Hi everyone!
Just wanted to share some IMPORTANT info!
In case I haven't mentioned this before, I planned on making this story four parts (each part being a separate 'book.') Just so you know where we are in the story, we're reaching the end of Part 3! And Part 4 will be the last one!
Hope you're looking forward to that!
As always, don't forget to vote and comment to let me know what you think!! Reading your comments make me so happy!!
Love, Luckycharms! <3
---
I don't know if it was because I had seen it all once before or if time was just flying by a little faster, but Seetha was inflating quickly. By Aathavan's first birthday, the belly was completely evident, there was no hiding it, and by then everyone knew that my wife was pregnant with our second child.
Aathavan's first birthday celebration was grand. Though Seetha was not one to enjoy big celebrations, she certainly enjoyed this one because for the first time since our marriage, her family joined us at the palace, and I once again extended the invitation to her best friend as well.
The only person missing was Aayu.
Though both Seetha and I asked my father to allow an exception, he refused, stating that it would not set a good example for future individuals who chose to make the decisions that he made. My father refused to go easy on him.
It upset Seetha, but there was nothing more that could be done.
And so the festivities went on, and while we celebrated his first birthday in the palace, the nation celebrated as well, conducting prayers and wishing my son a happy and healthy life. In the palace, nobles, lords and ladies from all over Chandraba came to see our son. Aathavan was remarkably patient, certainly more patient than I was, shedding no tears and not throwing any tantrums. He sat in silence, smiling sometimes but usually looking observant. As people bowed for him, sometimes, if they were close enough, he would try to grab at whatever it was that they were wearing on their head, especially if it had feathers on it, the northern men loved to wear their extravagant hats with large feathers to cover their bald heads, but really, that was the worst he would do. That, and yawning.
He was well behaved, and most were mesmerized by him.
He had grown into himself now, his features more obvious, and what was striking were the lightness of his eyes. They were a light shade of brown, different from both Seetha and my eyes. They looked more like her father's eyes, actually... a good sign, if you ask me.
His eye shape was completely Seetha, making it clear that the eyes were coming from her side of the family, but his lips and nose were looking more like mine. And his hair was thick, growing quickly no matter how often we cut it, but it was okay. Seetha liked it a little long, remarking on how similar his hair was to baby Lord Krishna. She would even knot it into a thick top knot on the top of his head, just like how baby Krishna was always shown. Aathavan was certainly a good match, his skin was dark too, just like the Lords... all he needed was the peacock feather in his hair, and a flute too. Of course, the only difference was that Baby Krishna was exceptionally naughty, whereas Aathu was not.
Surprisingly or not, he got along especially well with Seetha's parents. Maybe he remembered them. Maybe he remembered the feeling of being strapped to his grandfather's back as he worked the fields. Maybe he remembered being sung to sleep by his grandmother nearly every night, especially when he woke up at random hours. He must have, because he quite easily fell asleep in Seetha's mother's arms and he was quite easily calmed when in Seetha's father's arms.
My son seemed both affectionate and smart. Exactly as Seetha had hoped.
And after a night full of celebration, the next day, Seetha, Aathavan and I had to wake up early for a tour of Aathikara, where we took Aathavan out of the palace gates for the first time since we returned from Nandioor after his birth.
The crowds were ecstatic and Aathavan watched them all in awe. He seemed excited by all the people, wiggling around excitedly in my arms as he tried to look at everyone. He even reached out, trying to touch them, though we were too high up in the grand chariot that was built for this occasion.
The day was long and loud and though Seetha quite enjoyed herself, the moment she got back home, she fell fast asleep, leaving me, who was quite used to such long days, alone with Aathavan.
I could have handed him off to one of the maids, or to Lady Suhanya... but I thought that maybe now was a better time than ever to bring him into my world. He has spent so much time with Seetha, maybe it was about time he got a glimpse of what I do.
So I let Seetha sleep and left my room with Aathavan in my arms.
