Chapter 4: NEED YOU
I woke up with a severe headache dahil sa pinaghalong puyat and hang-over. But despite of not feeling well, I still forced myself to get up. If wala lang sana akong pasok ngayon ay baka nagdesisyon nalang akong matulog nang buong araw.
Kasalanan lahat ito ng lalaking iyon dahil kahit na anong palit ko ng puwesto kagabi at pilit ko sa sarili ay hindi pa rin ako makatulog because I could still feel the strange flow of electricity in my body. I feel like nasa loob ko pa din at humahagod ang middle finger niya. Damn.
I almost screamed earlier after I looked in the mirror when I saw myself because I thought there was a ghost inside my room. I couldn't accept the deep and dark circles under my eyes. And earlier while I was under the shower and soaping my body, there were various of erotic scenes that entered my mind that I'm doing things with Dominic. Tumagal pa nga ng ilang minutes ang pag-so-soap ko, lalo na kay Maw! Mabuti na lang at nasa tamang pag-iisip pa din ako kahit papaano at napigilan ko ang self ko sa maari ko pang gawin!
Never in my wildest dreams na maiisip kong gawin ko iyon sa sarili ko. Pero nang dahil sa lalaking iyon ay muntik na! What did he fucking do to me? Oh, my god!
“Anak, ano ba ‘yang ginagawa mo sa pagkain mo?”
I blinked for a couple of times when I heard Mana Senya's voice. I slowly looked up to her. Mana Senya's hair is a mixture of gray and black, and wrinkles are starting to appear on her face because of aging. But despite of the line on her face, her gentle eyes made her look sweet and caring. Whenever Bàba is not in the mansion ay sumasabay sa akin sina Mana Senya at ang kaniyang nakababatang kapatid na kumain because she knew that feel sad to eat when I'm alone. I glanced at my plate and that's when I found out na gutay-gutay na pala ang waffles sa plate ko.
“S-sorry po, natulala po kasi ako,” I softly muttered at ipinagpatuloy na lang ang pagkain sa nasira kong waffles.
“Ano bang nangyayari sa‘yong bata ka?” Mana Senya took a deep breath and stopped from eating. “Noong isang araw ay umuwi ka ditong iba ang suot na damit, tapos kagabi naman ay umuwi ka ng lasing at parang wala sa sarili. Halos hindi ka na nga makapaglakad nang maayos.” Gumuhit ang pag-aalala sa mukha ni Mana Senya kaya I immediately lowered my head. I can't look at her when she's like that because I feel guilty for what I did every time she worries just because of me.
“Ano ka ba, Ate, gan'yan na talaga ang mga kabataan ngayon. Dapat ay masanay ka na dahil sigurado akong uulit-ulitin niya pa ‘yan,” rinig kong saad ni Ate Susan, ang bunsong kapatid ni Mana. She has already graduated with the help of Bàba from High School to College. And in fact, she can just leave here and find a better job if she wants to, but she still chose to stay here with us like Mana Senya.
“Nag-aalala lang naman ako dito kay Mia. Baka sa susunod ay may kung ano nang mangyari sa kanya. Delikado na ang panahon ngayon. Hindi ba kayo nababahala?” Mana asked with her brows furrowed.
“Okay lang naman po ako, Mana, you don't have to worry about me. You know naman na I can handle myself well. Ako pa ba?” I playfully wiggled my brows.
“Kaya nga naman, Ate,” Ate Susan agreed and giggled at me. "Big girl na kaya ang Prinsesa natin!”
I jokingly made a face that made her laugh. Ate Susan often calls me Princess or ‘Prinsesa' to tease me.
“Kayo talagang dalawa,” napa-iling si Manang Senya sa amin at nangiti na. “Basta, Samia, mag-iingat ka palagi. At kung magka-problema ka ‘man ay huwag kang magdadalawang isip na magsabi sa akin, ha. Alam mo namang parang anak na din kita.”
I smiled and just nodded. That's true. And I also treat Mana Senya like my mother. Mas madalas ko pa din kasi siyang kasama kaysa kay Bàba. She always take care of me whenever I am sick and the one who attends for me whenever there's a parents and teachers meeting at school . At first I was still sad at that thought because most of my classmates ay dalawang magulang pa nila ang pumupunta sa meeting habang maid lang ang dumadalo para sa akin.
