L O V I N G
L A K Y N
LAKYN AND I woke up around the same time as each other, our arms and legs intertwined like two pieces of string forming a knot. Admittedly, I laid there for a long time before even opening my eyes, savoring the heavenly feel of him against me, like two puzzle pieces, we felt oh so perfect.
It was not until reality came rushing back that I realized I had an impatient and most likely worried parent awaiting my unwanted presence at home, I also had to go and get my car and Eden along the way, not to mention if I do not leave now, I will push every priority aside and stay here forever.
I pulled myself off Lakyn and he got up shortly after, looking well-rested. As though he could read my mind, he grabbed his phone off the clustered coffee table and dialed Eden's phone number before handing it over to me and I took it without saying a word. He disappeared somewhere upstairs and I sighed in relief, needing a moment to compose myself as angst-filled my veins.
"Hello?" Eden's nervous voice pulled me out of my thoughts, reminding me that I had rung her.
I cleared my throat, "Eden hi, it is Lila." I paused as I began pacing around the living room, "What time would you like me to come over and get you as well as my car?" I questioned her.
"Anytime from now." She said rather happily.
I sighed in relief as Lakyn walked back down the stairs in a hoodie, still in sweatpants which fit him so nicely, "I will come now, I cannot stand Lakyn any longer." I half-joked, smirking as he rolled his eyes.
"Okay, I'll see you soon." Eden replied cheerily.
I smiled in response, despite her being unable to see me, "Sounds great!" I said, sounding relieved, "See you soon, sweetie." I exclaimed before pressing the hang-up button and passing it back to Lakyn.
"You're going already?" Lakyn asked in a tone of which I was unable to decipher.
I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest, "Yes, I am." I responded in a sassy tone, "Is that okay with you?"
He took a few large strides until he was directly in front of me, looking down to my short height, "Course it is." he said smugly, "Is it okay with you?"
I rolled my eyes, "Why would it not be?"
Lakyn shrugged, "Because," he smirked, "I know you want to be bent over the kitchen counter right now, hmm?"
I was not thinking about it before, but suddenly that kitchen looks awfully inviting and so does the extremely noticeable bulge in his pants.
"Tempting," I snorted, "but I will have to object. . .this time."
He raised an eyebrow, "I want you." he admitted and I could not help but notice the vast incline of my heartbeat, "Your body heat. Your touch. I want to see how bad and beautiful those eyes look beneath me whilst I fuck you."
I am speechless, completely at a loss for words. He is so silver-tongued and easily spoken, everything he says is music to my ears and it sends this jolt of electricity throughout my entire body every time because I want everything that he is offering me and though I fantasize about the feeling of being beneath—and on top—him all hours of the day, I know that dancing with the devil will only end in being sent to hell.
It will not end well because he is still Lakyn, the boy that insults me and calls me awful names, embarrasses me and has made my life a nightmare for as long as I can remember, besides I am too stubborn to give into him.
"I. . ." I paused, feeling completely breathless as he ducked his head, his face nearing closer.
A cocky smile appeared on his lips, "You what?" he said rather teasingly, "Say it, pretty baby. Say you want me."
I shook my head, "I hate you." I forced myself to say.
"Sex and hatred are an intoxicating mixture, Violet." he said knowingly, placing his heavenly hands on my waist, slipping them beneath the material of the shirt I wore of his.
I do not know from personal experience, but I am sure that it is.
His intoxicating gaze caught mine as he bought his lips to my neck, his eyes only leaving mine once he was under my jaw, where he then pressed his soft lips to my sensitive skin, his teeth darting out to tug on my flesh.
I was a moaning spluttering mess, but he seemed to be enjoying himself even more than me as he maneuvered around my neck, kissing down lower and lower until he reached the neckline of my shirt, where he then stopped, his lips leaving me and I whimpered as I missed his touch instantly.
He wrapped his hand around the base of my neck, sliding it up until he reached the top. His hand seemed to fit around my neck like a glove, his fingertips tightening around me, but he was careful not to do it too hard.
I threw my head back, moaning as I imagined him doing this whilst he thrusts himself into me, my eyes subconsciously rolled to the back of my head and I heard him groan painfully.
"Like what you see?" I asked confidently, my eyes fluttering open as I observed his hunger and lust-filled stare.