I could imagine the oddness of the sight of me, the Crown Prince who was known for his rage, unforgiving nature and coldness, walking around with a babbling baby at his side. I turned more heads than I usually did, and I even heard some of the maids giggle.
Somehow, the sight of me being a father seemed to soften my image. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
And I wondered then if my father ever walked around like this with my brothers and I.
Probably not.
I felt a little bit of pride in the thought that I could be doing something for my son that my father, who was, to some extent, a good father, had not done for me.
When I reached the training grounds with my son, the usually crowded yard was only about half full. It was getting late, so I assumed most of the men had either headed off for sleep, or for their next shift. Of course, the sight of me made all of them stop what they were doing and bow, though the sight of Aathavan made them hesitate.
"Good evening, men," I said as I set Aathavan down in front of me and let him stand as he gripped onto my fingers. He was getting better at walking these days, though he preferred having something to hold on to. I wondered then, if this open yard made him a little nervous, because he was staring around wide-eyed. When I had a firmer hold of his hands though, he seemed to relax a little. "This is my son, as you all know," I continued. "He is here to train with you all."
When I looked at my men I saw them look at each other a little nervously, not sure if they should laugh or not.
I sighed. "That... was a joke," I said. "You are allowed to laugh."
One of the men snorted at that, and a few others began to let themselves laugh.
Aathavan seemed to like that, beginning to babble again, his nervousness fading. He even took a few steps forward, making me follow him as he was still gripping tightly onto my fingers. "Look at how enthusiastic he is to learn."
More men laughed and I smiled.
After a few more steps, Aathavan let go of my fingers and waddled forward on his own and I watched with pride as these men stared at their future king in awe. Maybe they were shocked that I was letting him run around so close to them, and when Aathavan grabbed onto the legs of one of the larger warriors, maybe they were shocked to see me let him do so.
Young Princes of the past were generally not allowed to mingle with the commoners... I suppose I learned how silly that was from Seetha.
I watched as these rather ferocious men, most of the men who spent their free time training were certainly the toughest of the men, looked at my son with both respect and love.
I couldn't imagine any of these men looking at me like that. They looked at me with fear and admiration, which, of course, was entirely different. So maybe, in the future, once Aathavan was much older, they would still look at him with the same kind of love and respect that they gave him now. If that were the case, I would feel a lot more relief when he marched off to battle as an adult. I would feel a lot more relief when it came to other things as well.
Aathavan tugged at the trousers of the warrior whose leg he was gripping on to. He looked up at the man and held both his hands up, opening and closing his fists. Seetha and I had learned that that was his way of telling us to lift him.
The warrior seemed to understand, but looked at me with hesitation.
"Go ahead," I said. "Entertain him, if you please."
The warriors began chuckling as their very large friend lifted up the tiny child. Aathavan was pleased, playing with the man's beard as he showed him his sword.
For the rest of the evening, as the men practiced their patterns, putting on a show for my son, I sat on the floor and watched, with Aathavan sitting on my lap. Some of the men took it seriously, hoping that they could show off their moves to the one year old and hoping that this exposure would help him. The more easy going ones, most of them either already fathers themselves or the youngest of the group, were a little silly, exaggerating their moves in an attempt to make the child laugh.
He did, loudly, clapping his hands and squealing too, especially when some of the men made silly faces and collapsed onto the floor and played dead.
I laughed too, sometimes, forgetting for a while that I was their Prince, and realizing that there was never a time in my life where the people around me, the people I ruled over, had just been... silly.
It felt pleasant.
It felt like I wasn't their superior... and that felt surprisingly nice.
It felt... freeing.
---
Seetha, despite facing the usual struggles of pregnancy, was spending much of the next few months planning these 'schools.' She had recruited her sister-in-law Mayu into the planning, helping her coordinate in her own village and being the first of the many teachers who had volunteered to join the program. By the time Seetha was reaching the end of her pregnancy, the new teachers had already been trained and sent back to their villages.
Seetha was ecstatic.
Many of these to-be-teachers were extremely enthusiastic, men and women alike. Of course, most of them were men, but Seetha was happy to see women come out too.
