There was one thing that was inevitable in my daily life nowadays
It the fact that whenever my body is in retired mood
My whole system just shuts down automatically....
And that I have no control over
I spent the night thinking..
I couldn't concentrate on the new series I just bought
Recalling his name alone has huge effect on me not to talk of seeing him and actually getting close enough to inhale his intoxicating cologne
I try to wave it off, shake it off my mind but it was impossible...
I sat on the couch opposite the TV, instead of the normal zombie apocalypse on the TV all I saw was Felix... His smile, his perfect white teeth, his grin, his wink,
I could even hear his deep calm voice vibrating my inner self
I didn't think he would still have so much effect on me after all these while
I finally dose off in the early hours of the morning and helped my self back to my room
Whatever I was dreaming about didn't get to it destination or promise land because someone was yelling my name and dragging back to reality
I try to open my eyes but everything was still drowsy and I was falling back to sleep mood but she wont let me
"Get up already.. Matilda for goodness sake " her voice echoed
I finally opened my eyes and blink a few times to get a clear view
"What the fuck.... Sally... Are you out of ya damn mind"
"No... You just need to wake up"
"And why.... Is Today Tuesday "
"No"
"Do I have to go to the clinic "
"Not today "
"Did they refix the sister's meeting to an early date"
"No"
"Then why are you bothering me.. You silly girl"
I land my head against the pillow while she shook my leg but I kicked her off
"Get thee away from me sally.... "
"You need to get up.. You have a visitor waiting for you outside "
"Everybody knows what my nap time means to me and no one dares to intrude... So go tell the visitor that am out of range and he should come back by noon "
"It noon already Tilda, and he has already been here earlier.. I told him you weren't awake and he left but now he is back and he is waiting outside.... So pls just get up"
"If it Julian.. He'll understand... But it can't be Julian because he is in Italy for the weekend.... Who is that "
"I don't know.... I have never seen him before"
I sat up
"They are probably here for Nana... "
"No they are not.... He specifically asked for you and he is really fine gentleman " she blushed "I don't think you should keep him waiting any longer "
"This better be worth it or else... I'll bite your ears off"
I stood up slowly and rubbed my eyes
"Are You not going to change from your nighties "
I stare at my oversized maternity gown underneath I had nothing on
"I don't have energy for that and am sure this would only take a minute because I have to return to bed"
I started heading out of the house
"At least brush your teeth because your breath smells like garbage "
But it was too late I was outside staring at my visitor before that sinked
Holy cow! It's Felix
How in the world did he find me
He was leaning against his car wearing dark shades he was still wearing his suit from yesterday
i made sure he wasn't following me last night
My breasts stood erect in my plain dress and my hair a disaster, I wished I had listened to Sally
I took deep breaths and hopped down the porch and walk towards him
He has seen me without clothes so this can't be so hard
"Hello..... Shorty "
That annoying pet name
"What are you doing here"
"It nice to see you again.... You look beautiful "
Save it douche.... I don't need your compliments
"I asked what you're doing here.. How did you even find me"
"I asked around.... Wasn't hard to find the old librarian's house... Besides it a small town and you are quite popular"
I sighed... This is really awkward
I fold my arms against my chest
"I see you are still on to your old habits.... Sleeping all day long"
"Can I help you with something "
"I feel we need to talk"
"I highly doubt that .. Because I don't feel anything "
"You have every reason to be upset Matilda... But let at least try to settle this amicably "
"You are mistaken... We have nothing to settle.. So pls just go back to where you are coming from"
fortunately for me, my Nana showed up carrying groceries
"Hey.... Thank goodness. You are back Nana, this man has been creating a nuisance, pls just make him leave"
She took one good look at him
"He doesn't look like a trouble maker"
"But he is "
"Hello ma'am "
Felix closer to her and peek her cheeks
"Am Felix Harper "
"Ohh its nice to finally meet you Felix.... Pls come in, it really hot outside...." They walk pass me and head inside " You too Matilda, don't stay out in the sun "
What just happened
I followed them in and we sat in the living room
"Would You like a glass of juice Felix, it's really hot and it was so cold yesterday "
Why is she being so nice to him
She knows who he is
"Nana I don't think you should be entertaining this guest"
"It my house, I can choose to entertain whoever I want "
"Thank You maam.. I'd like a glass of juice. Thank you "
I rolled my eyes and scowled at him
"Here You go and pls call me Gloria "
She handed a glass and he thanked her
"So to what do I owe this visit, Felix "
"Actually ma'am, sorry Gloria... Matilda and I were together once and it didn't end well.... "
"Bullshit, don't listen to him Nana, he is full of shit "
"don't You have things to do, like putting the groceries in place and maybe changing that dress"
I stood up grumpily and hurry to put everything in order trying to listen in on their conversation but everytime I try to interrupt
Nana would yell at me and that made me feel like a child
Eventually she chased me out of the house and I joined sally by the veranda
"But why would she chase me out of an issue that actually concerns me... Infact it is about me"
I complained
"And You.. Why did you confirm to him that I am staying here "
"Me..... He knows that you live here, and how was I suppose to know that you didn't want to see him"
"By now you should have known my regular kind of friends from a total stranger "
"Am sorry I didn't get the memo... You should have told me sooner"
I heard them laugh from inside and that just made my blood boil
"and why is she laughing with him.. I mean what could he have possibly said that was funny "
Sally chuckled
"What's funny "
"You! You are acting like a child whose mom wouldn't let her take her bicycle down the streets.... Relax am sure she knows what she's doing "
She's right
Have really been acting overly tensed and insensitive.
In a matter of time all this would be cleared.,
But do I really never want to see him again... I'm already torn in the middle
Life just keeps falling hard on me
After about half an hour
They walked out of the house
Chatting like they have known each other forever
It was ridiculous but cute
Felix charm just seem to affect everyone including sally..
Who stopped what she was doing to drool over him
I gave her a smack on the face to bring her back to sanity
"Oh martiiiiida... "My nana squashed
"You have such a wonderful friend here"
"Tell me about it"
"I have asked him to drop by anytime for coffee and cookies"
"I love your Nana's cookies... Thank you so much for having me Gloria "
"The pleasure is all mine "
She kissed his cheeks and head back inside
"Your grandmother is really lovely "
"Ohh "
"Can we talk for a minute... In my car"
I nodded swiftly
"Let's get this done with shall we"
We head to his car and hop in
"What's up "
I said once we had settled in
"You know am not going to back down "
"But You have to "
"I can't.... Not when I know that you would be... Might be carrying
my child"
Yes of course your child
That's all that matters to you
"Its not... Yours "
My lumps are harder to swallow and it felt as if my lungs were fried
I don't know if it was because we we're confined in his car or the weather but I feel really stuffy
"Say it until you have convinced yourself. You are not a very good liar Matilda ... And I also know that Julian is your best friend's brother "
"Did my Nana tell you that "
"No she didn't . You did a long while ago "
How did he even remember that
"What if it .... not the same Julian "
"Oh it not.... He even .. Forgot to give u a ring"
Yeah whatever
"But I know I have no say in your relationship life. You can be with whomever you want.. "
"of course I can" I blurted out
As if it was that easy
I can't even go anywhere looking like this
But maybe I don't even want to try
Relationship is definitely not in my favor
Or maybe I just want you
Have you ever thought of that
"And am not going to stop you. You deserve all the happiness in the world..And am not going to get in the way of that, But pls.... Don't punish me for my mistakes by taking away this opportunity from me..... Pls Matilda. Pls"
He does sound sincere
I know how much he wanted to be a father
Would it be unfair of me to not let him be a part of his child's life