but I remembered her telling me that the two of them had an altercation before he left, leaving her heartbroken in her Los Angeles childhood home.
"Mhm," She hummed, "he was."
I quickly caught her last word. My chest tightened as I painfully spoke. "Was?" I whispered.
She bit her lip and closed her eyes. I let out a breath in realization as my gaze softened. She wasn't acting this way because of there being something wrong between us. She was mourning and didn't know how to handle the news.
"Oh baby," I said softly, "I'm so sorry."
I tried to reach out to her again, but she pulled away, walking to the corner of the bathroom and putting her hands on her head. I followed after her, now understanding where her pain was coming from. As heartbroken as I was for her, I was glad that she told me. Now, I understood how to handle the situation and what I needed to do. When I approached her, she turned around and gently slapped my hands away.
"No, no, no, no, no," She rasped, shaking her head as she began walking to another spot in the bathroom.
I interpreted her movements as a sign that she did want me here, but she was fighting with the urge to push me away. If she really wanted me to leave her alone, she would've left the bathroom and begged me to let her be. However, though the bathroom door was accessible to her, she remained in the room, never fully separating herself from me. She wanted me with her, but she was too overwhelmed by the devastating news to communicate that in words. Keeping this in mind, I knew that, as much as she gave her weak attempts to push me away, she truly didn't want me to leave her.
"Here, c'mere," I said softly, reaching out to her again. I grabbed her waist, once again before turning her to face me.
"No, no, Michael," she whimpered, her voice quivering as she grew more frantic.
The news was beginning to hit her. "No, no, no, he can't. He isn't. I didn't get to say it. I didn't get to tell him g-goodbye. N-No, he isn't gone."
Y/N began rambling as her breaths came out in shallow gasps. She was on the verge of a breakdown.
"I know, baby. God, I know. I know," I said, gently gripping her wrists as she attempted to push me away once again.
As she shook her head, I pulled her to me. All of a sudden, her cries rose to a completely new level. My eyes widened slightly as she fell apart right in front of me. She tugged weakly at my grip before falling into my chest.
"He hated me," she cried, "He left this world hating me!"
Her words stung my heart. I couldn't help but feel for her. I was sure that she would have loved to make up with her brother, even if it was through a letter before he returned home.
"Okay, okay," I whispered, mostly to myself, as she pressed her hands against my chest before I finally succeeded in pulling her in, "Right here, right here. Oh, baby, I know, I know. Oh God."'
I felt a lump in my throat as her legs began to give out. Her heartbroken cries increased in volume as I held her body against mine, slowly bending down to move us to a sitting position. She wrapped her arms around my neck as I moved her body and settled her onto my lap. Keeping one hand on her waist, I reached back with my other hand and assisted myself in scooting back to lean against the wall.
As she continued to release her overwhelming emotions, I could feel her anger that was coming out with it. When she cried, she let out a few agonizing screams, making my heart shatter into a million pieces. Even though I understood it all—where all of the hurt and pain was coming from—it killed me to see her suffering from so much anguish. This pain was deep, and it would take her a while to recover from it.
"I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't mean to hurt him, Michael," she cried, leaning her head back, making me cringe at how uncomfortable that looked.
"I know, I know, baby," I replied, grabbing the back of her head and leaning it forwards.
I leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on her forehead, continuing to rub my hand up and down her back. She leaned forward and placed her head in the crook of my neck. Feeling her wet cheeks pressing against my skin, I adjusted my head so I could kiss the top of her head. I began rocking us back and forth as she continued to cry. I hated that I couldn't take this pain away from her. There was nothing I wanted more than to free her from this draining torment. She didn't deserve this. She shouldn't blame herself, but I knew she always would.
Holding her close, I moved my hand to the back of her head, once again. Acting gently, I began rubbing my thumb against the back of her loose head of hair, hoping to soothe her with the gentle motion. If I couldn't soothe her miseries away with my affection, the least I could do was temporarily put her out of her misery by coaxing her to sleep. I didn't want her to suffer anymore of this tonight. I knew many more tears would come in the future, and I was ready to be by her side throughout this entire chapter.
No matter how long it took, or how many nights she cried, I wanted her to know that she wouldn't have to deal with this alone.
"Shhh . . ." I hushed her, sensing a decline in her cries, "Try to get some rest. You're gonna get through this."
She shook her head in response.
"Yes you are," I whispered, feeling her nodding off against my neck, "because I'm not leaving your side. I'm gonna be with you all the way through it. I promise."
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Thank you for all for the positive feedback! Also, a few of you have commented on my recent choice of the "Y/N" face claim. I love reading stories that offer visuals to help present a mental picture, and I've been wanting to be more active with the picture feature for a while now. :)