A/N: Thirty Seconds to Mars- bright lights (either to the side or top)
Claire:
'Jace!' I never knew that I could make such a tragic and desperate sounding scream as I raced over to his fallen body. My choked out sobs mixed with his strangled breathing as I gingerly placed his head on my lap.
'Let me--let me go get help.' I begged as he cupped both my hands in his. He only smiled and wiped at the heavy stream of tears falling down my face.
'Shhh, Clairissa. It'll be okay.' He whispered. I couldn't stop the hot tears coming down my face as my breathing started to shorten from the sheer panic I was in.
'Hey, do you remember the first thing I said to you?" He questioned, trying his best to hide the pain from his badly bruised and stabbed body. I hiccuped and nodded my head as I moved some of the hair out of his face.
'Ya. You said that your hair matched my eyes, and that meant that I should definitely say yes to going on a date with you.' I replied, not helping the small smile grow on my face as my tears slowly started to subside.
He let out a short and strained chuckle. 'Yup and you told me that I was a werido and it took me like five other tries till you finally said yes.'
His face turned more serious, almost like he was afraid that he wouldn't get a message clearly across to me.
'Clairissa Hope McCall, I love you. I know you don't believe in love at first sight, but I knew it the moment I first saw you. And I need you too do something for me. Can you do that?' He asked, his voice becoming more hoarse and strained.
I let out a low whimper and shook my head up and down feverishly. 'Be happy Clairissa. Find someone who will love you as much as I do, because that's what you deserve. I want you to remember that I'll always be happy as long as you are.'
I couldn't help it anymore, it felt like my whole chest was caving in on me. It felt like everything was crumbling into a million tiny pieces--and I couldn't do anything about it.
My head fell down to his chest and I felt him press his lips to my head. 'No one will ever love me as much as you do, Jace. What am I suppose to do?'
He gently lifted my head up, and I could tell it was causing him alot of effort to hold on this long. But I knew he didn't want to leave me alone, despite the strong demeanor on his face, I knew he was as scared as I was.
'Trust me, some guy will be lucky enough to fall in love with you.' He smiled weekly. 'You won't even realize it when you fall too, but he will. And he'll unknowingly smile because he sees it on your face'
The warm smile stayed on his face while the grip on my hands slowly started to weaken. Until they fell lip on his chest. It felt so horrible and no matter how many sharp shallow breaths I took, the pain just didn't ease away.
'Jace! Jace, please don't leave me!" I cried out, trying to desperately apply more pressure to the biggest of his wounds. But it was no use. I saw the light leave his once bright eyes till there was nothing left.
Till I was left alone.
I jolt up, breathing heavily in hopes of calming myself down. The door to my room is thrown open showing my mom with a baseball bat in hand.
She glances around the room, and noticing my disgruntled appearance, rushes over to me.
"Claire, what happened? I heard a yell and something break. I thought someone was trying to break into your room." She tells me, watching as I push my matted and sweaty hair out of my face.
I dreamt that horrible night again. I finally got a few hours of sleep only to have the horrible night of Jace's death haunt me.
"Yeah, I just had a nightmare that's all." I try to reassure with a smile. She frowns, not believing me at all.
I wipe at the moistness on my cheeks and lay back down. The bright warm glow of the late morning sun isn't enough to make me feel less depressed.
This is getting way too out of hand now. I thought that having atleast Scott, Stiles, and my mom not hate me would be enough.
But apparently the universe wants me to do more, even if I just want to stay at home and eat pop-tarts the whole day. Not to mention that I have to find a way to tell my mom that I'm moving out.
A door opens and I look up to see my mother over at my closet. I bring the comforter up to my chin as I shift my back to her.
"Come on. Get up, I'm taking you to go see Jace today." She speaks up as I hear her shift through my clothes.
My heart pumps rapidly through my chest, leaving me to think that even though my mom doesn't have super werewolf hearing, she can probably hear it anyway.
"I had everything moved to today, so the flowers are already here and I have the day off." She continues...before so rudely pulling the blankets off of me.
I curl up, groaning in complaint to hide the real fear and sadness trying to make its way to the surface.
Knowing that I won't get my blankets any time soon, I sit up in my bed again. "I'm--I'm not strong enough mom. I wasn't the day it happened and I'm definitely not today. So I'm downright terrified to go anywhere near his grave." I confess, looking down at my pj clad legs.
"All you need is twenty seconds of insane courage and I promise you something great will come of it." She quotes in an overly excited tone.
I peer up from my lap to see the strongly determined look on her face to get me up.
"We Bought A Zoo?" I ask, a smile slowly creeping its way onto my face.
"We Bought A Zoo." She nods, grinning.