As a child, a lot of questions went through my mind. I even asked myself kung nasa akin ba ang problema. But as time went by, I got used to it and I gradually accepted that not all children are blessed to have a complete family. And I also know that no matter what I do and how hard I cry, nothing will change. We can no longer be a complete family. Bàba will not come home from his business meeting, and even more Mama will not get up from the pit and come back to life just to attend a stupid meeting for me.
Nagpatuloy lang ako sa pagkain at pagkatapos ay nagpahatid na ako kay Manong Jude papasok sa University. I don't know if I'm really that beautiful or people just really have nothing else to do but to watch me walk. It's just annoying to be famous sometimes because I feel like I'm losing my privacy because even inside the restroom may nahuhuli pa rin akong nakatingin sa akin.
When I entered the room, I was immediately greeted by the plastic slash fake friends of mine who even beat the ones made in china. Pinakitaan ko agad sila ng matamis na ngiti at nakipag-beso just to show off. Mga insecure kasi sila sa ganda ko.
“Hey, Mia, how are you!? I missed you so much!” Carina excitedly said while smiling ear to ear as if we hadn't seen each other for a year even though it's just a week because she went to France to celebrate her cousin's birthday. I saw the corner of her lips twiched evilly when she saw my face clearly. “What happened to your face? Puyat ka ba?”
“Yeah. Your face is...” Sasha pointed at me and made a disgust face.
Yes, the dark circles under my eyes is still visible but I have no plans to hide it because I love myself so much that I will not be ashamed of what I am. Of course, it's a joke, I tried to hide it with a concealer earlier but it did not successfully work. I still look tired and sleepless, but that's okay 'cause I'm always beautiful no matter what.
“I'm fine. Nag-bar kasi ako kagabi and forgot na may klase pala ngayon, " I answered as I sat down on my usual seat. “Kayo ba?” Sana hindi.
“Okay lang din naman ako. I was able to tour around France and buy branded bags and clothes like Louis Quatorze, Bleu de Chauffe, Chanel and Lacroix. And…” Carina stopped and her lips slowly formed a smirk na parang nagmamalaki sa amin. “And I just dumped Robi last night!”
“Really? But you just started dating last week, am I right?” Sasha asked like she could not believe at what she just heard na ikinatawa ng assumera.
Ang akala siguro ni Carina ay nahigitan niya ako dahil I dated Rob for 2 two and half weeks. She didn't know that I just dated Robi because Bàba had a business deal with their family and Bàba said that I should be good to the Manzanilla's only son, which is Robi. That's why when Robi asked me to date him, as a good and beautiful daughter to her father, I agreed. But I was turned off because we just started dating for a week and he wanted us to get serious immediately. And that's not it, I turned him down because he told me to stop wearing the clothes I normally wear because he said that they're too revealing and sexy. I mean, who you bruh? I'm not fucking yours!
I didn't know na mataas pala pride niya at ayaw mapahiya kaya ng tanungin siya ng mga kakilala namin kung bakit hindi na kami nag-di-date ay sinabi niyang hindi daw niya ako type. That I was the one who insisted on dating him! I never even liked him, even just for a second! Ang kapal lang ng face niya!
“Yes! Alam niyo naman ako, girls, I don't settle for the one who doesn't deserve me.” Carina flipped her hair and gave us a lopsided grin. “Hindi gaya ng iba diyan na kahit may ka-relasyon na, nilalandi pa.”
“Hmm. Sa bagay, madami na kasing naka-relasyon si Robi. He even calls himself a playboy!” Sasha said chuckling.
I glanced at Carina and I arched a brow when I caught her looking sharply at me. She faked a smile and averted her eyes away from me. For all I know, Asar lang siya sa akin because her boyfriend who got her virginity broke up with her just to court me. It's not my fault that I'm so beautiful that I can ruin a relationship without even trying. At asa naman itong si Kerwin na magkakaroon siya ng pag-asa sa akin just because he broke up with Carina. Tanga niya lang. Hindi ako pumapatol sa bad breath, ‘no! Ang eww kaya!
