WARNING:
The mention of eating disorders and purging in this chapter might disturb the reader. Read at your own risk.
NOTE:
If any of you, Army or not, is going through any of these please don't stay silent. I'm always here to help. We are a family, and as family I want to help anyone in need. Don't harm yourselves or anything like that. I know it's hard and it's easier said than done but if you ever need to talk I'm here so don't hesitate to message and as soon as I see the message I'll answer.💜 God bless y'all and I love y'all very much!
》Seokjin's POV
Something's wrong.
There's an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's queasy and I don't like it. It's been a week and a half since Y/N and I started dating. I just remembered that I never told Mina like I promised I would do, I guess that maybe she thinks I gave up.
It's gonna be a huge surprise when she finally finds out about Y/N and me.
I can't sleep as I keep on looking for a comfortable position in my bed. There is something wrong and I can't shake the feeling away.
I stand up from bed after a long time of not being able to sleep. I check my phone and it's only two in the morning. I grunt a little stretching my arms to pop my back. When I'm satisfied I get out of my room heading for Y/N's room. Now I feel a little more confident coming into her room, though I still ask for her permission. I slowly come in and walk to her bed where she's sleeping peacefully. I watch her face as she had a firm line on her lips and her eyes closed, her eyelashes long enough to brush her skin. I smile at the adorable view of my girlfriend.
I slowly get into her bed. She grunts softly, moving to give me space. "It's the third time this week. Are you okay?" She whispers, her eyes still closed. I nod, placing my head in the crook of her neck, letting her warmth engulf my cold skin. I feel like somehow Y/N has been losing weight this past few days and it has been shocking. Her arms are thinner, her collarbone shows through her s/c skin. Her lively color has faded and her eyes have lost shine. I'm afraid that she'll get sick. I think that's why I'm feeling like there's something wrong.
"Have you been going to the gym lately?" I ask trying to seem oblivious. I feel her flinch from under my cheek.
"I, ah, I've been doing some stuff and trying to eat healthier." I'm confused, Y/N usually eats well. But I'm not blind I know she has skipped some meals lately. She has told me she has eaten someplace else and I've decided to keep an eye on her but not push her around. I'm observing her for anything unusual.
"Is everything okay then?" I ask feeling like I might enter dangerous waters with that question. "How's work?" I hear her sigh. She turns towards me, finally opening her e/c eyes.
"It's been hard, but I'll be fine. I just need to rest and get used to not having Mina around." She tells me and I nod. I come closer to her and kiss her lips. She returns my kisses briefly and as she tries to pull away I turn her to me again and kiss her more. Our kiss is passionate, our lips moving in sync, but fighting for dominance at the same time. Our hearts beat in unison, a melody that only we make, but for some reason it feels like a distraction from something more than my mind could ever think of.
I just finished doing breakfast, my mind drifts to my kiss with Y/N last night. I feel like there's something more that I cannot comprehend, and there's a small feeling of fear in my chest.
"Hey, where are you going jagija? Aren't you having breakfast?" She sighs and shakes her head, checking her watch for the time.
"Nope, I'm running late." She come over at me and kisses me gently. As she tries to pull away I catch her waist and pull her up, making her stand on her tiptoes. "Jin! I have to go!" She squeaks, her face going red.
"Aren't you taking at least some of the food I made?" I ask and she looks over at the table, prepared with tasty dishes. She gulps and shakes her head no.
"I can't, I really have to go now Jin." She tells me and gives me another kiss before I let her go. When she's out the door my smile fades and I take out my phone, sitting down on the table to eat my breakfast. When the person answers I'm quick to explain my motives.
"Taehyung, I don't have much time to explain, but I need a favor from you."
"What would that be?"
I sigh, taping my fingers against the table, at the rhythm of my clenched heart. "Please keep an eye out for Y/N. I have a bad feeling and I can't let it go. She didn't eat breakfast, didn't take lunch or snacks like she usually does and she has been doing that for some days." I hear Taehyung hum from the other side of the line.
"I see what you mean. I'll let you know if anything." He says and I smile, relieved I can rely on Taehyung.
"Thanks Tae!"
Taehyung chuckles, "You welcome man, see ya!" Then the call ends and I feel a bit more relaxed. I know that he will look out for his cousin, she is very dear to him.
