Drunk Texting | T. Drake ✔

[27]

***

[ Gotham's Freak Club ]

The Walking Dead: yo, Richard, while you were out shopping with Barbara, you missed out on the best thing that happened today.

Timmy Toes: I almost died of shock.

Demon Spawn: shut up!

Flying Grayson: what happened?

Demon Spawn: if you say another word, Todd, I swear I will slit your throat.

The Walking Dead: you're welcome to try it, bro. Death hates me so I will be back in no time.

Demon Spawn has left the chat.

Timmy Toes: hurry up, Jay, he's probably gone to find a knife or some other weapon.

Flying Grayson: guys, the suspense is killing me!

Flying Grayson: and it doesn't help that I have to report for duty in a few minutes.

Timmy's Girlfriend: but wasn't it your anniversary today?

Flying Grayson: oh hello, Ren, how are you doing?

Flying Grayson: as for the question, I'm a cop sweetheart. I don't get off days, not even on anniversaries. And even if I do take an off, I have to report whenever any calamity strikes.

Timmy Toes: yeah because out of the whole GCPD only you and Commissioner Gordon care about your jobs.

The Walking Dead: the rest won't give a shit even if the whole of Gotham is on fire.

Flying Grayson: it's not like that. You're being really biased here.

Timmy Toes: but seriously, Dick, only you and Jim Gordon are ever serious when it comes to the police or to your duty. I have never once seen any other cop putting up with all the shit that you two do on a daily basis.

Flying Grayson: screw that, just tell me right now what happened that's got Dami so worked up. You have five seconds before I leave the chat. So shoot.

The Walking Dead: so we called Tim and Ren over and gathered the whole family in order to arrange an anniversary party for you guys.

Flying Grayson: that's really sweet, thank you guys!

The Walking Dead: yeah and when the lovely couple turned up, they were... How should I put it? Looking exactly like one does right after a honeymoon.

Flying Grayson: ...

Timmy's Girlfriend: but honestly we both are not to be blamed for that.

The Walking Dead: no one's blaming you. Just let me continue with the story.

Flying Grayson: hurry up then!

The Walking Dead: these two walked in through the door and Damian happened to be passing. The point is that Tim was not wearing a turtleneck and the second Dami saw him, he went all aggressive on poor dear Ren. We had to later give him an hour long lecture on how Timmy had hickeys on his neck not bruises.

Flying Grayson: sweet Jesus! You're not pulling my leg, are you?

Timmy Toes: absolutely not. He was blaming my girlfriend for domestic violence. You should have been there, Dick, it was a total spectacle.

Flying Grayson: I wish I was...

Timmy's Girlfriend: and you don't yet know the best part. When I told him that it was weird for him to get all anxious about Tim since it's common knowledge that he wouldn't give a shit about him being a victim of any sort of violence, he was all like; "only I get to be violent with Drake, no one else. If anyone else dares to lay a hand on him, I'll chop off the fingers and parcel them back one by one and that's the least dangerous thing I could do to that person."