T: are you awake?
I: yeah, why?
T: meet me at the rooftop.
I: right now?
T: yes.
I: I can't.
T: not my rooftop, yours.
I: oh... Right.
***
Irina shut down her laptop after sending a few emails to Lex's former business partners. After her father's death, the whole burden of LexCorp had fallen on Irina and her aunt. And the fact that Lex had ruined their reputation by going against the city was proving to be a great trouble for them now.
No one wanted to work with LexCorp anymore and the press had as usual made a huge fuss out of the whole scenario by dragging down Lena and Irina as well just because the two belonged to the Luthor family.
But in that time of need, the Waynes had stood by them and proven to be a firm support.
LexCorp had been divided among the partners in order to recompensate for the shares they had invested with Lex. Only a few departments remained which included Irina and Thomas' department as well as those that were operating under Lena.
Upon Tim's suggestion, the remaining departments had come together to form a company of their own, renamed as LCorp in which the L stood for Luthor and the company was affiliated with Wayne Tech itself. Lena wanted to clear the family name and take a fresh start with LCorp along with her niece. And though things were difficult at first, they had gradually started to adjust with time.
Her phone vibrated as a text gleamed on the screen, Tim's contact flashing vividly: are you awake?
Yeah, why?
Seconds after, he replied: meet me at the rooftop.
Right now?
Yes.
She sighed wearily, resting her head back at the couch. She couldn't meet him at the rooftop like she used to earlier. Because before it had only been possible with her operating as a vigilante. But after recent events, she had decided never to put on her suit again. Besides her mask and escrima sticks had been damaged as well, and had probably gotten lost among the debris.
With a heavy heart, she typed back: I can't.
Not my rooftop, yours.
Irina was a little surprised to see that text but replied shortly: oh... Right.
Gathering up her stuff, she placed her laptop and files on the table, slipping her feet into her casual shoes and grabbed a shawl as well for it could get chilly on the roof at night.
She glanced at the clock; it was striking half past two. The oddity of the hour slightly perturbed her nevertheless she stepped out of her room, shutting the door gently behind her.
The Luthor Mansion was silent as she climbed up the stairs that led to the rooftop. Lena had gone to bed at her usual time and even Miss Gibson had retreated to her own portion.
Silently, she turned open the lock in the door and stepped out, the chilly night air brushing against her.
She hugged the shawl closer to herself, looking out for Tim in the dark but he was nowhere in sight.
Though as she advanced forward, she saw a cape billowing in the wind and realization dawned upon her.
Tim was standing there, leaning against the railings but he was in his Red Robin suit and had probably stopped by after finishing his patrol duty in Gotham.
Sensing the movement behind him, he turned around to face her. The cowl was covering his head, his bo staff was attached securely at the back of his utility belt and the red on his suit was vivid, just like that night when she had almost beaten him up to death.
The chill that ran down her spine was colder than the night air as she hugged her shawl even tightly, taking a step back in alarm.
Seeing him like that before her only reminded her of that terrible encounter and the fear was evident in her wide green eyes.
Though at first Tim had been a little confused to see her thus but then he realized and slipped off the cowl from his head immediately, revealing the features that she was much familiar with.
"Irina," he spoke in a gentle voice as he reached out towards her but she took another step back.
Because even though the cowl wasn't covering his face anymore, it still reminded her of how she had seen him that night when he had revealed his identity at last. And even though he had no scratches or bruises on his face, she could still envision the blood smeared on his features that night as a result of being electrocuted.
It was too soon for her to see him as Red Robin because she hadn't fully recovered from that night's trauma yet. She was so close to the edge that he feared she would stumble off if she took another step back.
She backed away from him when he reached out again, eyes not leaving his face which had a trace of fear written clearly across. And even though that fear was due to the current situation as he was worried that she would fall off the building, that expression on his features cut her to the core.
But before she could loose her footing, with a swift movement Tim grabbed her arms pulling her away from the edge, engulfing her in an embrace.
"Irina, what the hell?" He breathed as he held her close, "you were going to fall off."
