Episode 4:
IT WILL PASS BY
May 7th, 1997
THE THOUGHT THAT he was living a hellish kind of life never escaped Min Yoongi's mind once. From the dark half-circles that lay under his eyes, his pale complexion, and lethargic behaviour—one could tell right away that the third year medical student was in extreme need of rest. Weeks had gone by in stillness since that day at the basketball court; as time progressed, the midterm exams drew closer and the weather in the city became more and more sultry.
As usual, Min Yoongi had spent another one of those days in the study room. In there, he would find himself studying intensely until he lost track of time and his ass hurt from sitting on the same spot all day. The twenty two year old pushed his chair back and began to stretch his neck and limbs; he then released a sigh of relief afterwards. Yoongi took a quick glance at the clock sitting on the wall across him; he struggled to decipher the time as his surroundings were dim. After what seemed like an eternity, he was finally able to read it—it was 9:49 PM. He hadn't realized it was already so late. A slight feeling of anxiety flooded the male before he finally began to pack his study utensils and placed them inside his duffel bag as quietly as he could to not disturb the other students. He walked in between rows of study desks occupied by high schoolers and other adults. By the time Yoongi escaped the room, the person on the front desk bid him goodbye and then he left the building.
Since the boarding house was near the university, as well as the study room, it didn't take a long time for Yoongi to arrive home. After a seven-minute bus ride, the male crossed the street, took a right turn and found himself following an old trail where it eventually led him in front of the Yoon household. As Yoongi pushed open the boarding house gate and entered the front yard, the scent of smoke and grilled meat immediately filled his nose. He could hear the distinct voices of the tenants, especially Pureom and Jimin on the rooftop deck. Ever since the female's coming out, the tenants had gotten a little closer to each other; they were often seen hanging out and having a drinking party together. Due to his jam-packed schedule, Yoongi usually didn't have enough time to join them.
Yoongi entered the house through the front door and caught sight of the married couple watching Yoo Jae Suk's variety show on TV. Mrs. Yoon was sitting on the couch with her spouse's head on her lap; they looked peaceful. He politely greeted them before passing by from behind.
"Oh, Yoongi-ah," Mrs. Yoon suddenly called while playing with her husband's hair. "The boys are on the top drinking with Pureom and Seora, by the way. You should go join them."
"Yes, Auntie. I'll go wash up first," replied Yoongi. Before he could reach the staircase, he heard the landlady call his name once again. "What is it?" He asked.
"Your mother called me just a few hours ago."
"What?"
"She said you weren't answering so she called me instead. We talked on the phone."
Yoongi's expression sank. It was obvious on his face and in his tone of voice that the topic of his mother was something he didn't expect to be brought up. It left a strange and wretched feeling in his stomach. Yoongi despised it. "What...did you talk about, Auntie?"
"She didn't sound okay."
"Huh?"
Mrs. Yoon cleared her throat before resuming. "I asked her what's wrong so many times but she kept avoiding the question and asked where you were instead."
"Oh," expressed Yoongi flatly, dumbfounded. "And what did you say to her?"
"Well," said the landlady, "I told her that you were at school, of course. And I said that I would tell you to call her back when you got home. She really sounded like she was in trouble, Yoongi. You should contact her as soon as possible."
The male nodded and made his way to his bedroom. The twenty two year old noticed the quick thumping of his chest and the chills all over his body as he climbed up the stairs. It has been a long time since he last heard from his family. Unlike the other tenants who always made weekly phone calls to their families in the countryside, Yoongi lived his life alone and silently. No one really had an idea what kind of life he lived before he moved into the boarding house. Some days, the tenants would wonder what kind of person Yoongi was behind that usual mature and well reserved demeanour of his but none of them really mastered the courage to ask him in person.
The stroll down the hallway into his bedroom was a silent one; in his silence, Yoongi could sense his apprehension. The dark haired male quickly walked towards his desk where the red telephone sat. Instead of picking it up and dialling his home phone number, Min Yoongi stared at it for a moment. A feeling of dread suddenly took over him, making him weak and unable to act. Thoughts and vivid memories resonated in his head as he stood frozen in the dim bedroom. Yoongi was definitely afraid—partly because he was worried of his mother's situation but mostly because he feared what to say once he heard her voice on the other line. If something bad truly happened to her—God forbid—he wouldn't know how to face it.
It took Yoongi almost years before he finally picked up the phone. His hand shook out of nervousness as he began to dial his mother's number from memory. It rang. Yoongi's breathing hitched and fastened. He could hear the loud pounding of his heart in his ear—deafening. Please don't pick up, please don't pick up, he screamed in his mind repeatedly but his heart pined for the opposite.
"Hello?" A voice on the other line picked up. Yoongi gulped. It wasn't his mother. "Who's this?"
A long pause, then, came a shaky exhale. Yoongi recognized exactly who it was. Just when he was about to speak, the door creaked open behind him and he heard the sound of footsteps entering the room. He turned. It was Kim Taehyung.
"Um, hello?" The figure on the phone spoke again; he was impatient and confused. "If this is a prank, I'm ending the call right now—you're wasting my time."
