"Theia, I don't know what to do," humahagulgol paring sambit ko. It's confirmed. It's not that I don't want the baby, I love this child because it's my own flesh and blood. Ang pinag-aalala ko ay ang magiging reaksyon ni Aaron.
"You should tell him," she replied nonchalantly.
Psyche glared at her as if telling her that it's not that easy.
"Hindi ko alam kung paano. Natatakot ako sa magiging reaction niya," I sobbed.
Nailing nalang si Theia. "Cassi, hindi puwedeng hindi mo sasabihin sa kanya 'to. He has the right to know. And he has an obligation now."
I bowed my head while tears continued to fall. They both hugged me. "Ilang beses na namin to sinasabi sa 'yo, but in case you feel sad or alone, know that you can always count on us."
---
It's been a week since I found out I was carrying Aaron's child. I've been extra cautious with my movements and I don't go to bars anymore. I still haven't told him because I don't have the courage to.
We haven't seen or heard from each other in two weeks and it really pains me to think that he's okay without me.
Nag-ring ang telepono ko at nakita kong si Christian ito.
"Hello?"
"Theia told me you're pregnant. Is that true, Cassidy!" His voice grumbled and I had to wince.
"I'm sorry. Plano ko naman talagang sabihin sa 'yo, kaso nahihiya ako."
I heard him sigh from the other line."Dammit, Cassi. Pasalamat ka nalang at kaibigan kita at patapos na ang kontrata mo." Parang nai-imagine kong hinihilot niya ang sentido niya sa loob ng opisina niya habang nakaupo sa swivel chair.
"Thank you. And Xian, I have to tell you something..." I heaved a sigh. I had to decide. My baby or my career. And the answer is pretty obvious.
"What is it?" He sounded nervous, as if already having a hunch about what I was about to say.
"I'm quitting modeling for good."
I heard a sharp intake of breath and the next thing I heard was a dial tone.
Binabaan niya ako. Minutes later, I received a message from him saying that I should meet him in his office tomorrow to talk about the whole thing.
I checked my wristwatch and saw that it's 11:40 am. Twenty minutes before Aaron's lunch break.
I want to see him. What if he pushes me away just like he did before? What if he ignores me and I end up looking like a nincompoop? What if I tell him we'll be having a baby, would he be happy?
I don't want to risk the only ounce of dignity I have left but I don't want to end up with unanswered questions. Ayokong isang araw ay itanong ng anak ko kung bakit wala siyang tatay at hindi ko kayang sagutin dahil ako mismo hindi nagkaro'n ng lakas ng loob na sabihin ang tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko.
Nagpahatid ako sa opisina niya. I was really nervous as I trudged inside the building. His secretary might've recognized me because she gave me a warm smile.
I pushed Aaron's office door open and what I saw made my knees collapse. There, seated on his swivel chair, was Aaron kissing another girl.