I have a feeling that it's 40 percent because she got me to smile, but 60 percent because she got to use a really good quote from a movie she forced Scott and I to watch like twenty times already.
But between Scott and I, we both secretly enjoy it.
▪▪
Jace Wayland
Beloved son, brother, friend, loved one
and lover of hair dye.
I smile softly, remembering all the different shades of hair color he went through. "You know, I almost had a heart attack when I met him for the first time and his hair was colored that bright red."
My mom gets up from putting the flower arrangement under his tombstone and gives me a reassuring smile. It took her a good twenty minutes to get me out of the car once we finished our drive here. And then she still ended up having to drag me out.
"I'll be waiting by the car when you're ready." She says softly, before leaving me to say goodbye.
I sigh, not believing that it's already been three years. "I really messed up, Jace. Even more then that one time I accidentally put soy sauce instead of vanilla into the cake batter."
A sad knot twists in my stomach despite knowing that I should be happy that I have so many good memories with him. That I should try my best to do what he told me to do, be happy.
The leaves rustle from besides me and I look over, expecting to see me mom. "Uh--hi?" I end up asking with a confused look on my face.
Derek nods in response, not bothering to explain what he's doing here, before looking down at the tombstone. "So is today the day he...?" He trails off, uncertain if saying it out loud will upset me.
"No. I always come earlier to avoid when his family stops by to visit him." I explain. We stand in silence for a few minutes, the soft sounds of the wind filling in the empty space.
"Does it get easier?" I ask, taking my eyes off the ground to look over at him. He looks confused for a little bit, but then it slowly starts to dawn on him what I'm asking.
"Did you see it." He stiffly asks, referring to my seer sight. I slowly shake my head from side to side, trying my best to keep a firm grip on my tears.
I smile sadly at him. "No. Its the way you look at me whenever I talk about Jace. You don't look at me with pity, or even sadness, but with understanding." I quietly explain.
He lets out a tired sigh, briefly closing his eyes before opening them up again. "No. And that's what people always get wrong, they say it'll get easier but it never really does. You just learn to live with it."
I suck in a sharp breath, hugging myself tightly. Afraid that if I let go, I'll start to cry and I won't be able to stop.
And I don't want that anymore. I want to be strong not just for my friends or family, or even for Jace. I want to be stronger for myself.
The leaves shift again and I look up in time to see Derek start to walk away. Come on Claire, just twenty seconds of courage and I promise you something great will happen.
I nervously bite the inside of my cheek and take a step forward.
"Derek wait!" I call out, making him stop a few feet away. He turns around, and I feel my twenty seconds quickly slipping away as my oddly colored eyes meet his soft green ones.
Quick, think of something to say.
"I uh...like your beard." I say, but it comes out sounding not only dumb, but also like a question. The ends of his lips quirk up as he stands with his arms crossed across his chest.
"You like my beard?" He questions, finding amusement in my slip up.
I face palm, feeling my face heat up like a dang furnace in the middle of a volcano during a summer in the hottest place you can possibly think of, so basically the sun.
"Well that was a waste of twenty seconds of courage." I mumble, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
Pressing my lips super tightly together, I scrape up another measly twenty seconds of courage and take a step towards him.
And then another one and another one until I'm finally next to Derek. "For the record this is all your fault." I proclaim out loud. He chuckles lightly and we start walking back towards the parking lots.
"You're the one who decided to compliment my facial hair during your twenty seconds of courage." He responds.
"Ya well, you're just too good looking." I accidentally say out loud, physically flinching right afterwards. "Just ignore that and then maybe your ego won't get as big as your uncle's."
I look up at him to see him smiling softly down at me. 'And he'll unknowingly smile because he sees it on your face.'
"Your staring." Derek points out, making his face come back into focus. To show that I was indeed staring.
"Sorry I was just uh, thinking." I say, ducking my head down to look at my shoes. "Just thinking about how tired and equally hungry I am." I joke, half seriously.
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A/N: *Confetti cannons blast alongside the marching band* Another season in the bag, you guys!!!!
THANK YOU all soooooo extremely freakin much for all the support you've given this book. And trust me when I say I'm sorry that I won't be able to write anything else till whenever I get back from my trip.
Because honestly you guys deserve having this updated a lot more frequently then I did.
Trust that I have a lot planned out for Claire and Derek for the season. Since I don't like just automatically putting my characters together I have some things planned for the summer before 3a.
You guys are awesome and I really appreciate all the reads votes and comments. See you all in 2015!!
P.S. Jace Wayland is in no way associated to the Jace in TMI. Sorry if that's what you were hoping for but I thought I'd just make a joke of the fact that I choose the names of two of the characters from the book series without noticing until someone pointed it out.
~Shazam