LISA's POV
Tomorrow. Tomorrow morning, I'll be leaving. I'm sitting on the couch, beside me is Jennie, about to clean my wound. She's so focused. Then I held her hand.
"Can I try it? I want to clean my wound on my own."
Because in the next few days, I'll be doing it on my own.
"Just let me do it." she said.
"It's my body, I want to try. Guide me."
I held the tong and she just looked at me. I smiled at her but she's serious. She remained silent and slowly removed the gauzes.
"It's almost healed though."
"Yeah.."
I sat comfortably and picked one cotton with alcohol on it. I slowly rub it around the stitches and on the wound part. I gasped when I feel it.
"Does it hurt?" she asks and caressed my side softly.
"No.. it's fine. Kinda stings but it's fine."
After the alcohol, I picked one of the cottons with betadine. Then I rub it again on my wound. It feels cold as always. Few moments after, she helps me with the gauzes and I insisted on putting it on my own again. She just let me.
"Okay. All done. Wasn't that hard though. I can do it on my own."
"Okay. Do you want to eat?"
"I'll just go downstairs later. I want to sleep." I replied as I fix my shirt.
"Why are you spending a lot of times here in your room.. it's so not you, Catnip."
I just chuckled. Because I'm writing you a letter and I don't want any of you to see it, not until I'm gone. And I can feel how much you really like seeing me around.. sarcastically speaking.
"I just want to rest.. that's all. I don't feel like moving so much." And I lied.
"Do you want me to stay here with you?"
I looked at her. She arched her brows at me but she's serious.
"No.. uhm.. you really don't have to. I'm fine. Just.. you go down and have fun with the other girls. I heard you will be playing war game?"
"Yeah.. Monkey and Python unnie insisted on it."
"Mhm.. have fun. I'm fine here."
"Are you sure? Sad.. you can't join us."
I just chuckled again.
"Yeah.. I'd really want to join. But I know Anda unnie won't allow me."
"I noticed Anda unnie is so quiet these past few days. Is something wrong with her?"
"I d-don't know. She looks fine to me though."
"One time.. I wanted to talk to her about something and went to her office but I didn't have the chance because I heard her crying. It feels like something is really bothering her."
"I uhh.. I w-want to rest.. if you don't mind."
"Yeah.. sure. Let me help you." she held my wrist but I just smiled and removed her hand.
"I can do it. I'm fine. The girls might be waiting for you already." I said as I laid on the bed.
She remained silent as she wears her jacket and took out her airsoft gun. She was about to go out but I called her.
"Jen.."
"Hm?"
"Can I cuddle with you tonight.. when we sleep?"
She bent her head but then nodded before closing the door. She's hesitant. I know it. It's the last favor I would be asking, Jennie. I promise you that. After that, you won't see me again.
•••••
JENNIE's POV
"A.I., focus on the light. I'll back you up." I said through my in-ear.
"Okay. I'm in position. I see Beta guarding the light."
"Is she alone?"
"Guess so. Now, Persian!"
I went out from the cover and quickly crouches towards Jisoo unnie. She's running so fast. I don't know if the others can see her but she's fast. Then Monkey and Grasshopper on sight.
Good. They are focus on Jisoo unnie. Okay. I took the time and I successfully shot them. Jisoo unnie shot Sowon unnie then we ran to their base and grabbed the light, waving it above us as victory.
I noticed Anda unnie didn't move so much. But she's backing us up also. What is really going on with her? I often see her spacing out. And Lisa? Why does she spends so much in her room than with us? This is really confusing. I don't know what's happening to those two.
Lisa. I know she feels it. I know she knows what I am going through. It's not in my choice to be like this. But as far as I'm concern, I just really want to be careful around her. I trust her. I really do. But it's me. The problem is me. It's not my anger anymore. It's the guilt of what I did to her. That's why I'm trying everything to be civil and not hurt her.. like physically. Though I already miss whatever we were before. Before I knew everything. I wish I could turn back the time. It was my anger.. how much I despised the Persians that led me to do that. Not thinking that it was Lisa but a Persian successor. Yeah.. that's how much I despised them. But I regret doing that to her. I never want to kill her. But I shot her because I wanted her to stop. But she still hugged me. She still approached me and wrapped her arms around me. I just gave in and hugged her too. She's so stupid.
"What are we eating?" Bunny teased the losers again.
"Kimchi stew!" Mermaid yelled excitedly.
"You don't get to decide what we prepare. We prepare you shit. All of you." Beta muttered. We just laughed at her.
How I wish Lisa joined us. I just glanced at Anda unnie as she jogged her way to her office.
"Girls, call Lisa before we eat." She said and gets inside her office.
"I'll do it." I said and walks upstairs.
When I opened the door, I saw her walking towards the bathroom.
"Hey.. we're about to eat." I said as I keep the gun and removed my jacket.
"I'll be downstairs."
"I'll wait for you."
She just looked at me and went inside the bathroom. I just walk to the bed to fix the sheets and saw that book she's been reading whenever she's here. I picked it up and browses some pages.
My chest hurts as I browse. I sat on the bed and keep on browsing. These silly things she's saying.. I find them cute though. And I know she does too.
"Love is about eating your favorite foods in your favorite restaurant." I read and giggled.
I remember when we ate at Daesung oppa's resto. She's so messy with drops of sandwich on her clothes.