His gaze flickered to my lips, where I bit down on it softly before going back to where his welcomed hand rested, nodding breathlessly, "Always." his head dipped back down as he pressed a kiss to my jawline, "You're so—so fucking pretty." he murmured against my cheek.
Goodness gracious, this needs to stop before I give myself to him entirely, in every possible way.
"God, Lakyn." I moaned his name as he griped my neck tighter, kissing me everywhere except for my lips, "You know exactly where to—" my own moans cut me off as I felt my knees growing weak and if it were not for his other hand being secured around me, I would have fallen.
He chuckled, removing his hand from my neck to slide down my stomach and just when I thought he was about to go down there, he took a turn and his hand travelled to my behind where he groped it harshly, "Cause I know you, Violet."
A knock sounded at the sound and I jumped away from Lakyn in an instant, hot-headed and sweaty, regardless of how freezing it actually was.
The door squeaked open, "What, mom?" Lakyn whined, sounding extremely annoying as his mother quite literally just cock-blocked him.
"I just came in to get your washing." she exclaimed warily, walking around her son as she gave him a look that said I know you are up to no good.
Lakyn gulped, pushing past me, "Let's go."
I nodded, "Bye, Lilly!" I shouted as I walked over to the door, seeing her already going up the stairs.
"Nice seeing you, Lila!" she replied.
***
"Sorry about Eden, she's just like her mother in that aspect." Mr. Rivers chuckled to himself, "She takes forever to do things."
I smiled in response, "I have noticed." I replied, recalling the many times that she has been late to school and class since moving here.
I do not know much about Eden yet, but one thing that I do know is that she is anything but punctual.
"How is Eden?" Mr. Rivers asked out of nowhere.
I toyed with the long sleeves attached to Lakyn's hoodie of which he not so graciously gave to me before getting here. I was not about to enter Eden's residency in boxers and a thin shirt, besides it was absolutely freezing, so I was more than happy to take the baggy black hoodie from him despite both black and hoodies being two things I usually dislike.
After receiving his hoodie, I knocked on the door and was invited in by none other than Sam Rivers, which was rather unpleasant and I must say, when he put two and two together; my attire and the expensive sports car leaving the driveway, occupied by none other than Lakyn Westbrook, he did not look too pleased.
I am not really the person to ask that question. How is Eden. She has been through a rough time since attending Dayton Academy—and by the looks of it, she was going through a rough time even before too—and I am one of the contending reasons as to why, but considering that I am here proves I am trying to move forward, something of which I usually am abhorrent with.
"She is well, I believe." I responded to her father whom looked so friendly and proper in his police uniform, "She seems to be slipping into the scheme of things particularly gracefully." half false, but when a parental figure wants to hear something in particular, even if not spoken about, it is best to tell them whatever it is they desire.
Mr. Rivers smiled happily, sipping on the warm mug of coffee being held in his hands, "I was informed by the academy that Eden skipped school yesterday." oh no, "Is that true?"
My eyes widened. I should have expected to see that one coming, "Yes." I replied honestly, though when seeing the disappointed look on his face, I felt the sudden urge to defend her. I hate that look. "I was with her."
His eyes widened as he placed his snowman shaped cup down onto the coffee table, "You too?" he gasped, acting as though I just told him the worst news possible.
"I was feeling unwell and did not want to go to school, besides we thought that considering the weather conditions, school would close down." I lied to him easily, it is always easier lying to a stranger, "I take complete responsibility for both your daughters and my own actions."
There were still more questions he probably had, for example: why is my car here then? Why did Eden end up located at Hale's house for the night? He is the sheriff, after all, I am sure he is intelligent enough to wonder about those things too, but hopefully, his easy-going behavior comes into good use.
Mr. Rivers waved me off, a soft smile on his thin lips, "Don't worry about it, I did stuff like that at your age." he began and I resisted the urge to groan as I prepared for the typical back in my day line, "Back in my day—"
"Lila. I'm ready!" Eden shouted, running into the living room where her father and I resonated and I almost wanted to hug her.
I stood up instantly, "Oh," I tried to sound disappointed, but it was not doing too much for me, "how unfortunate." I said, sounding awfully sarcastic.
