Hi Everyone!
Welcome to Part Four! The FINAL part of this story!
Here is a nice long chapter for everyone! I hope you enjoy and don't forget to vote and comment!! <3
Love, Luckycharms <3
---
The air had changed in Aathikara. The world suddenly seemed darker... more bleak. I thought that I could even smell the blood in the air, but maybe I was over exaggerating. Maybe I was imagining it. Though, those thoughts did not really matter because there was blood in the air. A lot.
After the murder of the Maharajah, Aaryan took the throne and marked the first two weeks of his reign with blood and death. Many noble heads of families were executed for high treason, their houses either being completely abolished, or, in the case of surviving noble households, some more trustworthy son or relative was reinstated as the new head of the family.
By the end of all of this, though a few noble families still kept their riches, only six major households remained a part of the court.
Aaryan had written new laws in a matter of a couple weeks, and these laws forbade the presence of nobles in private court meetings unless they were one of the six new, trusted court members. Though Aaryan could remove or replace any of these six court members at any time, only they were allowed to partake in any sort of decision making... essentially, Aaryan had stripped nearly all the nobles of their ability to influence the royal family.
Each one of the new court members were given a job... a role he best fit... that he was meant to fill. Thus, the remaining six court members become ministers.
The Minister of Finance was an old man from a noble household in the east that was loyal to the royal family for centuries.
The Minister of Trade was the young man who was the son of the man Aaryan killed in the west right before Aathavan was born.
The Minister of Labour was a man I had never seen or heard of, but was quite young for someone who was taking on the role of minister.
The Minister of Justice was yet another man I did not know, though this old, frightening looking man was indeed someone I had seen many times before.
The Minister of Education was Lord Suryadeva, one of the two men who helped me with my plans of educating the peasants.
Finally, the Minister of War was, of course, Lakshmanan.
Other nobles were given minor roles here and there, mainly to keep them busy, but overall, Aaryan had won. These nobles could not threaten his claim any longer, and if they did, they knew Aaryan would pursue them with no mercy.
The royal family... well... it became more broken than it already was.
During the chaos that day in the throne room, Aarun and the Queen had fled. They fled North, or so I heard, to stay with the Queen's family. Aaryan did pursue them, but came to an agreement with his mother's family. His uncle, the eldest brother of his mother, lead the dealings and they came to an agreement that Aaryan's mother and his brother will remain as exiles in the North, confined to the estate and not permitted to leave until or unless permission is granted by Aaryan.
Aaryan agreed to this, certain that no further damage could be done by those two while stuck there. But to be safe, Aaryan stationed his own men up north, promising that any attempts at deception or disobedience would be punished by death.
More death.
Akshayraavanan, Aaryan's brother who I had little to no relationship with, was for the most part gone. He told Aaryan that he wanted a bigger role in court and so Aaryan made him the foreign minister of sorts. Apparently, though he was quiet, he was smart and well versed in many languages. He was liked by many foreign leaders and was especially trusted by religious leaders. So Aaryan tasked him with sending the news to all the neighbors that Aaryan was now king. He was also tasked with making sure that the foreign leaders could be trusted and they did not oppose him.
Anbu... well... Anbu didn't go anywhere, but was so broken-hearted about what had happened that Aaryan decided the best thing to do with him was to push him deeper into his studies. Maybe Aaryan hoped that it would get his mind off of everything... though I don't know how much that helped. I checked on him often, and as the days progressed I saw him begin to accept the situation more. I didn't know how much of a good thing that was, but seeing Anbu smile did make me feel a lot better.
And of course, the King was dead.
His funeral was terribly depressing. Though Aaryan was the one who killed him, he made an effort to hold a grand funeral for his father. It was a week-long event and it was filled with terrible mourning. Lady Suhanya was the most broken... so much so that I couldn't help but think that she was going mad. If people did not know of their love before, her wails after his death would have been enough for them to finally understand.
She refused to speak to anyone... locked herself up in her room and only came out when it was time to finally cremate him. When she finally did come out, she looked horrible. She looked sick and in pain and... just horrible.
It was painful and heartbreaking, though really, all I could think of was that Aaryan's father, the grandfather of my children, was never going to see his grandchildren grow.
