"Being me is a type of perfection no one else could hope to have," -C.T
Time stood still as Joaquin and Holly stared at each other, their lips quivering as shock consumed them whole.
I could see absolute confusion, grief, and happiness switching on their faces with the speed of a second. "Daddy?" Holly's voice held extreme doubt as her lips started quivering, her green eyes watering automatically. Joaquin was no different. His mouth was literally hanging to the floor as he held up shaky hands, moving them between his eyes as if she was just some mirage that appeared out of thin air.
Holly rubbed her eyes, thinking that this was a dream, but she was completely fooled when she realized that he really was standing there. Joaquin took a staggering step towards her, a tear leaving both of his eyes as he bit his lip, hard enough to draw pain. Maybe he was telling himself that if he could feel pain, then this was a beautiful reality.
"Daddy!" The girl ran like the Flash from that television show that Tomas kept talking about, her arms wide enough to wrap around his waist. "It's really you!" There was so much euphoria coming out of Holly, so much that it was enough to move me as I stared at the scene before me. "My baby girl?" Joaquin's voice cracked as he bent down to her level, cupping her face in his arms. "Oh my god, it's you..." He whispered, his eyes softening before he pulled her head into his chest gently as if he was savoring every touch.
Holly's whimpers filled my ears as she clutched her father's shirt, trying to commit the feeling to memory. "I'm sorry baby," He sniffled, squeezing her tightly as if he was trying to convey the amount of regret he felt. I didn't think I had seen anyone cry this hard before in my life, but seeing Joaquin let go without any control let me know that this was the moment that everything change. "I'm so sorry..." He whispered and Holly rubbed his back.
"It's okay, daddy," She said with a hopeful voice as a smile came to her lips. She clutched him to her tightly, or was it her to him—I didn't know, but my heart was tight as I stared at the sight before me. The way they crashed into each other, the way they embraced each other, it was as if a beautiful and radiant light was brightening up inside of each other once again.
"You're here now."
Their reunion wasn't meant to happen like this, but in several ways, I'm glad it did.
I turned to walk away, a pleased grin on my face. Everything was going to be okay. Holly would walk around with glee every day, and Joaquin would finally smile. I decided to give them some time alone but as soon as I was five feet away, I felt thick arms wrap tightly around my waist and a forehead was pressed into my back.
"Huh?" I jumped in shock, turning to see Joaquin burying his face into my back. I felt my body getting warm at the way that he was holding me. "How, Cheyenne, how?" His voice began to crack as the feeling of hot tears soaked my shirt. I smirked softly, patting his arm.
"Baby when you're me, there are no bounds that you can't cross."
He couldn't stop the tears, squeezing my body even tighter, to the point where I couldn't inhale as freely as I wanted to. I would've told him to let me go, but I decided to bear it because I knew how much he needed this. I wasn't going to tell him the conditions of Holly's former home or how I got her because knowing him, he would feel extremely guilty. He already held guilt for getting her taken away, and he didn't need more.
Especially when he was seeking so hard for redemption. "Thank you," He whispered in a soft voice, one that I didn't recognize as his. I softly grinned, my heart pounding for an entirely different reason as I turned around in his arms, wrapping my own around his neck. "Thank you so much," I fought the urge to run a hand through his hair as Holly joined us, a few tears of her own soaking my skin.
Is this what it felt like to be happy because you made someone else happy?
I relished in that feeling. "Thank you, Chey Chey," Holly said, rubbing her face into my Armani shirt. Normally, I'd be mad as all hell, threatening to have her castrated for ruining one of my shirts belonging to my favorite brand, but I found that I cared not one single bit. "Ah, no need," I knew that it meant the whole entire world to Joaquin to have Holly in his arms, so I did it because I wanted him to stop feeling like he failed at everything.
"...okay, let me go now. This is the longest I'll tolerate people touching me," I grimaced, having the lack of skin-to-skin contact. "Stop crying and go talk to your child, you know make up for lost time," I let out a breath of relief as Joaquin let me go, standing to his full height. He looked like a friendly bear as he rubbed his eyes, pouting at me.
"...you're just a big kid, that's all," I pointed towards the stairs, not liking to have multiple eyes on me at once. If it was random people, sure, but not the one person who I couldn't stop thinking about.
"Her room is the last one at the end of the hall. Feel free," I felt a bit awkward because I was so conscious of everything, and I had no reason to be. I had no reason why I was feeling this way because it was just Joaquin. A fucking waiter in a shitty restaurant who had no apparent relevance to me. We belonged to different social levels and we had little to none in common. He lost his daughter, I lost Christine. His wife died, I never had a girlfriend that I was serious about. Money was sacred to him, I had too much of it.
We were totally different, almost opposing pairs, but fate made no mistake in keeping us bound to each other.
And here I was, trying to play guardian to a child that I hadn't known for long. What the hell was I thinking? I sighed, watching them walk up the stairs as if it was second nature to them, before turning around to go make way to where Tara was.
"Hi, Master Cheyenne!" The woman cheerily greeted me as I entered my state-of-the-art kitchen, the smell of spices flowing into my nose. "Dinner is almost ready. I made enough for everyone, so Joaquin doesn't have to go home hungry!" I scowled as I leaned on the counter next to her, knowing that she was cooking way before Joaquin even came.
