Bill stared out the kitchen window, until the fresh pot of coffee finished perking.
"Hun? Do you want another coffee?" he called out, as he poured his coffee.
"Ise love a coffee dere, hun."
"I'm sure you would, Nanny Dove," Bill laughed.
Jarge was squawking, at the front door, as soon as Bill walked in the living room.
"Another comedian."
He walked to the front door and opened it.
"Go fly a kite."
Jarge waddled out the front door. Bill watched until he was in flight before he closed the door again. He looked at Nanny Dove.
"Where is Matty?"
Nanny Dove started laughing.
Bill was just a few steps from the front door, when a knock came to it.
"I wonder who that could be?"
"Maybe it bes da Avon Lady."
"Ha, ha," Bill rolled his eyes, as he opened the front door.
Matty was standing outside the door, holding two grocery bags.
"You're an asshole sometimes."
She walked past Bill, pushing the two bags in his arms.
"Open the door for a gull and close the door on your girlfriend."
"Girlfriend? When did you become my girlfriend again?"
Matty stood glaring at him.
"You close the door on me again and we will be just roommates."
"With benefits?" Bill laughed, as he headed for the kitchen.
"You wish."
"Ise tinks dat bes a no dere, Willam."
"You stay out of this old lady."
Bill looked back at Matty.
"Honestly, I didn't see you there, sweetie."
Matty started laughing.
"You are way too easy there mainlander."
I walked into the kitchen, to put the groceries away.
"I'm surrounded by comedians."
"I ran into Freddy Simpson at Tucker's. He said there were a couple strangers in town last night."
Bill walked out of the kitchen, a few minutes later.
"What hun?"
He walked to the coffee table and picked up a pack of smokes. As he lit it, he glanced at Nanny Dove.
"This is not your house and I will smoke here if I want."
She stopped knitting and stared at him, a sad look on her face.
"I never says a word dere, Bill. Why does youse always tink Ise such an evil old woman?"
"Sorry. Natural reflex."
She started laughing and knitting again.
"Matty bes right. Youse way too easy, mainlander."
Matty walked to Bill and picked up the coffee from the coffee table.
"Did you hear me?"
"What's that hun?"
Matty walked to the liquor cabinet and poured Irish Creme into the coffee.
"I was talking to Freddy Simpson at Tucker's."
"You know something, Matty?"
She turned and looked at Bill.
"I know a lot of somethings."
"In all the time I have been here, I don't think I have ever seen Freddy Simpson or Gertrude."
"Of course you have. They were both here that day Freddy put up the screens. Don't you remember?"
"Oh, you mean the morning after you tried to blind me?"
Matty rolled her eyes.
"That was an accident."
Nanny Dove laughed.
"Yes, me son. 'ow were she to knows that youse were dumb enuf to stares into the light'ouse light?"
"I didn't do it on purpose."
Matty continued.
"And they have been at all the town meetings."
Bill shook his head.
"I just can't remember seeing them there."
Again Nanny Dove laughed.
"Just looks fer Jack Sprat and 'es wife."
"What?"
"Jack Sprat," she repeated.
"Who is Jack Spratt?"
Nanny Dove stared at me.
"Is youse be serious, Willam? Its bes an old nurs'ry rhyme."
Bill shrugged.
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Jack Sprat 'es eats no fat. 'is wife she eats no lean. But, together both, da twos of dem, dey licked their platter clean," Nanny Dove recited.
"What has that got to do with Freddy Simpson?"
"Is youse be slow, Willam? Jack Sprat were a skinny little feller and 'is wife were a huge cow."
"Nanny Dove," Matty barked. "That's not nice."
"Its bes true ain't it?"
"Yes, but ..."
Matty sipped her coffee.
"Its still not nice."
Bill was getting confused.
"What does that have to do with the fact that I have no idea what Freddy and Gertrude look like?"
Matty started laughing, still looking at her grandmother.