Since Seetha was busy, and I was more than happy to take care of Aathavan, I would free the maids of their duties and take him with me. Aathavan seemed to love Bhumi, and as strange of a sight as it was, I would often strap Aathavan onto me, as Seetha's father had while we were back in the village, and ride Bhumi with him to wherever I needed to go.
I began to notice that the men loved when I brought Aathavan with me too. Usually because it meant I was going to be easy on them.
I thought Seetha would be unhappy to see me take Aathavan on warrior related assignments, but when I asked her about it, she was reasonable, saying that it was going to be a big part of his life in the future, so it was better he became familiar with the people and the places now rather than later.
I appreciated that response. And I appreciated that she understood who he was and what he was meant to be in the future.
Of course, just because Aathavan was present did not mean that work did not continue on.
Though notably, no one ever got yelled at while Aathavan was there.
After one of these days, a longer one than usual, by the time I rode back into the palace gates with Aathavan, he was fast asleep. I was careful not to wake him as I got off Bhumi and returned to our room. I needed a bath, and maybe he did too.
When I got to the room, Seetha was sitting in a large cushioned chair with Lord Suryadevan sitting across from her. Lord Suryadevan was an older man, one of the head instructors of the maths and sciences in the palace, having taught nearly all the royals and many of the more prominent nobles as well. He was one of the few court members who had been tolerant of Seetha from the start, and so I was happy to hear that he would be working on this with her. Lord Vinthan, the other older man assigned to help Seetha, and the head of the instructor of the arts, was a little more reluctant to accept her. However, I had noticed that after they began working together, he seemed to grow more fond of her, going as far as calling her 'child,' since she preferred to not be called princess. Though he was not here right now, I knew he began to realize how intelligent she really was, especially since she was so articulate and such a talented storyteller.
"There's my baby," Seetha smiled. She was always so happy to see him. I had to admit, it made me a little jealous sometimes, jealous that this one got more attention than I did these days.
"He's had a long day," I put my hand on Lord Suryadevan's shoulder, stopping him from getting up to bow. I nodded my head at him before handing Seetha our sleeping child.
Her belly was so big that it was often hard for her to hold him, but that usually didn't stop her.
"How are things?" I asked. "I'm not interrupting anything important?"
"You're not interrupting," Seetha smiled. She looked exhausted. "I was just sharing the news with Lord Suryadevan that my sister-in-law let me know that it's working out very well! Many students have joined and they had to create an extra class. Thankfully another one of my old friends agreed to teach that other class, so it's still running smoothly. The lunch idea was very effective, and I was told that there was also the indirect benefit of the kids just looking a lot more awake and healthier simply because they are eating better."
"That is good news," I said, happy to see her so happy.
She nodded. "And villagers are really coming together! Some mothers are taking time out of their day to prepare the food for the children to help ease the workload on the teachers. And in some of the villages, the teachers are getting the students to help with the food preparation, which is amazing! They're learning to cook too! I hadn't even thought of that!"
"The only downside that we are seeing is that there are certainly a smaller number of girls attending the classes," Lord Suryadeva said.
That made sense. The majority of the nation believed that girls did not need to be educated.
Seetha nodded. "We'll work on that though," she said. "We'll have to find a way to encourage the girls to join... but we'll work on that."
Lord Suryadeva smiled, standing up. "We will continue to discuss soon, for now, I will let you rest, princess."
Seetha smiled, before she struggled a little to stand. "Please, stay seated," Lord Suryadeva said.
"I'll walk him to the door," I said to Seetha, who nodded her thanks before taking a deep breath and letting it out through her lips.
As I reached the door with Lord Suryadeva, I held it open and watched as the man smiled at me. "She is smarter than I ever thought she was," he said. "This effort of hers... the future will change because of it."
I let out a breath. "I wish everyone else saw her that way. It would make things easier."
The older man chuckled. "Well, they'll have to eventually, won't they?"
