Chapter 192, the final countdown has begun!
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Hawk returned to Sterlingshire castle like a lost sheep. Scared of what lay ahead of him, he decided to enter the cathedral and throw himself in prayer. Gone was the fun loving, powerful Fay, in its place was a man full of regrets.
He was falling into deep depression, the kind of depression that was lethal to the soul. He didn't deserve Nessa, he told himself, she deserved a man, not a beast! What was he even thinking to agree to such a plan, a plan that destroyed everything inside him.
How was he suppose to live with Nessa, knowing that he had betrayed her? He had betrayed the one person whom he had promised to love till death do them part! William had warned him against telling Nessa the truth, but the truth would set him free. He had to tell her, he could not live this way. He was dead inside, and he wanted to start living again. Telling her would release his pain, and he could be happy again.
Taking a deep breath of inhalation, Hawk walked out of the cathedral, and headed straight into the castle. He would find Nessa and confess what he has done.
He found her sitting with her mother, Kyra, and a few ladies of the court, sipping their tea in the tea room. She did not smile up at him when he walked into the room, she was still upset with him from the night before.
"Come Nessa," Hawk motioned for her to follow him, "we need to talk." He told her, and without waiting to see if she would follow him, he turned around and walked out of the tea room.
Nessa wasn't to fond of him lately. In fact she was looking forward to their talk, so she could tell him off. Marching after him angrily, she followed him up the stairs and into their bedchamber.
"Step inside and close the door Nessa." He told her calmly, and Nessa did as she was told.
"Come sit near me, there is something I want to tell you." He told her gently, and Nessa did as she was told. Sensing something was drastically wrong, she forgot all about being mad at Hawk, and waited patiently for him to reveal what he wanted to tell her.
Sitting in the chair opposite him, Nessa looked into Hawks pain filled eyes and was alarmed at what she saw. What could have happened that had him so upset, she thought, as she braced herself to hear his words.
"I have done something very bad Nessa!" He told her in a broken voice. " I have betrayed you in the worst possible way."
The color drained from Nessa's face, and her heart almost stopped beating, as she waited patiently for his confession.
"I have done something unforgivable and can not live with myself anymore." He said, "I need to tell you to cleanse my soul. I have loved you desperately Nessa, but I was put in a position that no man in love needs to be." He sounded tortured. Dropping to his knees in front of her, he lay his head on her lap and cried.
Nessa's heart beat wildly. What did he do that he regretted this much? Her hands caressed his beautiful, thick, golden hair, and she looked down at him waiting to hear his confession.
Lifting his head up, he looked at her with tear filled eyes, and with trembling lips he said, "I slept with the Valkyrie queen Nessa, I have betrayed your love and beg for your forgiveness!"
Nessa looked at him, and could not believe what she had just heard. Not Hawk! He would never betray her, he loved her, didn't he? "No Hawk, you did not betray me my love, you would never do that to me, you love me." She told him, as her heart started to sink in a pool of darkness.
"I did Nessa! I betrayed you!" He said, "I didn't want to hurt you, but there was no other way, it had to be done in this way."
Nessa pulled her trembling fingers out of his thick mane of hair, and pushed his head off her lap. At that moment the door swung open and William stood at the door, "Hawk stop, don't speak no more!" He ordered breathlessly, but he realized he was too late by the way Hawk looked at him. Glancing at Nessa, he knew that his vision had started to come to life. Fear struck his heart at the realization that if his vision were to come true, it would change everything in Sterlingshire castle.
Pulling her body slowly up from the chair she sat on, Nessa walked silently to the huge windows and her eyes fell past the courtyard, all the way to the gardens, where snow had covered the grounds and made it look like a winter wonderland.
William focused back on Hawk, who looked like he was in a world of his own. Oh Hawk, what have you done my friend, He thought silently, sadden by the chain of events that will follow next. With a sinking heart he walked out of the chambers, deciding to call a meeting with the family to discuss what they must do.
Hawk finally woke up from his pathetic state and lifted himself off the floor. He realized why William had tried to stop him from revealing the truth. He had made a huge mistake telling her, he knew that now.
In two long strides he reached Nessa and lifted her in his arms. Walking to the bed he gently lay her on it and sat himself next to her. She didn't even try to leave, she just lay there as if in a trance.