He had always wanted a daughter and he had gotten so close to getting the next best thing with Maya... he was only just getting to know her.
And now he never would.
And it was strange... as per the traditions, Aaryan, the eldest son, was the one who was meant to conduct the funeral. At the time of death, whether the son was disowned or not, it meant nothing. The mere words and laws of mortals meant nothing in the eyes of the gods who controlled fate and made Aaryan his son, and so despite the fact that the Maharajah had disowned Aaryan right before his death, Aaryan still had to conduct his funeral.
And as I watched Aaryan, who was wearing a white funeral veshti, a thin thread around his bare chest and no jewelry, I felt my heart ache.
I wondered how he felt... conducting the funeral for the man he killed.
His father.
When the rituals were done and he lit the pyre I felt as if the whole world was crying. Lady Suhanya's cries were the worst, but nearly everyone there cried. And when Aaryan took his spot by my side while the pyre burned, I saw that his expression was as hard as stone.
He and I had not spoken since the murder.
I could not bring myself to speak with him.
He stayed in the palace while I stayed in our home, and any time he came, though I let him spend time with the children, I stayed away.
Mostly I cried, feeling helpless and not knowing what to say or do. I also cried because I had no idea where we would go from here. How could anything ever be 'normal' ever again? How could I ever look at him, the man I love, and not see a killer?
We could have left all of this.
He could have just allowed his father and those nobles to steal the throne from him and then we could have left. We could have gotten the life that I wanted. I didn't care if that meant the nobles would continue to influence the throne, or that Aarun would have been a horrible king. If that was an alternate to my husband being a murderer... the murderer of his own father... I would pick that alternate any day.
I knew it was selfish, but I did not care.
And I made sure he was aware of it. As I cried with everyone else, I spoke to him for the first time since the murder. I told him how I felt. I told him he was crazy, and how he was the reason our children lost their grandfather, and how we could have left all of this to be happy.
And as I cried and tried to wipe the tears that just kept coming, I looked at my silent husband and saw that his face was still as hard as stone... like my words did not affect him at all. Eventually, when the ceremony was done and the sky turned black with the thick smoke from the pyre as well as the setting of the sun, he turned around and left.
---
From then on, I only made myself present in the throne room on the day of the official coronation, where Aaryan became Maharajah. The heavy, extravagant crown sat on his head and I wondered if he was pleased with himself... or if the weight of that crown was finally going to get to him.
As soon as I was no longer needed, I went back to our home. I did not stay for the celebrations because I felt like I needed to be home, and I had heard later that neither did Aaryan..
After the funeral, Lady Suhanya had gone into a state of shock. She did not leave the side of the pyre until I physically dragged her away with the help of some guards. She stopped talking, she even tried to stop eating, so I had taken it upon myself to care for her.
I brought her home with me, taking care of her as often as I could. It was hard, seeing that she was always in bed, refusing to eat or drink or even bathe. But usually after a little bit of convincing, I could get her to eat... especially if the children were with me. It seemed that though she was in a state of shock, she was aware enough to not want to upset my children.
I did what I could.
I felt that after all the times she was by my side caring for me, I owed her that... and I felt that this was the least I could do to try and make up for the fact that my husband had killed the love of her life.
Sometimes, in the evenings, when Aaryan came to visit the children, he would stop by her room. If I was there when he came, he would simply come in and sit by her side for a little while, sometimes holding her hand. They wouldn't say anything.
Other times, if I wasn't there, he would shut the door and I would hear whispers. I could hear his whispers because his voice was deep and it would pass through the walls, but I could not hear her. I didn't know if she was responding, but I figured that maybe he was apologizing.
I didn't know for sure.
After over a month of this had passed, a month of us not speaking to each other, a month of him being Maharajah and a month of him coming home only to see the children, I had considered returning to my village.
I wanted to go home. I wanted to see my family. I wanted to get their advice. I wanted to know what they were thinking. My family had written to me once word had reached my village... and for the first time ever, I felt as if they were speechless.
For the first time, my father could not give me the advice that I needed to hear.
All he could say to me was 'be strong.'
I needed more than that. I needed to talk to him.
I knew Aaryan needed to see his children... I knew that though we were not speaking, and though all of this evil had happened, Aaryan was good at being a father to his children.
