We had walked around to particular doors that contain each girl, who would be at The Collection, along with me. William wouldn't stop asking questions about my life here at the school, I tried my best to keep out the parts where I planned for my escapes. I didn't give him too much information, it was personal for me. I needed to have something that only belonged to me, without anyone else knowing. But living in this school, that was almost impossible, I just have to keep this up for 6 more days and everything will go according to plan.
"What about you?" I said, now that I finally convinced him there was really nothing to talk about and that everyday was like a routine.
"Me?" He repeated, surprised at the sudden question.
"Yeah, I mean, you suddenly show up at this school when there's only 6 more days remaining for The Collection." I said. "How did you turn up here anyway, I doubt Miss Audrey would easily allow you to do that, I mean it's never happened before." He looked at me.
"Really?" He said. "Was that why you were afraid of me?"
I turn to look at him. "How did you . . ."
"Oh, nothing, it was just easy to notice." I knew he was trying to hide something, but what, is the question. I decided to drop it, it wouldn't be fair if I haven't told him some things but he did.
"Yeah, that was the reason." I said, sighing. "And you know what?" I said. William looked at me. "I never knew bumping against someone would give me a friend."
After calling the girls downstairs, they had already finished putting on makeup and dressing as soon as hearing William outside the rooms, waiting for me to come out. Some of the girls glared at me when seeing me walking with William. He had his hands in the jeans of his pockets, that somehow made him seem cooler than looking like the ideal man.
"What do you think the announcement is?" I said, trying to ignore the death looks shooting their way at me. I turned to look at William but he seemed distant. He might already know the announcement.
"Something bad." He said. He really did know about the announcement. Who told him? How did he know?
"How do you know that?"
William looked nervous, and his eyes seemed to be fixed on the ground. He seemed hesitant and looked as though he regretted opening his mouth in the first place. My eyes widened at the realisation.
He was working for Miss Audrey.
I knew she was suspicious about me but I wasn't aware that she would hire a man to seek personal answers out of me. My heart sank. She will do everything in her power to make me decide on being principal. I looked back at William hoping to answer my god damn question but he still looked as though he was exposed to the whole world naked. Of course he should feel like that. I thought William was different. I urge the betrayed feeling to back away, and I managed finally. I quickened my steps, so that William would notice I don't want him anywhere near me.
This friendship was over before it even begun.
I was downstairs before I even knew it. I was too absorbed in thinking. The girls came down, shocked that there were now more men downstairs than ever. On one part of the room sat 2 men, who were crowded by girls all trying to sit next to them. On the other stood 3 men who had a glass of wine in their hands chatting whilst looking at a girl who had wore tight clothes, showing her figure.
This seemed like a night club I've heard the news mention a couple of time. Miss Audrey is going way overboard. I heard someone press a teaspoon onto the glass a couple of times. "Girls, girls, calm down." Miss Audrey said. She looked at me and smiled. "You came down late, and I was too excited to contain it." She shrugged and turned to look at the girls who I had called down. I knew instantly she was drunk. "Girls? Ready for the announcement." The girls beamed with excitement and whispered to each other of the possibilities that are likely to be said.
William stood a meter or two away from me. He was crowded by girls but seemed uncomfortable. He glanced at me and I glared in return. He noticed and tried to head to my direction. But the more he tried to more girls crowded him, keeping him in position.
"As you know, there are only 6 days for The Collection?" She said, looking round. "Of course you know, you're obviously keeping track of that." She muttered under her breath. They laughed. Some men chuckled and shouted to get her off the table or she might break her neck falling off. "Well, I've been to meetings. This year has been like no other. I've been to approximately 23 meetings in 3 days. And you should know what that means." The girls were practically now jumping for more information. "There are more noblemen than ever attending The Collection this year, including the duke!"
Screams and shouts attacked the room, before Miss Audrey shouted at delight for repeating the announcement. This is bad. Really bad. Not the duke, anyone but the duke. Everything seems to be coming to an end for me today. Of course, that was only my opinion. I watched in worried eyes as the girls were screaming with delight. The men were covering their ears at the entertainment who were also filled with disappointment to hear that again.
William was watching me. He knew what I felt. He may report this to Miss Audrey about my feelings towards the announcement. She might find out my dream was fake and full of lies. All this would mean I would be charged. Exactly what she would want. I felt the watery moisture in my eyes.
I run upstairs and couldn't help the tears but escape viciously down my flushed cheeks. I knew no one would notice me, the men were too worried that they might become deaf and the girls won't even be aware of my disappearance in the room. But William. . . choked sounds escaped me. I've never felt this emotional. Today is the day I will be told that I have to wait another set of years for my freedom. I've tried so hard. And yet not hard enough. I slammed my bedroom door shut and cried carelessly on my bed.