Eden looked freshened up, wearing her usual grey sweatpants, a plain windbreaker with a black shirt beneath that. She also wore her black-rimmed glasses which looked too big for her face, I have only seen her wearing them once, a long time ago, and her hair was up in a high ponytail, baby hairs framing her well-defined face.
"Dad, I'm going over to Lila's for a while, I'll be back later." she told her father and I could not help but wonder what it would be like to actually have to inform your parent of your whereabouts.
He nodded, standing up as he looked over to where I stood next to Eden, "Have fun, girls."
We both nodded, bidding him farewell, before exiting her house via the front door and as we neared my beloved car, Eden tossed me my keys and I unlocked my G-wagon swiftly.
We entered the car and I was quick to retrieve my phone from the center console, switching it on reluctantly, switching the heat on whilst I waited for all the incoming calls and texts to come through, which they did shortly after, my lock screen flooding with not very nice messages from my father.
I sighed sadly as I briefly read some of the messages, though none of them were about my father being worried that I was absent and that something bad could have happened to me, they were all about how my grades and attendance will suffer and how I need to stop making immature choices.
Though, my sadness faded into slight happiness when I received a new message that was not from my father.
(Lakyn, 10:11 pm)
i miss you
"Everything okay?" Eden asked, pulling me from the intense gaze I was giving my phone.
I nodded, sending a snarky reply before switching my phone back off entirely, "Swell."
I started the car and began driving towards my house, the drive being extremely short due to the fact that Eden lives two or three houses down from me and we live on the same side of the lake.
"If my father asks, I was with anyone but Lakyn." I informed her as I parked in my driveway, "And these clothes are yours, okay?"
Eden nodded, staring at me rather obscurely before he hopped out of the car in unison, vastly making our way to the elegant doors which lead to my house, my bare feet frozen as I shivered, hastily opening the door before stepping inside, followed by Eden, where I then closed it quietly behind her.
I was going to dart for the stairs, then sprint up them, but it seems as though my father sensed my presence immediately as he made his way into the entrance room, his hands interlinked as a snobby scowl appeared on his mature face.
"I see you have lost the ability to answer your phone." he growled, analyzing my poor choice of clothing, "And the ability to be conservative, look at you!"
Eden cleared her throat as my hands began to tremble, both from the bitterness in the air and my father's cruel tone.
My father's entire demeanor changed as he realized the short brown-haired girl standing closely behind me, as though she was scared too, but she wanted to stay close, so that I knew she was there.
His eyes widened, "Eden!" he clapped his hands together in surprise, "Good to see you!"
Eden nodded grimly, stepping forward as her shoes scuffed against the tile, making father cringe, "Likewise." she responded rather bitterly.
Father cleared his throat, "We must have you and your father around for dinner sometime soon," he suggested, "please do tell your father to give me a call when he is free."
Eden nodded yet again, looking rather bored and uncomfortable and I almost wanted to hit her, so that she would stand up a little straighter and smile, I can only imagine the horrible things father will utter later on when we are alone.
"Will do." she piped, rocking back and forth on her heels.
My father scoffed, trying to remain polite and somewhat friendly for the time being until Eden was out of sight, which I am going to put off for as long as possible because I fear what will happen if she is not around.
Father looked at me with a dreadful stare as he turned around, "You will not be excused for your poor behavior choice either, Lilac." he growled, his broad back to us, "We will speak about this later on and you will deal with the consequences."
I visibly tensed, of course, he is aware of me truanting, I had just thought he was choosing not to acknowledge it until it is necessary, but I have never done such a thing, so of course, he is furious. Fortunately, I do not have to deal with the consequences until later on, until then I am keeping company with me for as long as possible.
I nodded, sighing in defeat, when my new-found friend took a rather unconfident step forward, hailing him to a stop, "Oh, Mr. Hayes!" she called and when he turned around to shoot me daggers, I shrugged, because I had no idea why she was doing this. "About yesterday—"
Father shook his head, ceasing Eden to silence, "Eden, really, do not feel the need to cover-up my daughter's irresponsible actions."
I would hardly say that it was irresponsible, stupid more so, but I was just trying to have fun for once and though that was not exactly what I received, it was an experience.
"I'm not." she deadpanned, becoming flustered and I could tell that her social anxiety was battling her on this one, but so was mine. "I um. . ."