The children, who were oblivious to all of this, for the most part, loved seeing their father.
But I needed to see my father. However, even if it was for a little while, I could not bear to leave my children behind, which is why I knew I needed to take them with me.
And it was as I was making arrangements to leave that I realized that I couldn't.
I had just finished getting Lady Suhanya to eat and I was turning around to go wash her bowl and then prepare my things when she grabbed my arm. It was a light and weak grab, but I was surprised, turning around quickly.
She looked at me.
Really looked at me, for the first time since all of this nonsense happened.
"Have you not noticed, love?" She asked, her voice just as weak as her strength.
I sat back down next to her, taking her hands in mine. "Noticed what?" I asked. "Is something wrong? Tell me and I will help."
She kept her eyes on me. "You're pregnant."
I narrowed my eyes, thinking that she really was going crazy. "That's impossible." I was still breastfeeding. And even if I could get pregnant, Aaryan and I had not made love since before he killed his father.
"Look at yourself," she said. "Your sadness and stress has caused you to ignore the changes in your own body."
I shook my head, "Lady Suhanya, you are imagining things."
She smiled a small smile. "Do you think I am going crazy?"
Though I did think that, at least a little, I felt a little embarrassed.
"I have been a midwife for nearly all my life. No matter what, those senses will never leave me."
I watched her for a moment before nodding. "Alright, let me check in the mirror," I said, only to appease her.
When I left, I went on with my usual tasks. I checked on the children, cleaned their mess, fed them, spoke to Lord Suryadeva about the updates on the schools, and it was only as night came and I was about to take a bath that I finally actually looked in the mirror.
And when I did, I dropped everything I was holding.
With tears streaming down my face, I quickly put my saree back on and though it was a mess, I rushed to Lady Suhanya's room.
She was awake, sitting up in her bed, and when I reached her side I dropped my head on her bed and began sobbing.
Lady Suhanya was not surprised, nor did she question the tears. She, instead, put a hand on my head and ran her fingers through my hair.
I was pregnant.
"I can't be..." I cried. "Not now."
"You can," she responded. "I am not surprised."
I looked at her. "What?" No. I couldn't. How could I be pregnant now? When there was so much turmoil and pain and horror and death in the air? How could I bring another child into this world? And how could that even be possible? How could I be pregnant while breastfeeding? Especially if it was a few months ago that I would have concieved the child?
How could it be?
"What do you think?" She asked.
I narrowed my eyes, confused, still crying.
"I think the Gods are sending him back to us."
Now my brows rose.
"You have managed to get pregnant even though you are breastfeeding. It's rare... a miracle... why else would the gods put a life in you now if it wasn't to send the soul of the King back to us," she smiled warmly. "They're giving him another chance... this time... to be happier."
I swallowed back the lump in my throat.
And as ridiculous as all of this was... as horribly confusing and impossible and unbelievable as everything was... suddenly, I felt less scared.
If she was right... if this was true... if it was even possible... then the gods were allowing me to be pregnant for a reason. Maybe they wanted to give Aaryan another chance? Or maybe they wanted him to pay for his crime by making him the father of some soul that was once his own father.
Whatever the case... I realized, if I could believe that this child really, truly was the reincarnation of the King... then I should no longer be scared.
---
A few days later, Aayu came to visit me. Aayu came to visit me often, and it was thanks to him that I knew about everything that was going on in the palace. He kept me informed and up to date and the only reason I knew anything of importance was thanks to Aayu.
I was happy Aayu was back... it was the only good that came out of all of this nonsense.
However, as he walked into my home today, he did not look as pleased as he usually did.
We usually sat in the garden as we talked, ever since I had woken up from my sleep since Maya's birth and was able to walk around, I had been maintaining that garden and it had become quite beautiful. It was a good place to just sit and relax. In fact, sometimes Aaryan would sit there for a little while before he left us again... even now that we were not speaking.
After offering Aayu tea, I sat in my seat across from him and watched as he leaned forward and just looked at me for some time.
Despite the fact that I still had a heavy heart and I was still hurting from everything that had happened, today was a beautiful day and the feeling of the sun on my skin made things seem a little... better. I wondered if maybe I should share the news with him... the news of my surprising pregnancy. But then again, I hadn't even told Aaryan yet.