Moments passed. I wake up, surprised I fell asleep and look up from my bed and see that 30 minutes already has passed. I turn my head towards the door, but I heard no more noises coming from downstairs. I try hard to get up and become successful. I felt empty, completely empty. My eyes were sore from crying. I really hated myself for trusting someone so easily. I let my guard down.
Just as I opened the door, I saw William leaning on the wall, hands in his pockets. He didn't notice me. He again looked distant, as if he was thinking hard about something. He looked like he has been waiting here ever since I ran upstairs. Maybe after he told Miss Audrey everything. Tears start to brawl again, I blink twice to fight them.
I rush past William to head into the bathroom. I saw him realise and catches up to me. "Hey," he said quietly. "Are you alright?" This stopped me on my tracks. I turned to look at him blankly.
"Don't. You. Dare." I threatened. "If you ever touch me again, talk to me or even look at me, I . . ." How do I say I will kill him without him reporting it to Miss Audrey? "I swear William, I am more than capable of being silent." He knew what I meant. I saw the confusion and concern in his amazing yet betray-full eyes.
"I-I don't understand." He whispered. "I thought we were frie-"
"Well you thought wrong!" I shouted, tears were already making their way down my neck. I nearly laughed at how stupid I sounded. I was the one who said we were friends. Yet here I was saying he was imagining things. I turn back to my path, heading towards the bathroom.
He reached for my elbow but I moved my arm away from him. Seems like he hasn't got my warning. I turn to him, quick enough to slap him across the face.
He was stone still and his eyes were wide in shock. With that taken care of, I head to the bathroom. From this day onwards, I will take care of myself, I will become a complete outcast, and will attract the least attention as possible. All this, to earn my freedom.
Other people might think this is stupid and intolerable. But they don't know what I've had to live through, they don't know how much I went through to let one boy waste all my years of planning and hiding, they don't know how much I tried to hide the real me.
Now it's time, I'm letting me out.
The next few days were the same as always. Breakfast at 7, last few lessons on being a house wife and of course our last GP visit. "Eden!" Sophie shouted across the long dinner table. I look at her and followed her shocked gaze to my hands. I had spilt the tea all over me. Yet I felt no pain. I've felt pain before, like emotional pain, but this felt different, yet much better.
My pale blue glimmering gown that Ann had to convince me to wear was now stained. I know that Sophie's worried expression was for the gown instead of the burnt skin underneath. Miss Audrey ran over and put a cloth on the stain. "What is wrong with you!" She said. "Look what you've done to yourself." She lifted my gown enough to show my bare legs underneath, now dripping with liquid.
"I'm okay." I said, reassuringly so that no one bothers to send me to the GP once again.
"No you're not! Come on, get up." Loa said, the nicest girl in the school. She always had a thing for family and friends. But still has the dream to be with a nobleman, more better, a duke. She would do whatever she needs to do to protect her loved ones. That is how a duchess should be. I wouldn't mind her becoming one, except for the fact that the duke might make use of her fragile skinny hands and beautiful posture and do nothing else, he would just use her. I got up and followed Loa, Miss Audrey was beside me, lifting my gown so it wouldn't touch the skin underneath.
"Just when The Collection is tomorrow, why now!" She complained. Of course she wouldn't care about me genuinely, it's just another job of hers to take care of us or she would get into trouble with the authorities if a nobleman finds me injured.
Loa sits down on a seat and gestures me to join her. I sit beside her and she puts a liquid medicine on my burns. "That way, it won't scar." She said proudly, silently thanking herself for studying the 'risks and injury' lessons.
"Thanks, Loa but I'm really fine." I said. She looks at me out of pity. I look away. I don't need her pity. Though I'm quite thankful for her being worried about me and not the gown.
"A nobleman would divorce you once they find that their wife has a big nasty scar on her supposedly long, skinny, beautiful legs." She said, sounding matter-of-factly. Miss Audrey stood from her position and head out the room. I stared after her. Absorbed in something I never thought about. Miss Audrey also had feelings and emotions. It definitely looked like she was depressed.
Loa joined the rest of the girls once again who were now beside the window, probably watching some guards being punished by doing press ups. I went heading back to my room, when I noticed strange noises. It was coming from Miss Audrey's office.
I head to that direction and see that Miss Audrey had her head buried in her arms, crying loudly.
"Ma'am?" I said, unsure of what to do, but to stand behind the borders into her office. Miss Audrey looked up and saw me. She wiped her tears with her sleeves and faked a smile. "Is everything alright?" I said.
"Oh, Eden. Why are you here, dear." The atmosphere was weird.
"I heard. . ." I didn't know what to say, this was really awkward. Miss Audrey seemed to understand. She nodded and looked away.
"Sit." She friendly ordered. I did so and watched her for whatever was about to come next. Miss Audrey did the same thing. "Tomorrow is the big day, huh?" She said, looking at me, still smiling slightly. Her eyes then wondered off. "You girls are all I've got, you're what I live for. You know that right?"