Wow, great liar she is. I can lie as though it is second nature, Eden could not lie if someone was right next to her shoving a sign in her face with the lie on it.
"I bled through my pants before school and Lila took me back home to. . .you know." she paused and my cheeks reddened as well as my fathers and I do not think that Eden had a clue as to what she was saying as her words came out like vomit, "By the time that I had finished my business the gates were closed and—"
My father was as white as a ghost, "That is enough." he cleared his throat, straightening his tie as he stood there stiffly, "I will excuse you this time, Lilac. But next time you decide to mess up, do not get your friends to make up pathetic lies for you."
Of course, he does not believe it, he is like me; intelligent. Eden may have embarrassed everyone within proximity, but at least she encouraged my father to let this one thing slide, this is the only time that he has done such a thing and I know for a fact that if anyone other than Eden or Hale had been standing in this room, he would have slammed the door in their face and shouted verbal abuse at me until I am drowning in an ocean of my own tears. Luckily, he has a close relationship with both Noah Rivers (Eden's father) and Harrison Hale (Miles 'Hale's' father)
He walked out of sight and I wasted not another second before rushing to the stairs where I then rushed up them, Eden on my tail as we walked up the three flights of stairs which I am now used to, though Eden sounded like a dog after chasing a ball for an hour straight, hyperventilating.
"You should really invest in an elevator for this place," she panted, using the back of her palm to wipe the sweat off her forehead, "I am sure that you can afford it."
I snorted, rolling my eyes, "Father says that elevators are for lazy people."
"Exactly."
I chuckled opening my door before stepping into the large white space. Being in my bedroom always sets me at ease, it is so clean and calm, not too many colors which often overwhelm me. It is the only space in the crazy world of which I feel decently safe. . .and somewhere else as of recently, but I refuse to admit that to myself.
I walked directly into my wardrobe, leaving Eden in my actual room whilst I hurried to rid of Lakyn's clothing, it smelt too much like him.
"Do you mind if I just get changed quickly?" I shouted as I stared at my naked body in the mirror, grimacing.
I heard Eden hum in response and knowing her nosey qualities, I am sure that she is scouring my room, analyzing each detail carefully, she is rather observant and though I used to get heated by it, I think that it is cute that she finds interest in the world around her, even over minor and everyday objects. She finds the beauty in things and being someone whom finds ugliness even in perfection, I admire her for it, but I suppose there is perfection within imperfection, it goes in a full circle.
As much as I love fashion—correction, adore fashion, I have a distaste for Winter fashion. Do not get me wrong, I love a chunky faux fur coat and long coats, but I despise jeans and any form of pants, so it is not a great time for me considering my bottoms collections is rather limited, whereas skirts and dresses, I have hundreds.
Due to this extremely terrible problem, I spent a while pacing my wardrobe as I decided on what to wear and that was the moment that I gave in yet again. I pulled on a pair of panties and a hot pink bra before slipping Lakyn's hoodie over my head yet again, far more comfortable in it now that I am actually decent underneath.
As I stated, my pants collection is limited and considering this hoodie is black, I cannot wear black leggings too, otherwise, it will clash and look too plain, so I opted for the only pair of sweatpants that I own, which were at the bottom of a drawer, underneath many other items of clothing. They were a light grey and when I pulled them up my cold pale legs, I almost gasped at how average and normal I looked.
There was no color on my body, no figure. I looked like a box due to the straightness of the hoodie which acted as a dress, but I was comfortable, so I suppose that is good.
For shoes, I wore a pair of black booties with silver buckles at the top and a platform heel, giving me both height and comfort.
I exited my wardrobe, noticing Eden sitting at the chair for my desk, staring at something intently when I then grew curious, walking up behind her.
Oh my god. It was a sketch I had drawn absentmindedly the other day in my study period of a dress. It was a rather risqué idea. I had actually drawn it because I was thinking back to the day where I had driven Eden home for the first time and she had complimented my name, she bought up how her name exists because of the Garden of Eden. I subconsciously began to include that with my drawing, including themes of which relate to the human progression from a state of innocence and bliss to the present human condition of knowledge of sin, misery, and death.
The dress was white for the most part, the sleeves sheer and the skirt portion short, decadent three-dimensional flowers acting as a belt and as the material exceeded the belt, the colors went from peaceful to sinful, representing the same of which the garden represents.