"What is it?" I asked him, when he continued to stare at me. "Did something happen."
"No," he leaned back in his seat. "Nothing happened, that's really the problem."
I raised my eyebrows.
"Seetha, I was hoping you'd make your way to court on your own by now. It's been two months since Aaryan was crowned Maharajah. I know you are having trouble coping but you cannot stay away for long."
I frowned and looked at my hands.
"You still have not spoken to Aaryan?"
I shook my head slowly. Aayu had made an effort to not bring up my concerns with Aaryan. I realized now that he was letting me go at it at my own pace... though now it seemed that I was pushing it.
"Seetha..." he reached out and touched my hand. "I understand you are upset... you did not intend to marry into such a complicated family, but what is done is done and you need to move forward."
"What's done is done?" I asked. That seemed to have been the silliest thing that had ever come out of his mouth. "I married a man who killed his father! Your father!"
"And do you still love him?"
"Of course I do," I hissed. That was part of the problem. No. That was the problem. I still loved him. Any sane person would have picked up their things and left, children and all. But I still loved him. I was still here. Instintincitvely, I put my hands over my belly... I was here and I was carrying another one of his children.
"Then you need to move on. What's done is done," he repeated, though this time speaking the words more slowly and sternly. "I understand how you feel, really, I do. Do you think I wanted things to end this way?"
I knew he had some part in the planning. I remember being furious with him when I found out, I cursed him and told him that it was his job to stop something like this from happening... not push for it. He was supposed to stop Aaryan. He could have stopped all of this.
I yelled at him as if I thought that he could go back and change things, and though I knew it was irrational. It didn't stop me from berating him.
But Aayu... was not like Aaryan. As I yelled at him and cursed him, he listened. He did not argue back, like Aaryan would. And it was only when I was done that he spoke up to respond. He spoke his case, not to try and convince me, or to explain himself. He was just telling me what happened, trying to be logical. He was not emotional or angry or upset or anything. He was just being logical, and I found that I could not argue with him.
How could you argue with someone who was just saying things as they were?
He seemed to read the expression on my face well. "I just knew that it had to go this way, we discussed this already, Seetha. We need Aaryan as Maharajah. We need him to take a stand against the nobles. This is the only way we can move forward. The nobles only take up the handful of our population and nevertheless use up all of our money and resources and time."
I looked back down at my hands, knowing he was right, though the morality of how they got there made little sense.
"If Aaryan lost his throne things would have continued the way they have been since my great-grandfather... or maybe even gotten worse, with Aayu as king. And we needed to stop that. If we want to move forward, we needed to grab the power back from the nobles... and unfortunately, our only way to do so was to kill my father." He winced when he said the words, and I knew how wrong they must have tasted. "I am sorry this happened Seetha, I really am... but this is a warrior kingdom. This is how things have always been done."
I let out a breath.
"I care for you Seetha, I really do, but we cannot wait for you much longer. You are forgetting that so many people chose my brother's side with such ease because they love you. Your lack of presence in the throne room... the perceived, and real, distance between you and my brother... what do you think that is doing to the minds of the people?"
I hesitated, looking at him.
"People are becoming restless. Many will stop supporting my brother if you make it seem like you do not support him... and what do you think that will lead to, Seetha?"
Death.
I didn't need to answer. And Aayu knew that I knew. "Do you think Aaryan wants... or needs... that?"
I shook my head.
He seemed pleased with my understanding, but then he narrowed his eyes a little bit. "Seetha... you are the Maharani now. Do you realize that?"
Once again, my eyes widened.
This was the first time I was thinking of this. I had not even really realized it.
The thought did not even cross my mind. I was so focused on everything else... on the pain and my anger and my sadness that I forgot what Aaryan being King really meant for me.
I was... a Queen.
"Do not forget your role now, Seetha... do not forget who you are now... and do not forget that people have faith in you... they fought for you so you must fight for them now, as their Queen. And though you may hate to ever admit it, Aaryan's decision to wipe away half of the noble class has done nothing but help the very people who love you... the people you must fight for now. Everything that was taken from those nobles is yours to give to the peasants... however you want. Aaryan has made it easier for you."