"I suppose so," I responded with a tired smile. After thanking the man for helping Seetha with her plans, I closed the door and turned to see Seetha leaning back in her seat, eyes closed, one hand on her enlarged stomach while she put the other over Aathavan's back as he slept on her chest. She was taking deep breaths and letting them out through her lips. She looked... in pain. "What's wrong?" I asked, walking over to her.
She shook her head. "Nothing," she said. "Baby is squirming quite a bit, is all."
I frowned. "I know you don't like it when I say this, but Seetha, you need to rest more." This pregnancy had proved to be a much more challenging one than her previous one. Though she denied it, I attributed it to the fact that she was working so much.
She chuckled before standing up, with my help, Aathavan in her arms. She leaned forward and gave me a kiss, probably to thank me for worrying about her, but I did not fail to notice that her grip on my arm was firm. Like she couldn't balance herself.
"Hey-"
"Hold him," she said.
"What?"
She pushed Aathavn into my arms, the suddenness of the move startling the child awake, while still gripping onto my arm. She blinked a few times, her lips parted, and her focus fading. "Seetha?"
She lost her balance, beginning to fall, and I grabbed her as firmly as I could, trying to hold her up. Within a moment, I realized that she hadn't just lost balance. She was losing consciousness.
"Seetha?" I called again.
Holding her up proved difficult, seeing as she was very pregnant and I had a crying child in my other arm, so she pulled me down with her, causing me to get down on one knee in order to soften her fall.
"Guards!" I called, loudly, making Aathavan cry more. "Guards!"
I looked at Seetha, whose body was leaning on my leg. I tried to set Aathavan down, but he wouldn't let go of me, arms tightly around my neck, fearful, and knowing that something was wrong. It also didn't help that he was wailing now.
While trying to figure out how to calm my son down so I check on my unconscious wife, I hadn't even noticed the two guards panicking behind me. When I did, I looked at one of them. "Go get a doctor," I ordered. As I turned to the next one, the first ran off as fast as he could. "Take my son," I said to the second.
He did, grabbing the wailing son, though he tried to keep his arms around my neck.
"It's okay, Aathu," I said to the boy, rubbing his back. "Amma just fell asleep. I have to take her to bed."
That calmed him down a little, but as the guard pulled him off of me, the wailing began again.
Now that at least one of my hands were free, I touched Seetha's face. Though she was sweating, her cheeks were cold and she was breathing with difficulty. I began to pull the shawl of her sari off, not sure if that was too tight around her, before lifting her up and carrying her to the bed. "Open the balcony door and curtains," I told the guard, speaking loudly over my crying son. "We need to let some air in."
The guard obeyed as I set her down on our bed.
I checked her pulse, it was staggered, and then began fanning her and calling her name.
"My Prince," the guard called, "you should raise her legs."
"What?" I looked at him.
The man walked over to the bed, Aathavan still crying in his arms. He took her legs in his free arm and lifted them gently. "My wife often has fainting spells, the doctor says to lift the legs to help with blood flow. Can you put the pillows here?"
I hesitated. "Yes... yes." I grabbed the pillows and placed them under her legs as the guard took over fanning her. I noticed, as I did this, that her feet were swollen, though despite this, she still wore the anklets I gave her before we were married.
I took them off, worried they were too tight.
As I did so, the second guard returned with the palace doctor, Lady Suhanya following closely behind him. "Did she fall?" Lady Suhanya asked, rushing to her side as the guard who was fanning her stepped away with Aathavan. His crying made everything seem more chaotic, though I appreciated that the guard seemed to be calming him down at least a little bit.
"No," I said, stepping away and giving her room. "Well, yes, but I caught her. It wasn't a hard fall."
"Good," Lady Suhanya responded, looking relieved.
"How far along is she?" The doctor asked as he checked her pulse.
"About eight months," Lady Suhanya said.
"Has she been complaining about pains?"
"Back pain, shoulder pains, some cramping."
My eyes widened.
She never mentioned any of that to me.
"She said they were mild, though," Lady Suhanya said, she pulled her sari up and climbed up onto the bed, massaging Seetha's belly with her hands. After a moment of doing, that, Lady Suhanya's frown grew deeper. "I'm assuming now she was lying."