"Nessa, I did what I did for the future of humanity. Had I not slept with the queen we would have not been able to place Abby on the throne, and the world as we know it would have ceased to exist come Christmas!" He told her desperately, hoping against hope that she will forgive him. "It meant nothing more to me, than a way to help your family accomplish their goal." But even as he spoke those words, he knew that he was doomed. He saw the emptiness in Nessa's eyes as she looked past him to the wall. There was a stillness that claimed her, that did not go unnoticed from Hawk, and suddenly he feared for her life.
Hawk pulled her into his arms and wept. Oh he wept, and wailed, and called out her name numerous times, but she did not respond. She had placed herself in a protective shield to ward off the pain that was threatening to claim her heart.
The Fay knew that he had done this to her, but he would not let himself wallow in pity anymore. Something had to be done to help Nessa come out of this state that she had fallen into.
"Wake up Nessa, talk to me, yell at me!" He begged her, "tell me that I'm an idiot, smash something on my head, spit on me!"
Nessa remained quiet, she was lost in her pain, and could not respond to him.
"Oh Nessa, what have I done!" He cried out, just as the door crashed open and Michael ran in the room.
"You told her!" He whispered, "and by doing so you signed her death warrant! William came too late to stop you."
Hawk did not understand Michael's words, but he knew that whatever it was, it was very serious. What exactly did William see in his vision, he wondered, as his heart sank to the bottom of the pit.
Lidia and Kyra came running in the room next, and he left Nessa in their hands, and ran down the stairs to the library where he knew he would find William.
Thrusting the door open, Hawk found Michael's brothers in deep conversation with William, but silence fell into the room when he walked in. They all looked at him with sympathy, and they filed out of the room one by one, until, he was left alone with William.
Running his fingers through his long black hair, William sighed restlessly, and glanced at Hawk. Images of what he saw in his vision, was haunting him, and he didn't know how to tell Hawk.
Hawk saw the look on Williams face, and dropped his huge body on the chair. "Tell me William, I need to know." He said in a trembling voice.
"She's going to die Hawk. By telling her, you started the final countdown to her death. Why did you not heed my warning and keep your mouth shut?" William asked hoarsely. "She didn't need to know that you slept with Kara! Didn't you know that that would break her spirit?"
"I could not live with myself William! I betrayed the only woman I have ever loved, I needed to confess it to her, and ask for forgiveness!" Hawk said, "tell me what you saw in your vision William, and do not hold anything back!"
William hesitated at first, but realized that even if he withheld the information from him, the events will take place, nothing could stop it from happening. "Nessa is going to die Hawk, she will not be able to handle your betrayal."
"What?" Hawk asked, not grasping Williams words, until he saw the tears in Williams eyes that threatened to spill. Only then did he see the severity of the situation. "How, when, why," he cried out loud, as devastation claimed his heart.
"Listen carefully to what I say Hawk. It is done, and there's not a damn thing you could do to undo it! Fate mocks us and hopes we fall into its trap. There is nothing we can do at this point to stop the effect."
"How long do I have with her?" Hawk asked.
William noticed the calming sound of Hawks voice and he wanted to cry his heart out. Hawk was falling into fates trap, and soon Sterlingshire castle will be mourning two losses!
"Not long. I do not know how or where it shall happen, my vision just showed me that you mourned deeply for her loss." William said.
"Why can't she get past my betrayal? Don't you have healing herbs to heal her? I thought Druidess were immortal?" Hawk asked desperately.
"A Druidess becomes immortal at the age of twenty two my friend. Until then, her body is weak like a human. Depression is a very powerful sickness, and since Nessa is not yet twenty years old, she can fall deeply into depression. My visions always come true Hawk. It would be best for you to accept this and prepare yourself." He told Hawk, and wondered how Lidia was going to handle the devastation of losing her child.
"I don't believe you William!" Hawk roared, "there must be some healing herbs that we can give her to help her. In America they have many pills for depression! I will go there and bring some back!" He said angrily.
William didn't have the heart to tell him again that all his visions came true no matter what. He just simply smiled up at him, and nodded his head. Knowing that when he comes back, Nessa will, have already joined the spirit world, but mayhap it would be better for him not to be here for that. He would not be able to handle it.
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