A rush of nervousness filled me as I realized the truth in that. I knew very well that the reason for why the peasants struggled so much was because the nobles were so greedy.
"So enough moping. Take on your responsibilities. Now," he said. "And do not forget, Seetha... that more than anyone, Aaryan needs you. In more ways than one. Seetha, there is no one better to be his Queen than you."
At that moment, I remembered something. I remembered some of the last things that Aaryan's father had said to me before he died. I remember him telling me that he was certain that there was no better man to rule Chandraba than Aaryan. And how he knew that Aaryan would be the one to get rid of the greedy nobles.
I remembered that he also knew something bad was going to happen... so I wondered now if he expected it to go this way.
But as I thought of that, I remembered him telling me that he had faith in me. How he knew I would be a good Queen, and as I remembered his words, I felt some of the weight rise from my shoulders. But just as I continued to reflect on his words, I also remembered him telling me to support Aaryan. He told me that he knew Aaryan needed me, and he wanted me to help Aaryan be king... those were his last wishes for me.
And as of now, I had failed in that sense.
Aayu sat silently with me for some time, letting me think.
And I took advantage of that opportunity.
Especially when I remembered one last thing: the King had told me to tell Aaryan that if he is looking for his approval, to go to his office. I never had a chance to tell him that, because the next time I saw Aaryan, it was when he killed his father.
I frowned, wondering what the King would have said to him.
If he had a chance to say it... would it have changed anything?
Maybe that's why I was pregnant again so soon. Maybe the King's soul wanted a chance to say what he wanted to say?
When Aayu decided that I had had enough time to think, he reached out and touched my hand again. "You need to remember... if you are hurting this much... imagine how Aaryan feels? You know as well as I do that he is not evil. Imagine how this is weighing on him? Imagine what it must feel like to be known as a man who killed his father."
"You think I don't think of that already?" I asked.
He smiled a small smile. "Then tell me when you are ready. You need to make yourself present at court-"
"I'll go now," I said, feeling nervousness rush through me. "Might as well."
His smile grew as he stood up. "That's the Seetha I know and love," he said warmly before leaning forward and kissing my forehead. "Come."
I stood and watched as he waved his hand at one of his attendants. The young woman blinked in surprise before lifting the skirt of her saree and rushing off. By the time I entered my home with Aayu, a long line of women were pretty much marching in, each holding something different. Some had jewels, some had silks, some had makeup, but the thing that caught my eye was the crown.
It was... massive.
I found myself gulping. "You... were already prepared for this?" I looked at Aayu in disbelief. "What if I had said no?"
"You wouldn't have," he said, not looking at me but smiling. "If the answer was to be a no, you would have left already."
I looked at him with an expression of shock.
Sometimes... though I knew Aayu was good and I knew I loved him... I could not figure out if he was always a step ahead because he knew me well, or if he was just manipulative.
"Maha," Aayu called, either ignoring my stare or not noticing it, "time to work your magic."
Maha was standing at the base of the stairs, watching in shock as the line of women made their way into the dressing room. When Aayu spoke, she looked at me in shock. "You are going?"
The excitement on her face worried me a little.
Was everyone just... waiting for me? Waiting for me to take onmy responsibilities?
To answer her question, I simply nodded.
Maha looked thrilled. She walked over to me and took my hand. "Finally," she said before pulling me forward.
Getting dressed this time around took longer than it ever had, and the time it took wasw challenging, since I was also trying not to make it look like I was obviously pregnant. Of course, the time it took was unsurprising. They were dressing me to look like a queen, afterall.
I had seen Aaryan's mother enough times to know what that entailed.
The saree was made of the finest of fabrics, I could tell from just how heavy it was, and after it was draped over me nearly perfectly, the decoration began. They covered me in jewelry, so much so that almost as soon as it was all on, the weight of it all made me ache almost instantly. It was all solid gold... the necklaces, the earrings, the nose ring, the waist chain, the bangles and bracelets and armbands and everything.
It was ridiculously extravagant... and I knew Aayu intended it to be that way.
He wanted me to look like a queen... maybe he even wanted me to look more like a queen than his beautiful mother ever did. He wanted everything about me that screamed 'village girl' to be hidden. He was trying to prove some sort of point.