I snatched the sketch from her, tearing it from the book, causing her to jump in fright as I scrunched it up.
"What're you doing?" Eden shrieked, turning to face me with narrowed eyes, "I was looking at that, thank you very much." she retorted, snatching the rubbish from my hands.
I glared back at her, "It is not for you to look at." I seethed.
"You drew this?" she said in surprise and I could not help but feel proud, "Lila, this is amazing."
I rolled my eyes, watching as she un-scrunched the piece of paper, "It is just a hobby and if my father sees that, he will kill me, so please throw it away."
She raised one of her perfectly arched eyebrows, "Just a hobby? You should pursue this, dude."
"Not an option, now before I ask you no so nicely, please—"
Eden cut me off by the wave of her hand, "Okay, okay!" she exclaimed defensively, "But rather then throwing it away, I am going to keep it."
I eyed her closely as she folded the paper, the corners not reaching the others which made me cringe as she stuffed paper into the pocket of her jacket.
"Before I change my mind about hanging out with you, where do you want to go?" I questioned her as I flipped my phone around in the pocket of my hoodie, "There is nothing to do here."
Eden raised an eyebrow, tapping her chin as she thought tentatively, "Won't most of the roads be closed?"
I nodded, "Probably, so pick wisely."
"Slushies?"
I screwed my face up, "Slushies?" I clarified, disgust tainting my voice, though when she nodded, I blinked once, then twice before replying, "On a day like this?"
"Yes, ma'am."
I rolled my eyes, "As you wish," I gave in as I realized an ice-cold sugar-induced beverage was better than my father's company in this lonely cold house, "and do not call me ma'am. . .sir."
"Oh my god!" Eden cried, clapping her hands, "You do have a sense of humor."
I nodded, offering her a sarcastic close-lipped smile, "Yes, new girl, I do." I clarified, "And eye-sight too, four eyes."
Eden gasped, pushing her glasses further up the bridge of her nose, "Excuse me!" she squealed, but I knew that she found it funny too as she stifled a laugh, "Considering I'm blind, I cannot see my purse anywhere, so guess who's paying?" she giggled mischievously, scurrying past me.
After that, we were quick to get to the car before we began driving around, we were headed to the gas station in Dayton Lakes, but it seemed inaccessible due to the heavy snowfall, which I probably should not be driving in, but it was not too bad, especially compared to yesterday.
I was happy that the academy was closed today, but the weather conditions were decent enough to go out. I love the snow, the fragile snowflakes and the coldness, though seeing as I am currently mildly sick, I really should be in bed, insisting that Elaine makes me some soup to soothe my sandpaper-like throat.
We ended up in Arlington Heights, where I am sure that Eden's cousins—which I met at the game—live.
"That gas station looks open." Eden shouted, pointing out of the window over to where a rather small pastel blue gas station was next to an empty lot of land where trains seemed to run through.
They stopped the usage of trains in Dayton Lakes and the surrounding towns considering it was causing unnecessary problems due to the poor weather conditions around here that caused many inconveniences and delays too, so now there are random train tracks around the more untouched areas of town, but in Dayton Lakes specifically, they have all been removed.
I took a sharp right turn where legal before pulling into the limited space next to the station, hopping out of the car in unison with Eden, making sure to grab my purse considering Eden forgot hers.
We walked side by side through the automatic sliding door and as we did so, I could not help but notice how similar our outfits were, for once mine was more loose than hers, but other than that we both had the same pants on and our upper-half attire consisted of black.
"Nice hoodie." she murmured as we headed over to the slushy machines, "Lakyn's?"
My cheeks heated up at the mention of his name, "Correct." I nodded.
After that we grabbed a cup each, I chose the medium-sized cup whilst Eden selected the extra-large one. Half of the flavors were out of order, but there was still a decently wide selection and I was having trouble, deciding what to choose, in the meantime, Eden seemed to be overwhelmed as she managed to put a layer of every single flavor.
When she was finished a minute or two later, I took my turn, choosing the raspberry flavor and then the coke being as they were the only two flavors that sounded appetizing.
Once I was finished, I placed a purple straw in my cup and walked over to the counter, paying the cashier before exiting alongside Eden, heading in the direction of my car, but it seemed as Eden had different plans as she turned the opposite way and began walking in the direction of the empty field.