I just hope I'm wrong and she's fine.
》Taehyung's POV
I wait for Y/N in her studio, scrolling down Quotev. There are some seriously hilarious fanfics of me. I can't even start to imagine what my fans think about. I bet they would freak out if they knew I read these.
The door to the studio opens and my cousin comes in with her bags. She smiles at me and places her stuff down coming over to me and giving me a hug.
"How are you?" I ask her sitting down on her chair. She scoffs as she places her jacket on the stand next to the door.
"What hasn't happened?" I'm puzzled, what does that mean?
"Isn't Jisoo awesome?" I ask and she stops on her way, turning to me with an angering expression. I feel like I just activated a lethal bomb.
"No she isn't." She spits through gritted teeth and narrowed eyes.
"Well that's just my opinion." I say softly, trying to understand why she got so upset all of a sudden.
"If you knew Jisoo at all you wouldn't be saying that."
I open my mouth to say something else, but she cuts me off. "I don't want to talk about her." She takes her makeup bag and leaves the room. I am seriously shocked. My cousin never acts that way. Maybe Jin was right. I wonder if they had a fight or something. Nah I don't think so it must be something else. Y/N and Jin have only been dating for two weeks and a half. It's impossible for them to just fight on the third week. At least I hope I never fight with Mina.
Oh Mina, my beautiful Mina. I miss her and I'm sure Y/N misses her too. But we have to wait until she gets settled in Spain. She must become comfortable before coming for a visit, I don't want her to regret any of her decision. Specially not this one that involves her dreams.
I snap out of my thoughts when my manager comes in to tell me that is time for the photo shoot.
(TIME SKIP TO LUNCH TIME)
I'm not sure I can eat all this. I think looking at all the pleasant food on the round table. I shrug, who am I kidding, I can eat this and more! I dig into the food eagerly making pleased sounds. "This is so good." I mutter with a mouth full.
The door to the staff room opens and Y/N comes in holding a dollar. "Hey N/N*, you gonna have lunch?" I ask her with a smile.
She waves her hand and shakes her head, "No, I'm not hungry right now." She says and I nod understandingly.
*(N/N= Nickname)*
She goes to the machines and places her dollar in, choosing the water icon. The water bottle rolls down and she takes it opening it with ease and drink it seemingly desperate. I gap at her, she looks thinner for some reason. She has always been so chubby and cute.
I now realize that her usually rosy cheeks are pale and her eyes sunken like she hasn't slept well at all.
"N/N, come eat with me." I say with a smile, trying to hide how worried I am as I realize something very wrong.
She stops drink water and shakes her head, "I said I'm not hungry Tae."
I shrug, "I want you to eat. At least a little bit. Just for my sake. You don't have to eat too much." I say side glancing her with puppy eyes. She sighs and walks to the table and sits down next to me. She takes one of the plates and some chopsticks and starts to eat slowly.
She gives me a smile and continues to eat. I can breathe normally again knowing she is eating now. As we are about to finish Jisoo come in and looks at us in disgust, specially at Y/N. I look at Y/N who snarls at Jisoo.
"What now? I'm on my break." Y/N implies annoyedly placing her empty plate down.
"I'm sorry but you have to give my makeup a retouch. The photographer needs me now." She says presumably. Y/N rolls her eyes at the model, and Jisoo looks her up and down.
"That shirt is to tight on you, I can see your chubby stomach." Jisoo snorts leaving the room.
*(For this part I would really love for you guys to listen to this piano cover. It would set the mood to 100%. THANKS! All credit to Doopiano and BTS)*
I look up at Y/N who's nose has gone red and her eyes glossy.
"Y/N what was that all about?" I ask her. She looks at me with a smile.
"It's nothing Tae, she just wants me to look good an presentable. She is right, the shirt is too tight on me." She says standing up from the chair. "Please excuse me." She whispers heading out the door.
When I'm sure she is completely gone I jump from my chair and head outside to follow her. As I follow her she goes into the bathroom locking the door so no one can come in.
"Shit! No, no, no!" I hiss, placing my ear against the door. I hear some gagging and crying from the other side and I cover my mouth to keep myself from making noise.