I suddenly remembered the night when Carina cried a lot because of him. Carina is half Italian so it's normal that she has the typical Italian features like the relatively large forehead, voluminous lips, a pair of upturned brown eyes. And seriously, she's beautiful that's why I couldn't understand Kerwin how he was able to fool Carina. At kung bakit hindi na lang mag-move on si Carina and look for a man who's more worthy of her love and a man who will not leave her even if he sees someone who's better than her.
I took a deep breath. Mabuti na lang I don't need to spend a long time para makipag-plastikan sa ‘friends' ko dahil dumating na din agad ang aming Professor pagkalipas lang ng ilang minuto. I was evilly laughing inside my mind because they were obviously copying my answer sa pa-surprise quiz ni Professor Garcia sa amin kanina. Ang kapal ng face nilang plastikin ako tapos wala naman pala silang masagot!
I don't even know why I am staying with them kahit na alam kong fake na sila sa akin. Simula nang maka-graduate sina Sydney at Aisha ay sila na ang laging nakakasama ko. Siguro wala akong choice. Pero siguro natutuwa din ako sa kanila. Or maybe I was challenge kung hanggang saan ang kaya ng pasensya ko at kung hanggang saan ko kayang makipag-plastikan. It's also good to laugh at the two especially because they're often weird and stupid. Nalilibang nila akong dalawa kaya siguro hindi na din masamang makasama ko sila kahit na nakakainis sila palagi.
It was lunch time and I was walking towards the cafeteria when someone blocked my way.
“Hey, babe,” Jackson said as his eyes traveled down around my body like I am standing naked in front of him.
I rolled my eyes at him. "What?"
He smirked. "I miss kissing you, Babe."
My nose crinkled. Jackson was one of my flings. I can say that he's a good kisser, not as good as Dominic but at least good. Pasok na sana siya sa criteria ni Maw kaso I heard rumors na hindi daw siya gifted from his past bedmates kaya ekis na siya sa listahan.
I have been avoiding him for a few weeks but until now he's still working on a way to get my attention back. I don't know why he doesn't get the message that I am no longer interested at him.
“Sorry, I don't.”
I was about to continue walking when he blocked my way again.
“What the? Get out of way, Jackson,” kunot-noong saad ko ngunit lalo lang siyang ngumisi sa akin na siyang ikinainis ko. He's really starting to piss me off!
He pulled me closer to him by my waist. Agad akong napahawak sa balikat niya upang mapigilan ang sobrang paglapit ng katawan ko mula sa kanya.
“Playing hard to get, hmm?” mahinang saad niya dahilan para nakaramdam ako ng kilabot sa katawan.
Pakiramdam ko ay umakyat ang dugo ko sa ulo nang marinig na magbulungan ang mga tao sa paligid namin. Famous din kasi si gago. At balak pa ata niyang gumawa nang eksena dahil unti-unti niyang inilapit ang mukha niya sa akin.
I was about to yell and push Jackson away from me ng may mahagip ang mga mata kong pamilyar na mga mata at madilim na mukha hindi kalayuan sa puwesto ko. Biglang bumilis ang tahip ng puso ko. I gasp and forcefully pushed Jackson away from me while looking at his grim face.
“Dominic...” I whispered, almost out of breath.
“Dominic? Who's that!?” Jackson rasped while tightly gripping my waist.
"Ano ba? Bitawan mo nga ako!" I shuddered as I tried to remove his hand from my waist. I feel like his nails are digging into my skin even with a cloth in between. "Nasasaktan na ako!"
“Bitawan mo siya," I loudly gasped when I heard a cold familliar voice. Nanlalaki ang mga mata ko ng hawakan niya ang isang braso ni Jackson na nakahawak sa akin.
Paano niya nagawang lumapit sa puwesto namin without me even noticing it? Seriously, kamag-anak ba niya si Flash?
“Sino ka naman?” Jackson asked and glared at Dominic.
Bilib din ako sa yabang nang isang 'to dahil halata namang wala siyang laban kay Dominic dahil higit na mas matangkad at mas malaki ang katawan nito kaysa sa kanya pero may lakas pa din siya ng loob samaan ito ng tingin.