The doctor looked at Lady Suhanya. "She is struggling to breathe."
"We need to wake her," she responded. "Get the midwives, I'm worried the baby may begin struggling to breathe."
The doctor nodded, rushing out to get the midwives.
"What's going on?" I asked. My heart was racing in an unfamiliar kind of panic.
"Hold up her legs, Aaryan, they need to be higher," she ordered. She then looked at the guard who retrieved her. "Get some water from the washingroom, and you," she looked at the man holding my son. "Keep fanning her."
"Is she going to wake up?" I asked as all of us did as she ordered.
Lady Suhanya pulled the pillow from under her head. "She must. We have to force labour."
"What?!" I scoffed. "Why?"
"I think her placenta is detaching," she said. "If she does not give birth soon, the baby will not be able to breathe."
My heart dropped and I felt the blood rush out of my face.
"Lift her back, Aaryan, just a little, we need the blood to return to her brain,"
I did not know what to say, in fact, I felt I had lost all my words, my throat and mouth dried out completely. But I did as Lady Suhanya said.
When the guard returned with the water, he set it on the other side of Seetha, on the bed. Lady Suhanya dipped her hands in it before gently running her fingers over Seetha's face, pushing her hair back. The guard who held my son seemed to know what to do, stepping closer and continuing to fan her, to keep her cool. Lady Suhanya dipped her hands in the water again and did the same thing, wetting her neck, and then her face. "Come on, Love, wake up."
After a few more attempts, I saw Seetha's fingers twitch. I could not see her face though, as Lady Suhanya was in the way.
Lady Suhanya's shoulders lowered, relieved. "Hello, child," she said, sweetly. "There she is."
I felt relief, but more panic when I heard Seetha try to talk. She lifted her hands and held onto Lady Suhanya's elbows, trying to speak, but only mumbles came out. She seemed to be unable to form words.
"It's okay, love," Lady Suhanya said. "Slowly, just relax."
The guard who fanned her looked at me. "It's okay," he said, probably seeing the distress on my face. "It takes them a moment to come back."
I nodded, though I did not calm much.
"No, no," Lady Suhanya said, making my head snap towards her. "Don't sit up yet. Just relax."
At that moment, the door opened and four other midwives rushed in with the doctor. They had buckets of warm water, cloth, bandages and other tools that midwives need.
To my surprise, my father and Anbu came in behind them. "What's going on?" My father asked, looking both worried and stern.
Lady Suhanya did not look at him. She did not respond either.
"Anbu," I called, looking at the very concerned young boy. "Take Aathavan," I said, using my head to gesture at the still crying boy. "Take him outside."
Anbu nodded, rushing over to the guard who handed him over.
As Anbu rushed out with him, Aathavan's wails grew louder, and it made Seetha become more frantic.
"Shhh," Lady Suhanya tried to calm her. "He's fine, love. He's with Anbu." She then turned to me. "Come here," she said. "Calm her."
I placed Seetha's body carefully down on the bed and rushed to her side. Now that I could see her face, my heart dropped more. She was in tears, scared and confused.
But seeing me seemed to calm her, at least a little.
I sat on the bed and leaned over her, touching her wet cheek with my hand. "It's okay, I'm here."
"W-what..." She still couldn't make the words.
"Everything is going to be fine," I said, kissing her forehead. "Just listen to Lady Suhanya."
Lady Suhanya helped the other midwives prepare for the birth and as one guard fanned, the other guard helped the midwives and my father watched on in concern. "She may have to give birth lying down," the doctor said. "If she is squatting, the baby could come out too fast and cause more bleeding."
"I know," Lady Suhanya sighed. She then turned to us. "Alright, all the men need to leave."
"What?" I scoffed.
"Men must not be in the birthing room," she said. "You know that already."
"This is my room," I argued.
"It is now the birthing room," she said, firmly. "Out. Fast, we need to get started."
Seetha was gripping onto me firmly and I knew she wanted me to stay.