He was always thinking ahead.
From the first time, when he made me dance their ceremonial dance a specific way, to when he helped me keep my son, to now, when he chose how I would present myself.
It was no wonder Aaryan picked him as his advisor.
Usually Advisors were old, experienced men... but Aayu was Aaryan's younger brother. It baffled nearly everyone in the kingdom, but not me.
After Maha had painted my lips a deep red colour, one that would match the red and gold of my saree, she took a step back and smiled before looking at Aayu. "She's ready."
Aayu, who was leaning against the wall, smiled at my maid. "Not yet," he said as he pushed himself off from the wall and walked over to the small stool where the large, golden crown sat. When he picked it up, I felt the nervousness return.
It was so strange how an object, an object that could do you no harm, could send so much fear through you.
"Do I... need to put it on... now?" I asked. "Can't we wait until we get to the palace?"
When he turned and walked over to me, he stopped right in front of me and looked at me with a smile. It was warm, as always, but I could see a seriousness in his eyes. "You leave this room as Maharani. Everyone must know that from the second they say you. You are their Maharani," he said. "And that is what you will be until the day you die... or until Aaryan dies."
I let out a short, unhappy laugh.
"Do you understand that?"
I nodded.
"Good," he said. Then, he lifted the large, helmet like crown and set it on my head.
It was just as heavy as I imagined it would be, and when he turned me around so that I could look at myself in the mirror, I caught my breath.
The massive thing was the size of my head, so when he put it on me, it gave me an extra head of height. Covered with intricate designs and hundreds of jewels, I imagined it to be worth a hundred times more than anything my family had ever owned.
Such a pointless thing.
Aayu put his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. "And there we have it," he said. "The woman who will change our world."
The woman who stared back at me was unfamiliar... and I wondered if I would like her much.
He smiled at me through the mirror. "You look beautiful," he said. "Now let's not waste any more time."
When we left the room, my new look had the kind of effect on people that Aayu had probably hoped for. My maids and guards and everyone else froze in their tracks, staring at me in awe before bowing low.
I found myself blushing, fiddling with the pendent of one of my many necklaces as I watched them, not knowing what to say or do. "You... you don't have to do that." I said, rather stupidly.
It made Aayu chuckle, and as people rose, I saw the smiles on their faces too.
I knew they loved me. I could see it.
And somehow that made me feel a little more confident.
Aayu put a hand on my back, urging me forward, but just as he did, I heard a loud, exaggerated gasp.
It was Aathavan, and in a panic, I turned quickly to find him, my crown fumbling a little as I did. "Aathu?" I called, wondering if something was wrong.
He was standing near the door that led to the garden, mouth gaping while his two, young attendants standing behind him. The boy then ran to me, as fast as he could, shouting 'amma!' as he did. When he reached me, I knelt down in front of him, something that was quite challenging to do with all of this on, and I had to hold my crown as I did. "What's wrong, love?"
"Amma, you look beautiful!" He shouted, loudly enough to make Maya, who was struggling to run after her big brother, startle and fall over.
I felt my cheeks warm and nearly all the fear in my heart lift. That fear, almost instantly replaced with love. "Do I?" I asked, hearing the chuckles behind me.
He nodded his head quickly. "You look prettier than a flower!"
I smiled warmly at him as I pulled him into a tight hug.
He hugged me back, but soon pulled away and put his hands on my face. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to go see Appa," I said.
"You think Appa will think she looks beautiful too?" Aayu asked, teasingly.
Aathavan, who didn't know he was being teased, answered quickly. "Yes, yes," he said, nodding eagerly. "But Appa always think Amma is beautiful. So he will say Amma is even more beautiful!" He threw his hands up in the air as he said the word 'more.'
I kissed my son's cheek as the small crowd of maids and guards laughed at him.
"So Amma love Appa again?" he suddenly asked, ignoring the laughs.
The question surprised me. "What?"
"Amma no talk to Appa. And Amma no sleep with Appa," he said. "So you love Appa now?"
I still could not understand how observant this boy was... despite his age, he noticed everything. And the fact that he noticed this too broke my heart. "You silly boy," I said, hugging him tightly. "I will always love your father. You don't need to worry about that."