Her hands rested on his chest, eyes frantically searching for the cuts she had inflicted back then.
"Ren? What are you doing?"
But her eyes were struggling in conflict as her hands cupped his face, "I don't know... I don't know how but it all felt too real, Tim. I could see the cuts, the blood... I could see it all again even though it's not there anymore."
He knew then that it wasn't right to come to her in his vigilante attire but some day or other she would have to accept him as Red Robin too. It was such a huge part of his life that he could simply not keep it hidden from her anymore.
She would have to get accustomed to it.
"I'm fine, the cuts have healed."
"I know but... But I could see..."
"Come here," he gently led her away from the railings and into the dim light that shone at the center, "see, there's nothing to worry about."
Her eyes scanned him once again, hands cautiously checking for injuries, lingering at the ribs which she had sliced through with the knives fitted in her suit.
He let her confirm that he was okay and then gently took her hands in his, "it was just a hallucination."
She let out a sigh of relief, hands still held in his. After she had calmed down a little, she spoke up, "I had got terrified, Tim. Seeing you like this, I thought I had somehow gone back to that dreadful night."
"If I had known that, I wouldn't have come here in my suit."
He placed an arm around her, gently pulling her close. She nestled her head on his shoulder, letting his scent surround her as she mumbled, "it's alright. Some day or other I would have to come to terms with the fact that you and Red Robin are one. You can't keep it hidden from me forever."
He recalled why he had come to visit her at such a time as he spoke up, "I almost forgot, I had come to return a few of your possessions."
"What possessions?" Irina looked up at him in surprise.
He took out her mask and escrima sticks, handing them both to her, "I repaired these. Your technology is a little different from what we use at Wayne Tech so it took me a little time. But I figured it out in the end. I've checked as well and now these are fit for use."
She was rather shocked as she hesitated at first but then took the mask in her hands, "how did you...?"
"Barbara found these among the debris before the police could file up all the evidence. If she hadn't done so, the police would be on your trail by now, labeling you as an equal contributor in the fire at East end. And none of us wanted that. The less people know about your presence there, the better it is for both of us."
And even though she was holding the mask, she hadn't dared to touch the escrima sticks because it was a dreadful reminder of that terrible fight. She had used those escrima sticks for the first time that night, and after all that had happened, she was sure that it would be the last as well.
"You sure you're okay now?" Tim asked, voice still evident of concern. They were sitting in a comfortable little spot, his cape draped over her, shielding her from the cold.
"Positive," she replied with a small smile so that he would be assured.
"When are you going to join me on patrol?" He asked all of a sudden, taking her by surprise.
She looked up startled, "what...?"
"As Ren, the masked vigilante. You used to save Gotham alongside me, remember?"
She didn't reply for a short while as if pondering over it, but still the answer was not affirmative. "Probably never."
"But why?"
"You know why," her reply was vague, fingers tentatively twirling the black colored mask.
He remained silent for a while as if contemplating how to respond to that. But then after a pause, he spoke, "you know what your problem is? You haven't fully forgiven yourself yet."
She didn't reply just then, allowing him to resume with his statement.
"I am not blaming you, no one else is blaming you but the issue is that you are blaming yourself. Deep down you hold yourself responsible for all that happened that night. Even though I've told you a million times that it was both our fault equally. Or perhaps I was more to blame as compared to you."
"And you were punished far worse as compared to me too..."
"But that's the point, you see. You are punishing yourself because you feel like it hadn't been enough. By feeling guilty, by holding yourself back, by fearing that you will end up hurting me."
She had lowered her gaze but he only pulled her closer in a comforting grip.
"You have to stop thinking that if you want to truly get back to normal," he resumed in an extremely soft voice as if coaxing her out of her fears, "you have to stop thinking of yourself as guilty. You've saved me so many times before, so what if you didn't just one time? It doesn't matter. And it doesn't cancel out all the good you have done to me in the past."
She kept silent even though she knew that he was saying the truth. That the only way she had of getting better was right in front of her but she was not grasping it intentionally.
