Neither of us moved. I could only gape at him, stunned. His words had struck me speechless. He didn't look away but there was no mistaking the hurt in his eyes. I wanted to say something, to erase that pain yet, no words would come out.
Finally, he looked away first. The muscles in his neck tightening, as he looked away from me. I tried to say something—anything—but I lost my chance as he walked past me and left.
For some time, I stood frozen in my place. Unsure, of what to do. What to think or feel. Somehow, I found my way back to my room.
Sitting on my bed, silently staring at nothing; whilst his words rang in my ears.
"You're misunderstanding something."
Misunderstanding? What's there to misunderstand?
Loathsome?
How can it be loathsome for me? Shouldn't that be my line? I get everything I want from this alliance, but what does he get?
"Did you really have to run away? I will call off the wedding."
"You can live your life however you want. I won't expect anything of you."
All this time, I was only thinking about myself; oblivious of what he would be going through because of me.
"I married you bearing Allah as my witness."
"You are my wife, which makes you my responsibility."
While Rayyan, he—'
I couldn't finish the thought. My hands shook as I opened the side table drawer and pulled out the diary in which I saved his note. Tracing my hand over his neat writing, I wished he would've said something hurtful, so that I could get out of feeling guilty. I might just have ruined someone else's life, while trying to fix mine.
"You're absolutely the worst, Zaira."
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I stood outside the door, balancing the book in one hand and trying to knock with the other. After knocking once, I stood quietly; rocking on my tiptoes. Throwing a quick glance at my baby pink dress, which I had chosen with Buwa (nanny), who also helped me braid the sides of my hair.
I couldn't stop talking to her about him, ever since he helped me climb tree. If it weren't for Harris bhai, I could've talked to him more.
Suddenly the door, opened and an elderly lady came out. Her face showed surprise, on finding me at her door.
"A—" before I could say anything, she bent down to kiss me on either cheeks.
"Oh! If it isn't Zaira! Ma sha Allah! You've grown up, so much—Rayyan! Rayyan—Zaira is here to see you—" She had suddenly, started dragging me into the room and I couldn't help but feel abashed at her enthusiasm. I came into a large room, having a huge bed on one end and a sitting table and chairs on the other; where he was seated.
He watched me enter with a scowl.
"What are you doing here?" He questioned without hiding his disgust.
"Rayyan. Be nice, dear." His Grandma rebuked him at which he turned away.
"Now come along, sweet. Take Zaira out to play." At her words, he cried out horrified.
"Play?? Nanna—! Do you think, I play—! And with her—!" He got up screaming. I looked away, my lower lip puckering at his hurtful remarks.
"Rayyan Huzaifa Abdullah." She announced loudly and he immediately shut up. I felt myself jumping at that, as well.
"Is this how I've raised you?" She asked softly and came to stand in front of him, who was now frozen in his place; his eyes downcast and hands clenched on both sides.
"No...Nanna—" He returned slowly.
"That's right. I don't recall, doing so. Now, what should you do?" She asked in a low voice. He glanced up at her and then came up to me. Glaring at me with hate filled eyes before looking away and mumbling in a small voice.
"I am sorry, Zaira. For acting the way...I did." In that moment, despite feeling scared of him, hearing his apology made me feel a sense of guilt for getting him scolded.
"It's no problem... I am sorry, for getting you in trouble." I returned sheepishly with a shake of head and held out my free hand. He watched me bitterly but took my hand while glancing at Granny from the corner of his eyes.
"Now that's proper good, ain't it dear? And it goes without saying but Rayyan, this won't happen again, yes? It would make me very sad, otherwise." Granny took him by his arms and he gave her a nod.
"Are you still very mad at me?" I was trailing after him, who was walking ahead of me with quick long strides.
"Rayyan." I called out again; yet, he didn't stop. I skipped to him and clutched at the back of his T- shirt
"Ra—" Before I could complete he turned to face me with a jerk, slapping my hand away.
"WHAT?!" He shouted and I fell butt flat on the ground to find him watching me with quivering lips and face red with anger.
"What do you want!" He screamed again and I gasped, letting out a small sob. Yet, his eyes didn't soften.
"HUH?!! Why can't you leave me alone?!" He screamed and I shirked away with a jolt.
"I—I just wanted to give you this book—" I whimpered, unshed tears stinging my eyes. His eyes skipped to the book that had dropped from my hand, when I fell. With one swift move, he went ahead to pick it and then turned to me with seething gaze.
"Are you happy, now?! HUH?! I hate you! ALL OF YOU!! Why can't you all leave me alone!! JUST. LEAVE. ME. ALONE!!" His voice cracked as he screamed before sprinting towards the Haveli, while I sat there, crying angry, bitter tears.
And then, I did leave.
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My eyes froze at the breakfast placed on the table.
'No note this time, huh.' I thought grimly and sat down to eat.