I followed her, groaning in annoyance as I trailed closely behind the nosey girl.
We reached the open land and there stood a lonesome swing set, that was it. There was no slide nor monkey bars, just a swing set. I had not even noticed it when driving past, probably because it was the only minor object of this large plot of land.
Eden practically sprinted over to it before plonking herself down on one of the two swings. I cannot remember the last time that I went on a swing, but I felt an extreme sense of nostalgia as I sat myself down on the opposing one.
"When was the last time you went on one of these things?" Eden asked out of pure curiosity.
I dug through my long line of memories, "It was the last day of elementary school and Hale was pushing me but he got sidetracked and wandered off, but I did not notice until I was being shoved off the swing by Lakyn." I scowled as I thought back to that day, "I landed on my wrist and broke it."
Eden gasped at the end part, but could not help but laugh, "No wonder you hate that boy." she chuckled to herself, "Have you ever wondered why he is and was so mean to you?"
Have I? I mean, yes, briefly, but whenever I think about it too much, I get angered, solely because the thought of Lakyn brings a burning pit of hatred to my stomach. I think about a lot of things and usually, he is not one of them, but lately, those eyes and that cocky smirk of his seems to be appearing in my dreams more than I would like.
"We have never talked about it." I murmured in response.
Eden snorted, "Yeah, because you two don't talk." she pointed out, "You argue."
"Valid point." I admitted, "Enough about Lakyn. Tell me. . ." I paused as I dug into the bucket of questions I had for this girl, "tell me more about love."
Oh, love. One of few things of which are yet to be explained. Everyone perceives it differently, like a cigarette, some people inhale the smoke whilst others choke on it.
Everyone views it differently and everyone experiences it differently too. It is believed by some to be this ground-breaking heart-warming feeling that makes life go from grey clouds to blue skies, whilst others—like me—believe it is like friendship, it is not necessary, it is something we desire because we are selfish and do not like being alone, so we depend on others to fill that empty hole for us. It all narrows down to having a lack of independence.
My mother once said that it is a hard thing to do until you experience it, until then you will die believing in the illusion of perfect love. A great author once said that "love can sometimes be magic but magic can sometimes just be an illusion." You only see the illusion once you fall out of love and not when you are in love: that is the ugly truth.
I have never been in love and that is probably because I do not believe that good sex, pretty eyes and a racing heart result in true love, it results in an orgasm.
I find comfort within certainty, I despise the grey areas which are unknown, like love. Love is a whole grey area on its own.
Eden stopped swinging, her shoes scuffing against the ground as she came to a holt, "Love?" she asked and when I nodded, she said: "What do you want to know about it?"
"Anything." I shrugged, "You loved Boston—and I am sorry to bring him up—but he destroyed you, why would you love someone like that?"
Eden shrugged too, gazing off into the distance, rubbing her hold hands together, "I fell in love with Boston because at that time I had no one else, I was all on my own and I was so desperate for this sense of security and affection that I was not receiving from anyone else." she rambled and I instantly knew how she felt, "I guess I fell in love with him for the wrong reasons, but to answer your question, I loved him because even though he abused me, he was always there, and I know that sounds terrible."
As I said, it all narrows down to lack of independence, but I understand her. She is much like me in the parental figure aspect, both of our mothers let go of their daughter's hands and took hold of a drug dealers instead. I know how it feels to be neglected by the human that gave you life, it is like my mother bought me to this earth, giving me my first gasp of air just to take it away the moment I am properly able to breathe and ever since then, I have been suffocating. We have been suffocating.
"No, I get it."
Eden turned to face me with a shocked expression, "You do?"
I nodded, "Someone you loved left you without notice, so you stayed with someone who hurt you because you did not know any better."
Eden sighed, a sad look taking over her feminine face, "For someone who doesn't believe in love, you sure do know a lot about it." she said knowingly, "Are you okay, Lila?" she asked me and I froze.
Am I okay? It was such a simple question but no one ever asks me that and I had no idea how to answer. Okay means being stable, okay means feeling things, okay means being okay. I am like an airplane flying through a gigantic storm, swerving each lightning bolt. I am trying to dodge all these problems, but I am not okay, one wrong move and I will be sent down in flames.