"Out, Aaryan," Lady Suhanya repeated.
"Come, son," my father called.
I frowned, taking Seetha's hand in mine and looking at her. She looked incredibly distressed, as if she expected something was going to go wrong. "I'll be gone for only a little while, love," I said, smiling. "And when I'm back, there will be another child to keep us awake at night."
That made her force out a smile.
I kissed her lips before pulling away and leaving with the other men.
When I was outside my room, I saw that Anbu was pacing around with Aathavan, trying to calm him, and Lord Suryadeva was also there, looking nervous. "My prince!" he called when he saw me. "I heard Seetha fainted... I came back as soon as I heard, is she okay?"
"She's going to give birth," I simply said. I didn't have the patience right now to expand further. "She'll be fine."
The old man nodded, grasping his hands together. I appreciated the care he seemed to have for her, but once again, I lacked the patience right now.
I walked over to Anbu and Aathavan, and when Aathavan saw me, his cries got louder as he reached his hands out to me, urging me to take him. I reached out to take him from my brother, but at that moment noticed...
My hands were shaking.
"He's inconsolable, brother," Anbu said, handing my son to me.
I took him, letting the child wrap his arms around my neck and wail into my ear as I rubbed his back, trying to conceal my shaking hands by moving them. "I think he panicked. He was startled awake and then he saw Seetha collapse... It must have scared him."
That and the fact that he had always been good at reading faces. He must have seen my panic and that would have made things worse for him.
"Is she okay?" Anbu asked nervously, probably knowing that I wasn't in the mood to entertain those questions but not being able to hold himself back.
Aathavan began to calm himself down, my neck and shoulder soaked with his tears as he rubbed his face against my skin.
"She's awake," I said. "But Lady Suhanya wants her to give birth now."
"They're going to force it?"
"I don't know."
I knew quite a bit about childbirth. For starters, being raised by Lady Suhanya, the head midwife, meant that I had access to this knowledge. Lady Suhanya was not the kind of woman to hold back on details, and I always appreciated that about her. But I also knew a lot because Seetha had explained what happened with Aathavan in excruciating detail.
I had asked her.
I wanted to know.
But she never mentioned anything about fainting before. She also never mentioned anything about crying and screaming. And I bring that up because as the night went on, the cries and screams of Seetha were soul crushing. I kept repeating her words in my head, trying to remember if she ever told me that her pain led to her screaming, but she never said that. She called it moaning and groaning. She said the pain was great, but she was too exhausted and too focused on getting the baby out to shout. So instead, to cope with the pain she would moan.
But this time she was screaming. Screaming and crying.
The sounds didn't soothe Aathavan either.
I considered leaving with him, to get him to calm down and fall asleep, at the very least, but my legs wouldn't move me too far away from Seetha, and Aathavan refused to be taken by anyone else. I always thought Aathavan was mostly like Seetha, but it seemed like he was more like me than I thought. He wanted things to be his way.
The night passed slowly, and when the moon was high in the sky, Aathavan was still awake, Seetha was still crying, though sounding absolutely exhausted, and everyone who was there originally were still there, along with quite a few others, General Sivakasi for example, waiting.
All of us hoping she would be okay.
I was pacing, trying to get Aathavan to fall asleep, and it was when I turned back towards the door that I saw a midwife rush out of the room.
My heart stopped beating for a moment and I felt my blood run cold.
I grabbed the woman's arm as she tried to run by me. "What the hell is this?" I demanded.
Her robes were covered in blood.
Covered.
She hesitated. "I- I need to get more cloth, my Prince."
"The blood!" I snapped. "Why is there so much blood?" Seetha never mentioned anything about there being so much blood!
"My Prince... she is bleeding... I don't know what else to tell you-"
I let her go, letting her run off before turning towards Anbu. "Take him again," I said, peeling Aathavan away from me. The action made him begin wailing again.
As the nervous and confused Anbu took the boy, I turned around, but was stopped when Aathavan called me. "Appa!" he cried. "Come!"
For some reason, that made my heart hurt.