"You make me want to live, Ren, what greater reason can I give to convince you?"
"I just... I'm sorry."
"But I don't want you to be sorry," he had cupped her face on his hands, looking down gently in her marble green irises, "I just want you to live your life without any such guilt clouding over you. I don't want anything to hold you down, and especially not that incident."
She looked down at the mask again and the escrima sticks that were placed at the corner, "but still... I won't ever be able to wear that suit again. I don't want to be a vigilante anymore. The last time I had put on the suit, I hurt you awfully. And I don't want that to happen ever again."
Tim turned her face gently towards him, hands clasped on either sides of her cheeks as blue irises gazed down into green, "don't you know, I fell in love with Ren first. The masked vigilante who persistently rescued me even though I kept telling her not to. Falling in love with Irina Luthor took a little longer but was only possible when the two merged into one, making me see that those were both shades of your personality. And now I love both sides of you with the depth of my heart. Be it Irina, this gorgeous independent woman or Ren, the valiant and brave vigilante."
Her eyes had started to water, moved by the pure affection in his tone, "Tim... You're too precious that I'm afraid I don't deserve you."
He gently traced the curve of her lips with his finger, "there were times when I used to think the same. But you know what, I have accepted that you're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. So whatever or whoever suggests otherwise might simply go to hell for all I care. I want you to try and accept this yourself. Trust me, it will lift a heavy burden from your heart."
She took his hand in hers, entwining their fingers together, "if only you insist, princess."
He took the mask and gave it to her, "now put it on. You have to take the first step. And the first step is to embrace and accept yourself, regardless of all that has happened in the past."
She was a bit reluctant but seeing the request in his eyes, she did so. Deep down she was scared that it could have a rather similar effect on Tim just like seeing him in his suit had had on her.
But he didn't even flinch upon seeing her with the mask, as his blue eyes only glittered in adoration and a smile danced on his face. "I love you, Ren," he breathed as he inched closer, gently capturing her lips in a kiss.
Her hand slid up to his neck, gently caressing it as the other was held in his, with their fingers interlaced. He held her close, as he left down a trail of soft butterfly kisses on her neck, lingering a little at the juncture of her jawline.
When they pulled apart, she held his face in her hands, gazing into his clear blue irises tenderly. He was so good to her that at times it felt like a surreal dream.
But then much to his surprise, she held the edges of his cowl delicately between her fingers, pulling it up as she adjusted it on his face, so that his eyes were obscured from sight and the black mask covered his head, stopping into a beak like shape right at the edge of his nose.
Irina looked at him closely, letting the truth sink in that it was none other than Tim under the cowl. And then gradually what he had said to her back when he had told her that he knew of her secret identity, began to make sense to him.
Just like he had said, she could also see how both Tim and Red Robin merged together. The only reason she couldn't see that before was because she had always thought that she despised Red Robin.
A small smile flickered on her face as she spoke, "I love you too, you annoying little bitch."
Tim laughed recalling that it was the same title she had kept reserved for Red Robin. Her hands were still cupping his face as she kissed him softly. While Tim wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as he deepened the kiss.
They had no idea how long passed with them holding on to each other but when they finally pulled apart, he mumbled in a low voice, "I might be an annoying little bitch but at least I'm your little bitch."
She smiled back, pushing the cowl off his face as she took off her own mask as well. His blue eyes were sparkling in mischief.
"So shall I expect you to accompany me tomorrow?" Tim asked.
She pinched his nose affectionately, "what's the hurry, princess?"
"It's rather boring without you. Because truth be told, I really enjoyed teasing you at patrol."
"And did you enjoy being tied upside down from buildings even?"
"Since it was you who did that, of course. It has always been an absolutely exhilarating experience."
She laughed as well, feeling as if a heavy weight had lifted off her chest, just like he had told her. "You'll have to wait for two more days because my suit is in need of a few repairs as well. Then soon enough you'll be dangling upside down from a gargoyle at Gotham tower just like before."
"I simply can't wait, love."
***