"No." I responded truthfully, "Are you?"
Eden presented me with a small smile before shrugging her shoulders, "I am more okay than usual." she declared, "But I wouldn't say that I'm good, necessarily."
"Did something happen between you and Hale?" I caught on vastly as her cheeks turned more crimson than the Alex Perry dress in my closet.
She remained silent for a moment as if she was contemplating whether or not to tell me, before her internal battle came to an end and she nodded, "Sort of." she replied sheepishly, "I had a nightmare last night. . .about Boston and when I woke up, Hale was there and he. . .well, looked after me."
It was not until I went to speak, that I had realized I was smiling, I knew that it was because I felt overjoyed for her. Or maybe I felt happy because I experienced the exact same thing but with the same boy whom pushed me off the swing.
"Strange." I murmured more so to myself, "I had a nightmare last night too. . .and Lakyn, he helped me."
Eden's eyes practically bulged out of her head, "Lakyn Westbrook helped you?" I nodded, "Willingly?"
I nodded yet again, snorting, "Yes." I clarified, "He held me for a long time. He touched me like I belonged to him, he made me feel. . .better."
It is hard to believe that all happened a mere few hours ago, it feels as though it has been a lifetime experienced without his touch.
"I never thought the two meanest people I know would implicate those feelings towards each other." she snorted.
I glared at her, "If by feelings you mean hatred, then sure."
Eden rolled her eyes, "You two are too stubborn for your own good."
"Back to the Hale thing." I diverted the conversation back to her.
The snowfall began to fall more heavily, the fragile snowflakes falling into my hair, melting into my scalp whilst they also fell behind Eden's glasses, clouding her vision. The air was cold and fresh, the slushy on top of that making me freezing. I had only drunken half of it, but I was starting to feel ill as the day proceeded.
She threw her head back as she groaned before picking up her slushy of which she had placed on the ground, taking a sip, "We may or may not have kissed?"
I began choking on my saliva, coughing loudly as I covered my mouth with my hands, "You what now?"
Eden grinned sheepishly, her eyes rolling back as she squealed and I could not help but roll my eyes, "It was so good."
"First of all, disgusting." I scrunched my nose up in disgust, "And secondly, as your friend, it is place to inform you that Hale has an obsession with taking your virginity, so be careful, okay?"
Eden's eyes widened before her jaw fell open, "Lila, I'm not. . .you know."
Oh my god. Eden Rivers is not a virgin. I should have put that together once she informed me about her long-term boyfriend in Pennsylvania. Ha, Hale is going to be pissed.
"Your body and what you do with it is your own privacy, but I think you should make it clear to Hale that you are not looking for sex." I told her, "Unless that is what you want, of course."
Eden shrugged, "I mean it wouldn't be so bad."
I tapped my nails against the metal chains attached to the swing, "Hale is a good guy, Eden." I began to tell her, "But he is also equally bad as he is good. He gets off on—mind my French—fucking girls and leaving them."
"I get that Lila; I know he isn't good but I can tell that he's different. I can tell that he isn't all that bad" she paused as her thoughts seemed to consume her, "I think he just needs a chance, like all of us do."
I nodded, "Of course, if you are willing to see the beauty within the only boy that has ever loved me—in a brotherly way of course—then please do." I said kindly, "I am just saying that girls are like trophies to him and Lakyn as well, he takes pride in knowing that he was able to ruin someone. Please do not let him ruin you, you are strong and after being ruined before, you deserve something genuine."
If Eden wants to take part in the live-action of Beauty and the Beast, then she can, but she has to be aware that Hale is both the beauty and the beast, behind his beauty he can also be ugly and not in a typical way. He can easily lure her into his bed and tear her to shreds, if she is willing to tame the beast then so be it, but before she does so, she must know that many people have already and tried and not succeeded.
As I said, Eden sees the beauty in things, even people. I admire her for that.
"As do you." she replied with a soft smile, "I know your parents have both hurt you in different ways, but not everyone is your mom or dad." she spoke with sincerity, it made my heart swell. "Lakyn is the same as Hale, yet he was the one keeping you afloat when you were seconds from drowning. Maybe neither of them are as monstrous as people think."