Tears start to stream down my face as I realize that my little cousin has started to purge again. I want to scream at her and make her stop. After a few minutes I hear the toilet flush and water run. Then the door opens and I come face to face with my cousin.
She gasps, "Tae, what are you doing here? You are supposed to be getting ready for the photo shoot." She says, her voice raspy and quivery. I suddenly hug her, pulling her now thinned body to mine,I cry harder.
"Tae, what's wrong. Why are you crying?"
"Stop please. Stop skipping meals or purging. Stop that. I can't see you keep doing this to yourself. I thought that you would never resort to such a thing ever again. Please Y/N, it breaks me to see you this way. What is Jisoo doing to you?" I sob, cupping her face and looking straight to her eyes. She breaks into sobs and I feel like going to Jisoo and taking her hair and pull it till she's bald.
"I can't do it anymore Taehyung. I want to die. I can't face Jisoo anymore. She's always telling me things and she doesn't let me work－" She chokes on her words－ "Taehyung I want to die, it hurts so bad." I nod desperately, pulling her to me and hugging her tighter like I could protect her from the pain.
"I know it hurts but please don't do anything you'll regret. Y/N I love you. Jin loves you. Mina, Jungkook, your eomma and appa, and Jimin. Please don't do it. There's always a way to fix things but death isn't a way out. Nor harming yourself. Think about the people who'll miss you. I need you Y/N, you are my cousin. You are my bestfriend. Jin needs you. He is worried about you and called me this morning so I kept an eye on you. I'm glad I heard him."
That makes her cry some more. I shift our weigh sideways, trying to soothe her down. I kiss the top of her head. It is true I tease her. It is true I've always been a jerk cousin to her. Kookie and I always pulling pranks on her. This time I step down from the stool of pride and become my cousin's confidant. The cousin she needs to lean her head on.
"Did you talk to my eomma?" She shakes her head abruptly.
"I can't she'll fire me. She thinks I'm just too weak." Anger flairs through me. I let go of my cousin, my jaw setting with irk.
"Y/N, go home. I want you to rest. Don't come tomorrow to work. I'll take care of everything." As I walk away I hear her call my name. As I ignore I feel a hand yanking at my arm.
I turn around, "Taehyung please, what are you gonna do?" She pleads her voice quivering.
"I'll do my best to make things right." I say and I pull my arm away. "Go home. You need to rest and tell Jin what's going on." I say and walk away.
I take the glass elevator to my mother's office and from where I am I can see Y/N getting into a taxi.
I ball my hands into fists, anger igniting my every cell.
Don't worry Y/N, no one will hurt you again. Not now and not ever.
A/N:
I almost cried writing this chapter. I don't think I've ever written something like this before.
How do you think Jin will react when you tell him the truth? Will you even tell him at all? What will happen when Taehyung talks to his mother? Find out next chapter....
Anyway, I am very serious about this topic because I have thought about these things before. I've never done it and I hope I never will, but I have thought about starving myself or purging. But you know what? I'm glad I never resorted to do such things because I have people who love me and support me. I have a long way ahead of me and my life and health is much more valuable than any one's hurtful comments. They hurt? Yes they do. Does it mean you have to do these things in order to feel somehow better about yourself? Nope.
It is hard, but those things are never an option. In the summary I wrote that Y/N had gotten used to all the horrible names they gave her, but truth is that you might get used to people telling you things but each time it ends up making a scar in your mind. You start to believe it's something normal. When you're alone you break down and there's no one to hug you and comfort you and tell you everything will be fine, like Taehyung hugging Y/N. Sometimes we feel like Y/N, unable to see what really matters. So my beautiful Potato Chips, please don't hurt yourselves. Don't stop eating because someone called you fat or ugly. I know comments hurt, but you know what? Be proud of yourselves, because maybe you have qualities and things that that person does not.
Look at yourself in the mirror today and smile. Tell yourself how beautiful you are. Because you are. You are a gorgeous specimen, no one like you. There's only one you and no one can replace you. I'm proud of all of you. Stay strong. Love yourself. Never forget that there's people who love you: your parents, your friends, your fam, Me, BTS, God. We love you. God made you perfect just the way you are.
Always remember that. Be proud of yourselves Potato Chips.
You are my Potato fam💜💜💜💜
Thank you for reading!
- Random Potato♡