"They do kinds look like the number 10 when they walk together. Freddy is like a stick and Gertrude is like beachball."
"A big fuckin' beachball," Nanny Dove agreed, laughing.
"Are you two losing it?" Bill wondered.
"And we see them all the time when they drive past us," Matty continued.
"How? That truck is so fucking high I get a kink in my neck looking up and the windows are tinted so dark that you can't see inside."
Bill headed to the kitchen.
"I tell you, I have never seen either of them up close."
He returned with a coffee.
"I have no idea what they look like."
Matty held out her cup.
"Get me another coffee, my darling."
Bill passed his cup to her.
"Couldn't you have asked before I went in the kitchen or while I was in the kitchen?"
"I didn't need one then," she smiled.
"Love you."
Bill went back to the kitchen, talking as he did, "Anyway. What were you saying about Freddy Simpson?"
He walked back into the living room, holding out the coffee mug to Matty.
She held up Bill's coffee mug.
"I have one hun."
She took a sip.
"Anyway. Freddy was telling me that he and Gertrude were at the wharf last night spearing fish and they saw a man and woman walking on the beach."
"Spearing fish?"
Matty nodded.
"Yea. Freddy and Gertrude like picking up a dozen beer and going to the wharf and spearing fish."
"With a speargun?"
"No me son, wits bayonets on dere rifles," Nanny Dove laughed.
Bill gave her a strange look.
"Nanny, you know they stopped doing that last year when Freddy accidentally shot himself in the foot," Matty reminded her.
Nanny Dove nodded.
"Dats be right. Freddy bes a bit of a fuckin' klutz, dat one."
"Is that even legal?" Bill asked anyone who would listen.
Matty shrugged.
"Probably not, but whose gonna stop them?"
"I guess you got a point, there," Bill laughed.
"Anyway, Freddy told me that when they approached the two they quickly got back in their car and drove away. He thinks they were hiding something."
"Were Freddy and Gertrude still holding their spearguns?"
Matty thought for a moment.
"Huh. That could have been the reason they jumped in their car and drove away."
Bill took a deep breath.
"If we want to attract tourists, I don't think we should allow an intoxicated Freddy and Gertrude walking around the bay with weapons."
"Yes, me son," Nanny Dove seemed to agree.
"And ifin ise bes youse, Ise wouldn't be lettin' dem two walks around drunk wit spearguns in dere 'ands either."
In the distance, Bill thought he heard Jarge laughing. He was about to remind Nanny Dove that he had basically just said the same thing, but he decided it would be senseless.
"So did Freddy say where these two strangers are now?"
"Yea. He said that Henry told Clayton that they had booked a room in the motel."
"And he overheard Henry say this?"
Matty shook her head.
"No Harry told him that."
Bill didn't press any further. He was getting more confused by the second.
"So these strangers are still in town?"
"I guess so," Matty laughed.
"Unless they got up at the crack of dawn and fucked off out of here as fast as they could."
She finished her coffee and passed her mug to Bill.
Bill took it and walked back into the kitchen.
"I wonder why these people are in town?"
When he returned to the living room Matty glared at him.
"What?"
"Where is my coffee?"
"You didn't ask for one."
"I gave you my mug," Matty reminded him.
"I'm not a mindreader, hun."
Bill turned back to the kitchen, muttering under his breath.
"What was that hun?"
"Just saying I love you," Bill lied.
"Asshole," Matty snapped.
"I love you too."
Bill walked back in the living room with two coffee.
"Maybe I will check these people out later."
He saw that Matty was holding a drink.
"I thought you wanted a coffee?"
"Changed my mind," she smiled.
Bill looked at the two mugs and then at Nanny Dove.
She shook her head.
"Toos late in da mornin' fer me to 'ave a coffee, me son. Keeps me up all nite. And makes me piss like a race'orse."
The two women started laughing, as Bill walked back into the kitchen, muttering.