I was completely shocked, was she drunk? She looked and acted like a completely different person. Miss Audrey saw the look in my eyes and gave a slight laugh.
"I know, I know. I haven't really blurted out my feelings and all, but that is what I truly feel. And tomorrow will be the last journey I will have with you. But you girls are like daughters to me." She looked at me, actually looked at me. Nothing like the past years. But like a daughter of her own who is about to move away and live far from their mother. "I've loved you most of all, Eden. You're like a treasure ready to be opened." You mean a package ready to be ripped open. I thought silently. I should not let my feelings get in the way of what I've been planning. I've already made a mistake, and I don't intend to do it again.
"You were always the bravest of them all, you were the one who had the strength to even disobey the previous principal," she laughed. "despite how scary she was. Remember." She said the last word silently. I noticed that the tears were forming in her eyes. "I've loved you since day one, Eden, dear. At first, You slapped away an officer's hand when he was about to take you off your parent's hold. Heck! You didn't even cry! You simply scolded him for the time being." She laughed.
My heart flickered. I really did have a family. But are they still alive? "My parents, are they. . .?" I wanted to know the truth about my past, I wanted to know if I have anyone left.
"Your mother is dead." Miss Audrey shook her head. "I don't know about your father." She whispered. Then her head started to shake violently. "But you don't need him. No, look how you've turned out without his help, but with mine. Eden, sweetie, please think about my favour, we can work together and . . . and-" She didn't know what to say. That was because there was nothing to say. There is no us. Not with the woman who only wants me as a principle. Even if that wasn't true, I still don't want to be here. No matter how vulnerable and weak she looks right now. I want to be free.
"Maybe you should head to bed." She said. I looked at her and saw that she was fighting the urge to burst out her tears and cry as loud as she wants. I followed the simple order and shut the door behind me, enough so that she can cry as much as she wants to.
I stood behind the door and heard what I expected. Her cries were desperate and saddening. For one brief moment I felt sympathy for her. I realised now that for all those years she was working here, that she was lonely, always lonely. The staff were on a completely different level with her and all she had . . . was us.
I shook my head, forgetting about this madness, and head to bed as instructed, just so the hours can pass by quicker, in time for The Collection.
The next morning seemed no different from any other day. The sound of birds chirping and the winds gentle breeze, brushing against my skin. I let go of the hold of the chains that withhold the window frame and head to the direction of the mirror.
I took in the appearance of dark frantic grey eyes. My tall but thin figure and long dark brown wavy hair. The person in the mirror, completely identical, stands before me, staring right back at me. I've never seen her this frightened and yet so ready. Today is the day I will have to act to accomplish my dreams. Last night was simply the longest night I've ever had to live through. I spent most of my time worrying about my family and going over my plans to escape.
I looked down to my newly designed gown, that came in the day before yesterday. Along with a long beautiful necklace that matched the colour of the gown. The pure white coloured gown was tight around my chest except below my waist where it begins to show a ruffled curve, with an extra piece of fabric at the back of the gown that slides on the floor where I walk. It had no sleeves, of course the authorities want to expose me for The Collection and not simply for pure love. Now that I think about it, did my parents marry for pure love, or did they have to go through the same thing as me?
"Eden! What's taking so long!? C'mon!"
I heard shuffle and then my door opened abruptly. Sophie emerged behind the door. She marched in my room with her brilliant short mini-dress flapping around her thighs as she does so. She dragged me by the elbow out of the room. I looked down the stairs to find all the girls gathering together, saying their farewells, yet filled with excitement rather than sadness as they don't bother looking back at the other girls who have years left for The Collection, watching them leave and to never return.
As I reach down the stairs, Martha, the youngest girl in the school, turns running to my direction.
"Eden!" Her bright anime eyes shining with tears in the light. She wrapped her tiny arms around me although her arms didn't meet at the end. "I'm gonna miss you." She said, wrinkling her eye lids to stop her loud cries. I bent down, although it was quite hard with the gown, and levelled with her. "I'm gonna miss you too." I hugged her tightly as ever but not tight enough to crush her delicate tiny body.
"Eden! Miss Audrey's waiting!" Sophie leaned in the door to shout the message and run back to the minibus with her noisy heels.
I looked back at Martha apologetically and she untied her arms back, dangling at her sides. "You're not going to forget me are you?" Martha said, looking deep into my eyes. Hoping to hear the words I've told her for the past months. I placed my hand on hers.
"Don't let me hear that from you again, you of all should know I won't ever forget you." I said, smiling reassuringly. Martha only nodded, not looking into my eyes.
"Eden! I'm warning you!" Sophie shouted. I could tell she was just on the minibus, shouting out the window.
"Bye." I said silently to Martha and squeezed her one last time.