"Really?" He asked, pulling away and looking at me.
"Of course." I knew he could hear the honesty in my voice, so he smiled at me. "Now then... I will leave you here to play with your sister and friends while I go see Appa, okay?"
He nodded. "Okay!" But as I stood up, he hesitated. "Wait!"
I tilted my head to a side.
"You forgot something."
I raised my brow, but watched as he turned and rushed up the stairs, crawling up them with a practiced speed as his worried attendant chased after him.
I watched from the base of the stairs as he rushed into my bedroom, I heard a bit of a rukus, and then when he appeared again, he held a pair of silver anklets in his fist as he grabbed onto the railing and hurried down the steps, taking one step at a time.
When he reached me, I was gawking. He held the anklets up for me to take. "Appa say these are yours!"
I had completely forgotten about those.
In fact, I hadn't even noticed that they were gone.
I tried to think back to when I took them off, not able to remember. Had I taken them off? Had they just fallen off? "Where did you get these?" I asked, kneeling again.
He hesitated, looking suddenly worried. "I... find them."
"Where?"
He looked like he thought he was in trouble. "I play with your boxes and I find them."
I found myself chuckling, my heart suddenly aching again, but in a good way. I remembered Aaryan grabbing my foot and putting them on me despite my protest. I remembered him promising to never silence me. And I remembered dancing for him as he played the flute.
It felt like centuries ago.
I felt my eyes water as I smiled at our son. "Do you want to help me put them on?"
Knowing he was not in trouble made him grin widely. "Okay!"
I lifted my saree up and helped my son put my anklets back on me. He looked thrilled, excited to be able to help me in any way, and when they were on, he stood up and jumped up and down. "Let me hear! Let me hear!"
I lifted a leg and shook it, the sweet sound of the bells loud, despite their size.
Aathavan grinned. "Now everyone will hear you come!"
I smiled, but as I did, I noticed something.
I looked up and saw Lady Suhanya standing at the top of the steps. This was the first time in a long time that she had left her room and she was smiling warmly.
I smiled back, assuming I was receiving her blessing, and then I took a deep breath, feeling like everything I wore was no longer that heavy.
---
When we arrived at the palace, Aayu linked his arm with mine as we reached the throne room. "We're a little late, but no matter," he said. "Remember to look confident. Look like you are meant to be there... because you are."
I nodded, taking a breath.
Aayu nodded at the doormen, who quickly rushed to pull the large, heavy doors open.
"When you reach him, you must bow at his feet," he said as the doors opened. "In front of everyone else, he is your King before he is your husband," he said. "Do you understand?"
I nodded again.
"And then you will take your seat beside him," he continued. "For today, only speak when you are asked. I'm sure Aaryan would not mind you expressing your opinion, but just for today, stay silent and be observant.
"Okay," I said.
The doors were open now and Aayu pulled me into a walk.
The throne room had changed.
Despite the fact that Aaryan had a court of only six now, it was crowded today, which made sense. Aayu would have wanted me to make my entrance on a day when many people were there. However, almost all the old families who had lost nearly everything stood, as did everyone else who was there. Near the foot of the dias, there were six golden seats, three on each side of the dias, each one for one of the ministers.
The golden seats faced each other, and the six men standing in front of them and looking at me with surprise.
They were the men I would be working with going forward... I was happy to know I could trust at least half of them for certain, like Lakshmanan and Lord Suryadeva, for example.
I felt a little better, especially when I saw Lakshmanan smiling widely at me.
Of course, I could not ignore the elephant in the room for too long. Or maybe lion... or tiger?
Whatever the case, my eyes drifted up the dias and towards my husband, who was standing in front of his throne. I didn't look at his eyes, mostly because I was nervous, and also because I hadn't looked at his eyes in so long. I was scared of what I would see.
Anger? Disappointment? Maybe the same coldness that I saw at his father's funeral?
Whatever the case, I was not entirely ready for it.
When we reached the base of the dias, however, Aayu pulled his arm away. When I looked at him, he smiled confidently at me. "My Queen," he said, bowing his head. before bowing his head.
I wanted to make a face at him, but I knew now was not the time.