"Love is about those late night talks like the night will never end for the both of you."
"Love is about accidentally hugging her while sleeping."
She did that the first time we slept together. And I smiled unconsciously that time seeing how deep her sleep was.
"The random hugs are the most special."
I've felt my chest getting tight as I read this. Random hugs. She really loves to hug me. And I like it too. Feeling her arms around me.
"That special moment when you read together."
I remember one night, we're just laying here in her bed while reading in silent. Her giggles caught me and I stared at her. Her smiles give me joy too.
"Their problem is your problem."
I remember how she cried so much the moment we arrived here after meeting her mother. Hays.
I was busy reading when something fell from the book. A paper. I picked it up and read it.
"Dear Jennie,
By the time you're reading this, I'm not beside you anymore. ... "
What?
"... I asked Anda unnie to give me two weeks to spend with the girls and you. I planned this and thought about this a lot. I know what I make you feel these days. I know I've lost you the moment we knew about my father. ... "
Lisa..
" ... And that led me— "
I looked at her when she snatched the letter from my hand. She crampled it tight and snatched the book from my hand too.
"L-Lisa.. what was that all about?"
"It's nothing. Uhm.. let's go down. I'm hungry." she said and chuckled. But I saw her gulped. I noticed everything, Lisa.
"No. Tell me.. are you planning on leaving? Because of what happened?"
"What did they prepare for dinner?"
"I am asking you! Answer me!"
She just chuckled and scratches her jaw. She tosses the book inside the drawer and throws the paper in the trashbin. I stood up and approached the trashbin. I picked up the paper and opened it again. But she grabbed it from my hands. She tore it into pieces and throws it again.
"L-Lisa.. please tell me why.."
"You have the answers, Jen. About everything. You know the answers." she said plainly.
I don't understand. I really don't. I know I've been so cold with her but.. why would she leave? Is that why Anda unnie... ghad..
"Anda unnie knows about this, doesn't she?"
Yeah. It was said on the letter that she talked to her.
"It's my decision. Don't blame this on her."
"Earlier. Earlier you asked me if you could cuddle with me tonight.. is that because you're leaving? When? Tomorrow?"
"Forget what I asked." she said and continued on fixing the bed.
She was about to grab the door but I stopped her. I pulled her slowly and hugged her tight. I hugged her as I buried my face on her neck. But I can't feel her arms.
"P-Please.. p-please.."
I don't wanna cry. I don't wanna look so pathetic in front of her but my tears betray me. My chest betrays me. My body betrays me.
"D-Don't leave, Lisa. P-Please.. I n-need you. Please."
Third Person's POV
Lisa closes her eyes and bent her head. The tears she's keeping inside fell non-stop. Jennie lifted her head and looks at Lisa with her eyes full of tears too.
"Please.. don't leave us. Don't leave me.."
"Y-You know.. I h-have to."
"No! I don't know! I don't understand! I did everything I could to take care of you here! To bring you back! I don't want you to go.. please stay. I'll cuddle with you every night if that could make you stay. I'll take care of you more, Lisa. Please.."
"Why are you saying all of this all of a sudden.."
"B-Because.. b-beca— What? Because wha— Because I can't lose you! Okay! Because I love you! And I want you to stay because I want to see you always! I won't let you go, Lisa!" Jennie blurted out and hugged her tight.
Lisa froze. She wipes her tears and looks at Jennie. All this time, she thought it was a one-sided love. All this time that she felt Jennie's coldness, she almost gave up. But then all of it subsides when Jennie said she loves her too.
"Are you being serious right now or sarcastic again? You just knew I was lea— Shut up! I won't let you go!"
Then she felt Jennie's hug got even tighter. Lisa closed her eyes and smiled widely. She wrapped her arms around Jennie again and squeezes her tight. She loosen the hug but Jennie pulled her again.
"Don't let go. Hug me.." Jennie pouts as she pulled Lisa. Lisa giggled and hugged Jennie again tightly.
"Promise me, you won't leave."
"I already told— Promise me! I won't let you go! Promise me, you'll stay, Lisa!" Jennie cries again and hugged her tighter.
"Say you love me again, maybe I'll stay." Lisa teased.
"I-I d-don't want to." Jennie shyly replied.
Lisa becomes serious again and removed her arms around Jennie. The girl whines and pulled her again.
"If y-you really want m-me to st— I l-love y-you. There! I said it!" Jennie retorted and hugged her tight.
"Wow. You're really bad at things like that as much as how you're bad at compliments, you know.." Lisa mumbled but still not hugging Jennie back.
The girl whines and buried her face on her neck. Lisa pressed her lips and suppress a laughter.
"G-Give me some time. I j-just feel this f-for the first time i-in my life. I-I'm still not used to it."
"Say it again." Lisa teased.
"I l-love you.." Jennie mumbled softly.
"I can't hear you. What?" Lisa obviously heard it.
"I LOVE YOU!" Jennie glared at Lisa.
"Oh. You're shouting.."
Jennie whines again. Lisa just chuckled and hugs Jennie tight. Then someone banged their door.
"Okay! You lovebirds! We all heard it already! Dinner is ready!" Wendy said. Then they heard laughters from the girls.
"Just don't mind them. Let's stay like this for a while." Jennie mumbles and tighten the hug more. Lisa smiled and pecked on Jennie's temple.
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