Her point held both a truth and a lie. Hale more of a gentle giant whilst Lakyn simply is a giant that stomps all over people and laughs. They do good, rarely, and Hale is the only human—as well as Eden as of recently—that I can stand, but I have known him literally since I was born, I know how he is and what he does. And for Lakyn, I have known him since I was five years old, up until recently, he has never been anything but cruel.
I will acknowledge how he has been there for me recently, how he has taken my worst fear and thrown it out of the window as he hugs me to his chest, but I will also acknowledge how reckless he is, how scary he is and he easily capable he is of ruining me. He has ruined me and it feels as though after all these years of hurt, he is putting me back together because he pulled apart the puzzle, so he of all people knows exactly how to form it again.
Lakyn has made me feel things in these past few days that I have not felt for anyone. He has given me a glimpse of the real Lakyn behind the bloodied knuckles, smoked joints and insults. If I am being honest, if it were not for Eden currently, I would have never left his house, I do not think.
I would have stayed there until he made me leave because being there with him, surrounded by his human-like dog, his beautifully intelligent little sister and his loving mother, I felt more at home than I ever have in my own house. Maybe it is his arms that make me feel that way or the ambiance his house gives me.
But still, I will be wary. I will not ever let him in unless I trust him fully. And trust is something I do not give out easily, though Eden seemed to by-pass that.
"How can you allow yourself to fall for someone else when the last time you did, they did not catch you?" I murmured, pushing off as I swung lowly.
Eden cleared her throat, placing her now empty cup back down on the ground, "Because everyone is different." she answered simply, "Boston didn't catch me, but I still got back up and when I am ready, I will fall again. I might not fall for Hale, but he is worth getting to know at least."
I swung higher and higher, looking up at the grey sad sky above me, reflecting what I felt like a mirror, "It's sad." I said.
Eden began to swing along with me, "What is?"
"I mean, you ask someone about love." I huffed, "And they tell you about heartbreak." I told her, "That is exactly why I will never love. Love results in heartbreak whether the love is true or toxic."
She swung higher than me and it began to turn into an unspoken about competition, "I've never met someone like you, Lila."
I turned to face her, the wind blowing through my hair as hers flung back into her face, "What is that supposed to mean?" I took offense to her words.
"It means the way we think is completely opposite, but every word you say intrigues me." she explained, "You make this place seem normal because you feel. Sometimes I feel like everyone that resides here is immune to being an actual human."
Funny she says that because I often feel like anything but human.
I smiled, continuing to fly through the air and it felt nice because I was free for a moment. I was swinging through the cold air, snowflakes surrounding me perfectly as though I was taking place in an intriguing scene from a movie. Just for one brief moment, I felt like the child I was never allowed to be, I was wild and had no restrictions. I was not the child that was forced to grow up too fast, I was just a child.
"As nosey and annoying as you are, I admire you." I complimented her in a bitter-sweet way, "You fit into our group perfectly because you are plagued by trauma and honestly, being with you makes me feel okay."
Eden turned to me with a silly grin, her glasses completely fogged up, making me chuckle, "You are okay, Lila." she reassured me, "You just needed someone to help you realize that."
I believe I just experienced having a friend soulmate for the first time. Maybe it was the illusion I spoke about, but I am in love with Eden Rivers and the beauty she perceives. Not in a romantic way, but a friend way. I feel hypocritical saying such a thing, but I know that I can trust her. She has helped me and changed me in such a short amount of time, whatever love is, I will allow myself to experience it for her like I do only for Hale and my mother. That form of love is safe, somewhat. It's the type of love you share with people not intimately, but comfortingly.
I waited for the swing to slow down before placing my feet against the ground and Eden did too once realizing that I wished to stop before I turned to face her with a grin, a true and large tooth showing grin.
"What?" she asked as she pulled her glasses from her face, using the material on her jacket to clear the fog.
I chuckled as she turned to face me with squinted eyes, "I love you."
Eden mirrored my exact expression as she placed the glasses back over her green eyes, "I love you too."
Hey everyone!
I'm back with chapter thirty 🥺 time really does fly when you're having fun. I hope you liked the friendship filled chapter. What'd you think of it? And what type of message or meaning did you receive from it?
Also my boyfriend saw all your comments in the last chapter and thought you all we so sweet haha. I love you all so much ♡
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See you soon.