After cleaning up, I decided to give my parents a call. Hearing an earful at my insolent behaviour and making apologies a million times, for leaving without saying a word; I started feeling a little bad about what I did.
'Why do I always have to be regretful after doing something terrible.' Sigh.
I was going through a list of academies that my sister had sent; to apply, for preparation of PLAB part 2, when the bell rang. I looked at the time and wondered if Rayyan had returned early today.
'He didn't say anything. Yeah, like he would after what I did, yesterday.'
I thought with a shake of head and wondered why didn't he use his keys, like usual. However, when I saw through the eyehole, an unknown suspicious man was standing outside my door.
—————————-
I kept quiet while sitting in the backseat of the Bentley, whilst the unknown man in black Tuxedo kept driving silently.
I watched the phone in my lap with a feeling of gloom, at the fact that he hadn't responded yet. Maybe, he's just busy.
"We're here Maam." He finally spoke a word, after 5 hours. I watched the automatic gate open and we were led into a beautiful estate with an even grander Mansion.
Still in a trance, I got out of the car, as he held the door open for me, when my eyes fell on the kidnappers.
"Granny! Grampa!" I exclaimed while running towards them; their faces beaming with excitement on my sight.
"Oh my dearest! Dear—Lovely—sweets!! I am so happy to finally see you." She exclaimed emotionally while enveloping me in a tight hug. I returned her embrace with equal Love.
"I missed you Granny!! So much!" My voice trembling, as I hid my face in her arms. She pulled away finally and cupping my face in both hands, showered me with kisses. I could only giggle at that before bending to greet Grampa, who was sitting on the wheel chair. Taking his hands in mine, I placed kisses on the back of them.
"Assalamualaikum Grampa!! You look fitter than I saw you last decade!" He roared in laughter and pulled me closer to give me a peck on either cheeks.
"Why you precious little lovely thing! Haven't changed a bit yourself!" He remarked cheerfully clutching my hand. I still couldn't believe, I was meeting them again and like this!
"I was scared out of my wits! It took the poor guy half an hour of convincing that he was really sent by you two, for me to open the door. He would have been behind the bars, if I didn't get your call." I cried with a shake of head, while going in; dragging Grandpa's wheel chair.
"It was your Grandpa's idea. He thought it plenty fun." Granny uttered completely exhausted.
"Wasn't it a memorable ride, dearie?" He returned with a chuckle and I found myself smiling beside them.
"It sure will be, when Rayyan finds his missus missing." Granny remarked with a sigh.
"Well that should teach him a lesson—! That darn brat! Keeping our daughter, away from us." He cackled once more.
Ah! I am so glad to be here.
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I freshened up in Rayyan's bedroom and came down for lunch with them.
Later, after Grampa had went for a nap, I sat on the counter top, eating the raw cookie dough, while Granny baked them.
"—I remember when we first met you, during Saeeda's funeral. I used to feel so worried for Rayyan at that time." She said with a smile.
"You would come to see Rayyan and talk non-stop. He pretended to not be interested but when you would leave, he wouldn't stop talking about you. It made me so happy. I thought, maybe he'll start liking it here, afterall. " She continued cheerfully. I didn't remember any of this. Must've been barely 4 at the time, but I didn't say this to her.
"Zia wanted Rayyan to stay with them, after adopting him. Rayyan didn't like it there at all. Even after we convinced Zia to let him come only for summer break; Rayyan wasn't happy." Granny continued solemnly.
"I still remember that day when he fought with Harris. You came too, later that day. I knew he was getting bullied, but he won't tell me anything. He knew it would hurt me. I couldn't —" Tears glistened in her eyes and she sniffed in her napkin. I jumped down and gave her a side hug.
"Granny. Please don't cry." I whimpered, in her embrace at which she only shook her head.
"That night... after fighting with you, he was inconsolable. He kept crying and screaming to return home. He hated it here, he said." Granny continued, staring at nowhere. Her hand caressing the back of my head.
"I couldn't help him Zaira. My poor Rayyan—" she started sobbing and I felt like my heart was being stabbed.
"Granny. Please don't cry. Please...None of it was your fault. It's alright now. You both did better than best. Please don't say such things." I cried, taking her hands in mine. She looked down at me with a faint smile.
"Yes. It's finally alright now." She remarked with a small smile, taking my face in her hands and placed a kiss on my forehead.
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I returned to his room and sat down on the bed, thinking about Granny's words. I didn't know what to feel anymore.
While I was having these thoughts, my gaze caught on something familiar. I walked up to the bookshelf and dropped down onto the floor after pulling out the book. My lips parted in surprise, as I caressed the title page with trembling hands.
'The Wizard of Oz'
from Zaira Hameed to Rayyan.
I remembered crying in Buwa's lap the entire night. This was my parting gift for him, before we left next morning. I waited for him, until I could no more, but he never showed up. And when I finally did return, everything was different. Even us.
I couldn't think beyond that. Because he was here.
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