Aathavan was talking much more now, and though I knew he knew the word 'Appa,' I had heard him say it many times before, this was the first time I had heard him call me while being so sad and scared. The feeling I felt inside me was new. It was conflicted. Like a sudden urge to protect him for everything, though I knew I couldn't, not at this moment.
And urge to take him back and keep him safe in my arms, though I knew he'd have to wait a little longer.
I had never felt more like a father than in that moment.
I wondered... if ever... my own father felt that way about us.
If every time he made a decision that I hated, he had struggled heavily with it.
Maybe every time he let me down, it broke him a little.
That was how I felt right now.
I turned and looked at my son, his eyes were filled with tears and fear. "Be strong, little one," I said, touching his cheek and wiping his tears away. "I'll come back, I promise."
He knew the word promise.
Seetha had taught him what a promise meant, and I would watch as the two would touch foreheads every time they made one. She has not let him down once.
And because he knew the word, he knew what it meant and he knew that he could trust that, he leaned forward, letting me press my forehead against his.
"Promise." he repeated, though he struggled a little with the world.
I smiled at the boy, before kissing his forehead. He then proceeded to hug Anbu, and though he still cried, he quieted down. And when I met Anbu's eyes, I saw him gazing at me with surprise.
I suppose it shocked him to see me being so... fatherly?
I turned right then, and saw my father hesitate. I assumed he was going to remind me that I could not go in there, but I waved him off before he could say it and rushed into the room.
When I opened the door and closed it behind me, Lady Suhanya did not turn from her spot on the bed until all her midwives began to gasp at the sight of me. Her head then snapped around and she glowered at me. "Aaryan!" She hissed. "You must follow the rules, a man cannot be in the birthing room-"
"To hell with the rules," I snapped, running over to Seetha's side. "It's not like I followed them before anyways."
When I reached her, she looked at me in relief, though I could not share the same feeling. She had paled, her eyes were swollen, she was covered in sweat and tears and her lips were dry. There was blood all over the bed and the clothes of the midwives. The sight of the soaking red wash cloths was also discomforting.
I took her hand in mine, and saw that Lady Suhanya scoffed at my disobedience but did not pursue it further as she was too busy with whatever it was she was doing between Seetha's legs. "Keep her calm then, and awake," she ordered.
I looked back at Seetha, who looked like she wanted to say something to me, but couldn't. I shushed her as I sat on the bed next to her. "I sent a messenger to your village," I said to her, trying to calm her. "To let your parents know to come to meet their new grandchild."
She nodded slowly, trying to smile.
"I'm sure you'll be able to share all your new ideas with them too... all that school stuff. Your father will be proud."
She began closing her eyes.
"Don't let her close her eyes," Lady Suhanya ordered. "She's exhausted but she can't sleep yet!"
I placed my hand on her face, "Seetha."
Her eyes opened slowly.
"Stay awake, my love," I pressed my forehead against hers. "We need to get this baby out, Aathavan is outside waiting for you. He misses you."
She nodded. "I... I can... hear him."
"Exactly," I said. "If you stay awake, you can see him sooner."
"This one..." she started, a small smile forming on her face. "This one... will be... a troublemaker."
I chuckled. "More like me, than you, clearly."
She laughed a weak laugh.
"He'll probably be a perfect little warrior, too... already covering people with blood."
It was a foolish joke, but it worked to make her laugh more.
"What was the name we picked for another boy?"
"Aaruvinthan," she said.
I nodded. "Perfect for a warrior. This one will be a warrior for sure." Aaruvinthan. Aaru meant river... ever flowing... peaceful. Aaruvinthan however, was an alternate name for the god Lord Vishnu. The protector, or preserver. The perfect name for a little warrior.
"Darling," Lady Suhanya called. "I need you to push, slowly."
I looked at Seetha. "Almost there." Of course, I didn't know if she was almost there... I just hoped that would make her feel better.