So instead, I took a deep breath and made my way up the dias. I kept my eyes down until I knew I was pushing it too far, and when I finally looked up at my husband, I realized I had been worried for nothing.
Aaryan looked at me the way he always did.
With love.
With a look that no one else in this world would understand. No one but myself and his children.
Though, the last couple months had definitely changed him. He looked... aged... but maybe it was because he grew out more of his facial hair. Hi hair, which I also knew had grown out more, was covered mostly by the crown that he wore. It nearly matched my own, though it stood a little taller. And of course... he looked tired. I could tell that he was not getting much sleep. I could see the exhaustion in his eyes.
And I couldn't help but think that he was no longer the same Aaryan who had put these anklets on me.
So much had changed... and as I looked at him, I realized that I too would have to change.
I had two children to raise... a third on its way... I had to be a mother and a wife.
And now a Queen.
If I wanted to do it right... any of it... I would have to begin accepting these changes.
When I reached the top where Aaryan stood, I immediately bent down to bow at his feet, as Aayu had suggested, but before I could do that, Aaryan grabbed me by my arms and stopped me.
I didn't realize how silent the room was until that moment. This whole time, my thoughts were so loud in my head, but when he touched me again, after what felt like so long, I was silenced.
"None of that between us," he said, loudly enough for everyone to hear. He put a finger under my chin and lifted my face so that I was looking right at him. "As of this moment, you are my equal in this world. As Parvathi is to Lord Shivan... that is how the world is meant to be."
I blinked my surprise.
He lowered his voice, just for me to hear. "You look beautiful," he said. "Perfect... like a Goddess."
Despite everything... Despite all the pain and sadness, he still managed to make my heart skip a beat.
He then turned me around to face the court, speaking loudly again. "Please welcome the new Maharani of Chandraba with your love, support and loyalty," he said. "You will treat her as you treat me as she is, after all, my other half."
Everyone bowed, getting down on their knees... even Aayu bowed low, and Anbu too, who I noticed was now next to his brother.
I wasn't nervous anymore.
I wasn't scared.
Not at all.
Maybe it was because, as I turned and looked at my husband, who looked pleased, I knew that no matter what... no matter how unbelievably insane the situation was... no matter how angry I was at him, he would support me.
He would be there for me.
He gestured at the seat next to him, the seat which his mother used to occupy, and it was only when I sat that everyone rose again.
I was Maharani now.
I let out a deep breath.
As soon as Aaryan took his seat next to me, the court session began again. Court members updated us on the nation's affairs and once that was done, peasants and nobles alike lined up to seek an audience with us and share their concerns. Despite the fact that everything had changed... nothing had changed.
I was so used to these kinds of meetings, they were long, somewhat tedious but also rather eye-opening... the only difference was that I was sitting on the throne, Aaryan next to me.
As the guards organized the groups of people who were here to speak with us, I heard Aaryan speak. "Are you here because you have forgiven me?" His voice was low, so only I could hear him, and he didn't look at me as he spoke.
I didn't need to think. "No," I said.
It was true.
I hadn't forgiven him for what he had done.
Not yet... and I didn't know when I would. I didn't even know what he would have to do to make me forgive him. All I knew was I had not. Not yet.
"But," I continued. "That does not mean I don't love you... and it does not mean I will stop supporting you."
He nodded his head slowly.
"And..." I took a breath. "And I'm pregnant."
Aaryan looked at me now.
I didn't say anything else... I waited for him to speak first.
"How... long?"
"At least three or four months now."
"It's so soon. Maya is still so young..." he started, but then began to look away. "But good. This is good news."
"Lady Suhanya thinks your father will be born again in this child."
Now he looked back at me, this time frowning.
I looked at him too. "Your father said something to me before you killed him," I said, rather bluntly. I didn't miss Aaryan flinch at my words. "He told me... that if you want his approval, to go to his office. You'll find it there."
I watched his eyes as they drifted away from me. He was thinking.
"I think you should go there," I said. "He may not be here any more but maybe you will find some answers. Maybe the gods will show you that they still favour you." Or maybe they won't.
He nodded slowly. "I will," he said. "I will go later today."
"Good," I said, looking back at the people who were ready to speak to us.
He had grown tense after my words... I could tell. I could feel it.
Good.
It means he still cares.