"I-I'm sorry," Yoongi answered discreetly. "It's me, Hyung. Min Yoongi."
"Yoongi?"
There was a moment of silence between the two brothers. As the seconds ticked by, Taehyung—who had come rushing to greet his roommate after noticing his arrival earlier from the rooftop—stood awkwardly by the door, waiting. Hearing how serious Yoongi sounded when he entered, the nineteen year old wondered if he should flee the bedroom. Yoongi turned again to him with that same stoic expression but this time, Taehyung somehow understood what that look on his face meant. The dark-haired male stepped out immediately and shut the door close. He leant against the door and closed his eyes for a moment. The whole world fell silent in an instant—even the television playing downstairs and the faint voices of the married couple was inaudible. Kim Taehyung had no clue what exactly was going on but he knew—he had a feeling—that something bad was going to happen in any second.
"So you're still alive, Yoongi-ah!" Yeong-su said shortly after; his voice shook a little out of exhilaration. "Why didn't you ever try to call me after you left? I was waiting, you know. Are you doing well in Seoul? How about school? You're studying and eating properly, right?"
"I'm doing fine," uttered the male bluntly. "There's something I need to talk about with you."
"W-what?" The brother replied, a bit stunned by the sudden sternness in his little brother's voice. "What is it?"
"The landlady at my boarding house said Mom called earlier. They spoke on the phone and she said she didn't sound okay. What happened?"
"Oh my god, she called?" Yeong-su repeated to himself, like he couldn't believe what he had just heard. "I told her not to do that. Ugh, that woman."
Yoongi raised his brows. "Where is she right now? Is she hurt or something?"
"Oh, no, Yoongi. Mom's okay."
"You're lying," said the younger male as quick as lightning.
Yeong-su shook his head on the other line. "No, for real. She really is okay, Yoongi. Nothing bad happened to her. She's not home right now but I promise you, she's alright. It's...um...it's Dad who's in trouble."
Yoongi paused, dazed at the revelation. Then after a while, with a grave tone of voice, he spoke: "What about him?"
"I know you hate it when Dad's name gets mentioned," responded Yeong-su with hesitance. "That's why I told Mom not to say anything about it to you but then it turns out th—"
"Just say it, Hyung. Start from the top, without any excuses."
An uncomfortable feeling rose in Yeong-su's stomach once again at the sound of his twenty two year old brother's forthright speaking. As the older male felt compelled to answer, he took a deep breath and released a tensed sigh. "It's about Dad's addiction."
"You see, his addiction got really bad over the years—even worse when you left home. Even though Mom and I keep telling him to stop or at least control himself, he doesn't. He never tries." Yeong-su paused to organize himself and his thoughts; he wanted to sound as calm as he could. "He smokes a pack or two everyday, stays out late every other night drinking and then always cause a fuckin' scene at home. I really don't know what to do with him anymore. At this point, he's really just trying to kill himself."
"So what then?" Yoongi said after a moment of silence, his voice still cold and detached as ever. But his expression had wavered: his features, which were usually stern and unwelcoming, collapsed and softened a little. "Is he dead yet?"
Yeong-su shrugged. "I don't know. But if he keeps abusing himself like this, someday he will. Anyway, let me finish the story first."
Yoongi nodded.
"So earlier this afternoon, Gaeul—my wife—was getting ready for her job. As soon as she entered the bathroom, she found Dad inside. He was unconscious, and she saw blood on the sink and on his handkerchief...so she figured that he prolly coughed up blood. And then, yeah, we sent him to the hospital. That's what happened."
"Was it the first time he coughed up blood?"
"I don't think so," responded the twenty seven year old. "In fact, he's been coughing a lot in the past three months, so, to answer your question, it probably wasn't the first time. I'm one hundred percent sure that he's been dealing with it without our awareness."
"And what about Mom? Is he with him at the hospital right now?" Yoongi said.
Yeong-su told him that she was and he included that she went on her own. He explained that Gaeul couldn't accompany her to the hospital because of work and he couldn't as well because he had to watch Byeol at home. Yoongi didn't say anything more to that but he was relieved that he found out about what happened.
"In that case," he resumed, "I'll just call Mom tomorrow morning to check on her."
"You should," said his older brother. "Oh, and by the way Yoongi..."
"Yeah?"
"When are you coming home?"
Yeong-su took a moment to say that; he wasn't sure if it was the appropriate moment to ask. But he debated with himself that if he didn't say it now, then he'd never have a second chance to ask Yoongi in the future again.
"Someday," Yoongi replied after a long while of silence. He sounded hesitant. "Someday, I'll come home again. But you shouldn't wait, Hyung. You shouldn't."
As much as the older male wanted to disagree, he didn't, so he remained quiet. If he couldn't be the understanding older brother he could have been to Yoongi a few years ago, he wanted to be now—even if it was already too late.
hello im back after an eternity!!!
i took a long time to update again im so sorry,,
i kinna forgot how to write.
anyway, this will get very dark soon
so um yea ...
stay tuned < 3