She took a breath, exhaustion overwhelming her, but nevertheless, she pushed. Hearing her scream as she did hurt me more than any knives or swords or beatings have ever made me feel, but I pushed my own feelings aside, reminding myself that she was the one doing the work of bringing this child into the world.
When Seetha could push no more, she let out a gasp and dropped her head back, her eyes rolled back into her head and I began to panic.
"Seetha!" Lady Suhanya called.
I looked at her, not knowing what to do.
"The baby will suffocate, love, I need you to push again."
I gently tapped her face. "One more time, Seetha. Come on!"
She was crying, calling for her own mother. I had never seen her like this... of course, I could not blame her.
"She's coming, Seetha, just be patient. Right now I need you to push."
She took deep, unsteady breaths, and despite her weakness, she gripped onto my hand so tightly that I thought she would rip it right off. It didn't matter though, as I knew my pain paled in comparison to whatever it was that she was feeling.
Then, when she was finally ready, she took a final deep breath and pushed, once again, screaming as she did.
She told me before that the second Aathavan came out, he cried loudly. She said that everyone was quiet and the baby cried loudly and it brought everyone so much joy... a kind of joy that was incomparable to anything.
I think, after all the struggling, as I watched her face... I think she waited for another moment to hear that same crying.
There was no crying.
And when she didn't hear it, I saw her face change.
Then she closed her eyes, tears rushing down her cheek, and her hand went limp in mine.
"Seetha?" I called. The instant I felt her go limp, I had already forgotten everything else. I put an arm on her shoulder and shook her gently. "Seetha?"
I heard frantic whispers behind me, but I didn't care. I shook her, trying to wake her, but she was unconscious.
"Excuse me, my Prince," the doctor said. I hadn't even realized he had come in.
I snapped at him. "Don't ask me to excuse you!" I shouted. "Just make sure she's okay!"
The doctor was not phased by my anger, instead, he went straight to work. "Stop the bleeding," he said to Lady Suhanya.
"I am already on it," she said. I didn't know she was there as well, and when she looked at my face, she hesitated, but got straight to doing whatever it was she needed to do.
Seetha's body was getting cold and I waited rather helplessly, watching as Lady Suhanya worked on stopping the bleeding, and the doctor poured some form of medicine down Seetha's throat.
They covered her in blankets, trying to keep her warm, and not knowing what else to do, I just put my hand over my mouth, my hands still shaking.
She was going to be okay.
She had to be okay.
Thoughts of me losing her flashed through my mind but I did everything in my capacity to push the thoughts away.
She had to be okay.
She wasn't going to leave me. She wasn't going to leave Aathavan. I pressed my lips against her hand and closed my eyes.
But just as I closed my eyes, I jumped at the sound of a loud cry. It was strong, loud and consistent.
I turned my head and saw the midwives who were standing around my desk begin to cry, looking relieved. When I looked at Lady Suhanya, I saw that though she was still working on Seetha, she too began to cry.
My throat was still dry... my hands were still shaking... and when one of the midwives rushed over to me with a bundle in her arms, I was frozen.
The midwife handed me the bundle, and it took me a moment to accept it. When I did, I looked down and saw an absolutely tiny little baby crying within it. "A little girl, my Prince!"
My eyes widened.
A girl?
A little girl had caused all this trouble?
Our little warrior was a little girl?
I didn't know if I should laugh or not.
It seemed I had been staring at the little child for a while, because soon, Lady Suhanya had finished cleaning Seetha up, and was behind me.
She wrapped her arms around me and pressed my head against her chest.
I had no idea that I was crying until she wiped the tears from my face.
I was... crying?
I don't remember the last time I cried.
"It's going to be okay, my sweet," she said to me.
I stayed like that for a moment, still looking at my little girl as Lady Suhanya tried to calm me with her embrace. "Is she going to wake up?" I asked. I felt like a child.
"Seetha is strong. She will get through this. We must just give her time."
I nodded slowly.
She was strong.
Stronger than me, I was sure.
"You have a little girl... what name did you two pick for a little girl?"
I gently touched the cheek of the child with the back of my finger. "Mayalahi."
Beautiful illusion.