“Let go, she's already hurting,” Dominic said using his spine-chilling tone and his expression darkened while looking at my waist being held by Jackson.
“Umalis ka na nga lang dito, I am talking to my girlfriend!”
I saw how Dominic's face darkened even more. I felt nervous as his eyes turned to me. The looks of his menacing face weakens my knees and I feel like there's a big lump inside my throat. Inis na bumaling na lang ako kay Jackson upang makaiwas sa tingin niya.
“I am not your girlfriend, asshole! Kalalaki mong tao napaka-assuming mo!”
Agad na namula ang buong mukha ni Jackson dahil siguro sa pagkapahiya sa sinabi ko. I felt his grip on my waist loosen up kaya mabilis na umatras ako palayo sa kanya. Rinig na rinig ko ang bulungan ng mga tao sa paligid namin. Great! We just made a fucking scene, and all thanks to Jackson, the assuming asshole!
“Hey, people, the show is over! Makapasa at maka-graduate sana kayong lahat!” I sarcastically yelled at the audiences near us.
I heard Dominic ‘tsk-ed’ before he took my hand and pulled me away from that place. My cheeks warmed as his skin touches mine. Even though I was hurt by the way he's pulling me, I couldn't help but to smile. He's here!
"W-what are you doing here?" tanong ko habang patuloy pa din kami sa paglalakad.
May ibang napapalingon sa aming gawi na nakakakilala sa akin but I don't care. Wala akong pakialam sa kanila. Ngunit hindi ko maiwasang mainis kapag may nakakasalubong kaming mga babaeng bigla na lang napapahinto sa paglalakad at walang habas na tumititig kay Dominic!
But I can't blame them ‘cause he is so damn attractive. Sa tingin ko ay lalo pang nakadagdag ang seryuso niyang mukha sa appeal niya. Nakakainis! I don't know where it came from but I have this feeling that I want him only all by myself.
“Where are we going?” muling tanong ko ngunit wala ulit akong natanggap na sagot mula sa kanya as if he never heard me asked.
I just shook my head and let him pull me. We stopped under a large mango tree kung saan walang masyadong tao at kung saan malapit ang high school building.
He let go of my hand and walked three steps away from me. Nanatili kaming nakatayo lang doon habang siya ay nakatalikod sa akin sa loob nang ilang minuto. And that's the longest minutes of my life! Nangangati na akong kausapin siya!
"Are we just going to stand here?" I asked when I can no longer take the silence between us.
I heard him cursed silently. He messed up his hair and took a deep breath before he turned around and face me. Napa-lip bite ako habang nakatingin sa mukha niyang seryuso at sa magulong niyang buhok. Bakit ba sobrang hot niya?
“Estudyante ka?” He was not asking a question. He seemed to be saying that more to himself as he looked at my right chest where the university logo was placed.
Nakaramdam ako ng kaunting inis ng mahimigan ang disappointment sa boses niya. He turned his back on me again and put his hands on his waist.
“Ano naman kung estudyante ako?” I asked in an irritated voice. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay minamaliit niya ako dahil estudyante pa lang ako. “Kung makapagsalita ka ay parang wala kang ginawang kung ano sa akin kagabi!”
“It's not like you didn't enjoy—”
“I enjoyed it. Every single moment of it, Dominic. I really like the way how you touched me and how your middle finger fucked me. I enjoyed it, very much,” I said with my low seductive voice as I slowly bit my lower lip because of the tingling sensation between my legs.
Parang naaakit ako sa sarili kong pain. Ang nangyari nang gabing iyon ay biglang bumalik sa aking isipan na parang kanina lang nangyari. My chest rose and fell with heavy rapid breaths.
He darkly looked back at me. Napaatras pa ako sa gulat sa kanya. Nakita niya siguro ang takot na dumaan sa mga mata ko at biglang nawala ang sama ng tingin niya at napalitan ng kakaibang emosyon.
“Stop,” he muttered with his deep and controlled voice. His expression is very difficult to read right now.
My lips quivered as I looked into his eyes. I thought his eyes were pure black pero dark gray pala ang totoong kulay nito sa liwanag.
Huminga siya ng malalim at tila naninimbang na tumingin sa akin. “I need you...”