"How the fuck did you know to make enough?" I narrowed my eyes and she shrugged. "He may or may not have texted me and asked to know when you were going to be back from running your errands," She muttered apologetically and I rolled my eyes. "It's fine, it was bound to happen anyway," I thought back to when I told Pierre to make a payment to his bank to pay off the remaining debt he had. If I could do just that one thing to make his life better, I'd do it all over again.
"You like him, don't you," Tara giggled, stirring whatever she was cooking. I felt my stomach contorting, maybe butterflies, maybe the urge to vomit, as I looked away from her. "I don't have to answer that."
She sent me a teasing smile, a fond look in her eyes. "But you had no reason to go seek that child out when there are plenty of other children who need home too. You specifically got Holly and you and I both know why you did," I said nothing but folded my arms, trying to find my way out of this situation and keep my dignity intact. "You know, you're a lot better than Sterling, Master Cheyenne," She uttered and I let a small smile run its way onto my face.
I hadn't heard that vile name in a couple of days, but it was alright because that man could rot in hell for all I cared. He had no right to call himself my father when he had once committed all his might to killing me that night. I knew that he was well aware and conscious and had not had a sip of alcohol.
"Damn right, I am."
I pushed myself off of the counter, bidding farewell to her as I made my way to my bedroom. I could hear Holly happily telling stories to her father and it made me slightly envious because once upon a time, Sterling used to be the same way.
I entered my bedroom, shutting the door as I went to go lay in bed, contemplating what to do. I was going to sell a couple of my paintings in order to acquire some money. I wanted to make Tara a nice bedroom, a lot better than the one she had at the Thorn estate. I wanted her to feel comfortable living here. God, what the fuck was wrong with me?
All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door. "Come in," I replied blandly as I sat up, seeing Joaquin enter. "Ah, you're where I figured you'd be," He stated, shutting the door and walking over to me. He looked utterly confused and out of place, so I pointed to the spot next to me. "Sit down," I demanded and he nodded, slowly taking a seat. "What's up?" I questioned and he sighed, seemingly having a lot on his plate.
"Is this real right now? Like I'm not imagining things?" He sounded so unsure of himself, so I nodded. "Yea, this is real, Joaquin. Shut up before I get my revenge from the time you spilled punch on my shirt," I growled lowly and he popped a grin. "Yep, this definitely is real," We were in close proximity of each other, my leg touching his. The smell of his mint body wash was making its home in my room, and I didn't mind it at all.
"I'm happy you found her because I don't think I could've gone any longer knowing that she was somewhere I couldn't get to," He bit his lip and my eyes immediately followed along.
"...but how will I continue to be able to see her? I don't have the funds right now to take care of her," I waved a hand at him, already having a solution for that. "She can stay with me for the time being, it matters none to me. You can drop and see her anytime you want, trust me," I smirked, moving closer to the center of my bed.
"I won't mind."
He looked as if he had more to say, which wasn't surprising considering who he was. "But when she comes to live with me, she'll be too accustomed to her way of living in luxury. That room you got her, it's too much stuff," He folded his arms, shaking his head and I chuckled. "When you decide that you want her to move in with you, she can keep all of this," There was a painful feeling in my heart as I uttered those words, and I wondered why.
I couldn't necessarily tell him that Holly lived as if she had nothing for the last eight years, so even if I spoiled her to my heart's content as if she was my own child, she would still always have that fear that it would all be snatched away from her at any given moment. She was never going to let this life consume her.
Not like I did.
"Why did you do this anyway?" Joaquin turned to me, his brown eyes gleaming at me. "You have no reason to." The stare that he gave me penetrated every wall that I had remaining, so I looked away with a tint to my cheeks, rubbing the back of my neck. "...who knows?" I was not going to admit that I wanted to see him happy because that wasn't me. I wasn't the type of person to admit anything out loud.
"Don't think anything of it, you poor boy. I just did it because I could," I muttered in a small voice, glaring at my comforter as if it had attacked me. "Heh," He chuckled in a voice that let me know that he saw right through me. If it was anyone else, they'd believe my life, but not Joaquin and part of me wanted to hate it, but I couldn't.
"Thank you, rich boy." His voice was soft, eliciting the fast racing of my heart as his big hand reached up to squeeze my cheek. I grumbled, pushing his hand away as I looked up at him to reprimand him, but the sight of him stopped me with his hand on my own.
Ah, there it was.
The smile that I wanted: that big and bright smile that showcased the majority of his white teeth as the crinkles around his eyes widened with the burst of his cheeks. The glowing happiness that soaked his aura, a perfect and dazzling smile whose imprint on my life would last forever. I forgot how to breathe as he looked at me in such a way, a way that only those godforsaken girls on my mother's speed dial looked at me.
His eyes locked onto me with a fierce intensity, a stir in the lowest part of my stomach as I gulped. Fuck being plain, he was the most perfect thing that I laid eyes on, and I did own a mirror. Several, if I was being real.
"Cheyenne, I—" He breathed, the atmosphere of the room dipping into territory I had never stepped foot into. My heart was racing and my body was heating up, a sign that I wasn't thinking straight.
Fuck it.
I was going to kiss him.